Chapter 2 : A Lost Predator
(A few months later)
The cadets of the 104th were training in single combat, a subject in which Amos was the undisputed expert and teacher.
Today's student was Jean Kirstein, who had recently learned that it was better to learn how to fight if he wanted to join the MPs. He had therefore, like many, asked Nox for help. But unlike the others, the native of Trost had overcome the first torture sessions to focus on his progress, and Amos was quite satisfied with this student.
"Excellent flexibility, Jean!" the tall blond complimented, dodging a roundhouse kick aimed at his head.
Kirstein smirked and threw a series of quick punches that were all blocked without difficulty, the young man grew frustrated."
"I'll lend a punch on you one day or the other," he swore, stepping back.
"If you trained more than you talked, you'd already done it," the 'Advisor' replied, rolling his eyes.
As the native of Trost went on the attack, Amos took advantage of the latter's predictable moves to take stock of his students.
So far, he had trained Jean, Sasha, Connie and Marco. Anyone who wanted to join the Military Police and for whom martial arts would be an asset. Nevertheless, Nox was disappointed. It was Mikasa that he wanted to train, indeed, the oriental girl relied too much on her hereditary attribute and therefore did not see the point of improving in this area. Especially since she had defeated everyone she had faced so far.
The best way to get her attention was obviously Eren, but...
Jaeger would rather train with Annie Leonhart than anyone else, and Amos had no trouble understanding why.
The second smallest girl after Christa had caught the eye of the native of Shinganshina, to the Mikasa's chagrin, who sometimes, casted cold glances at the duo.
"Maybe this is the opportunity I need," Amos thought. "First Eren, then Mikasa."
He took a step back to dodge Jean's last attack, and put an arm behind his back before putting his guard back up. At that, Kirstein's facial features twisted into a vexed grimace.
"Are you kidding me?" he growled too loudly, which caught the attention of the other cadets.
Including Eren's.
"You are too arrogant," Amos replied, shaking his head, "you need to learn humility."
With that, he motioned for Jean to come over and face him, he almost smiled when he noticed Jaeger's quizzical gaze out of the corner of his eye. What he didn't notice, however, was Annie's interest in his little staging.
Kirstein hesitated, not condescending enough to realize he'd gotten himself into a pretty mess by voicing his displeasure. Now that almost everyone was watching him, he couldn't back down. So he took a stance, controlled his breathing, and attacked the one who would be his executioner.
Amos parried and dodged the native of Trost's attacks with the precision and speed of a martial arts master. He let the show go on for a moment so that everyone could enjoy it, then he ended the confrontation by sweeping Kirstein's legs, who fell heavily on his buttocks.
"Fuck!" the latter exclaimed as a few bursts of laughter rang out from the ranks of the cadets. "Was that really fucking necessary?"
Amos shrugged as he helped his apprentice to his feet.
"We all have to go through this," he explained smiling before taking a look among their spectators, "isn't that right Reiner?"
This sentence immediately revived the memory of the humiliation that Braun had suffered from the hands of Annie, embarrassed, he rubbed the back of his head.
"Okay," Amos said aloud, clapping his hands, "get back to training before Shadis yells at us."
With these words, the cadets respected the natural authority of the tall bond and dispersed almost immediately. Even Eren instantly complied with his instructions, a reaction that was no doubt explained by the admiration and respect perfectly readable in his eyes. For his part, Nox went through the ranks of his comrades in order to provide advice and lessons.
Along the way, he saw Christa and Armin in the middle of a lesson, a smirk appeared on his face.
If Arlet's progress was dazzling in chess, it was much less so on the training ground. So Christa had taken it upon herself to teach Armin hand-to-hand combat, and while most of the time, he ended up groggy and stiff, he was improving to the point of being able to hold his own against the regiment's little angel. Although the nickname "little angel" lost all meaning when she let her fists do the talking, Thomas had been the first to painfully realize that.
After seeing that no one was free except Ymir who had no desire to fight against him, the young man just watched the lesson Armin was getting from Christa in case he had things to add.
(-) (-) (-)
Annie Leonhart eyed Amos Nox suspiciously, there was something she didn't like about this guy at all.
He was just too nice, too talented, too friendly, too easy to like to be genuine. The first thing she noticed about him was that he seemed able to sense the potential of other cadets. Thus determining who was worthy of his attention and teachings and who was not, separating talented people from normal people, widening the chasm between top 10 contenders and the usual cannon folder at the same time. Annie was convinced that he left nothing to chance, and almost controlled the hundred and fourth cadets corps without anyone realizing it. The only ones he hadn't approached were Mikasa and herself. Even Eren seemed to be drinking every word that came out of that guy's mouth since he saved his ass during the aptitude test. Second… He was way too strong and knowledgeable to be normal. He claimed to have learned everything in a private school in Wall Sina, a believable story since no one here had ever set foot in the Interior. But he was only thirteen, and she highly doubted that the silk-covered kids of the Interior had the skills that Nox possessed. His analytical and anticipation skills were outstanding, his movements were as fast as they were fluid, and his blows as precise as they were devastating.
The brotherly smile he wore almost constantly reeked falseness from Annie's point of view, and his advices were far too specific and precise to be as simple as he tried to make them seem.
It was almost as if...
Eren's charge interrupted her thoughts, and she was forced to knock him down in order to get back to her thinking. Alas, the young man did not give her this opportunity.
"Damn…" he growled angrily, "I'm not getting anywhere…"
"Stop whining," she replied in an exasperated tone, "you're making progress, but you're still far from my level, that's all."
Jaeger sat up, massaging his ribs, and followed the girl's blue-silver gaze.
"Don't you find him suspicious?" Annie suddenly asked without taking her eyes off her target.
"Who?"
