"I want to rest," I whispered, tiredness weighing heavy on me at the revelation. In response, he hugged me tighter.
What is wrong with this dude? It's this how people rest here?
I tugged out of his embrace to look at him keenly. He was handsome, like really handsome, that's why 'my' sister Verbena was ready to kill me for him. Bitch.
An image of my face came to my mind. To be honest, I didn't look at ugly as projected. I just got some real nasty pimples on my cheeks, forehead and chin. And I was really tanned- but the ordinary beautiful tanning though. The tan we are talking about looks skin crawling, just the face though. My body wasn't tanned.
And I had dark red hair.
I was a blonde in my past life. In my Hollie life if I may. Saying past life makes me want to shiver at the thought my body might be lifeless under some sons of cum.
Ahhh, I had failed terribly. So terrible that I had a really ugly death.
I as Astoria have had my share of the ugly world. She was always treated like a dog. My own room is smaller than that of a servant apparently. Her own sisters attempted to murder her, giving me an opportunity to come here.
I honestly don't know if God wanted me to make up for what I couldn't. Like a second chance or something. But I think the one in charge of this transmigration thingy was drunk. I clearly failed terribly. What could possibly make them think I could handle a worse case?
As Hollie, I hated only one person, my uncle. I still hate him that I could feel my veins rushing with the hate. My hate for him was greater than anything, even my love for my parents if I may say. So I don't really think I could let go of it that easy.
But as Astoria, I had many people up my throat. From my father to the whole Kingdom. Why? Because I was really unfortunate. I had even a princess on my neck. Not exactly, but Verbena is friends with the Grand Dukes daughter, Selyse, who was friends with Princess Irri.
To put it in simple terms, Verbena and Sena have really important persons as their friends, who helped them in getting rid of me in the lake.
Princess Irri.
Grand Dukes daughter, lady Selyse.
Lady Verbena.
Lady Sena.
All of them bullied her because she was ugly. Especially the one who frequented to their house, Lady Selyse, who by the way is the number one beauty of the Kingdom. You see this era people are really full of bullshit.
That is why Astoria is more unfortunate compared to Hollie. Hollie lived in an era that people minded their own business, no female belittling. No judging of a lady didn't want to get married, but Astoria, her fate was not clear. She couldn't see herself getting married in the near future because of her appearance.
Atleast that is what she thought until Calix appeared. Verbena's crush. That made Verbena go mad. Like major mad.
"You are shivering."
Calix who was my last line of thoughts snapped me out of it. I suddenly realised I was. My clothes clung onto my body, all wet. I felt the cold to my bones.
"How did you know I was here?" I croaked, ignoring the pain up my throat. Why do I keep on talking?
"I had a person keep an eye on anyone out to hurt you, I was told you were forced into a carriage by Lady Verbena and Lady Selyse to the lake. I had rushed here, only to find you already unconscious."
I stared at him keenly, this time it's because was not sure how to feel about him. For all I know, Astoria avoided him like a plague to avoid her own doom. For all I know, he never listened to her plead for him to let her go. He thought of she accepted him, he would make her life heaven.
"Do you love me?" I question. He looked at me intensely, I took it all in, waiting for his response.
"Do you really not remember me?"
I would have nodded, but I didn't. I just stared at him blankly. "I remember telling you to back off, Calix," I didn't want to blame him for her fate, but maybe, just maybe, if he listened and stayed away from her she wouldn't have been drowned and I wouldn't be here. I would be somewhere in hell maybe. But I have to live again, because of him!
"I love you," he said, his words gentle and sincere. "I can't bare to let you go," he whispered sadly and I felt pitiful for him. What's done is done anyways, and I am alive again, much to my disdain.
"I don't remember, I remember vaguely. And it hurts to try to remember more," I say with a sigh. How should I be treating this guy? His loved one is dead, in capital letters. "Why don't you just take me home?"
"Let's go to my home," he suggested, probably scared of what might happen to me if I left his sight.
"I may not remember alot, but I remember that Arch Duchess doesn't like me," I say casually, trying to lighten the mood. He was still hesitant. "My throat hurts as I speak," I wanted to not speak again because it really hurt. It felt rough, but atleast my head was not that annoying anymore.
"Let's go," he said, taking me by my wrist and leading me out of the bushes and away from the lake.
The ride on the carriage, that I certainly did not enjoy, was something that was quite silent. I didn't even look at Calix even once. My mind was thinking about the people that would be waiting for me at home. My father, his wife and his two daughters.... and also the blind Espen.
Espen had always been out of sight, Sena had always been the one following father around since she will take on his title later on. And Verbena is always thinking about how to woo the Calix who just told me that he loved me.
You may find it weird that I am calling them father and siblings, but it's not me, it's my conscience. It felt as if they really are my family and I was just dreaming about my Hollie self. It felt as if Astoria had always been me and that Hollie was a dream of me.
I sighed deeply, thinking of my new life. I am now someone else, and I need to get Astoria and I to a good life eventually. That is if I am willing. What I know is that I am not ready to fight with her family for stupid reasons, or any reasons at all. I don't want to struggle for revenge anymore. I just don't want to live again.
Is that something hard to ask for? I just don't want it, any of this.
"We are here," Calix said, cutting me short. I didn't even look at him as I just climbed out of the carriage. I was aching everywhere but what to do? All I could hope for is that it could hurt me to death but something told me it won't be that easy.
I climbed up to my room and changed my wet clothes. I had sneaked in since I knew there might be trouble if I show myself openly.
And I am too tired for this.