Monday.
Day 4.
George.
I leave Lectra's room and head to mine feeling strangely happy.
Issa and I had made a connection again in just that short time, and for the first time in awhile since I've been here, I was perfectly content. It felt like I got a free pass on making everything work with Issa being here with me again. And I wasn't going to ruin that again.
My life was beginning to feel normal again somehow.
I arrive in my room after and realize I had been sweating alot since I was inside Lectra's room with Issa. I smell my under arms and immediately retch at the odor. Did I really smell this bad when I was alone with Issa? I sure hoped not.
Today was a stress filled day and it didn't surprise me that I was sweating this badly, especially after being so nervous to meet Issa again.
I whip off my shirt and throw it in the corner of my room, reminding myself to do my laundry sometime soon. I walk over to my dresser then grab my deodorant and spray a generous amount. I lift up my arms again to see if it helped at all or if I ultimately just needed a shower. It smelled decent enough and I wouldn't be seeing anyone else today, so I called it good.
I decided then to crawl into bed and relax. I lay there staring up at the ceiling thinking of Issa. All I can think of is my first encounter of her in the kitchen with Brooks. I hated to admit it but she did look good, as little as I tried to look at her. But that being said, I definitely saw everything anyway.
I erased Brooks from the scene in the kitchen from my mind and focused on Issa, unable to think about anything else.
I close my eyes and picture her again standing there, wearing nothing but her oversized shirt watching me. This time Brooks was gone and it was only the two of us. I look down at my imaginary self and see I'm wearing exactly what I was wearing this very moment, no shirt, just sweatpants. The images felt so unbelievably clear and real as I pictured them happening, just like during my hallucinations of the school.
Not really focusing, Issa sees me standing there, smiles and begins walking towards me.
Should I feel guilty for imagining this happening with her? I couldn't help it, I saw more than I meant to today then ended up alone alone in a room with her. Whether I wanted it or not, I was feeling something from her right now.
I continue with my fantasy, feeling butterflies now as she approached me. Issa finally makes it to me, standing a few inches away. She only stands there studying my body carefully, looking mesmerized. I then do the same for her. I check out her body as I feel myself becoming more excited from it.
Her expression then changed from confident to shy within seconds of me staring her down. Her face flushes red then she backs away from me, hiding her face.
I quickly move to her, grabbing her arm so I could see her again. She then looks up to me with a small smile. Her smile was the best part about Issa. It was like a drug to me. Not able to hold back from her anymore, I grab her other arm and pull her in.
She gasps lightly then looks up into my eyes. The way she looked into them so innocently only makes me want her even more than I already did. Then, throwing everything off, she says my name in a sweet voice. I respond with a questionable 'yes?' as she watches me admiring her.
Her next words make me flinch.
'I love you George.' She looks like she regrets it immediately then tries to move away from our embrace. Quickly, I comfort her by saying;
'Issa. I love you too.' Why did I just say that? Did I really feel that way or was it just in the heat of the moment? I hardly knew her.
It didn't really matter, after all, this was all happening inside my head. I wasn't sure what to think, but Issa quickly lunged forward and kisses me passionately, making my knees grow weak. I kiss her back as the butterflies begin to move further through my body.
Issa stops kissing me. As if sensing something, she looks over my shoulder and smiles. I turn to see, and standing a few feet away is Cam. He stays there playing with his rings looking as nervous as Issa was. I completely turn around now, feeling awkward that he was there watching us. I knew Issa hated Cam but I wanted them to get along so badly.
That was only at the school, so maybe there would be hope for them to get along here again. I open my mouth to say something to Cam when Issa let's go of me and begins walking toward him.
Cam only stays there waiting for her to approach him until finally she does. He looks terrified of her and moves a step away. Quickly and without hesitation, she grabs his hand, making Cam and I both flinch equally as hard. I start walking over to them to stop it, but completely freeze at what Issa does next.
Issa is moving herself close enough to Cam to feel each others breathing. She then moves her hand up to feel his jawline, checking him out thoroughly. Then surprising us both again, she grabs his jaw firmly and pulls him into a kiss. I see Cam's eyes go wide then slowly begin to shut, letting it happen. He then grabs her, pulling her closer to him and starts caressing her body.
Issa throws her head back with a small overjoyed giggle, making Cam move to kiss her neck instead. He then opens his eyes and glances at me with a smirk, still kissing her. I feel my face begin to burn, knowing I was now an ugly red. Issa then turns to me along with Cam and says;
'Come here.'