"Amos," she clarified, "don't you find it odd that he spends so much time helping some of us while leaving others to rot?"
Much to her disappointment, Eren was more stunned than suspicious.
"The hell are you talking about? Amos helps almost everyone."
"On different levels," Annie corrected, using Jaeger to expand her thinking, "he gives general advice to everyone, but his personal advices and teachings are only given to two handfuls of people at most. Why do you think he does that?"
The green-eyed boy looked totally lost, but pondered the question nonetheless.
"Because he can tell the difference between those who are gifted and those who are not?"
"Bingo."
"I still don't see where the problem is," Eren admitted looking at his emerald eyes comrade, "he trains the most deserving, therefore the most useful. He helps me a lot for ODM maneuvers."
Annie cringed, clearly disappointed by his response.
"Idiot. You think he trains you because you are worthy? That's why you're not wary..."
"He looks like he's forging his own little personal unit," she finally explained.
"What about that?" the young man asked naively. "As long as we have what it takes to get rid of the titans..."
This answer made the blonde girl raise an eyebrow.
"You think he's going to join the Scouts?"
"He admitted it himself," Eren insisted defensively, "if he has what it takes to get rid of those bastards, I'll take what he has to offer."
Annie quickly understood that she would not be able to change Jaeger's opinion, the latter admired Nox too much and hated the titans too much. For a moment, she wondered why the native of Shinganshina came to see her rather than the tall blond to learn martial arts, but she focused on the present. She had a theory to check, and the perfect guinea pig at hand.
"I see..." she sighed before throwing the knife at him, "attack him by surprise."
"What?"
"Attack him," she repeated firmly, "if you're really determined to trust him with your life and the lives of your friends, the least you can do is test him. Don't you think?"
Eren hesitated, no one had ever managed to land a blow on Amos, not even Reiner or Bertholdt. Besides… He didn't want to attack the guy he respected the most and helped him so much. It did not make sense.
"Guess I was wrong," she continued nonchalantly, "it seems perfectly fine for you to be the puppet of a guy you barely know just because he has a few skills. Will you tell him he's competent when you pick up the corpses of Armin and Mikasa? If he's not happy that you wanted to test him, then maybe you'll realize he doesn't deserve all the credit you give him."
Those words made something roar in Jaeger's chest, he imagined his closest friends being devoured the same way his mother was. This sight of horror made his blood run cold and he tightened his grip on the handle of the fake weapon. He went back to watching Amos, the latter was displaying a carefree smile, a smile that suddenly annoyed the native of Shinganshina. Judging by his scars, Nox had suffered during his life, but he had never seen the slightest titan, he knew nothing of the horror that these monsters spread. Deep down… was he truly capable of leading them into battle? Will he be as reliable when they'll go out Wall Rose territory? Or will he flee like all those who fled when the Colossal appeared? Eren had made his decision. He exchanged one last look with Annie who nodded encouragingly, before heading towards Amos with his wooden knife in hand.
"Good job, Eren," the blonde thought, "I'll teach you one of my favorite moves for this."
She then glanced to the right, and noticed that the person whose attention she wanted was already doing what she wanted.
A smile lit up her face.
"Let's see how Nox handles himself against a beast."
(-) (-) (-)
Amos was readjusting the stance of a flagellating Armin when he heard a series of rapid footsteps coming from behind him. By reflex, he used the survival instinct that was taught to him to fight back. He blocked the surprise attack by grabbing the wrist carrying the weapon that was intended for his spine, and knocked the assailant away with a devastating punch straight to the stomach. Eren doubled over under his surprised gaze, and vomited his lunch on the floor.
Amos took a few seconds to understand what had just happened, before grabbing Jaeger by the armpits in order to help him relieve himself and regain his violently cut breath by opening his rib cage as widely as possible.
"Why on Earth did you do that for, you fucking moron?" he grumbled in exasperation before noticing the huge shadow heading straight towards them.
He immediately let go of Eren in order to take a step back, and narrowly dodged Bertholdt. The latter rolled unrestrained on the ground.
"Hey, Amos?" a voice he knew called. "Your techniques seem effective."
Nox raised his head, and saw the fascinating Oriental Ackerman advancing towards him with an impassive expression, equipped with an icy glare.
"Why don't you teach me a few tricks?" Mikasa offered, continuing to walk in his direction with what looked like a firm intention of pulverizing him.
Amos looked at the oriental girl with a skeptical gaze, before noticing the agitation that this statement aroused.
"Holy shit," Connie said in shock, "Holy shit! Hey guys ?! Amos and Mikasa are going to fight!"
That was more than enough to round up all the other cadets, they formed a circle around the two fighters. In less time than it took to tell, events had completely overtaken Nox before he had the opportunity to defuse the situation.
"Who do you think will win?" Reiner asked to the other recruits.
"Well," Marco started, his tone a little unsure, Mikasa is incredible, but Amos has never taken a hit… I'm going with Amos."
"You kidding?!" Jean yelled angrier than he should have been. "I'm betting my dinner on Mikasa!"
"Deal!" Sasha yelled immediately, imagining the double portion she'll earn after the blonde's victory.
"Mikasa is a beast," Connie admitted, "but Amos… well, he's Amos."
Ymir shook her head when she saw her precious Christa dead with worry, she secretly hoped for a victory from the oriental girl.
While the cadets were arguing, Reiner had taken a muddy Eren by the shoulders in order to stabilize him.
"What do you think?" he asked softly, "who will win?"
Jaeger hesitated for a few seconds, on the one hand he had boundless admiration for Nox, on the other Mikasa seemed invincible to him. So much that it constantly annoyed him.
"I think - I hope - that Amos will win," he whispered, but his adoptive sister heard him.
Despite the pain that this confession inflicted on her, her resolve was strengthened.
