Chapter 7 : An Asshole
It was the graduation ceremony and all of the cadets from 104th Cadet Corps of the Southern Division were gathered in front of their instructors:
"DO YOU HAVE A HEART?!" an officer roared.
All the cadets saluted:
"YES SIR!"
The soldier continued:
"From now on, you have three options! Choose wisely!"
He extended his hands.
"The Garrison, whose job it is to reinforce and protect the walls! The Survey Corps, who sacrifice themselves in the territory of the Titans to recover what was once ours! And the Military Police, who maintains law and order in the Interior at the service of His Majesty!"
"In other words, your duty is to become his Majesty's playthings."
The officer gestured to the front row:
"The cadets eligible for the Military Police have already been named! Take a good look at them! They are the best in your class!"
The top ten were placed in ascending order from left to right: Amos Nox, Mikasa Ackerman, Reiner Braun, Bertoldt Hoover, Annie Leonhart, Christa Lenz, Eren Jaeger, Jean Kirstein, Marco Bott, Sasha Braus.
Armin wasn't surprised at all that Mikasa and Eren became part of the top ten, but he hadn't truly expected Amos to end up ahead of the oriental… He surmised that the survival exercise of 848, Amos's natural leadership and camaraderie, as well as his top grades in class had weighed in the balance. In ODM practice, Mikasa was better, but Nox was a close second. Armin knew in advance that he wouldn't be in the top ten, and that was fine with him. Eren and Mikasa were planning to join the scouts, so he would join them. He just hoped he wouldn't be a burden on his friends.
Jean was -not so secretly- furious that Eren had finished ahead of him, he blamed Amos for that, because of all the lessons the latter had given to Jaeger. Eren was simply satisfied with the fact that his classes were over and that he was finally going to be able to eat titan flesh.
Amos was... displeased, in three years of training he had not yet managed to come up with a plan to join the Survey Corps...
The ceremony ended when the officers gave them free time for the evening, so the recruits met in a large hall to celebrate their promotion.
However, and to everyone's surprise, Amos and Mikasa were nowhere to be found.
(-)(-)(-)
During the party, Eren and Armin found themselves chatting with one of their group of friends. But the discussion was not a very happy one, indeed Nic was looking at Eren with an incredulous look.
"You still want to join the Scouts, even after making the top ten?"
Jaeger nodded.
"I made my decision a long time ago. I didn't become a soldier to run away from the Titans, I became a soldier to take back what is ours."
Thomas yelled in the second:
"We can't win!"
He was louder than he himself, had expected, silence echoed his words, but that didn't stop him from going on:
"Tens of thousands of people got eaten! The population has decreased by 20%, we now know that fighting is useless; Humanity cannot win against the titans."
A cathedral like silence followed this declaration, all the recruits lowered their heads in defeatism.
"So what? We think we can't win so we give up? It is true that humanity has only suffered defeats because it did not know the titans. Quantitative attacks are ineffective against them, we lost, but the information brought up during the battles brought us hope! You want to ignore all the tactical progress obtained thanks to all these sacrifices, and serve as mash to the Titans? Are you fucking kidding me?! I am going to massacre them all to the very last, and get out of these narrow walls! That's my dream! Humanity has not yet lost!"
Silence came again, the cadets were shocked by Eren's passionate speech, so much so that some of them began to feel a seed of hope being planted into their hearts.
The door of the hall suddenly opened, and Amos walked in to everyone's surprise with Mikasa behind him.
The impressive bruises that covered the right sides of the teenagers' faces did not escape everyone's notice, each of them wondered what had happened.
As always, Eren was tactless.
"The hell have you two been doing?"
None of them answered, Amos went to sit at a table while Mikasa joined Eren and Armin as if nothing had happened. Alas, the silence persisted.
"Wow! You guys love it rough!" Ymir cackled before taking a nudge from Christa.
Amos and Mikasa glared at her while the others hardly suppressed their bursts of laughter.
Nox suddenly got up from his table, drew a knife from his boot, and rushed straight at the jokester who recoiled in panic, raising her arms.
"Wow! Hey! Calm down, I was just messing around!"
"Right, now It's my turn to mess around!"
Ymir fled through the back door as fast as she could pursued by the valedictorian, himself pursued by Christa who begged them both to stop. There was another moment of silence before general hilarity spread through the room. Eren was the only one who didn't have the heart to laugh tonight, he chose to go get some fresh air instead, and was followed by his lifelong friends.
(-)(-)(-)
"Thanks for the joke Ymir," Amos said, putting away his dagger," there was a shitty mood in there."
Christa kicked him in the shin.
"Did you really have to pull out a knife?" she growled annoyed.
"It was theatrical," he replied, stroking her hair, "and you know I'm just teasing your girlfriend."