I knew this wasn't at all real, but I couldn't help but feel like it was wrong, because it was starting to feel weirdly-real. When I don't move, Cam pleads softly;
'Please George.' He outstretches his hand and I feel myself walking over to him without actually giving my legs permission. I felt like I was being pulled by a force and couldn't stop it. Part of me didn't want it to stop.
I eventually get there next to them, not knowing what to do, when Cam pulls me into the two of them. Not wasting our time together, Cam was instantly kissing me while Issa simply watched. Absolutely starstruck, I keep my eyes open,
(BOOM BOOM SHACKA LACKA LACKA BOOM TIME HSISNWOJSJS)
then I hear a knock and I open my eyes, back to reality.
Not sure whether or not to hate whoever was knocking or love them for interrupting my unbelievably real feeling fantasy, I slowly get up and head to the door. I start to open the door then remember way too late that I was only wearing boxers.
Already opening it, I see Lectra standing outside with a huge smile, then Issa came into view looking at me like she was going to faint. They then both look me up and down making me feel very exposed. Lectra then giggled and said;
"Have fun you two!" Before I knew it, I was being dragged back inside my room by Issa as she shouted;
"See you later!" I don't know what to say after she pulls me inside. It felt too awkward to have Issa in my room with me after what had just happened in here. It had all escalated so much.
Immediately I go to speak but was interrupted ubruptly by Issa leaning against me with her hand smashed against my mouth, permitting me from speaking. Not sure where this was going, I stay put, knowing well I could easily fight against it. She then moves us both to the door, putting her ear on it. She's still holding me when she backs away and blows out a big breath.
She then realizes she was grabbing me and pulls herself away with a half smile.
Still not knowing what to say, I just sit there watching her, waiting on her to do the talking. When she does eventually talk, I can barely believe my ears.
"Can I stay here tonight?" I quickly pull out my phone to check the time and see it was only 5. I turn back to her, now finding everything amusing and ask;
"What did you do now?" She smirks a nervous grin at me then walks over to my desk chair to sit down.
"I might have accidentally told Leah that you were-ya know-my sugar daddy?" She covers her face as she says this, clearly embarrassed. Unbelievably confused how she could have possibly 'accidentally' told someone something like that, I ask;
"And how does that bring you here now?" Hands still covering her face, she moves them so only her eyes show, looking at me scarcely.
"It's the damn brother thing. He's texting me now. Wanting me to come to his room-and Leah wanted to see, so your name kinda ended up coming up. I panicked, okay?" She gets up and starts pacing around my room. I walk closer to her trying to calm her down but she quickly stretches her arms out telling me to back away.
I look down and remember what I was wearing. She then starts laughing. Feeling like she had already seen me like this long enough, I don't bother covering up. I just stand there posing dorkishly, letting her take it all in. I then begin to laugh with her as well, feeling better now about the situation.
Finally I start to walk to my closet to find some clothes. She sees me getting dressed and moves over to my bed and sits toward the wall, covering her eyes.
"Why are you covering your eyes? You already saw pretty much everything." She turns and shrugs.
"Just felt like the right thing to do I guess. If it were me, I wouldn't want you to continue watching me get dressed." I nod in agreement and walk over to my bed after finally finding some clothes then sit down. She scoots closer to my pillow, still watching me. I then begin to feel uncomfortable.
I had just been fantasizing about her minutes ago, right where she was sitting now. She must sense my awkwardness because she speaks up and timidly asks;
"I didn't-interrupt-anything, did I?" Quickly I laugh it off and say;
"No-not at all." Issa squinted her eyes like she didn't believe me but nods anyway. I then hear a buzz and see her pull out her phone and look at it. She reads something then tilts her head back against my wall, obviously annoyed.
"Is it Brooks again?"
"Leah, actually. She wants to know how it's going." With one quick motion, she lays her head down in her palms, clearly distressed. She then rolls her head onto my pillow and lays down looking defeated. Unable to take any more of her stress, I offer;
"I mean. We can just pretend I really am your sugar daddy. If that helps you. I don't mind." Still laying down, her eyes flicker up to mine.
