Hello there,
Chapter 14 - A Terrible Mistake
Chapter 15 - The Defeated
Chapter 16 - Duty & Shell
Chapter 17 - Past & Future
Chapter 18 - A Cruel World
Chapter 19 - Royal Blood
Chapter 20 - Her Eyes
have already been written and are available right here on my
w w w . p a t r(e)on (slash) MonsieurLAH
Enjoy Reading!
Chapter XIII : Resolution
Sitting at his bedroom desk, with a screwdriver in his mouth and a bevy of tools and mechanical parts strewn across the table, lit by the glow of two candles, Amos was tinkering with his omni-dimensional gear.
During his classes, he had had many ideas to improve his combat effectiveness, that included stuffing his clothes with mechanisms and weapons of all kinds. Of course, the more loaded he was, the heavier would be and the more difficult it would be to fly. This is why he had strapped weights to his body during the vast majority of his ODM workouts.
Finally, in theory this new equipment would give him a non-negligible advantage on the outside, in practice it could end up being completely the opposite. And he was going to have to train to determine the weak points of his improvements.
He glanced at his pocket watch, and realized he only had five hours and nine minutes to sleep before doing his morning chores.
Although a little disappointed to have to stop there, the nobleman resolved to put off his tinkering until later, extinguished his candles and slipped under his blanket.
Tomorrow would mark the start of Eren's training with him, and the tall blond wondered if his friend had managed to fall asleep. Amos scratched his temple in his bed, he had 28 days to turn the native of Shiganshina into a reliable fighter, this task was not impossible, but between his power and his psychological weaknesses, that still represented a lot of work. The spoon episode had the merit of highlighting the second condition required for a successful transformation. However, the noble was more worried about the fact that Eren failed to close his wounds on their own. This could only mean one thing, his friend doubted himself, as it had happened to Trost before he managed to heal his wounds following Armin's speech. Jaeger couldn't stay like that, he had to become a pure asset, a formidable weapon like Captain Levi. And for that, he had to change his mentality. While staring at the Moon through his window, Amos calmly pondered Eren's condition. He theorized that his hatred of the titans had completely blinded him for all these years, and thus prevented him from growing into the soldier Humanity needed. But all was not lost, Jaeger had potential, his iron will and sense of vengeance were formidable weapons with which the noble could work. Eren was going to have to look at himself in the mirror to finally enter his chrysalis and moult, and Amos would not hesitate to push all the buttons necessary for the success of this metamorphosis. The question now was how he was going to go about it: with an open heart, a closed fist… perhaps a little bit of both?
Hannibal thought of the fact that the other cadets would only join their squad in two weeks. Which meant that he had a fortnight before Mikasa would potentially put a spoke in his wheels… It saddened him to think like that given his respect for the oriental girl, but he had to take that into account.
"Eren…I will turn you into the soldier you always should have been…the one humanity desperately needs."
With these thoughts he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
(-)(-)(-)
"Captain?"
Levi was sipping his morning tea when the heir of House Hannibal called out to him, he looked up from his cup to stare into his eyes.
"What's the matter?"
"Today, I would like to base and devote Eren's training on his psychological state. I fear that his current mentality will hinder his progress."
The officer raised an eyebrow.
"Not that I disagree with your analysis, but do you honestly believe you can grow a couple of balls out of him in a day?"
"I'll grow a third if need be," the noble replied with a confident smile. "However, for that I need privacy. And I would like to know if it is possible for you to be discreet while we are talking. We will settle in the forest where you can observe us and listen to us while remaining hidden. But he must not suspect that anyone is listening to us."
Levi hesitated for a moment, before finding the terms acceptable and nodding his agreement. Amos thanked him before leaving to prepare the squad's scrambled eggs.
"Politics is said to be the art of manipulation." The captain mused as he sipped his tea."I wonder how he plans to do it."
(-)(-)(-)
"All right, Eren." Amos announced, motioning him to sit down on the grass. "We can start training."
The native of Shiganshina looked around him cautiously, his comrade had dragged him into the woods away from the squad in charge of keeping an eye on him. If he accidentally transformed and lost control there would be no one to stop him…although… The noble was wearing his ODM gear and was technically assigned to watch him as well. So he figured he would do.
"What are we going to start with?" He asked a little nervously.
"We will start by correcting your behavior."
Jaeger raised his eyebrows in astonishment.
