My sister and I don't necessarily have a bad relationship. We just never talk. The only time we would talk is on birthdays and holidays and that's because we are both always so busy. I love her, but my stepfather doesn't and that meant I wasn't allowed to see her. I didn't want her seeing what I lived through.
She only lives 30 minutes away from the city so it wasn't a long drive from the party to her place, but I knew what she would try to do. She would try to get me to live with her and since I don't have a car, well, I don't exactly want to do that.
Sophia was just trying to make sure that I was okay. There was no doubt in my mind that Ryan had told her about the night she had seen my reaction to seeing my stepfather. They both didn't understand my situation and it sort of annoyed me that they were trying to solve something that wasn't even really a problem. He was nothing I couldn't handle. They just needed to leave me alone.
As I stood at the door of my sister's house, I had the urge to turn and run, but obviously that was not an option when the door slowly opened.
There she was. My amazing sister, Athena, in all of her glory. It was late, about midnight or so if I had to guess, but surprisingly she didn't look like she had been in bed. Her long brown/red hair was down and perfectly not frizzy. She had on dark blue jeans with a black leather jacket and a white crewneck t-shirt under that. Her green eyes looked both Sophia and me up and down slowly before she smiled.
She grabbed onto my shoulder and pulled me into a tight hug. "Oh my God. Is it really you? It's been months."
I hugged her back and had to hold back the feeling of needing to cry so that I could respond very quietly, "It's me, Athena." I really had to focus hard on not slurring any of my words. She would hear it and scold me for drinking too much, especially since she knew what I was like before mom died and I was drinking.
This time was very different though. I didn't have the urge to jump anyone's bones, so to speak. My body count was much higher than I liked to admit at the age of 21 because of all of the drunken nights I've had at this college. Since Mom died, I have steered clear of alcohol and drugs, which meant no more sex. No more... meaningless sex... anyway.
I would have totally let Ryan fuck me tonight, if-
Wait, what? No.
Athena pulled me inside, but stopped to listen to whatever Sophia was whispering into her ear. I hated that people kept talking about me like I wasn't even here to see them doing it. I wonder what she could even be telling her right now. Was it about my stepfather or Chase?
Flip a coin, Art. Both were probably equally as bad at this point.
In my opinion, my sister didn't have a right to any of my personal life. She lost that right when she moved out of Mom's house and left me alone with that asshole at home. Well, she left before our mother even got sick and that was before our stepfather became an asshole.
Athena nodded to Sophia and gave her a light smile before waving her goodbyes and closing the door with me inside. Her house was pretty dark on the inside. I could barely make out old pictures hanging on the walls and dark furniture in the center of the living room. I didn't know what I was doing here, but it felt safer than home right now.
My sister wasn't one to show affection. I remember that much. So it kind of took me back when she hugged me a second time and ran her fingers through my hair while I just stood there awkwardly against her.
"You can stay here as long as you need, Sis."
For a moment, I definitely considered just staying here. Live here like she wanted me to, but I had school most days, and the art studio thing after that, and work. I just didn't see me staying here as a good idea.
Athena led me upstairs, holding onto my arm the entire way to make sure I didn't fall. Then she took me into the first room on the left and I paused when she flipped on the light. I just had forgotten how much this room looked like my room from home. The same color coordination, similar band posters, and the set up was exactly like home. The bed was in the far left corner, dresser in the right corner, an art desk against the right wall with a set of plastic drawers next to it filled with all sorts of art supplies. At least this is what my room looked like at home before mom died. Now it was just dark and empty and depressing.
When mom died, at home, I ripped all of the posters to shreds, leaving the corners of them stuck to the walls where they had been taped up. The mural I had been painting on one wall of my room? I threw a whole cup of black paint at it and watched it run down until it touched the floor, covering a majority of my work so that I wouldn't have to look at it. That room was a mess, but this one brought back too many memories.
I tried to stay relaxed and just plopped right down in bed, covering up and closing my eyes. I didn't want to see any more of this room than I had to. I would probably wake up in the middle of the night and destroy this one too, but I was determined to stay asleep so that I wouldn't do that. Hopefully the alcohol would help.
"Sophia says you haven't been sleeping. Is that true?" My sister asked as she slowly sat on the edge of my bed.
"Depends on who you ask," I mumbled, pulling the blankets over my head and turning onto my side. "If you ask my psychology professor, he would say I have been. In fact, he would say that I sleep all of the time. If you ask my biology professor, she would say I sleep half of the time, buuuut I still do my work sooo she doesn't care. And if you ask-"
She interrupted me with a glare and a slight voice raise. It reminded me of Mother when she looked at me like that. Athena was basically like her twin... Maybe that's another reason I stayed away from her as often as I did. It just... Hurt too much to admit that I hated seeing her and picturing our dead mother. "I'm asking you, Artemis Calliope Kelley."