The latter shook her head.
"If you want to marry a goddess, get on with her demon," she said distractedly, "but seriously, what happened with Mikasa?"
Amos let out a long, deep sigh as he stroked his bruise with his fingertips.
"She… wanted a rematch," he grumbled in frustration.
"Don't tell me you lost?" Ymir exclaimed sincerely surprised.
"Not…exactly no…but I didn't win either…
An image of Mikasa and him simultaneously inflicting a roundhouse kick appeared in his mind, Amos had made a glide of three meters while spinning on himself before colliding with a barrel, while the oriental girl had staggered backwards for a few seconds before collapsing to the ground.
Ymir burst out laughing shamelessly at the young man's misadventure, Christa's eyes widened in surprise.
"How could that happen?"
Amos mumbled something unintelligible, the tall freckled girl put a hand behind her ear with a mocking smile.
"What was that?"
"I miscalculated," he finally admitted.
Christa couldn't believe her own ears.
" That's possible?"
" Oh come on," Nox defended himself with a slightly forced smile. "I'm human too, you know? Mikasa is really dangerous and she has improved a lot since our first duel. Surviving her is hard enough, defeating her requires perfect analysis. This time she didn't leave me an observation round, I had to improvise a bit. "
"I guess I owe that to Armin, by the way," he sighed inwardly, "he must have given her some intel… or at the very least, what he was able to figure out."
"You probably would have beaten her if you hadn't taught her martial arts," Ymir remarked, shrugging her shoulders, "you can only blame yourself."
Amos rolled his eyes upon hearing such idiotic words.
"And how am I supposed to improve without worthy rivals?" he said as if it were obvious. "I had already been trained before I came here, so I had to find reliable ways and people to keep improving. Not everyone satisfy themselves with the bare minimum."
The tall girl knew perfectly well that last sentence was intended for her, but she only replied with a new shrug and changed the subject:
"It's funny you're not upset."
"Why would I be upset?"
Ymir clicked her tongue.
"In physical prowess, Mikasa massacred us all, including you. Yet you've never been frustrated or scared like the others, it doesn't bother you that a chick can beat the crap out of a big guy like you? What happened to your male pride?"
Amos sighed in exasperation.
"'Male pride' as you say is one of the dumbest concept there is. If there is some kind of competition between men and women, I don't give a damn about it. I don't see why I should put myself on a pedestal because my sexual organs are dangling. And about Mikasa, I know very well why she's stronger than me and I also know that I'll never be as strong as her despite all my will. As a result, I work around the problem intelligently to prevent her from defeating me."
"But I'm not stupid, a little while longer and I'll never be able to beat her in hand-to-hand combat again... In a fair fight at least."
"Anyway," he continued aloud, stretching and turning to the little blonde, "have you chosen which armed corps you are going to join?"
"The Scouts," she replied without hesitation.
Amos gritted his teeth, he tried not to let it show but his facade shattered as Christa hugged him.
"Since no one wants me within the Walls, I will go outside to forge my own future. It was you who taught me that, to take control of my destiny, now I have to fly with my own wings."
Nox wrapped his arms around the little angel, and hugged her as hard as he could without hurting her.
"There are people who want you here," he said sincerely, "I love you so much little sister..."
Christa smiled broadly, happy about the warmth and sincerity in her big brother's words.
"I know, I love you too."
Ymir was a little uncomfortable, she felt like an intruder in an intimate family moment. She was surprised, however, to see Amos beckoning her to approach.
"Bring you ass here big bitch, for better or for worse you are part of the family."
Christa punched him in the ribs before encouraging her girlfriend to join them too.
The freckled girl approached hesitantly, before being grabbed by the two blondes and forced to join in their hug.
Ymir blushed as she had blushed during her first kiss with Christa when she felt their arms close around her waist, not knowing what else to do, she ended up hugging them back.
" It's nice." She thought, squeezing tighter. "A demon and a goddess, it really is ironic now that I think about it, but I could have found a much worse family."
There was a comfortable moment of silence, before Amos spoke again:
"I promise I'll find a way to join the Scouts, you won't go out there without me."
(-)(-)(-)
Although their workload was greatly reduced after graduation, cadets still had to take care of several things before the award, such as maintaining the walls. Sections of the 104th were divided between all over the Trost district to clean the guns to keep them working and spruce up the barrier a bit.
A crowd had gathered around the road to the exit to greet prominent members of the Survey Corps: Commander Erwin Smith, the blonde-haired leader of the corps, Hanji Zoë, a scientist squad leader, and the Captain Levi, the short dark-haired soldier who was apparently Humanity's strongest soldier. If the rumors behind him were half true, the fate of mankind was in good hands.