"Uh...what do you mean?"
"Eren." Amos began, squinting. "Do you have any idea what situation we're in?"
This question caught him off guard, he lowered his head to think.
"I…" he hesitated before opening his mouth to close it. "Well… I feel like I'm going to say something stupid so I'll let you answer."
Amos chuckled.
"I'll take that as a good answer for now." He smiled, then looked serious again. "Eren, thanks to your new ability you have gained a unique status, an inestimable value. So much so that Major Erwin will be willing to sacrifice dozens, if not hundreds of soldiers to keep you alive."
The Shiganshina native opened his mouth blissfully, horrified by his comrade's words.
"I... I..."
"Without your power." The noble continued, ignoring him. "You would be cannon fodder. The kind of soldier who would sacrifice himself to allow Humanity to advance half a millimeter. The kind of soldier our comrades will be."
"Who…what…what?!"
Amos just shrugged as Levi frowned on his tree branch.
"Well, yeah..." the tall blond sighed. "During the next expeditions, it is more than likely that many soldiers will die to guarantee your safety, some may be part of our promotion. If that were to happen, what would you do?"
Eren was absolutely mortified by what he had just heard, the excruciating shivers that ran through his body crushing him with a pressure he had never known existed. He began to gasp before Amos slapped him behind the head.
"I'm waiting for an answer." he informed her soberly. "Right away, the first thing that goes through your head, your first instinct."
Stammering was his only response.
"I... I..."
The noble heaved a deep sigh, before sitting down in the grass as well.
"You would freeze." He concluded, staring into space. "As you're doing now."
Eren felt a blade pierce his heart, he lowered his head in shame and frustration, fists clenched in anger at himself.
"It's not surprising you know, Armin and Mikasa's reactions when they thought you were dead were quite similar."
Jaeger's eyes widened in horror and dropped his jaw.
"Eh?"
"During the Battle of Trost, I found Armin curled up in a fetal position in an alley while a titan was eating Hannah a few meters from him," explained the nobleman, looking at his comrade straight in the eye. "If I hadn't been around he would have been too shocked to fight back or run away. For Mikasa it was even worse, she literally tried to kill herself after learning about your death."
Eren didn't answer, he was paralyzed, horrified, stunned… He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to think. He was just… shocked and lost.
"I had to slap Armin twice and headbutt Mikasa to wake them up. And do you know what I told them? That if they quit now you'd be dead for nothing."
Amos did not even wait for his comrade to respond or react to continue:
"You sacrificed yourself to save Armin, you survived, yes, but you did it anyway. Tell yourself that Armin had to resolve to live with your death. That he managed to come up with two ingenious plans to enable the survival of many of our comrades. That he continued to advance in your memory despite the remorse that gnawed at him. The same went for Mikasa, despite the sorry state she was in, she fought to stay alive, she fought to protect our comrades. All this so as not to betray your memory and give meaning to your sacrifice. Now the situation is very different, you have a power that could allow Humanity to achieve great victories such as Trost in the future. But for that, soldiers will have to sacrifice their lives, and you like others will have to live with these sacrifices, and use the dedication of the men and women that will fall to move forward, in order to allow Humanity to guarantee its survival. It is your duty and your greatest responsibility as a soldier to carry the hopes and dreams of all our fallen comrades."
Eren felt a titanic pressure hit his shoulders, his hands began to shake.
"Wha-how could I do such a thing?"
"You already did," Amos said simply, drawing his attention, "when you closed Trost's breach. Dozens of Garrison soldiers sacrificed their lives to make it happen. Them, and some of our fellow cadets. Including Marco."
Eren suddenly raised his head, while Levi tilted his head, curious to know the reaction of the new member of his squad.
"What… what? he asked weakly. "Marco…"
"Got eaten," Amos said, looking him in the eye. "I only found out about it yesterday while consulting the list of victims. That's to tell you how quietly he died, no ultimate sacrifice in plain sight. He died in his corner, without any witnesses."
Jaeger stammered unintelligible words, taking his head in his hands. Marco… the eternal optimist, the one who was impossible to hate had been dead for several days, and he had never known anything about it.
"You didn't know it," the noble commented, looking away, "you didn't know it and yet you gave meaning to his sacrifice and value to his life. He is one of those who offered their breath to secure Mankind's first victory, a victory that would have been impossible without you."
Eren didn't answer anything, his mouth was dry and his eyes were empty.
