Can't wait for you all to read this and to start commenting! I really had fun writing this and i can't wait to see if you'll love it too !
December, the 31st.
A date of celebration for most people.
Christmas celebration extending to new year's eve, lights dancing within the streets, snow falling upon the roads, songs sung in the night as laughter mixed with the enthusiastic yells of party goers and families celebrating the coming of a new year, a new life, a new chapter.
But not for one person.
Jeongguk was in his lovely big villa, at the outskirts of Seoul, with the magnificent view upon the buzzing city with its buzzing lights. He was wearing a nice pair of dark slacks and a gray cashmere sweater molding his muscular body while he stood next to the big window panels of his bedroom looking at the city lights shrouded within the dark cold night of December, small dots of starlight ripping the dark veil of the sky.
Such a lovely sight.
He smiled but it was a sad smile and he extended his hand to a cup of whiskey on the little table beside his comfortable rocking chair, a small chocolate and strawberry cake with a candle in the middle decorating the otherwise simple scenery of his dark themed bedroom. The only source of light was the little lamp in the far corner by the bed and the street lamps of the snow covered streets outside. But that's ok because that's how Jeongguk wanted it.
No, that's how he had always wanted it....
At exactly midnight, Jeongguk took his drink and whispered to the night with a smile.
"Happy birthday...and happy new year my Tae..."
Before he took a sip, just a small sip and not even finishing his cup, and cut a slice of cake to eat it while fireworks erupted in the distance.
Jeongguk was far from the city so he couldn't hear the noise of celebration but he could almost picture it with people smiling and laughing, families cheering loudly, couples embracing and kissing for a new year filled with good luck for their future lives together. Yes, he could almost hear it...
...after all, he had always been the one to drag them to the city for a huge celebration, while Taehyung had always wanted a small nice dinner just the two of them in their villa with just a little bit of light enough so they wouldn't bump into furniture and make a mess.
He sighed, willing his heart not to break once more at the thought of another thing that Taehyung had always wanted but had been denied because he, Jeongguk, had been an ass about it.
Like a simple dinner and not extravagant parties. A simple stroll in the park instead of shopping sprees in the biggest malls. A little cake and drink instead of huge feasts from the finest chefs in Seoul. Cuddles on the sofa in the dim light instead of dinners at five star restaurants in front of everybody.
And loving each other with the cover of darkness instead of flaunting it in everyone's faces in broad daylight.
Now that he wasn't here anymore...Jeongguk regretted not giving him those simple things he always wanted.
How he missed him....how he missed his lovely husband...
They had always been together. From their days in highschool, to the duration of college, and finally getting married ten years ago as they had always been destined to. Their love had always been so strong, so beautiful, so sweet: they were the high-school sweethearts that made it to college and survived college life's ups and downs after all. They were that cute couple who did everything together, who ate together everyday through their internships and shopped together for their house while they were not even engaged yet. They were that couple that fed each other ice-cream and smeared the rest of it over each other's nose. They were that couple that kissed and made out every possible occasion behind closed doors and in confined spaces. They were that couple that went to job interviews together and supported each other unconditionally. They were that couple, "the" couple for everyone who had encountered them.
Taehyung had wanted a little wedding and a black wedding dress with red roses scattered on the altar and their best friends being their witnesses. He had wanted a homemade buffet and a reception in the garden of their beautiful secluded villa. He wanted a honeymoon in the chalet Jeongguk owned in a nice quiet village in Switzerland.
Instead, Jeongguk wanted to display his wealth and to spoil his cute "wifey" as he called the lovely cute male: he bought a very beautiful princess gown with white lace and real crystals embroidered in the hem, a lacy white veil trailing on the floor and held by two bridesmaids. They had a ceremony in the biggest church in Seoul with lots of guests from Jeongguk and Taehyung's work and circle of friends. They had a reception in a seven star palace in the second penthouse where the party involved rare ingredients and delicious delicacies with the most expensive champagne.
But he wanted to make Taehyung happy and offered him a honeymoon beyond what the delicate feminine male expected: he went with his wishes and they flew to the USA, in a nice little town in West Virginia around a beautiful lake.
A town called Silent Hill.