"Make way!" someone announced.
"Commander Erwin!" another guy shouted. "Kill all those bastards!"
"Look, it's Captain Levi," another pointed out. "They say he is a one man army."
The one-man army snorted and muttered in exasperation:
"Shut up…"
Standing alongside Franz, Hannah, Amos, Mikasa and Armin, Eren looked happy for the first time in years:
"It has changed a lot in five years. Lots of people rely on the Survey Corps now."
"It's because they were all brutally brought back to reality," Amos explained, drawing all the attention to himself. "Before Maria, people didn't care about what was beyond the walls, they only cared about their lives, as a result they didn't understand the point of having explorers, they were only seen as lunatics running to their deaths in hostile territory. But now that the titans have managed to cross a Wall they're taking them much more seriously, because a possible reconquest of Wall Maria would have a direct impact on their lives.
Eren's face darkened almost immediately.
"So they're just doing it out of selfishness," he realized disappointed.
"Sorry if I ruined your good mood," the blond apologized with a hint of regret.
Jaeger shook his head.
"You don't have to, I needed to hear that," he sighed, waving his hand to let him know he wasn't upset. "Sometimes I would like to see what you see, it will save me from getting carried away like a kid."
"You'd end up drinking if you saw Humanity as I do," Amos mused before choosing to sweeten the mood rather than ruin it further.
"If that's the only thing to make you happy," he said before squinting in false concentration, "I seeeee… a suicidal bastard."
Eren frowned and turned to him with an annoyed expression while their comrades hid their smiles.
"Asshole," he finally said, smiling in return, "now I get why Christa hits you so often."
Taking advantage of the newly found good mood, Franz saw fit to add:
"In any case, with the total renovation of the artillery, we are prepared for any kind of attacks now. The sight of them alone should be enough to scare even the Colossal Titan."
"Sure," Hannah said with a smile.
Amos slapped his forehead on hearing something so stupid.
"It's this kind of lax, mindless behavior that is the root cause of Maria's downfall."
Eren, however, made his opinion known out loud:
"That's a load of bullshit, you stupid couple!" he growled outraged
Said couple started blushing furiously.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Do not insinuate that we look good together! Hannah protested, looking away.
"Don't exaggerate, Eren" added Franz in the same tone.
Amos rolled his eyes and muttered something unintelligible as Eren continued to boil.
"Amos Nox?"
All pairs of eyes turned to the new arrivals: two MPs with surprisingly serious looks.
" Already?" Amos thought. "I thought I had until the end of the day at least."
"Yes?
"Please follow us."
He gritted his teeth in frustration but ended up nodding under the worried gazes of his comrades.
"What is happening?" Armin asked, a little nervous.
"It's nothing," the blond with green eyes replied, trying to reassure them, "I know what this is about. I will join you in a moment."
With that, he followed the soldiers, ignoring the worried faces watching him, though on the inside he was frustrated.
They walked for nearly forty minutes through the city and its crowds, until they reached the door that led into Wall Rose. There, he had the unpleasant surprise to discover that a stagecoach and an escort armed with rifles were waiting for him.
The coachman opened the door for him, but he refused to get in.
"Apologies," he said with a somber tone, "but I'm valedictorian and I can't leave without honoring the last muster."
"Excuse us, milord, but the orders are coming from above."
Amos hated being called "milord," so he decided to ditch the politeness.
"Listen to me, your only job today is to escort me, isn't it?"
They nodded after a moment of hesitation.
"Very well, then you have the whole day free. And I have duties to accomplish, I will return when I'm done."
"Milord ..." an MP started to protest.
"That is my decision," he snapped, "and you will comply with it whether you want it or…
A gigantic explosion echoed from the outer wall of the city of Trost, Amos jumped before he had even finished his sentence and turned around, eyes widening.
The Colossal Titan was back, its hideous skinless head clearly visible even from across the town. Nox remained paralyzed in place for a few seconds, only coming to his senses when the door that connected Rose to Maria was pulverized by the creature's imposing foot.
A series of panicked screams escaped from the streets and echoed through his ears to reverberate in his skull, making him fully aware of the magnitude of the disaster.
Predation suddenly filled his emerald eyes, and he took a step forward, only to be grabbed by the shoulders.
"Milord!" one of the panicked officers yelled. "We must leave, quickly!"
Amos nudged him in the stomach, ran to the nearest building, and flew away with his ODM gear, ignoring the calls and pleas of the MPs.
"Go to Hell! I refuse to leave!" he roared inwardly as he headed straight for Headquarters. "I have a position to uphold!" He thought about his comrades. "And I will not flee!"
(-)(-)(-)
The entire 104th cadet corps had gathered in the courtyard of Headquarters. Most were terrified, but managed to swallow their fear. They had trained for this moment, now it was their duty to defend their lands.