"What I mean by that, you suicidal idiot, is that you can't keep fighting like this. Hatred and revenge only led to the deaths of Thomas, Nack, Millius and Mina. All for nothing."
The native of Shiganshina suddenly felt tears forming in his eyes, he tried to curl up on himself but Amos grabbed him by the collar and pressed his forehead against his.
"Enough," he ordered firmly, "I'm going to ask you the same thing I asked Mikasa: either you feel sorry for yourself, or you fight to the end to honor all those who died and all those who will die. I include your mother in this, do you intend to make her death meaningless by lamenting until the end of your days? Or are you going to get up, get stronger and fight heart and soul to give meaning to all those who died to allow Humanity to keep moving forward?"
Jaeger was frozen in place, flabbergasted, terrified, bewildered. His eyes wide enough to almost explode his retina, his mouth open to clinch the jaw. A flood of tears ran down his cheeks, his emotions shaking his body to the point of making his whole being tremble.
Levi almost let out an admiring whistle from his tree branch.
"He's breaking him down to rebuild him better, but is he really going to get there in one conversation?"
"Eren!" Amos growled loud enough to snap him out of his trance. "You have to give up your dreams of revenge and titan slaughter, or you'll be so obsessed with your bloodlust that you'll send other soldiers to their death like Thomas or Mina. Perhaps next time it will be Mikasa's turn! You must gather all the courage you are able to generate to keep moving forward, to carry the dreams, the hopes and the sacrifices of our comrades! Think about this; what do you care about the most?! Slaughter titans or protect Armin and Mikasa?!"
Jaeger didn't answer, he was broken, torn, tortured and tormented by the colossal dilemmas and stakes the noble had thrown in his face. Then he received a very powerful slap from this same nobleman. Eren threw his head back under the force of the blow, before returning to his interlocutor.
"Stop," he ordered, "stop moping. You will never accomplish anything and you will not honor any of our people by doing so. If you really want to move on, if you really want every one of their hearts to have value, then you'll have to ignore your emotions, ignore your desires, and smash through every obstacle in your path to succeed in what they're all hoping for. You won't be doing it alone, I will do the same, me and many others, like Captain Levi or Major Erwin. You simply have to align yourself with the level of requirement that we impose on ourselves, the level of requirement required for the scouts to carry the spirits of their fallen comrades. And for that, you have only one thing to do: fight, again and again, regardless of your feelings or your fears. If the world ever gets too cruel, you have to walk over it. But under no circumstances should you lose sight of the objective that each soldier has set for himself."
Without warning, the tall blond grabbed his comrade by the wrists, and lifted them until they were standing between their two faces.
"To succeed, you must keep a cool head and a clear mind. Your rage and those of ours must go into your fists. Every blow you strike will bear witness to the minds and souls of our comrades. And that's why I want you to make me a promise, Eren."
The concerned looked his interlocutor in the eyes, transcended by the speech of the latter and the power that all the deceased scouts through the generations were transmitting to him.
"If I ever were to die, whatever the circumstances, I would like you not to dwell on my fate. That you continue to fight no matter what and that you give your attention and your efforts to those who are still alive rather than to my corpse. This is the best favor you can give me."
Eren opened his mouth, stunned and stunned, before closing it and falling back into his trance. He had so much to take in, so much to think about, so much… He didn't even know where to start or which way to go. He was lost.
Amos finally stood up, and gave him a friendly pat on the back of the head.
"I'll let you think on it, don't worry about your afternoon chores, I'll take care of it. And don't worry about the captain, he knows about it and won't hold it against you."
Jaeger didn't even know what to say, neither "thank you" nor "ok", he just watched his friend leave thinking about everything that had just been said to him. Everything he had to do, everything he had to correct.
"I've been so obsessed with titans for so long…I didn't even notice how they didn't matter…I…I have so…I wasted so much time and energy… Thomas…Marco…"
"Eren!" Mikasa's voice roared in his mind. "I can't lose you in the name of revenge, it's not worth it to me."
Mikasa…Mikasa had been so right back then. It had no interest, no value, no sense to sacrifice lives as precious as those of his comrades to simply slaughter titans. These stupid creatures weren't worth his trying so hard to sacrifice everything. Armin and Mikasa were worth so much more in those eyes…
"Amos?!" he called suddenly.
The tall blond paused to turn back to him.
"Why are you doing all this?"