And the expression on the lovely male's face when he saw the little quiet town had been priceless, real euphoria sparkling in his beautiful blue eyes and sweet melodic giggles filled the days they spent there, in a small hotel called Lake View Hotel. It wasn't what Jeongguk was used to, no fancy malls or big five stars hotels and restaurants. Instead it was a lovely homey hotel and a quiet lake, little shops with smiling villagers and exciting old stories about the town's origins and folklore that made Taehyung's whole face sparkle in delight and wonder, sitting for hours with the shopkeepers to ask for more stories, for more adventures, to play with the village kids and to drag Jeongguk through the streets to visit every corner of the town.
And at night, they would go back to their room in the hotel, sit in front of the windows and cuddle while watching the day morph into night, Taehyung's favorite time. The beautiful male would sit on his husband's lap and would watch the stars, would kiss him under the moonlight and would surrender himself to him in the darkness of the calm and lovely night.
How many times had they made love in that little hotel room? How many times had they kissed in front of that small window overlooking Toluca Lake? How many times had Taehyung whispered "I love you" in the dark of the night, the light of stars reflected in his blue eyes? How many times had Jeongguk held him while they walked the park and kissed him while they explored the shops and streets of Silent Hill?
How many times had that town been witness to their love?
They had stayed for an entire month, Taehyung never got tired of the seemingly quiet town, finding new adventures everyday, hearing a new story everyday, dragging Jeongguk to explore an undiscovered part of the town everyday.
They returned to Seoul with Taehyung regretting he couldn't stay longer in the lovely town that felt like home to him.
And he had whispered to Jeongguk how much he was thankful, "it was the best honeymoon I could dream of Gukkie", with a huge smile and a passionate kiss.
For the next year, they had returned twice to Silent Hill, once during winter and once during summer. And Taehyung's best days were in that town, within the same room they had used for their honeymoon. Jeongguk can still remember with outstanding detail every single expression the beautiful blue eyed omega had made during their time in Silent Hill. He can still remember how his lovely "wifey" had smiled and laughed and teased him and ran away from his tickle attacks...
...and how he had moaned, had screamed, had arched off the bed and had sobbed in pleasure while having the most erotic expression everytime they made love in Silent Hill....
Jeongguk had thought...that their life was shaping up to be perfect, that their story had just started for real, that he could always have the delicate angel tucked against his side, that he will always protect him and provide the best for him and spoil him and love him repeatedly.
That second year to fourth of their married life had been so perfect, so beautiful. And Taehyung had been so beautiful, so vibrant with life, so eager to be happy. He had already made so many changes in Jeongguk's villa, one that they bought after the beauty had expressed his desire to live away from the city where he can see the stars every night and have a garden. A villa Jeongguk bought just for the sake of his lover's beautiful blue eyes sparkling in happiness as he would hum a tune while tending to the garden every night, with the stars and the moon as the sole source of light, and with him Jeongguk watching his delicate angel while he smoked next to the pool.
Taehyung had decorated the house with everything making it a home: with rugs and fluffy blankets, with beautiful roses and antique lamps he found at cheap markets, with paintings he made himself of the night sky and the city sceneries at night under the stars, with dark wood and black velvet curtains and gray potteries placed on the bookshelves he filled with heavy reading materials he loved so much.
And right when life seemed amazing to the couple, right when Jeongguk's life was so perfect, Taehyung fell ill.
It wasn't something he couldn't control, Jeongguk was sure his fortune was more than enough to get the beauty every best doctor in the world. The raven haired man spared no effort to get only the best for his lover.
But Taehyung only wanted to go back to Silent Hill, "to be happy one last time with you Gukkie"...
And Jeongguk had been stubborn and refused, getting Taehyung admitted into the best clinic to get the best treatment and to heal. The doctors were powerless, no one knew why the beautiful angel was withering away everyday, getting thinner, getting weaker. The doctors were having multiple opinions, none were satisfying for the frantic Jeongguk who was pulling his hair every time he visits and sees his lover smiling but getting worse everyday.
Lung dysfunction. Cancer. Heart failure. Kidney failure. Lupus. Eating disorder. Bone Marrow cancer. Glioblastoma. Severe stomach infection. Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Severe depression. Each doctor had an opinion and no one was agreeing with the other, leaving Jeongguk helpless.