"All squads will separate as we have practiced," Captain Weilman ordered, almost panicking. "Under the command of the Garrison, you will be responsible for supplying, transmitting information and of course, eliminating the Titans! The counter-offensive squads will take the vanguard, the cadets will take the middle guard led by the support squad, the rear guard will go to the Garrison elites!"
Standing in the front row, Amos couldn't believe his ears.
"The elite squads in the rear and the cadets to the slaughter... Bunch of fucking incompetent cowards."
"I expect you to hold all your positions knowing that the Vanguard has been wiped out!"
There were several shocked gasps from the cadets. Things were going from bad to worse.
"It's the truth!" his voice cracked. "The outer door was kicked in, the Titans entered. This means the Armored Titan is likely to appear. If that happens, the inner door will also be destroyed!"
"The soldiers behind him are scarred shitless and they haven't even fought yet, that means we won't have any reinforcements from the 'elite'. We'll have to fend for ourselves until the evacuation is complete."
A crowd of frightened murmurs passed through the ranks of the cadets, as if death itself hovered over their heads.
"Silence!" Weilman ordered. "The counter-offensive takes place at the front! Your mission is very simple: defend Wall Rose at all costs until the evacuation is complete. Everyone remember, desertion is punishable by execution."
"I'll be happy to keep that detail in mind."
"Sacrifice your heart for Humanity!"
"Yes sir! they all replied."
With the debrief over, many cadets ran to their respective squads to prepare for battle. Unfortunately, many began to panic, including Jean.
"Why did this have to happen today?" he mumbled to himself, frightened. "One more day and I would have been living in the Interior."
He wasn't helped when he saw another cadet throw up his guts as Christa tried to comfort him.
Amos took a cigarette out of his jacket pocket and lit it. He let the smoke infiltrate his lungs before lifting his lips to the sky to exhale loudly, it was only when he was about to take his second puff that he felt a bead of sweat running down his forehead. A little surprised, he picked it up with his fingertip and examined it carefully, before noticing that his whole hand was shaking.
"I'm scared," he finally concluded, drawing on his cigarette, "Of course I'm scared, otherwise I'd be a fool."
He took a very long puff, before crushing his cigarette butt on the floor and cracking his fingers.
"I got work to do," he announced aloud before noticing a cadet panting on all fours.
Her brown hair tied in a ponytail was tousled, her usually tanned skin was pale as death, and her face was drenched in sweat.
"Sasha?" he finally recognized her.
No answer. He grabbed her by the armpits and forced her to stand.
"Come on Potato girl, on your feet!"
"I'm sorry," she said suddenly, "I ..."
Her mouth opened and closed several times, blowing her gasping breaths in his face at the same time. She tried to speak again, but again no words were pronounced. She gestured to him, perhaps asking how he was doing or seeking help.
Amos had to bite his tongue to fight off his own disgust, he took her in his arms and hugged her as hard as he could.
"There, there, calm down," he whispered in her ear, "focus on my voice and my breathing. We're both going to take a deep breath at the same time, okay? One, two, three."
Sasha inhaled loudly through her nose, before exhaling even louder through her mouth. They repeated the operation five times before she finally regained some semblance of calm, but her heart was still racing.
"Are we going to die?" she finally let out, hugging him as hard as she could in her limp, trembling arms.
"In a little over sixty years, I think," he replied lightly, "That is of course, if Connie doesn't dump his flu on us like he did last winter."
He felt the young girl smile very slightly against his cheek, she tightened her grip to the point of planting her nails in the neck of the young man who did not flinch.
"A-aren't you scared?"
"Of course I'm scared," he said still in the same tone, "only suicidal idiots like Eren wouldn't be scared in this situation."
She smiled once more, before taking a deep breath.
They stood there for a few seconds as the soldiers fussed around them. Some were frantically checking and rechecking their gear. A few huddled in corners to say goodbye or to offer prayers to the higher entity they believed in. Most looked trance-stricken, each haunted by the thoughts that tormented men and women facing death.
"I don't want to die," she finally admitted on the verge of tears.
"If you die, I promise to put a sack of potatoes on your grave every Sunday.
Sasha chuckled stupidly as she lightly punched him in the ribs.
"And I'll have your headstone engraved with, 'Here lies Sasha Braus, the 104th Potato.'"
This time, she let out a small peal of laughter and hit him with more conviction.
Satisfied, Amos wanted to release her, but she held on stubbornly.
"Can we stay like this? Just a little more..."
"Sasha..." He almost pleaded, he truly hated being touched, especially by women.
"Please," she begged.
Nox sighed in defeat, and finally relented after she promised not to take too much of his time.