The question caught the nobleman off guard, he stared at his comrade hesitantly.
"Why do you devote so much energy to the war?" Eren finally asked eager to know the reasons why someone like the heir of House Hannibal had given so much and kept giving despite the difficulties. "Do you have a dream? An objective ? A reason that pushes you to move forward? If so, would you mind telling me?"
Amos… froze in place for a moment. Nobody knew his obsession, his reason for living, the fuel of his epic. No one except Historia... Even Ymir didn't know, his grandfather even less. It was his mother who had inspired him, it was she who had given him what he had always needed.
He was embarrassed to talk about them, especially since Levi was perched in a tree listening to them. But after a moment of reflection, he supposed he could share with Jaeger the dream that his own mother had passed on to him. If it could help him to see more clearly.
"I want to be a father," he blurted out suddenly. "I... We live in a shitty world. A world in which we are forced to be a piece of trash of the worst kind if we hope to survive."
The noble came back to sit next to his comrade, and gave him a sad, watery-eyed smile. Which shocked the native of Shiganshina.
"I resolved to this, to be the biggest asshole that Humanity would know to achieve victory. And I will do everything in my power to make sure my children don't have to be like me. May they grow up in a better world, a world that I would have built with the strength of my two arms and through an ocean of blood if necessary."
He burst into a nervous laugh, which made Eren flinch and worry Levi, before continuing:
"Watching my children grow up in a safer world, seeing them become better than I could ever be, that's my dream."
Jaeger didn't have the words, he stared at the nobleman's tearful reel with wide eyes and a haggard expression. The latter wiped his cheeks, and recovered his natural expression.
"I've been talking about myself a little too much lately," he noted absently.
With these words, he heaved a very long sigh and stood up.
"Well," he yawned, taking a cigarette out of his pack, "I'm going back to do my chores. Don't hesitate to come see me if you have any questions, but it would be better if you thought a little before we started your training. I warn you, I'm going to make you suffer like you've never suffered before, until the day of the expedition. We'll see how far you are ready to go and give yourself the means to do so."
Eren didn't answer, he just recorded the information and turned towards the horizon.
"Captain Levi is going to massacre you if he catches you smoking on duty," he pointed out.
"Let him," Amos replied, shrugging, "I need to relax a bit."
And Hannibal left, lighting his cigarette, leaving behind him a stinking cloud that rose to Levi's nostrils. The latter glared at the nobleman before returning his attention to Eren, curious to see how he would react.
The latter remained motionless for a while, and looked at his hand.
"That's weird," he mused as his life flashed before his eyes, "I feel like I've woken up from a stupid childhood dream. Do I…? Did I really spend all this time looking in the wrong direction?"
He thought back to all the times he had unleashed against the titans, their promises of a thousand torments and complete extermination, he thought back to the book of Armin and the Outer World which attracted him so much. He thought back to the fact that the people of Sina had no sense of priorities since they feared losing their privileges more than losing against the titans. But in the end he was like them, he had selfishly chosen to favor his hatred and his dream over his comrades. Mina, Nack and Millius… they were all dead because he had rushed headlong without thinking, because he had chosen hatred before his comrades.
"There is a difference between fighting for the freedom of mankind and rushing headlong like a degenerate into the jaws of a titan."
Eren snorted with contempt for himself, from the beginning Amos had gotten him pegged, he had sunk into his bullshit and had his people killed rather than fight to protect them. He really was a jerk.
"I'm going to ask you the same thing I asked Mikasa: will you feel sorry for yourself, or will you fight to the end to honor all those who have died and all those who will die?" I include your mother in this, you intend to make her death insignificant by lamenting until the end of your days? Or are you going to get up, get stronger and fight heart and soul to make sense of all those who died to allow Humanity to keep moving forward?"
Eren thought back to his mother, to her smile, to all the love she had given him while he spent his time getting mad at her. She had just wanted to keep him safe, she had feared for him because she loved him, and he had spat in the face of that love to follow his primal instinct. She had been devoured so that he survived, and by throwing himself into the mouth of this titan, he had almost made her sacrifice useless. Without his power, without a huge stroke of luck… He would have abandoned Armin and Mikasa, he would have destroyed everything that made his existence, everything he had sworn to fight for, all that out of pure selfishness.
Eren clenched his fists, and punched his face with all his might. He didn't stop there, he raged against his face again and again, until Levi appeared to grab her wrists.