"I will defeat him, and I will prove to Eren that I can protect him, and will protect him no matter what."
"Eren always finds a way to get himself into trouble, if something goes wrong, you'll have to help each other."
Carla Jaeger's words resonated in her skull, and her eyes only shone a more determined glint. She was now staring at Amos with the firm intention of exterminating him.
For his part, the young man raised a puzzled eyebrow.
"I admit I had another idea in mind when I was hoping to get her attention," he mused, as annoyed as he was exasperated, "Mikasa looks like she really wants to see me battered and broken… I guess it'll do."
Nox knew he would only escape this situation by fighting, so he prepared himself.
"She is still very young," he thought, watching his opponent, "her potential hasn't fully blossomed yet, and she relies far too much on her hereditary instinct rather than her own talents. But her strength and velocity seem to have already reached an excellent level, I need to know how she moves against a fighter of my caliber before drawing up a plan of attack."
When the starting signal was given by Marco, Mikasa projected herself on Amos with an incredible violence even for him who barely dodged her fist.
"Bloody Hell!" he thought in awe. "If she had touched me, she would have ripped my head off."
The oriental girl didn't waste any second, and attacked again, each more of her punchs and kicks were deadly, which forced her adversary to use all of his skill to avoid ending up in the infirmary for a month.
The cadets' enthusiasm waned almost immediately when they realized how violent this clash was, and many regretted getting so fired up seeing the Ackerman dominate the fight in every aspect.
Only Armin and Annie remained on their guard, waiting to see how the "Advisor" would react.
Mikasa finally managed to land a blow to Amos, right in the pectoralis major, fortunately for the latter, he had made a sufficient movement of recoil to attenuate the effects of the attack.
It was nevertheless powerful enough to send the young man rolling on the ground, however he used the momentum granted by the blow to quickly return to his feet.
A cathedral-like silence fell over the ranks of the cadets, shocked and amazed expressions were printed on their faces. It had happened, it was now official, Amos Nox had taken his first blow.
Eren gritted his teeth, feeling his frustration growing at breakneck speed.
"Of course, out of all fighters it would be Mikasa who would succeed where everyone else failed! Even Amos can't match her… But why the hell does everything have to work for her?! Can't she have limits like everyone else?!"
The oriental girl stared at her opponent with a disappointed and haughty look that did not please him at all. He stood up, massaging his aching chest.
"You're not as strong as you pretend to be," she said dismissively, "in fact, you're not even anything special. You're just making others believe you're worth something to put on airs."
The recruits stared at Mikasa in shock, since when was the girl so contemptuous? What had Nox done to her to deserve such treatment?
Armin seemed particularly worried, he had noticed the envious and frustrated looks his friend sometimes gave Reiner, Amos and Annie. He supposed that she had been jealous that Eren had gone to them for advice rather than her, and that he seemed to prefer their company over hers. She must have been dragging that resentment for a while to come to this, and her frustration had built up to the point that she desperately sought reassurance by beating Amos. She also looked that she was trying to prove something to herself as much as to Eren… In any case, it was not going to end well.
Armin then paused in his thoughts as he caught sight of the terrifying look that had just emerged in Nox's emerald green eyes. Many cadets, including the little blond, felt a shiver of terror run down their spines.
The Oriental girl wasn't affected in the least by the evil aura her opponent seemed to be emitting, but she raised a puzzled eyebrow nonetheless.
"Mikasa," he gritted in a deathly cold voice, brushing his shoulders nonchalantly, "you've just made a colossal mistake."
His tone made the girl squint suspiciously, but she didn't lose her confidence.
"I think it's time I teach you some bloody manners," the blond finally said, stretching the back of his neck before punching his palm.
It didn't take more to bring enthusiasm back to the cadets, and a wave of murmurs swept through their ranks.
"She's finished," Christa whispered to Ymir, flashing one of her rare genuine smiles.
Armin heard her, and watched Amos carefully as he remembered the one-sided opposition they had witnessed thus far. His eyes widened as he realized the tall blond had been analyzing his friend's every move.
"Oh no ..." he stuttered with a low voice.
But Eren heard him and seemed to regain hope.
Time slowed down around Amos, the insects flapped their wings feebly, the rays of the Sun had faded and the cadets had almost frozen in place, there was only the tall blond and his formidable adversary, frozen in his imagination.
"First, empty the nest." he thought, imagining himself provoking her with a wave of his hand.
Immediately, Mikasa attacked him, but her movements were now far too predictable.
"Clink wings," he continued to imagine, striking the girl's arms to hit her nerves. On a normal human it would have paralyzed her limbs, on an Ackerman it would slow her down at most.
"Blunt her beak."
He dodged a devastating attack by making a 52° angle with his neck in order to tilt his head to the side, he perfectly imagined the force of the attack stroking his hair and retaliated with a backhand in her face.
"Crack eggs."
A quick punch in each of the young girl's growing breast would be more than enough to destabilize her, she would reply with a drop of the elbow, but Amos would have already gotten up and hooked his opponent's ankle in the process.
"Scramble," he commented before taking advantage of her imbalance to smash his palm to her chin. "Pinch of salt," he planted two fingers in his eyes, "and a touch of pepper."
He felt, despite his repeated attacks, that it would take even more to knock Mikasa out, he imagined very well the latter trusting only her instinct to strike a clean and precise blow despite her temporary blindness.
The best way to dodge this attack was to duck, then slither around her back like a snake to grab her by the head.
"Flip the omelette."
He pulled his victim over him, but had to quickly sweep her legs to keep her from falling on her feet.
"Personal pleasure," he added, whirling around as Mikasa tried to get up, "a generous tablespoon of garlic cream."
His heel collided with the oriental girl's temple, sending her into Morpheus' arms.