"I heard you saved Samuel," he said to change the subject. "How is he?"
"They took him to a hospital here in Trost. As he cannot fight they said they will evacuate him with the others when they can."
"Good job Sasha, it's thanks to you that he's still alive."
"But what if he isn't evacuated in time? We are soldiers, but we are not one of their priorities. We're their human shields, but they eat better than us."
"Sasha..."
"You know, it's easy to learn about people by watching how they eat," she muttered, ignoring him. "I miss watching you..."
"Pervert," he whispered, and she gave him a little nudge.
"Christa nibbles to look fancy like some noble lady, but stuffs herself when no one is watching.
"That's...surprisingly correct," he mused, genuinely impressed.
"Ymir likes to act selfishly, but I know she stole food to give to children. Eren doesn't care about taste and treats his food like a rock in his path."
She took a deep breath and continued:
"I've never been able to figure you out," she confessed, "you eat methodically, as if you were measuring your food without savoring it… not even a little bit… it's really sad to see someone treat food like that …"
"That's exactly what I do," Amos admitted, suppressing a laugh. "I've always been afraid of gaining weight."
Sasha's eyes widened.
"Oh… so that was it…"
He nodded before smiling at her.
"Feeling better, now? he asked, releasing his grip.
"Yes," she replied, smiling despite her shakings, "thank you."
"AMOS NOX?!"
The tall blond rolled his eyes at hearing the panicked voice of Weilman, he saluted him.
"Sir?"
"You can fuck your girlfriend later! I've assigned you to lead the 21st squad! Offer your heart to Humanity!"
"Yes sir! he replied as Sasha turned scarlet. "I'll have your head on a spike if you dare run away!"
He greeted the native of Dauper with a nod which she returned.
"It's time," he mused before recovering his natural expression for the first time since his little escapade in Sina, he joined his already assembled team.
There were two girls and two boys, Nox noted with displeasure that they all seemed relieved to have the valedictorian as their leader. But the shiver that ran through them when they saw his face pleased him to see.
"Okay," he growled, clapping his hands, "I'm Amos Nox, your squad leader! Introduce yourselves!"
"Marcus Zeike," said a tall, brown-haired booby.
"Helena Vaughner," said a tanned brunette.
"Alexei Grobner," said a curly blond.
"Amelie Silias," greeted another lighter-skinned brunette.
"As we explained to you earlier, the objective is to slow the advance of the titans in order to allow the evacuation of the civilians. I personally have another goal: I wish to keep you all alive."
His squad's eyes gleamed with hope.
"I make no promises to you that I will succeed, I can only promise to do my best, and for that I need you to listen to my every directive. If I tell you to attack, you attack, if I tell you to hide, you hide. If I decide to retreat you leave in a second, I don't care if you have a golden opportunity to kill a titan, you retreat if commanded! Is that clear?!"
"Yes sir! »
"I'm not done yet!" Amos barked. If I tell you to abandon me, you abandon me! If I tell you not to save one of your teammates, you obey!
This statement shocked his team, but he didn't stop.
"I prefer to tell you right away: I am responsible for your lives. If I ever have to give one of you up to save the rest of the squad, I will. If I ever have to sacrifice one to save two, I will. If I die, you have orders to retreat. Is that understood?!"
"Yes sir!"
"That's what I like to hear! We will move when the order is given!"
"Yes sir!"
The wait was a real torture for his squad, having nothing else to add, Nox wallowed in silence and lit a cigarette. Devoured by stress, Marcus asked him for one, which he gave.
Three minutes later, the voice of a lieutenant rang in their ears:
"Squad 21! Deploy!"
"Yes sir!"
(-) (-) (-)
Squad 21 was deployed to the west of the city, from there, Amos could see the extent of the disaster and let out an exasperated grunt.
"Looks like the vanguard has been completely annihilated," he remarked to the horror of his team, he glanced back before continuing, "and it looks like the 'elite troops' of the Garrison are a bunch of incompetents. The evacuation is far from over."
"W-what do we do?"
"We're doing our job," he replied flatly, "we're killing as many titans as we can while staying alive until we can safely retreat."
He turned to his terrified squad, and performed a perfect salute.
" For Humanity, let us offer our hearts!"
"Yes!" they yelled in response though they were still shaking.
Satisfied, Amos returned to the front.
"Charging blindly is stupid, we're smarter than them so we have to act smart. We'll lure the Titans one by one down an alley of tall buildings like this one," he said, pointing the tip of his sword at the spot. "We're going to split into two groups: two watchers and three killers. We'll alternate to save our gas. Helena and Alexei you will be the first watchers, watch out for aberrants, one of you will go to this bell tower, the other to the highest peak of this school. Alexei you watch the South and the West, Helena the North and the East. Marcus and Amelie you lie in ambush behind the chimneys of those large houses, I will be the bait to attract the eleven meters titan that is coming."