"Stop," he ordered in a firm voice, "you're going to end up transforming and in that case I'll have to cut off your limbs. What's wrong with you screwing up your face like that?"
"Sorry captain," Jaeger groaned as a trickle of blood ran down his nose, "I was just slapping a dirty little brat... Who I'd like to get rid of for good."
Said captain raised an eyebrow before releasing his subordinate. Eren raised his head to meet his superior's gaze, allowing him to see the fire burning in his eyes.
"Fuck," Levi thought, slightly impressed, "Hannibal is damn efficient."
"Go wash your face and take your mind off things before you do your chores," he ordered simply. "Don't mess yourself up too much, you'll be drooling and bleeding enough tomorrow when your real training starts."
"Yes Captain," the young man greeted before heading for a bathroom.
As he walked, he thought back to his friend's dream. A safer world where he could see his children grow up in safety.
A similar image crept into his mind, of a world where Armin and Mikasa wouldn't have to fight every day just to live another day, a world where they would all have the opportunity to age peacefully realizing their dreams.
"That seems like a good reason," he thought with a smile, "it seems worth it to face it and fight to the end. This is what I have to fight for."
He entered a bathroom to wipe the blood off his already patched up face, he splashed water on it, before clenching his fists in determination.
"I will fight, again and again, so that they can be free. I have to fight..."
He stared at his own reflection in the mirror for a few minutes, repeating his new promise.
Tomorrow will mark a turning point in his life, tomorrow he would start moving in the right direction, tomorrow he would give his all.
(-)(-)(-)
Eren received a punch of incredible violence in the face and sprawled on the grass in front of the base. His body was covered with bruises and sores, his face had almost doubled in size.
"Let's keep going!" he roared, getting up immediately to get back on guard despite his hoarse breath.
Amos gave him a satisfied smile before following suit.
"Remember," he said as they circled around, "the rage goes into the fists, the head has to stay cool. You must analyze my movements to react accordingly, use your emotions to increase the force of your blows, but keep them under control or they will turn against you."
Eren looked at his hands.
"What kind of emotion do I need to feel to hit as hard as possible?"
"Very simple: think about your mother's death."
Jaeger stiffened in place, his eyes flashing with pure rage.
"Keep it under control," the noble chided, "rage in fists, head cool."
Eren took a very deep breath, his hands shaking with hate and anger as he tried to swallow his resentment.
"Come at me," Amos said with a smile.
And his comrade threw himself on him.
"Damn it," Oluo commented, looking at them sitting on the entrance stairs, "the noblish is going all out. He's been beating him up every morning for ten days and the little prick wants more."
"Eren is making progress," Eld noted, drinking a swig of tea, "his regeneration ability allows him to take it and get back up quickly. During the first day he rushed without thinking of a strategy. Now he is more measured and he uses his head. Externalizing in the morning allows him to have a clearer mind during his training in titan form."
"He made great progress in that area too," Petra added with a smile, he did not have a single loss of control. He moves correctly and he manages to reproduce the movements that Amos teaches him.
"His training in running was terrifying," Gunther pointed out, swallowing.
"Are you saying that because of how fast he ran or because of Hanji?" asked Eld.
Indeed, the scientist had been ecstatic at the grace with which the Rogue Titan moved, and had begged Eren to let her ride on his shoulder while he ran. She had then spent the entire race screaming with happiness, but she had screamed so loudly that the shifter had been unsettled to the point of knocking his knees together and wallowing miserably on the ground under the dismayed eyes of squad Levi. Which hadn't bother Hanji at all, for she had found the attraction so much fun that she absolutely wanted to get back into it. Unfortunately for her, Levi had not been amused at all by the cloud of dust Eren had kicked up as he had sprawled on the floor, and had instantly ended the scientist's happiness despite her protests and wayward tears worthy of an eight-year-old child whose vanilla ice cream had been confiscated. The captain watched as his new subordinate took a beating from the blows of the nobleman. So far, he was satisfied with his progress in both transformation and combat skills as well as behavior. He was acting like a real soldier, for the moment.
But what about his performance on the battlefield? How will he react when he will see his comrades die? Will he keep a cool head, succumb to hatred, or panic in terror? As of today, it was impossible to predict.
As for Amos, Levi was content to have him on hand. Her presence had allowed Eren to advance considerably in the space of only a few days, the shifter had stopped complaining or doubting himself thanks to his influence, and hadn't suffered the slightest loss of control during his training under his titan form.