"A single miscalculation would result in painful indigestion," he finished as he returned to the Real World, "which could leave serious wounds."
He came back to the real world and discretely licked his lips.
"Let's set the table," he whispered before taking a new battle stance that no one saw him use before.
Concentrated as ever, he provoked Mikasa by challenging her to approach him, she reacted automatically.
"The nest is empty."
"What's he doing?!" Connie choked.
"Does he have a death wish or what?!" Jean exclaimed.
"Clink the wings, blunt the beak, crack the eggs, scramble, a pinch of salt and a touch of pepper, flip the omelet, add the personal pleasure."
Fifteen seconds, the fight had lasted fifteen seconds. After those fifteen seconds, Mikasa was unconscious, her face on the ground, and Amos was standing there releasing his breath loudly.
"Ding, Dong, breakfast is served," he said quietly while dusting is shoulder.
None of the cadets, apart from Christa, had understood what had just happened.
"Did…did Mikasa just lose?" Eren blurted out in shock.
"Damn," Connie said, rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming, "anyone have any idea what happened?"
"I'm going to have double portion at dinner," a salivating Sasha summarized, for nothing else mattered to her.
"Did…did he dare punch her in the chest?!" Jean exclaimed, scandalized.
"I believe so," Marco murmured.
"I confirm," Bertholdt added.
Eren wasn't listening to them, a deep sense of guilt was gnawing his insides. Yes, he had wished for Amos to win because he was tired of seeing everything worked out for Mikasa no matter what she had in mind. He just wanted to see her fail to reassure his little person, but under no circumstances, under NO circumstances had he wanted to see her suffer.
He looked at her in horror, she looked so frail lying on the ground, unconscious and helpless. Like the day he had met her.
"I'm sorry…" he whispered to himself.
Annie, the one who had orchestrated this duel, had observed Amos with a calculating gaze and great interest (which was quite rare). She scratched her chin thoughtfully with her index finger.
"It looked like a theatre play: his movements were far too well coordinated and efficient, as if he had rehearsed them. This confirms what I thought, there is nothing normal about him. He must have received some kind of extreme training worthy of a first class assassin, and he is far too skilled and lethal to be a mere recruit. It makes me wonder what he's doing there of all places."
For his part, Amos gritted his teeth. He had never confronted Mikasa because he knew he had no chance of winning against her without using his best asset. It was obvious that someone had tricked her into pushing Eren to attack him in order for the oriental to challenge Amos. And Nox was determined to find out who was behind it in order to administer a very harsh punishment.
But for now, he had to do his best to maintain the image that the other cadets had of him. So he picked up Mikasa and carried bridal-style.
"Eren? Armin?" he called in a fake brotherly voice filled with fake regrets "Come with me to the infirmary, will you?"
The two friends nodded without thinking, and hastened to follow his steps under the still flabbergasted gazes of the other cadets.
No words were exchanged during the walk, as Amos thought it best to let the boys digest what they had seen. The discussion that would follow would be all the more fruitful.
Once Mikasa was deposited on a bed, Nox grabbed a chair and sat down at her bedside, he encouraged Armin and Eren to imitate him with a simple wave of his hand.
"Would you mind giving me some explanations?" he asked suddenly after a moment of silence.
"Explain what?" asked the little blond.
"Explain to me why Mikasa fought with such passion.
The two friends exchanged a hesitant look, Amos let out a deep sigh.
"Normally I wouldn't get involved in your family affairs, but she could have broken me in two if I hadn't been careful enough. I just want to understand why something like this happened so that it doesn't happen again."
It wasn't the whole truth, of course, he also wanted to know what kind of event could have triggered the awakening of the Ackerman genetic attribute to determine if there was a way to avoid any violent conflicts in the future.
Eren told him everything after a moment of hesitation; how Mikasa had become his adopted sister, what had happened to her parents, what they had experienced in Shiganshina during the fall of Wall Maria, and their lives as beggar children until they join the cadets.
Amos listened to his every word with a deadpan expression, before finally nodding.
"Go back to training," he said simply, "I have things to say to the doctor."
Both boys raised a skeptical eyebrow, but complied with the demands of their corps' unofficial leader.
Once alone, Amos smiled at the wealth of information he had acquired. He would find a way to take advantage of this as soon as possible, then he stuck a flick on Mikasa's bruise.
"Wake up," he suddenly ordered, ignoring her aching slack, "I know I can't knock you out for more than five minutes."
The oriental girl opened her eyes, still confused by the blow she had received on the temple, and stared at him impassively with a blank stare, a stare Amos immediately hated for personal reasons.
"What do you want?" she asked in a cold voice, deeply hurt by her fresh defeat.
"Well first of all, I wanted to tell you that you are stupid."
The empty gaze of the half-blood instantly flared up, Amos went on before she had the opportunity to answer:
"Instead of attacking me, you should have tried to understand why Eren decided to stab me in the back since he adores me. You would have noticed then that he was chatting with Annie for a few seconds before he acted so stupidly. And then, you would have realized that Annie had manipulated Eren. Think about it next time."
The girl's jet-black pupils widened in astonishment for a few moments, then anger seized her again. To the point of making her clench her fists and cringe, Amos rolled his eyes at the ceiling, and gave her another flick to calm her down.
"If you intend to get revenge, you will immediately forget this stupid idea. Remember, if you go after her, everyone will think you're crazy, and she will beat you anyway.
Mikasa paralyzed herself in horror at the Advisor's statement, an agonizing feeling churned in her stomach. A feeling of helplessness mixed with guilt seized her muscles, the smiling face of Carla Jaeger invaded her mind.
"W-why…? Why won't I beat her?"