The squad held their breath when they saw the huge obese creature with the bald head and the thick mustache, they swallowed before nodding.
"Squad 21, formation!"
"Yes sir!"
True to his plan, Amos waited for each member of his team to be at their post, before luring the huge titan to him by planting a grappling hook at each end of the street, he hanged like a drying sheet.
The creature approached dangerously, but the young man did not panic and waited patiently for his prey to come to him.
"Now!"
Marcus hooked his grappling hook on the creature's neck and sped straight to its weak point, alas, his gash wasn't deep enough. Amelie… did not move.
Amos' eyes widened in anger as he saw the girl shiver in fear against her chimney, her tearful gaze mesmerized by the horror.
The Titan stretched out his hand towards the blonde who was still furious, but he applied his backup plan. He unhooked his grappling hooks before sending a surge of gas to pass over the limb that was trying to grab him, he then ran along the arm, fired his grappling hook into the creature's skull to propel himself past his head, and used a final burst of gas to project himself onto the back of his neck to sever the weak point.
The obese titan collapsed on the ground, with a disgruntled Amos on its back. The latter flew towards Amelie's position, and glared at her with such a terrifying look that she flattened herself against her fireplace.
"Failure, I can tolerate," he said coldly as Marcus joined them, "but inaction? We're lucky I'm the valedictorian, there's not even a handful of us who would have avoided something like this."
"I-I'm sorry," the girl whimpered, "I was s-so scared to die..."
"It's all right," wanted to reassure the tall brown, "at least no one is hurt."
Amos was about to yell at him when he heard Alexei scream from his steeple:
"Watch out! An aberrant!"
Nox looked up, and saw a ten-meters tall creature charging straight at them. He barely had time to push gas to throw himself back before it hit the roof he was on. It grabbed Marcus and chewed him greedily before he even had time to scream, Amelie had managed to escape.
Amos reacted quickly, and brought down the titan with a surgical blow. It wallowed on the building and crashed into it before it began to evaporate.
"Alexei!" the enraged emerald-eyed teen roared. "How could a Ten Meters Deviant come this far from the west without you seeing it?!"
In shock, the curly blond began to stutter:
"There…there were so many titans in the South…"
"He got distracted...my watcher got distracted after barely two minutes...what the hell is that bunch of incompetents?! I was not expecting four Mikasas but still…"
The next moment, a grappling hook planted itself right next to Alexei, and the curly blond could only watch his death come as Helena decapitated him.
Amos did not believe what he saw.
"What the fuck is this shit?" he sighed in depressed tone.
The tanned brunette had tears in her eyes, and a murderous expression on her face. She turned to him with a murderous look, then he understood, and he heaved an exasperated sigh:
"Great ... a mad girl in love."
Helena planted her grappling hook on the roof where her squad leader was and rushed at him, the latter dodged the attack without difficulty.
" You piece of trash!" she screamed, trying to cut him into slices. "Asshole! Why didn't you save Marcus?! You're the valedictorian! You're the best! Why did you let him die?!"
Amos parried her last attack with one blade and pierced her throat with the other, Helena choked on a fit of bloody coughing before dying. Nox sighed again and looked in turn at the corpses that used to be his subordinates, less than two minutes ago. Then he heard Amelie scream in horror. He tilted his head forward to look down the street, and saw the girl's head being shoved inside the mouth of a four meters titan before its jaws closed on her neck.
The young man's only reaction was to raise an eyebrow, then to go back to the position Alexei used to occupy in order to judge his situation and to locate all the tallest titans. He clicked his tongue when he saw that all the squads west of his position had been wiped out, and two titans of nine and seven meters, were advancing towards the rear guard.
"So that's how it is," he sighed aloud, "what a failure... I understand now why he chooses and trains his own troops ... this situation is ridiculous..."
After noticing that his blades were dull, he unclipped them and took two from Alexei's decapitated corpse.
"Well," he said as he recovered, "since I have to do everything by myself, I might as well see the work properly done."
With that he flew towards the seven and nine meter titans he had spotted, calculated in half a second the perfect trajectory to take them down in one go, planted his grappling hook on the back of the taller's skull and killed them both by tracing a curve that passed in front of their respective necks.
"Phew," he blurted, landing on another roof as the giant bodies crumbled, "I don't even know what to think anymore...I know I'm better than everyone else, I've been training my whole life to be better than all the others, but for the chasm to be so wide…"
He heard a female scream and turned his head, in the distance he saw Hannah, the freckled redhead and 'fake-girlfriend' of Franz being grabbed by a ten-meter titan. While knowing he was too far away to intervene, he nevertheless went in her direction.