"Really?" Shrugging, I agree;
"Yeah. And you can stay the night to really make her believe it. I can just sleep on the floor." She gets up looking stressed again and says;
"I will not make you lay on the floor. It's your room, I should sleep on the floor, not you." She starts to move off my bed when I stop her by saying;
"No-you get it. No arguing about it." She looks around like she's thinking hard then a smirk creeps across her face. She pushes a small hair behind her ear and says bashfully;
"Or-we could just share it?" She catches me so off guard that I feel myself flinch at her words. The bed was big enough that we very well could just sleep in it together. I knew she was only saying this so I wouldn't sleep on the floor, but I wasn't about to appose her idea.
"I mean-if that's okay?" She relaxes back into bed with a nod then glances at me looking nervous now. Trying to lighten the situation I say;
"We've got the whole rest of the day to talk. So it won't be too weird." Issa reaches over and pushes me with a wink.
"Looks like you got your wish of wanting to hang out with me." I smile at her, liking how easily we could talk to each other. It was almost like those days in the school had actually happened.
"It already feels like I know you so well though." I say this without thinking. The words fall right out and Issa stares at me looking nothing but startled. We only stare at each other for a few seconds, sharing a moment. She then clears her throat and looks away timidly.
I didn't ever want the moment to end. I missed the Issa I knew at the school, but she had hated me there. She seemed more confident there though, like she knew who she was. This one seems so reserved and unsure about things so far.
The awkwardness through the air must have become too thick because Issa then gets up from my bed and walks over to my desk. She looks around curiously touching things on it. After fully checking out everything in that area, she walks over to my closet and opens it up, looking inside. Then, she begins giggling softly to herself making me also get up from the bed to follow her.
She's still looking inside when I ask curiously;
"What's so funny about the inside of my closet?" Not realizing how close I had gotten to her, she snaps her head around to find me. She looks startled enough so I say;
"Sorry-didn't mean to scare you." She simply let's out a shy laugh.
"It's just-nothing." Before walking away from my closet, she quickly glances back at it before walking back over to my setup on my desk. I wondered what it could have been about my closet that was so interesting to her but ignored it and walked over to her again.
She was now sitting down at my desk and fiddling with my keyboard. I can't help but smile at how nosey she was acting around my room. She acted as if it were a familiar space that she was used to being in. I walk up behind her and get an idea. I press a button on my desk and my keyboard lights up. She immediately gasps at the colors and stares up at me, looking amazed.
Then she was snapping up at me and saying in a sarcastic tone;
"Was that supposed to impress me? I have the same one at home."
"That's not even the best part." I turn and head towards my door. On my way I grab a small colorful remote. As soon as I get to the light switch I turn and tease;
"Now this one on the other hand, is supposed to impress you." I then flip the light switch off making it pitch black in my room. For a minute, it's just the two of us alone in the darkness and all I hear is our breathing. As much as I hated the dark, it felt peaceful in a way. Just the thought of the two of us together felt nice. I had really missed her.
Feeling like I had built up the anticipation enough, I grab the remote and press the blue button. In an instant, my ceiling was filled with a galaxy of blue stars. I look over at Issa to see her eyes lit up with blue. Her mouth was open slightly and the only thing she can say is a soft 'wow'.
I chuckle at her amazement then realize how beautiful she looked in this lighting. She gets up from my desk and starts walking around looking up to the stars. She must sense me staring because she stops and watches me too. She regains her composure and tries to stop smiling but fails.
Trying not to seem impressed, she explains;
"If you had purple, then I'd really be dazzled right now. It's my favorite color." I scoff at her, then with one flick, the room was purple. She gasps at the change.
"Okay, fine George. Good job. I am now fully impressed." I bow in her direction then watch her eyes travel across my room over to my nightstand.
"What about that?" I trace where Issa is watching and understand that she was meaning my lava lamp, currently switched off, which was usually the case. The only occasion the light would be on was when I was getting ready to sleep. I didn't want to tell Issa the real reason it was there, to keep the darkness away at night.
That ultimately, I was just afraid of the dark.
Feeling less cool now, I get up and find the remote control to turn on my nightlight for Issa. I hesitate then toss her the remote without saying anything. She catches it then looks down and flips off the previous lights. Leaving us in just moments of dark, Issa finally lets the lamp come to life, adding even more colors to the room. This time a blue and yellow wave like glow that came from the flowing aqua lava and the golden mini stars that inhabitated deep inside.
We both stand there in silence watching the almost glittery stars slowly moving to their own rhythm for almost a minute until I hear Issa shuffle to look back at me. Her face is dimly lit now but I can still tell she was thinking greatly from the expressions I could see.