"Because she knows how to fight," Amos replied, deliberately taking a more sympathetic tone, "you're faster and stronger, but you lack experience against high caliber fighters and you've never learned any martial art. Annie will turn your strength against you and defeat you in front of everyone."
If he was being honest with himself, Nox wasn't entirely sure about this theory. But he didn't need to be, he needed Mikasa to believe it, which she already did judging by the horror that had invaded the young girl's jet-black eyes.
"At the beginning of our fight I wasn't sure if you were serious or not," he lied shamelessly, "as soon as I understood that you wanted to skin me alive, I only needed fifteen seconds to beat you."
The oriental lowered her eyes, her heart crushed by the speech of the tall blond, Amos shook his head.
"Keep it up and you're going to need a bottle of booze," he joked before regaining some semblance of seriousness, "if you need lessons in martial arts, I can help you with that. But you don't need to break the bones of those who displease you. Annie screwed up, but picking on her in front of everyone is the best way to look like a bitch."
Mikasa was shocked by the tall blond's words. She opened her mouth to retort, to claim that she wouldn't do such a thing out of self-interest, that she would only go after Annie to protect her family. But she quickly realized that no matter what she said, no one would understand her, not even Eren.
"Listen, Mikasa," Amos continued, looking her in the eye, "things would be a lot easier if you talked to Eren."
She raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"What do you mean by that?"
"After hearing your story, it's now clear to me why you care so much about him. Talking to him about how you feel will help you avoid many embarrassing and hurtful situations like our fight in the future."
She looked away while hiding half of her face with her scarf.
"I'm not sure he'll understand," she said simply.
"You can't know without experimenting, you can only guess."
Mikasa frowned, this response was far too automatic to have come naturally to Nox.
She saw him get up to leave, but she held him back by expressing the question that burned his lips:
"And if he doesn't understand?"
"Then I'll teach him the lesson," he said, pausing, "but it won't be as meaningful as if it came from you."
With these words, he finally left the infirmary without worrying about the condition of the Ackerman. The rest of the events would depend on the courage of the latter and the accuracy of her words, these would have lost all their meaning if Nox had shoved them into the mouth of the half-blood.
It was then that, a question surprinsingly came to his mind. Amos raised an eyebrow at the recklessness of his own mind, and retraced his steps to ask with a curious smile:
"What do you want?"
Mikasa frowned.
"What are you talking about?"
"What do you want in life?" he clarified before elaborating: "you have no ambition, no personal objective, no real goal. So tell me, what do you hope to get out of your life?"
The Oriental girl suddenly stared at him as if a second head had just sprouted from him, her uncertainty made her tremble before she regained control of herself.
"I just want to protect my family," she said resolutely, "the rest… doesn't matter."
Amos… paralyzed himself for a moment. His usually so jovial and friendly gaze plunged into a bottomless void, within which he hoped to find the time to formulate an adequate response.
Mikasa impressed him… no, his amazement went beyond that: he… he…
"I think I envy you," he admitted without thinking.
The Oriental girl's eyes widened slightly in incomprehension.
"What do you mean?"
"Protection is the second step," he said without realizing that he wasn't clarifying anything, he took his eyes off the wall. "I still haven't accomplished the first step. To be honest, I'm not even sure I can make it that far."
Mikasa frowned again when she saw a tear rolling down his cheek, what the hell was this guy talking about?
"I'm sorry," he said suddenly, "I'm just feeling sorry for myself. You are very strong, physically stronger than me. But you're going to have to let Eren and Armin take a few hits if you want to increase their chances at survival."
The oriental girl froze in her bed, and squeezed her sheets until her own knuckles whitened.
"I don't want to see them suffer."
Amos suddenly let out a cruel sigh, one that left no room for pity.
"You had to suffer to become that strong," he said, masking his own feelings. "If you really want to make them stronger, let me train them. And if you want Eren to grow up... you'll have to confront him with the feelings you're hiding. If you want Eren to get stronger, use your resentments to force him to face his own demons."
Mikasa widened her eyes, both horrified and fascinated by the words of the young man who knocked her down. A feat that no one had managed to accomplish so far. Who was he? What was he trying to accomplish? How did he manage to understand her?
Amos finally left, his mind wrung out and his teeth clenched due to his own frustration.
(-) (-) (-)
Mikasa thought about Amos' words for a long time, in fact she thought about it so much that she almost forgot to sleep that night. It wasn't until the next day, when she was in charge of peeling potatoes with Eren during the morning, that she made the decision to talk to him. But to her surprise, the latter spoke first:
"I am sorry."
She looked up from her potato, with risen her eyebrows.
"About what?"
"For wanting to see you lose against Amos," he clarified, feeling his muscles stiffen. "I was jealous and frustrated, I wanted you to lose just to feel better, but I didn't want you to suffer, I'm sorry Mikasa."
The oriental girl widened her eyes, sincerely touched by her best friend's confession, for a few seconds she gave up on the idea of telling him what was on her heart. But she refused to do so, Eren had taken the first step, it was up to her to follow.
"Am I bothering you that much?"
"Uh?"
"Am I really such a bother to you?"
The boy tensed, and all the frustration accumulated since the beginning of their training seemed to rise suddenly. Nevertheless he forced himself to control himself, he hadn't apologized to get angry a second later."
"You treat me like a kid," he said in a voice he tried to keep even, "I can't do anything myself."
"I'm just trying to protect you."
"By preventing me from improving?"
"Eren!" she let out in shock. "That's not what I'm want to do."
"And yet that's what you do," he almost spat, raising his head.
However, he saw the flabbergasted gaze of the young woman and heaved a deep sigh to regain his composure. He couldn't get mad, not now, he had no right to be mad at Mikasa after her fight against Amos.