Taehyung fought for his health for an entire year, wishing to stay at their home instead of the clinic. Jeongguk tried everything, wanting to make his husband's daily life easier and better, wanting to make him happier while sick and weak. He thought he could make it. He thought his care would help the angel get better and win against this sickness eating him away. He thought he could win, they could win together and triumph and get back to their perfect life.
He left one day to go to work, seeing Taehyung getting better and promised he'll be back in two hours at most, and will bring him the chinese dumplings he was craving. Taehyung had been so serene that day, had been so happy that day, had been smiling so brightly that day and had even left his bed and walked around, had even sat to paint and tended to his garden, had even insisted on cooking his delicious stew for lunch. Jeongguk had left with a lighter heart and a huge smile, believing his lover was winning against this illness.
And when he got back he found the house empty.
Everything was left as it was, nothing missing apart from Taehyung. He went crazy, thinking something bad had happened to his lover and had searched the entire house and the basement, getting out of the villa and screaming his husband's name around their huge garden and the outskirts of the forest nearby. Exactly twenty minutes later, he got a call from the clinic.
His husband had an attack and had barely collected his strength to call for an ambulance, and he was in bad shape.
Jeongguk didn't even finish the call and jumped into his car and sped like a madman to the clinic.
When he got there, all that welcomed him was a cold, empty bed, and the muttered condolences of the doctors.
His angel had lost the battle against illness, he had passed without leaving the chance for Jeongguk to say goodbye.
He hadn't suffered at least. That's what the doctors had informed the shocked man.
He wasn't allowed to see the body, the doctors were afraid the sight would break the man further. And in all honesty...Jeongguk was grateful they had insisted he won't. Because had he seen his lover so cold and unmoving, he would've really gone mad.
Funerals were held in strict intimacy, only their closest circle of friends present, no one else knew.
Jeongguk didn't stop wearing his ring, Taehyung's ring had been the only thing he got from the doctors, and was now in a small silver chain around his neck that he never took off. At work, everyone still believed the ravenette was still living the perfect life and Jeongguk did nothing to make them think otherwise because he still wanted to believe Taehyung was still with him everyday, watching over him so closely and protecting him from harm.
That's why he could still smile albeit sadly, and wasn't crazy and broken despite the huge gap Taehyung had left in his heart when he left this world.
He had changed his lifestyle, preferring solitude and simple calm gatherings with his best friends instead of lavish dinners and wealthy travels. He kept the villa in the same layout and setting that Taehyung had kept, keeping the house clean and dusting the books and paintings Taehyung had left. He kept the lovely angel's clothes, accessories, jewelry and make up as they had been when he had been alive. He even kept the painting studio the same, only dusting it once every two weeks to not damage the art pieces.
He took to using only the barest of lights just like his lover did. He took to wearing dark clothes just like his lover liked. He took to tending to the garden instead of drinking just like his lover did. And he threw away all his wine collection because Taehyung had always said he never liked alcohol. He took to staying in the darkness every night to watch the stars just like his Tae did. He had a small ritual of waking up before sunrise to watch the last threads of darkness vanish slowly, and sat everyday by their bedroom window to watch sunset and appreciate the first threads of darkness settle over the city.
And every year for the past five years, he celebrated Taehyung's birthday just like the angel had always wanted: in their villa, with just a small chocolate and strawberry cake and a glass of alcohol because, as he used to say, "it's ok to drink just once if it's in celebration".
December 31st is a day of celebration and mourning to him, albeit he kept Taehyung proud by smiling and not crying, knowing that's what he would have wanted. December 31st is New year's eve, and his Angel's birthday....
....and the day he passed away too...
Jeongguk finished his whiskey and smiled brightly at the dying fireworks, finishing his slice of cake. Tomorrow he will visit his angel's grave and give him a beautiful bouquet of red roses just like he loves them. The gift he bought him will find its place in the drawer in the nightstand table by the side of the bed that Taehyung liked, the one where he could see the night sky from the bedroom. Jeongguk made a habit of buying a gift for the occasion as if his lover was still there to enjoy them. He bought handmade gifts, small but meaningful instead of the extravagant jewelry and stuff he used to buy for him during their life together.
He cleaned up, placing the cake in the fridge and washing the dishes before taking a bath and going to bed,facing the window panel.
He smiled at the dark sky and muttered, just like he did every night before sleeping.
"I love you Tae, sleep well my angel..."
***