Ooo She used my middle name.. Ouch. That meant she definitely wasn't playing around with me tonight. Though I wasn't sure why she was asking if I had been sleeping or not. There had to be a much bigger, underlying reason for her to ask.
I still was very unsure whether she was asking about Chase or my stepfather, but it had to of been one of those. I just didn't want to choose the wrong option. That would only make her more mad to hear that there was more going on in my life than just one bad thing. Things she would have wanted me to tell her as soon as they became a problem in my every day life. In fact, there were half a dozen horrible things that went on in my brain on a daily. I would never tell her that, though. I wouldn't tell anyone that.
It was none of their business anyway. I'm handling it.
"Don't start acting like our mother now, Athena," I growled a bit. Like I said, the fact that she looked like Mom kind of made me angry. "You have been out of the picture long before her funeral and you never gave a damn about me or what was going on at home after she died. It's not my fault that our stepfather beats on my bedroom door every single night so hard that it shakes the entire house. It's not my fault that he rips me up out of the safety of my covers to scream in my face and tell me how fucking worthless I am most days. It just isn't my fault, Athena."
She stared at me with wide eyes for a moment as tears slowly started to fill them. My heart sank in my chest as I watched her. Yelling all of that at her definitely released a lot of pressure inside of me, but it hurt her in the process. I felt pretty bad. I slowly sat up, taking one of her hands gently in mine as I sighed.
And that's when I told her everything I have been dealing with for the past three months. Everything from our stepfather to Chase to the budget cuts at school. Just anything and everything that had caused me some sort of pain or stress over the little bit of time came pouring out of my mouth like a flashflood during a strong storm. The words just never stopped coming as she listened intently to every one without missing a single thing.
I could see it on her face. She wanted to apologize for being gone and not checking on me, but I think she lowkey knew why I never reached out to her either. It was just a lot for me to tell her and a lot for her to take off of my shoulders. I just didn't want to be a burden.
This night right here. This is the closest I have felt to Athena in my entire life. I was so relieved to get it all out.
For once, I fell asleep without a single heavy weight on my chest. I felt free.
- - -
When Monday rolled around, I was just hoping everyone would forget about the fact that Chase almost... Well.. You know. I did end up calling my boss yesterday to tell her that I definitely was not coming in this week. I didn't explain why, but I wasn't one to call out, so she probably just figured it was for good reason.
And it was.
As I was getting ready for school, I heard my sister's voice downstairs, talking to someone indistinctly at the front door. I tried to listen, but that was impossible with how hushed they seemed to be making the conversation. Then I heard my name. Artemis. Only one person alive still called me by my full first name unless they were mad at me. She never used my nickname. I wonder if that was on purpose.
Ryan?
"Art, your friend is here to pick you up!" Athena called from downstairs and I kind of hesitated.
When I had guessed that it was Ryan, I started to hurry up, quickly fixing my hair and putting on light makeup. Just a bit of foundation and some mascara, nothing too much. Then I grabbed my stuff and ran down the stairs. I had been staring at my feet when I ran down so when I reached the bottom, I ran right into Ryan... Right into her... Literally. Again....
She had been standing at the bottom of the stairs while she waited so when I came barreling down, my body collided with hers. Why was I so clumsy?
That beautiful little laugh escaped past her lips as I looked up at her and started blushing. Her hands were gently on my elbows from where she kind of instinctively grabbed me and our bodies were pressed right against each other.
"U... Um... Hey.." I whispered, looking right into those amazing eyes.
"Hey," she whispered back as she let go of me and took a step backward. "Sorry. I would have texted you, but um... I don't have your number. Sophia gave me the address to come get you." I had noticed the fact that her and my sister were wearing almost the exact same outfit. Black pants, white crewneck t-shirts, and black leather jackets, but I tried not to read too much into this huge coincidence.
I slowly nodded and looked to my sister. "I'll see you later, okay?"
After the 36 hours over at Athena's, I finally agreed to come live with her, or at least stay with her for a while. I needed space from everything going on at home and at school. Besides, Athena really really wanted me to stay with her.
I just left it at that, going outside with Ryan, but pausing when I saw what she was driving today. Usually it was an old, goldish color four-door car, but today? It was far from that.
A black Suzuki motorcycle with blue accents was sitting in the driveway. I only knew what kind it was because the brand was plastered on the side of it. There was a black motorcycle helmet sitting on top of it and she took it, holding it out to me.
Usually I would jump at the chance to hang out with Ryan for 30 whole minutes until we got to school, but... This? This was definitely not something I was used to. I had never even ridden a motorcycle before. I mean, I saw them as death traps. But here I was, taking this helmet from the beautiful girl and staring at the bike.