"It's frustrating, you know?" he resumed in a more modest tone. "Being practically unable to do anything myself, you won't even let me carry a damn crate, for the love of the goddesses. How am I supposed to toughen up if you won't let me?"
The oriental looked down, she had always known that she might be overdoing it a bit, but she hadn't realized how badly it could have affected on Eren. He was right, she was holding him back.
"I'm sorry," she whispered as a tear ran down her cheek.
Unfortunately, Eren didn't notice her.
"Mom's gone," he said bluntly, grabbing another potato from the bin, "you don't have to replace her."
It was more than the young woman could tolerate, she grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to face her, thus revealing her face distorted by tears, anger and fear.
"I lost her too, you know!" she cried without restraint. "I too have no home! My parents, Doctor Jaeger and Carla are all gone! You are all I have left!"
Eren had no idea what was happening or how it happened, he had never seen his adoptive sister in such a weak state.
"Mikasa..."
"What if something happened to you too?" she asked in a hasty tone.
"Mikasa, nothing will happen to me…"
He only managed to rise the girl's anger as she grabbed him by the collar so they come face to face.
"People said the walls would keep the Titans out, but they didn't! Hannes said he was going to protect us, but he didn't! My parents said they would always be there for me, but they died! Carla took me in as her daughter, she promised me the same as my parents, and I believed her that time too, and she died!"
She gasped, visibly more out of breath than she had ever been, showing only her grief and fear.
"We had to grow up faster than we ever should have. You are so obsessed that you take reckless risks with your life, you, the last person I have left. I can't cry for you too. It is beyond my strength…"
She took a deep breath, before continuing:
"They tell us every day in training, that you can't do everything alone. You are part of a team, we are a team, we were since the day you saved me. You gave me back this life and I would do anything to keep it, Eren. You are all I have left…" Tears were streaming down her face now as she began to break down like she had when they first met. "All I have left…"
Eren didn't know what to say. He never really took the time to think about how she was doing. Sure, he and his parents were there when she lost hers, but after Shiganshina's fall and his mother's death... how lonely had she felt because of him? He felt lower than he had ever felt in his entire life, and it was his fault. So he hugged Mikasa as hard as he could.
"I'm sorry, Mikasa," he whispered. "I am really sorry."
"I have to protect you, Eren." The oriental girl's embrace intensified as sobs shook her body. "That's why I have to keep improving too."
"It's just… Damn!" They fell to their knees. "I miss them so much."
"Me too."
"Those fucking Titans. They all deserve to die!" he growled angrily as tears streamed down his face. "I lost everything, I want everything back!"
"Eren, I can't lose you for revenge, it's not worth it to me…"
"So what am I supposed to do?"
"I can't tell you how to find peace, it's something you have to do on your own."
"Peace?" he asked softly. "There is no such thing for me... I...I want my freedom."
Mikasa didn't respond as they hugged. It wasn't something that could be fixed. Not for a long time, at least. They were too broken, too angry to try to get out of the pain the Titans had caused them. But, for once, they felt closer to each other than they had in a long time. And to Mikasa, it was invaluable.
Leaning against the wall next to the door, Amos let a smile of satisfaction grace his face.
(-)(-)(-)
Nox was doing his morning warm-ups outside the dorms when Mikasa came to find him. Indeed, following the uncomfortable reaction that his scars had caused to all of his classmates, the tall blond had decided to get up earlier and take his shower alone for the rest of his classes. This allowed him, among other things, to warm up while enjoying the sunrise.
"Amos?" called the half blood, approaching behind him. "Would you teach me martial arts ?"
He grinned as he heard this request, internally congratulated himself for having cornered his prey, then he turned around with a neutral expression and replied:
"Only if you listen to me from beginning to end, and if you don't challenge me on how I train Eren and Armin.
These conditions tore a slight tenseness from the young girl, she had to take a deep breath in order to let go:
"All right... but please..."
"I want them to finish their classes," the tall blond clarified, encouraging her to approach with a wave of his hand, "I won't hurt them more than necessary.
Obviously, this statement did not appease the half-blood, but she nevertheless made the effort to swallow her worries for this time. Amos then hastened to bring her out of her maternal trance by giving her a flick on the forehead which she dodged, however, she did not dodge the one that happened to her left earlobe.
"Focus on yourself first before worrying about them," Nox reasoned as the girl gave him a vexed look. "If you die before them they could die the next day. Do you want them to live? So live as long as you can…while being as efficient as possible."
With these words, he attacked Mikasa who parried in an unacademic way.
"Well done," the young man falsely complimented while keeping his body moving, "now let's see what happens if I pick up the pace."
Their session lasted a little less than an hour, however, the half-blood learned enough to come and claim the same thing the next day at the same time. She had little idea that she had fallen into the trap of a predator, a predator who was unknowingly falling victim to his own trap.
(-) (-) (-)
It only took a few weeks for Christa Lenz to stand out from the other recruits. Indeed, the little blond girl was a formidable hand-to-hand combatant, had a unique skill in ODM maneuvers and her grades in class surpassed the overwhelming majority of the other cadets. An impressive success, which in Ymir's eyes was explained by her closeness to Amos. The two blonds practiced the same martial arts, had similar behavioral occs, and both had the most extensive vocabulary. The tall girl with the freckles hadn't had to watch them for long to understand that their relationship was more intimate than one between two childhood friends. Which meant that if she wanted to get closer to Christa, Ymir had to go through Amos, and she didn't want that.
She knew that he wasn't as nice as he claimed, but what really held her back was the fact that he was very protective. The few perverts who had ended up in the infirmary with broken limbs hadn't magically landed there.
Luckily for the tall girl, the opportunity to chat one-on-one with the tall blond came when they were teamed up during one of the winter survival drills. And on this day, she had already decided to opt for the bluntest approach, and therefore the most risky.
