Kevin was sat on the bed, playing with his phone. The korfball club had asked him last night if Heather was still planning on coming to training for the remainder of summer, after she'd missed three sessions now. He had a feeling she wouldn't, not if it meant having to drive there together every time, after he'd chosen to stay with Stephanie. But he felt like he should give her the option to say so herself, as she might surprise him and still go. But he was finding it hard to actually call her.
In the two weeks since he'd left her sat on the beach crying, they'd only seen each other a couple of times when the group had gotten together to go to the film or to the pub. And while they'd not done too badly at being normal around the others, so they wouldn't know something was up, it had taken both of them a lot of effort. He wasn't sure how much more she could put up with.
"What are you doing?" Stephanie asked him confused when she saw him pick up his phone, put it back down again while looking at it in near agony, only to pick it back up again before sighing and throwing it onto the bed.
Kevin looked up as if he'd forgotten she'd come down for a few days mid-week. "Oh ehm, the club want me to call Heather to ask if she's still gonna become a member, but she's been a bit distant lately," Kevin told her, almost completely honest with her. He just didn't tell her it was his fault that she was keeping her distance from him.
"So, you sit here, like this?" she asked him annoyed.
"Well, she might not want to talk to me so…" he started to react but stopped when she held up her hand.
"Kevin, you need to stop letting her do this to you," Stephanie told him firmly.
"Do what?" he asked, a little confused. Apart from her telling him she still had feelings for him, which he couldn't blame her for telling him about, this situation was his doing.
"You can't keep letting her pull you in whenever she feels like, coz she'll drop you again within no time. Honey, you worked really hard to get over her and move on, you can't let her pull you back," she explained, getting a gobsmacked look from him. "I must admit, I'd be more comfortable if you didn't still hang out with her as often," she added as she sat down next to him on the bed.
"I only see her when the group gets together," he reacted.
"And for training, which will turn into games," she pointed out.
"Don't you trust me?" Kevin asked, getting an insulted look from her.
"Of course, I do, I just don't trust her," Stephanie answered as she put her hand on his, getting an incredulous shake of the head in response.
"I've already told her unequivocally I'm with you, and you want me to stop hanging out with her completely?" he finally reacted the way he wanted to.
"Yes," she almost exclaimed. "Wait, why and when did you have to tell her unequivocally that you're with me?" she suddenly realised what he said, a nervous feeling settling in her stomach.
"She told me she thought she might still have feelings…."
"I knew it! I don't want you hanging out with her anymore," Stephanie almost lost it.
He looked at her as if to say he didn't recognise who she was anymore, moving a little way away from her. "So, you don't trust me," he accused her.
"Kevin, I do. It's just… sometimes, I can't help but wonder if you really are over her…. I'm just worried she might hurt you again and ruin what we have, especially if she's told you she still has feelings for you," Stephanie tried to explain as she sidled up closer to him, wondering how on earth she'd come out of this conversation as the bad guy.
"Trying to control who I hang out with is not the way to do that," he told her.
"I'm not…"
"Yes, you are," he interrupted her annoyed. "God, Steph…. You've never acted jealous before, why now?" he demanded.
"Because you've been seeing her again… and she was your first," Stephanie said, now actually sounding jealous.
"So?"
"No one ever forgets their first," she commented.
"I know that, but you don't hear me asking you not to see what's his name who lives downstairs," Kevin reacted now. Stephanie's first love was one of her downstairs neighbours and as such they obviously still saw each other on a fairly regular basis.
"That's a completely different situation," she defended herself, almost as if she couldn't believe that he'd brought that up.
"Sure it is," he commented and got up off the bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked, almost demandingly, getting up as well.
"For a walk," Kevin told her and slammed the bedroom door behind him, running down the stairs and out the front door. He tried to decide where to walk to and headed towards Joss Bay. It would give him a long walk with a beautiful beach to end up on to cool off and think stuff through.
Stephanie kicked her suitcase and dropped back onto the bed. She thumped the mattress as she looked up at the ceiling in frustration.
Once Kevin got to the beach at Joss Bay he'd calmed down enough to actually call Heather. After ringing seven times, it went to voicemail.
"Hey, it's me. Sorry to call you, but the club wants to know whether you'll be coming back to training. Ehm, you know I'd like you to, but … I understand if you'd rather not…. Just… let me know okay? … Or call them directly. Whichever. Ehm… I hope you're okay… Bye," he told her recorded voice and hung up. Kevin took a deep sigh as he looked at the waves. He knew he'd reacted a little unfairly to Stephanie, but he had given her no reason to be jealous or distrustful. And he hated being accused of something that he had taken great pains to avoid.
Heather glanced at her phone when she heard it buzzing. Kevin's picture filled her screen and she huddled into the corner of her bed until it stopped. Having been around him in the group was bearable; there were other people there to focus on and distract her, but she couldn't talk to him. You have one new voicemail, a text told her. After taking a deep breath, she rang her voicemail. "Hey, it's me…" she heard and closed her eyes. His voice cut through her, as it made her realise what a class A fool she'd been the last couple of years. If only she could've realised all of this sooner. How could he still want to have her around, for things like training? He was behaving much more like a friend than she had three years ago. And she knew she couldn't see it as anything other than being a friend, he'd made that clear. 'This sucks!' she screamed internally as she hid her face in her pillow.
Kevin headed back soon after the phone call, when it had become obvious she wasn't going to respond straight away. He hesitated outside of his bedroom door, listening to Stephanie moving around, with the radio blaring.
'One word turns into a 'Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?' My world's nothing when you're gone. I'm out here without a shield - can't go back, now both hands tied behind my back for nothing, oh, no. These times when we climb so fast to fall, again. Why we gotta fall for it, now... I never meant to start a war. You know, I never wanna hurt you. Don't even know what we're fighting for. Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield?'
He leaned his head against the door and swallowed hard. He wondered whether this song had just happened to come on or whether she'd chosen to play it. Their relationship had never been like this, so it couldn't be good if she had chosen this song to represent how she felt right now.
'Can't swallow our pride. Neither of us wanna raise that flag, mmm. If we can't surrender, then we're both gonna lose what we have, oh, no.'
At this he opened the door, making her look up. He realised she'd been gathering her stuff together. Stephanie threw down what she was holding and walked into his arms, her head against his chest. Kevin wrapped his arms around her, one hand going through her hair.
'I never meant to start a war. You know, I never wanna hurt you. Don't even know we're fighting for. Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield?'
"I'm sorry for walking out," he said softly, feeling her arms tighten slightly around him.
She could hear his heartbeat, strong and steady. "I'm sorry too," Stephanie responded, feeling his lips kiss her forehead.
'We could pretend that we are friends, tonight (oh). And, in the morning, we wake up, and we'd be alright. 'Cause, baby, we don't have to fight. And I don't want this love to feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield.'
"You will stay, won't you?" Kevin asked now, seeing over the top of her head that she'd almost finished packing. He felt her nod. "Good," he said, pulling back slightly so he could kiss her. She kissed him back hard, neither of them caring that they hadn't actually worked anything out between them.
'I guess you better go and get your armor... I never meant to start a war. You know, I never wanna hurt you. Don't even know we're fighting for. Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield?'