The young girl was already almost completely chewed up when he brought down her devourer with a perfectly mastered maneuver, he was no less depressed when he landed on the roof next to it. Helena's words echoed in his head as Hannah's severed feet fell to the ground.
"Is that really how they see me? Some kind of superior being who will take care of all their problems because he is better than them? Is that why they don't give themselves the means to succeed on their own? I wonder if Captain Levi has to deal with this kind of bullshit on a daily basis..."
A drop of water fell on the back of his hand, before being followed by her little sisters. Amos rolled his eyes, and welcomed the cold shower as a refreshing pleasure.
"All my life I have been surrounded by competent people...", the images of Reiner, Bertholdt, Mikasa, Annie, Armin, Christa, Ymir, Eren, Connie, Jean and Sasha appeared in his mind, "Even within the 104th, I found people with whom I would have loved to work today. But dealing with guys like my squad… what was I supposed to do with that? Was there a workable solution I hadn't thought of? What am I supposed to do on my own? I can't build a World simply with the sheer force of my arms... I guess I'll have to pile mountains and mountains of corpses..."
He let out a bitter laugh.
"I know I'm a monster, and I have to be one… but do I really have to stay that way my whole life? Did I make a mistake? I don't know what to think anymore... a shame for someone like me..."
Still feeling a little depressed, he began to wander his gaze haphazardly, and raised his eyebrows in surprise.
There, in the street where he had slain the titan who had devoured Hannah, he saw Armin cowering against the wall, motionless and alone.
After checking that there were no enemies nearby, Amos descended to his level and approached him.
"Armin?" he called before putting a hand on his shoulder. "Armin?"
The latter cried out in panic and pushed him back, revealing his face distorted by emotions as violent as he was horrified.
Amos slapped him.
Taken by surprise, the little blond was forced to turn his head to the side, before returning to the valedictorian looking at him with bewildered eyes. He mumbled unintelligible words while massaging his burning cheek.
With the back of his hand, Nox struck him a second time, forcing him to put his hands on each side of his head.
"Armin," he warned, more exasperated than angry, "either you snap out of it immediately, or I'll slap you out of it and I won't hold back if I have to. What do you choose?"
The little blond raised his head, and stared at him with a look that betrayed his incomprehension.
"W-why?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you wasting your time with a weakling?"
Amos raised his eyebrows at the sincerity of the question, he glanced right and left, before sighing and sitting down in front of his comrade. He couldn't help but smile at their awkward situation, they were calmly settled in the middle of Hell while other cadets were dying. But maybe he needed to convince his little blond friend as much as to convince himself.
"Because that weakling is smart," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "you think I've spent the last three years sharpening your wits so you can slay titans by force?"
Armin widened his eyes, and remembered the many chess games they had played, the many discussions and debates they had had, the many books they had read, and the many strategies they had developed.
"You…you did all this…to train me?"
"I never leave anything to chance, little head," he says, before recalling the incompetence of his squad, "even if chance does to take me by surprise from time to time."
He sighed before continuing:
"Armin, the real strength of Humanity has never been its physical strength, it has always been its intelligence. It is through intelligence that we have been able to build places like this city, develop weapons like ODM and forge swords like ours. And it is for this reason that, in my eyes, you are a very valuable asset."
"And a mainstay for my sanity considering the morons surrounding us."
The little blond couldn't believe his ears.
"But… But I only managed to get my whole squad killed… Eren… He… He sacrificed himself to save me… While I was powerless to do anything…"
Amos felt a thunderbolt explode inside his skull, for a brief moment, his eyes widened in sadness and regret as well as guilt made him shiver. The sour taste of defeat filled his mouth.
"Eren..."
(-)(-)(-)
Eren was lying on the ground, covered in sweat, gasping for air, his muscles ached, his limbs felt heavier than the walls and he was so dizzy he could have thought he was drunk.
Amos had hardly broken a sweat, he was standing with his arms crossed, eyeing the native of Shinganshina from head to toe.
"All right, that's enough." He said, clasping his hands.
"N-no…" Eren protested. "I can still…"
Amos had no patience for Jaeger's stubbornness, he grasped him by the hair and forced him to sit.
"Ouch!" His victim yelled weakly. "Let me go!"
"It's humiliating, isn't it?" Amos taunted.
"Yes!"
"Then free yourself from my grasp."
Eren weakly tried to raise an arm, but his limb went back to dangling like a noodle.
"Fuck…"
Amos rolled his eyes in amusement, and hoisted his apprentice on his back.
"Stop being so harsh on yourself, moron." Nox sighed. "Your limits are made to be broken, but as soon as you break your limits, new ones will appear. A few weeks ago, you would have been unable to do what you did today."