"Listen to me carefully!" shouted Shadis to get their attention, "I will read in order which pairs will go first, second and so on, your task is simple, you have sixteen hours from the start to make your way through the valley where the other instructors are waiting for are the teams: Marco and Connie, then Mikasa and Reiner. Eren and Mina. Franz and Thomas. Hannah and Sasha. Armin and Jean. Christa and Annie. Ymir and Amos."
The latter looked around for his partner and saw her making her way with a smirk on her face.
"Hey there, pretty boy."
Nox instantly froze and pierced the tall girl with his emerald glare.
"Oops," she said with an innocent face.
"Hello Ymir," the young man gritted, masking his anger. "You seem to be in a surprisingly good mood."
"Here's something else that will surprise you: you were just the person I was hoping to spend some time with."
She was right, this information raised a surprised eyebrow.
Christa cleared her throat to signal her presence to the duo formed by Shadis. Ymir greeted her with a warm smile.
"Hey beautiful, what can we do for you?"
The little blonde blushed at this compliment, and had to feign a fit of coughing to avoid stammering. Amos just rolled his eyes.
"Hey, why is it that when I talk about her, you don't say anything? You are a lot alike, you know?
A moment of hesitation passed during which the predation appeared in the eyes of the tall blond, so Christa made a point of intervening quickly:
"Ymir," she warned without masking her concern, "stop… please."
"Come on, I ain't blind nor stupid," she continued after making sure that they were not listened to, "you spend too much time together, you're too similar, why do you tell everyone that you're only childhood friends?"
"Our relationship isn't really a secret," Amos replied without diminishing the violence in his pupils, "It's just no one's business."
"And before you go any further," interrupted Christa who felt a disaster coming, "stop making remarks about his appearance. And don't try to understand."
Ymir wanted to laugh, but the very real concern in the eyes of the little blond girl stopped her in her tracks. Instead she shook her head, and said to the tall blond:
"Well, are we going or what?"
"Go ahead, I'll catch you," Amos replied, not once smiling.
The tall girl on the other hand, did not hesitate to display a triumphant smile and went to get ready, once out of her sight, Nox exhaled loudly between his teeth.
"Amos," Christa scolded, "you're exaggerating there."
"The last time I was so appalled, I took bloody measures," he informed her coldly.
A shiver of terror crossed the spine of the little blonde, she took a deep breath to control herself.
"Please...don't hurt her..."
Amos was very surprised by the importance his sister accorded to the girl with the freckles, he looked into her eyes.
"That will be up to her."
"Momo…"
"Don't call me that," the annoyed young man snapped.
"You used to love that nickname before..."
"I've changed…"
"I know," Christa breathed, holding back tears, "I've noticed years ago."
Amos' emerald green eyes met the sapphire blue of his younger sister, he saw only sadness and regret. He would be lying if he said it didn't affect him, but he couldn't feel as many emotions as before. He couldn't afford it.
"Listen," he sighed resignedly, "I promise you I won't hurt her during this exercise."
The look of dismay on the little blonde's face would have made him laugh a few years ago.
"Guess I can't ask for more," she said flatly, then turned on her heels and started to get organized.
Her brother felt a twinge in his heart watching her go, but he ignored this feeling to prepare himself
(-) (-) (-)
Neither Ymir nor Amos had said a word during the first two hours of their ascent through the snow. It was only when the slope was less steep, and the walk less tiring, that the tall girl finally decided to say what was on her heart:
"You know," she began lightly, "I never thought I would ever see a noble boy with enough guts to get his hands as dirty as yours."
Amos froze when he heard that statement, predation flashed in his emerald eyes as he smirked. He turned slowly to gauge his teammate.
"Not bad," he commented as the daggers in his boots itched, "how did you manage to find that out?"
Ymir carefully measured her next words, she wasn't stupid, she knew a violent reaction from the tall blond could be expected if she were to say the wrong thing, so she asked nervously while scratching her cheek:
"Hey, uh...would you mind letting me finish before you get excited in any way?"
Amos glared at her, then clicked his tongue in annoyance.
"I promised Christa not to hurt you during this exercise," he informed her soberly, "on the other hand I advise you to spill your beans quickly, otherwise you'll get a quick death as premature as painless."
"Ha…ha…ha…uh…," the tall girl sneered nervously, "you…you're not joking, are you?"
"Nope," Amos confirmed, crossing his arms.
Ymir swallowed and realized that it was now in her best interest to spill her beans:
"I get it... well actually ... before I was a thief ... and I robbed a lot of places in Sina ... And then one day ... I went to loot one of the churches from the Wall cultists ... and I heard two priests talking about the Queen's daughter..."
Amos couldn't believe his ears, his eyes widen in shock.
"What did you just say?" he blurted out in dismay as he began to shake with anger.
"Hey," Ymir replied while raising her arms defensively, "I had nothing to do with it..."
"I don't care about your opinion," the furious young man growled.
"Okay, okay," the tall girl grumbled, "well… so they said the Queen's bastard daughter had been forced to join the army and now called herself Christa Lenz."
A cathedral-like silence descended on the snowy road, only the whistle of the wind was heard as Ymir waited for Amos' response after the latter's pupils widened like two saucers.
He groaned in exasperation as he pinched the corners of his eyes. "Which church was it?" he asked in a cold voice.
"Ehrmich's, why? You're going to have it destroyed?"
"No, I'm going to tear the tongues of the two morons who opened their fucking mouths."
This very serious statement made the tall girl shudder in terror, she almost bit her finger when the young man raised his head.
"As for you… I'd like to understand. You heard about my sister and her ancestry, you learned that she was going to join the cadets and you… followed in her steps… Why ? Why did you make such a decision based on what you learned that day?"
