Son of a bitch. Fuck. FUCK! I KNEW I was paranoid for a reason. She was watching us the whole time. I tried to formulate a response, but nothing came out.
"Adam… Tell her she's wrong." May's ever-weakening voice piped up.
I looked at her, my face slowly turning sadder. She cleared her throat. "Tell her she's wrong, Adam."
I couldn't do it. She was taking it completely out of context, but I simply couldn't do it. I couldn't say she was wrong.
I could see May's eyes welling up. "Please, Adam?" She begged. "You're not that kind of guy, right?"
Megan immediately went over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay." she comforted her. "You didn't know. I just figured you should know before anything else might happen."
"Fuck you!" I yelled at Megan. "You've turned her against me. You've taken everything out of context."
"So you admit it's true!" Megan spat back.
May slowly looked up at me. "Adam…. I just shared my first kiss with you. That's something really special to me. Now I find out it's worth nothing to you. That I'm worth nothing to you. You ruined my first kiss."
"May, you're worth a lot to me! I swear!" I protested. "You're special to me!"
"Am I?" She asked, her sadness turning into anger. "I thought you loved me. I thought you loved me for me. But no, I'm just another notch in your bedpost." Convincing herself Megan was right, she got angrier and angrier until she bolted forward and pushed me into the wall, suddenly very angry at me. I was able to steady myself against the wall, but May looked like she wasn't done. "Damn you, Adam Watson!" she yelled as she bolted forwards again. "Damn you to hell!"
"Woah, woah, woah!" A random grade 12 guy with long hair almost covering his face stepped forward, grabbing May by the shoulders and pulling him back. "No need for that stuff in this school. Keep it together, you two." He turned to May. "I don't know who this guy is, but he's not worth it. Just calm down, go to the washroom if you need to, to freshen up or something. Classes start soon." May threw herself from his grip as she stomped away. The grade 12 approached me. "What's the story?"
"A lot of stuff. Out of context. Private stuff." I simply answered, barely able to process what just happened myself.
The senior nodded. "Alright, I get you." He simply said. He actually looked kind of familiar, but I couldn't place where I last saw him. "I don't know what you did, but watch yourself." He cautioned me as he walked away, leaving Megan, myself, and the small crowd we managed to gather.
With her still staring at me, I gathered my stuff together and pushed past Megan to get to my next class. I stopped and turned back to her to see she was still facing me. "What is wrong with you?!" I angrily asked her.
She almost looked sorry, but held her ground. "I said nothing but the truth." She simply said. "You used Nicole for intercourse, you're using my feelings for intercourse. You would have done the same for May too. You think you care, but-"
I didn't want to listen anymore. With her in mid-sentence, I stomped away, not unlike how May herself did. Megan was wrong, and rash, and downright mean. And it cost me my dream girl.
The only thing I felt was anger at Megan until I remembered something May had said. I had ruined her first kiss. Just a few months ago, I was mad as hell at Nicole for basically the same reason, and this situation was much bigger. Of course May was angry with me.
God dammit, I ruined May's first kiss. I understood what that felt like. No wonder she was so angry with me. I was fooling around with multiple girls, and even though Megan blowing me wasn't even my fault, I managed to screw up everything.
How? I wasn't even THAT much of a dick… The universe just must hate me, I reasoned with myself. If Megan wasn't there at lunch… Or if Megan just kept her feelings to herself… Or if she hadn't even blown me when I told her no! It was Megan's fault, really.
***
The last two classes went by awkwardly as hell. I wouldn't dare look at May in either class, which was a real challenge in drama class. I managed to do it, but I was caught in this weird state between self-blame and anger towards Megan. I had no clue who to be angry at anymore, all I knew was that I was angry. And sad. Eugh… Everything was screwed up, and it all came from nothing. How did everything turn to shit so fast?
At least I still had Nicole. No matter what, I wouldn't lose Nicole. Hell, I could even tell her about the whole thing and she'd know just what to say. I was so grateful, more grateful ever at that moment, to have Nicole. I was truly blessed to know that she was still there for me, and wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon.
***
After school, Nicole was waiting outside the weights room for me. When she saw me, she cheerfully waved.
"Hey squirt! How was your day?" She asked me chipperly as she opened the door to the empty weights room and flicked on the light.
"Well-"
"I'm just kidding, I don't care." She told me with a wink. I got in and threw my stuff down. God, how was I going to tell her?
When she closed the door, meaning just the two of us were in there, her mood visibly shifted. Suddenly, she was a lot less chipper. Almost… Worried. Conflicted? I couldn't tell.
"You okay?" I said shakily as she eyed the floor.
She looked up at me with a somewhat glazed expression. "Hm? Oh, yeah, sorry. Long day. A lot on my mind." She reached into her bag and pulled out the CD I got her for Christmas. "I figure some music might help cool the nerves, huh?" She gave me a small smile as she walked over to the CD player in the weights room and popped in the CD. After she pressed play, Poison Arrow by ABC filled the room.
"Ready to start lifting?" She asked me. "If you wanna do the set, I'll spot you."
"Actually…" I began slowly, not quite knowing how to form the sentences I wanted to say. "Actually, before we start, I've got some news."
"Uh oh." She said, only half playfully. "Do you have news or do you have news?"
"…What does that even mean?" I asked her.
"Never mind." She said dismissively. "Actually… I've got some news too."
I definitely needed that distraction. Hopefully, she would forget I even said I had news. I so desperately wanted to tell her, yet at the same time, I didn't know how I would phrase it. I had never been such a complicated mess of negative emotions in my life, and while I wanted to expel them all, I also wanted to keep them bottled up… I don't know why. Perhaps in fear that they would unleash something awful, or make her sad, or start something bad… well, worse.
"Oh, okay." I said, a little too eagerly. "You want to go first?"
"Sure." She shrugged, becoming noticeably more uncomfortable. "You sure you wanna hear it?"
I nodded. "You help me with all of my problems. I might as well at least listen to yours."
She smiled at me. "Thanks, squirt." She said warmly. "Well… I… uh…" she started fiddling with her hands.
I'd seen Nicole nervous before, but never this nervous. Whatever this was, it sure was causing a battle in her mind. "C'mon, Nicole." I humorously said. "You were the one to teach me to just man up and say it."
Nicole nodded seriously and cleared her throat nervously. "Well… The thing is…" She paused to take in a breath. "Today, a big thing finally happened. And I dunno how to feel about it."
"What happened, Nicole?" I asked, suddenly concerned. Was she hurt? Was she okay?
"Phil kissed me."