"If you say so." Eren grumbled.
Amos nudged him in the ribs.
"Gah! All right, fine, I did good today, I'll do better tomorrow! Happy?!"
"Very." Amos chuckled as he was taking him to the dormitory.
Eren just groaned again, yet a comfortable silence installed itself between the two friends
"Hey, Amos?"
"Yes?"
"Thanks… for training me."
"No worries, and thank your for not being the pain in the ass I expected you to be."
Eren wanted to hit him in retaliation, but had only enough strength to raise a finger. He groaned in frustration.
"You know, one of this days, I'll reach your level… and then I'll kick your ass."
Amos burst out laughing, an honest and genuine laugh.
"I'd almost pay to see that. Just don't waste the time I've spent training you by dying too early, I'm not done with your education yet, you suicidal moron."
Eren snorted loudly.
"I'll survive." He swore as much to himself as he swore to Amos. "Then I'll kick your ass."
Amos just laughed again.
(-)(-)(-)
Amos wasn't laughing anymore, his face was solemn, his emerald eyes shone with sadness. He shook his head and let the predation flow through his mind, he would find a time and place to mourn later.
"Mikasa is going to be hard to deal with…" He thought.
"My squad is dead too."
Armin widened his eyes once more.
"You really thought I was infallible too…" He remarked with a bit of shame.
"The path we have chosen is the path to victory, and it will be strewn with corpses from the beginning to the end. We won't be able to save everyone, no matter how good, strong or smart we are."
He kneeled to extend his hand to him, Armin hesitated a moment before grabbing it and allowing his friend to get him back on his feet.
"What we can do, however, is keep moving forward for all those who have fallen. If Eren chose to die to save you then it was his choice, and you should respect that. If there is one thing that could not be taken away from this suicidal moron, it was his determination. If he chose to bequeath it to you then you must carry it on your shoulders, in his memory. On the other hand, if you feel sorry for yourself and let yourself die, then his sacrifice will lose all meaning, he will indeed have died for nothing and his life will never have had any value."
Armin froze in place and gasped, thinking frantically over the taller blond's words. Unfortunately for him, he had little time to put his thoughts in order, because an aberrant six meters tall was heading straight in their direction.
The little blond widened his eyes in terror, before turning to his comrade who was looking at the creature with a disinterested look.
"Let's go to the rooftops," he said.
Once out of reach, they saw the titan continue on its way and rush as if it had not seen them. Nox huffed before finally hearing the retreat signal.
Armin was tempted to escape directly onto the walls, but he no longer had enough gas to pull off such a climb. So he waited to see what his friend would do.
"Do you have enough gas left to retreat?" the latter asked.
The little blond shook his head sadly.
"Then let's rob those corpses," he said, pointing his sword at the mounds of bodies scattered on the road.
"Eh?" Armin exclaimed in bewilderment.
"Do you think their canisters are still of any use to them?"
"N-no…"
"Then let's get them back, their misfortune will help save our lives, and maybe those of other cadets."
"Is… is it the same as with Eren?" The flabbergasted little blond wondered. "To give meaning to the dead... even the smallest meaning possible... to give value to their sacrifices... How...?" How…?"
"How do you do this?" he asked aloud.
"Hmm?
"How do you…accept reality so easily?"
Amos didn't answer immediately, and his gaze wandered to the horizon, there was only one possible explanation for him.
"I'm an asshole."
With that, he descended to the crushed and chewed up corpses, and began to check the gas levels in their canisters.
"I don't think you're an asshole, Amos." Armin mused as he climbed down beside him to do as he was doing. "If you had been, you never would have wasted so much time getting me back on my feet, no matter what values you see in me...I believe...You're more confused with yourself than you want to admit… but that you keep a cool head to keep me alive… I… Thank you… I will return that trust to you."
He collected two canisters from a body severed at the chest level, it was hard for him to focus given the bloody carnage around them."
"I don't know who you were...but thank you for your gas...I'll use it wisely...I promise you..."
Once they were ready, they returned to the rooftops to draw up a plan. It was at this moment that they saw many cadets gathered on the roofs in the same block, yet another exasperated sigh escaped the lips of the tall blond.
"Looks like you're not the only one I'm going to have to smack on," he growled, motioning for Arlet to follow him.
Armin couldn't help but let out a small smirk, Amos may have been upset but he kept moving forward and helping the others, even though he could have retreated and let them die to form a new plan with the soldiers of the Garrison."
As he flitted after him, the little blond felt the tears welling up in his eyes while thinking about the death of his best friend. He sniffled, and gave a determined look.
"Eren… Forgive me… I will fight… I will give everything I have to make our dream come true! I promise you… Eren… Your death will not be in vain!"