She finally speaks and I hear some humor in her words as she squeaks out;
"It's a nightlight, isn't it? Are you afraid of the dark George?" Issa's laughing gently when she teasingly adds;
"Aw." She tosses the remote back to me with a smile then says gently;
"I think it's cute." Issa keeps eye contact with me while she says this, letting me know she meant what she said. The shy girl she was showing me this whole time was now growing smaller and out was coming a more confident Issa, like the one I knew.
Finally she looks away and scans my room more. I decide then to turn the main lights back on, wanting to observe her better with them, as calming as my nightlight was. Eventually she looks at my TV on my wall, then back to me again, offering;
"We should watch a movie. Considering that it's what I was supposed to be doing tonight until everything went down." She runs her fingers through her hair, clearly still embarrassed about why she was here in the first place.
"A movie sounds great. There's just one issue." She gives me a concerned look then asks;
"What issue?"
"I get to pick the movie." She dramatically sighs at me then jumps into my bed near the edge.
"I get this end of the bed then. It's more comfortable this way." She stretches on her side, visibly relaxed. We were hanging out as if we knew each other for years and it was honestly refreshing. We wouldn't even need to talk, just being there with Issa made me exceedingly happier.
"Deal. Okay, now what movie should I force you to watch?" I walk over to my closet and reach for the top shelf above my clothes, grabbing down a big box of movies. I walk over to my bed and set it down.
"You still have CD's?" She eyes me a little judgmentally then giggles softly.
"You don't?" I ask back just as judgingly. She smiles, leaning back, then answers;
"No, because I'm not super old."
"I'm only 24. That is not old." She pretends to be disgusted by my age then says;
"Such an old man having a 21 year old girl in his room. Gross." She nods her head in dissaproval but I simply roll my eyes at her with a smirk and remark;
"Says the one kissing a thirty something year old, who is also, by the way, your Chancellor." She gasps looking offended. She then laughs, signaling the joke was okay to poke at, so I start to rummage through the movies, trying my best to choose one to watch.
"Action or a comedy?"
"How about a romantic comedy?" She sits up excitedly waiting for my answer. As much as I hated romantic comedies, her enthusiasm made me give in.
"Fine. But I don't have many." I push the box closer to her and she immediately digs in. I watch as she looks through the movies carefully. At last, she pulls out a movie, overly excited.
"I can't believe you have 'Love, Rosie'!" She basically throws it at me. Not even giving me a chance to object to her choice, she pleads;
"Put it in! Put it in! Put it in!" I pick it up and walk over to my dvd player and put it in, wasting no more time. Issa acted like she would explode if she didn't watch it now so I skipped through the trailers and went right to the menu and pressed play.
She let's out a little screech of what I assumed was excitement, then gets herself comfortable on my bed, covering herself up with my blankets. I hesitate to sit down with her. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to be cuddled up next to her all night. She sees me watching her and purposely coughs, getting my attention.
Quickly I avert my eyes and state;
"All you need is some popcorn and you'd be perfect." Her eyes go big from her smile as she says;
"Popcorn does sounds good." I wasn't quite used to this house yet, so I wasn't even sure if we had some or if we did, where it would be in the kitchen. She must notice my silence because she then clarifies;
"But it's fine, I don't need any." I had been so preoccupied with everything from today, that I had forgotten to even get anything to eat from the kitchen at all, I was starved.
I quickly reassure her;
"No. It's fine. I need something to eat anyway. I'll bring you something back. Don't start the movie without me though." I point at her with stern eyes making sure she gets that I was serious.
"Okay Mr. I don't like rom-coms."
"Techinically, you forced me to put it in, so-"
"Oh whatever, you so wanted to watch it just as badly. Just hurry up with that popcorn!" I then start moving towards the door as slow as I can making her groan with irritation.
"Hey, you're the one hungry here. You're only hurting yourself." I laugh to myself, ignoring her, until I finally move normal paced and walk out the door to the kitchen.
It was now significantly darker outside and all the lights downstairs were turned off, except the kitchen light. Of course someone else was in there.
I slowly walk over to the kitchen, not knowing who to expect or better yet, what to expect happening, as many strange things having went down in it in only a few days already.
I turn the corner to the kitchen finally, not hearing anything particularly weird, when I see Cam inside sitting in a chair, reading a book. He sees me and a smile stretches across his face.
"Wow. You just keep running into people down here today." Of course it was him.