She must had seen the fear in my eyes because she lightly laughed while watching me. "You can trust me, Artemis." She gave a light smile, a gleam of hope in her eyes for once, then she helped me clip the helmet strap tightly under my chin. Her touch under my chin sent shiver down my spine and heat rush to my cheeks. Luckily the helmet hid any emotion I had on my face.
As she mounted her bike, I just watched her. I definitely was scared. Who wouldn't be scared in my position?
A lot of people, Art.
I sighed and pushed my thoughts away. Instead, I focused on the fast that her helmet smelled exactly like her. That sweet aroma filled my nose as I lightly smiled to myself, feeling my blood start to rush. Whether it was from fear or excitement, I wasn't sure. I had no idea what I was doing, but I couldn't back out now as I climbed onto the bike behind her. I knew I needed to hold on, so I slowly placed my hands on her sides, gripping onto her shirt softly, hoping it didn't make her uncomfortable.
She was different from other girls. That much was clear. I didn't know what could set her off or trigger her. I just knew that the look in her eyes she had when something did set her off was something that I wanted to avoid doing again.
To my surprise, I felt her hands lightly grab onto my wrists and she pulled my arms around her waist. "You're going to want to hold on a little better than that," she laughed a little while revving her engine to life.
I clenched my jaw as I felt my hands start to clam up out of what I assumed to be nervousness from being so close to Ryan at this moment. I forced myself to tighten my arms around her waist as I felt her firm stomach under my hands. Feeling her body tighten up under my touch let me know that I wasn't the only one nervous about being this close.
Being pressed up against her strong back only reminded me of how in shape she really was. Images of her body in nothing but those spandex shorts and sports-bra with that solid colored, unzipped hoodie pulled on over her arms, hanging off her shoulders. I remembered that day vividly.
Focus...
We took off down the street as the wind rushed past us. For a good few minutes, I had my eyes tightly closed, but I eventually opened them to look around at all of the cars zooming past on the other side of the road.. It was pretty intense and I couldn't help but tighten up around Ryan's waist which only made her tense up more as well.
By the time we got to the school, I had sort of relaxed, but not completely. My hands were shaking when I finally let go of Ryan. As I was getting off of her bike with her, I took off the helmet and turned to hand it to her. "Thanks for picking me up. You really didn't have to."
"It was nothing, really. I actually wanted to ask you something. Well, Jason wanted me to ask you something, but it's totally cool if you don't want to," She said it all kind of at a fast pace like she was nervous as she took the helmet from me. I saw just a hint of blush on her cheeks as she looked into my eyes.
I found it cute how nervous she seemed to be getting. There was a hopeful gleam in her eyes and I really hoped that she was going to ask me out on a date or something, but I couldn't be sure. God knew that I was way too scared to ask her myself. She was too intimidating sometimes. In my opinion, she was way out of my league.
She finally continued after a minute of watching me, "Would you want to-?"
When my phone began to ring, I sighed. I really wanted to ignore it and hear the rest of Ryan's question, but her attention was pulled to the ringing as well so she paused.
Dammit. Remind me to turn off my ringer next time I'm with her.
Ryan smiled at me politely when I chose to silence it and ignore the call, giving her my full attention again. But... Instead of asking, she held out a ticket to an art gallery that I actually loved to go to. Well, the last time I went was last year, but I'm sure it would be fine.
I probably looked like a smiling idiot right about now as I slowly took the ticket and looked over it. "This Friday?"
She gave a brief nod and looked around like she was shutting down her emotions once again. Maybe she had realized how open she was becoming with me. "Yeah. Jason can't go and... You like art and I like y-" she froze, biting her lip hard then shaking her head. "Well, yeah. So.."
I smiled more and nodded, only guessing that she was actually going to say that she liked me. That was something my heart almost jumped out of my chest for. "Heh, uh... Yeah. Yeah, I would love to go. Thank you, Ryan."
"I really need to get to class, but um... I'll text you about it later?" She gave a smile and started to walk off, but turned back to me with a little laugh. "Right. I... Don't have your number."
A little laugh came from me as I slowly stepped over to her and took the phone that she held out to me, typing in my number, and putting the name in as Artemis K.
She smiled as she watched me and for a moment it seemed like a real, genuine smile. It made my heart sort of flutter as I looked up at her.
"Well um... Thanks," She said as she took her phone back and put it away, laughing softly. "Now I will text you later."
Ryan walked off to her first class of the day and I walked off to mine. Who knew what Friday night held for us. Hopefully I wouldn't be a blabbering, nervous idiot all night. I guess we will see.