Ymir hesitated, she frankly did not want to answer this question.
"I was tired of being a thief," she half-lied, "I thought that joining the cadets could get me a well-paying a job and I was curious to know the Queen's bastard. Besides, if Christa is…"
"Don't change the subject," Amos ordered her in a flat tone, "and I don't believe you for a second."
The tall girl froze in place as the tall blond continued:
"My sister's future wasn't decided until shortly before our training started, you couldn't have found out more than five days before our first training session. During this short period, you have crossed the great distance that separates Ehrmich from Trost to ensure you could enroll in our promotion. You could have amassed a great booty by robbing other churches before joining the army next year. You're smart enough to have thought about that, which means that you made the decision to be here on a whim, after learning about the existence and the situation of my sister... And you want me to believe that was it just out of curiosity?"
Ymir was blown away and terrified by Nox's analytical ability, within seconds she felt like she had been stripped naked and dissected.
A small smile appeared on the tall blonde's face, his emerald eyes glinting with amusement.
"Come now, Ymir," he continued in a slightly haughty tone, "you didn't reveal this to me without having an idea in mind, did you? You're not dumb enough to try to blackmail me. So say what you have to say already."
The tall girl winced in anger at the way the young man was leading her by the nose, she gritted her teeth, buried any regrets about her decision to talk to him, and mustered up her courage to finally ask :
"I wanted your... permission... to date your sister..."
"Granted," Nox blurted out before continuing on his way, leaving her dumbfounded.
Ymir remained frozen for a few seconds, before she widened her eyes and ran after him.
"Wait, are you fucking serious?!" She nearly screamed once she came back to his level. "You tear out tongues, you massacred all the guys who approached your sister, you outright threatened to kill me... But you give me your agreement to flirt with her... Why?"
Amos answered without slowing down:
"The pervs I 'massacred' as you say, only had eyes for her body."
He grimaced in disgust before he got his impulses under control.
"For you, it's different, it was her situation that interested you above all else, you approached her the first day and you were already staring at her during our first training session. You took the time to learn who she was before you started teasing her. You understood that Christa Lenz is not just a simple name, it's a character. You've been trying for some time to find out who the person behind Christa is, the same person who enjoys your company so much that she made me promise not to harm you. And despite the fear that I inspire you, you had the courage to come and ask for my permission to seduce her… I am very protective, but I will never prevent her from living her life. If she wants you as a girlfriend, I don't see what right I have to say no or why I would."
Ymir acknowledged these explanations with a surprised smile and a sigh of relief. She walked beside him in comfortable silence for a few moments, before sniffing an eel under the rock. "Calculating as you are… You certainly didn't give me this permission for free," she realized. "What do you have to gain from this?"
"My sister isn't happy," Amos replied, keeping his eyes fixed on the road." It is mostly my fault."
Ymir raised her eyebrows, she knew about the lack of happiness the little blonde was suffering from, but she hadn't imagined that it was caused by her brother. These two were so close...
"The thing is," Nox said flatly, "she only has me in her life. And she expects me to become someone I will never be. I can't make her happy by myself."
He turned to the tall girl who briefly saw a sad gleam in those emerald eyes of his, she felt a certain pressure weigh on her shoulders.
"Maybe you can," he said simply, before refocusing on the road.
Ymir's eyes widened in amazement upon hearing these words. She tried to say something but no words crossed her lips. She shook her head to collect herself… but then she made a mistake.
Amos intercepted her wrist before her fingers touched his shoulder and glared at her with a gaze possessed by predation.
"Don't touch me," he hissed hard enough to make her shiver.
He let go of her and continued on his way, but Ymir was not done. "I don't think she'll ever be happy if you're not," she pointed out.
"She can't build her life around me."
"Are you her only family?"
Nox paused to roll exasperated eyes.
"The less you know about our family the better off you will be, now take care of her and not me."
The freckled girl frowned in dismay, before grumbling:
"Have you ever been told you're a stubborn jerk?"
"No, but my sister once called me a stubborn asshole."
Ymir laughed at this.
"At least you love your sister, no one can say otherwise."
Amos' answer came only after a few seconds of awkward silence.
"Thanks," he whispered while swallowing his emotions.
Ymir was tempted to push a bit further, but she felt that she needed more information for that. So she chose to stay silent, to focus on the drill, and to think about the best way to seduce her sweet little Christa.
(-)(-)(-)
When Ymir and Amos arrived at the shelter, they were greeted by Christa and Eren. The tall blond learned from the native of Shinganshina that Armin had sprained his ankle and was, therefore, forced to go inside to take care of him, while his sister stayed outside with the freckled girl.
"How did it go?" she asked, more curious than worried.
The satisfaction on Ymir's face was a most eloquent response, she patted the bastard's head tenderly.
"You know," the tall girl began after making sure they weren't being listened to, "I don't think your brother is beyond repair."
Christa raised her eyebrows in surprise, a mad hope seized her heart.
"Well, he's a jerk," she reasoned, rolling her eyes, "but from what I understand, there's nothing in the world he loves more than you. And if he is able to realize that you are his priority, guess it means that he is not completely screwed."
Christa was silent and still for a few moments, before she was suddenly overcome with sobs. Ymir, the most outspoken person she knew, had just told her that there was hope for her brother. This simple declaration had rekindled hope in the heart of the little blonde who instinctively threw herself into the arms of the tall girl to hug her with all her might. Ymir gently stroked the back of her head, remembering Amos' reaction when she tried to catch him by the shoulder. She was not a psychiatrist, she did not know how to treat traumas, let alone severe ones. She didn't think he was irrecoverable, but she didn't know how to proceed.
Therefore, she chose to follow the Advisor's advice, and to only take care of Christa... for now at least.