The noble had a very sharp mind and good analytical skills, he spotted and corrected every mistake made by Eren. Including his balance problem and the way he fought when he was fifteen meters tall. He also had the idea to train the squad to face Eren in case they had to deal with another shifter. And he was developing tactics to fight alongside him that were theoretically interesting.
Amos' performance in ODM maneuver training and the seventeen titans he had slain in Trost might have convinced Levi to add him to his squad...but he was far from willing to give him a bit of trust, and Erwin planned to have him by his side on the expedition.
This would be very revealing as to the real abilities and mentalities of the two young recruits, in theory they were both serious assets, but it was on the battlefield that you discover your true allies.
Eren did everything in his power to ignore the excruciating pain radiating from his muscles, and continued attacking Amos. He unleashed a flurry of blows all parried by the nobleman, before suddenly spreading the latter's arms to headbutt him in the forehead.
When that happened, his eyes widened in surprise.
"I…I did it! I punched Amos! No one but Annie and Mikasa had ever…"
A devastating punch to the jaw interrupted his thoughts, Eren collapsed on the ground and spat out two incisors.
"Did you honestly think the fight was over after you managed to hit me?" the exasperated nobleman asked. "It didn't take much for you to let your guard down and lose your focus."
Jaeger straightened up with difficulty, and spat a trickle of blood on the ground.
"A'm not makshing che shame mistshake again," he said, showing a huge hole in his teeth.
"Well," the nobleman sighed, lowering his fists, "it will do for morning training. It is better that you regain strength for lunch before moving on to training in the afternoon."
"Okshay."
Amos put Eren's arm around his neck, and helped him walk to the other scouts. He set him down on a step of the stairs while his wounds steamed.
"You look like a human boiler," the noble remarked, chuckling.
A few smiles appeared on the faces of the members of squad Levi, Eren gave his comrade the middle finger.
"Fuck of*blarp," he yelped, spitting steam from his gum.
The scouts burst out laughing, causing the shifter to sulk.
"We're only teasing you Eren," reassured Petra by putting a hand on her shoulder, "you've made great progress in recent days, you can be proud of yourself."
He blushed when he heard this compliment and smiled again.
"By the way," Gunther said, "tonight is the ceremony of calling up young recruits. We were wondering if there were any in your class who wanted to join the Survey Corps."
"There are," the native of Shiganshina nodded, before lowering his head, "well there were, now I do not know."
"There will be at least five recruits who will join us," Amos affirmed, sitting down next to his comrade, "for the others I have a doubt."
"Which ones will join us?" Eren asked curiously.
"Mikasa and Armin to start with," the tall blonde listed, "then Reiner, Ymir, and Christa."
The shapeshifter didn't know what to make of that, he was glad his friends were sticking by his side but he didn't want them to risk their lives.
"Only five," Eld sighed, "and are they any good?"
"Mikasa and Reiner are the second and third in our class, Christa is sixth, Armin is very smart and Ymir is very strong although she did not make the top 10."
He shrugged.
"Hopefully Bertholdt will follow Reiner, and he finished fourth. For the others I really don't know. Sasha was terrified from the beginning to the end of the Battle of Trost, I won't blame her if she chooses to join the Military Police. Connie made it to the top 10 after Marco's death, but I sincerely doubt he would want to take advantage of this macabre opportunity to join the Scouts. Annie will go to Sina, that's 100% sure. And for Jean..."
He thoughtfully scratched his chin, to Eren's surprise.
"Maybe everything that's happened recently is making him reconsider," he sighed, shrugging again, "but I'm not sure."
"I'd be very surprised if horseface joins the Survey Corps," Jaeger growled, running his tongue over his freshly regrowed incisors. "I would consider him in a new light if he did."
"I don't think he really cares about your opinion," smiled Amos, stretching.
Eren snorted, but changed the subject.
"I feel like it's been ages since I've seen them," he sighed.
"Me too," the noble admitted, "can't wait to see Christa again."
This confession caught the shapeshifter's attention, and a detail came back to him.
"By the way, I wanted to ask you, how come you and Christa knew each other before our classes since you are noble?"
"That, Eren, is none of your business," the tall blond replied simply, staring at his comrade in the eye, "if Christa wants to talk about it, that's up to her, but if she doesn't, be nice not to insist."
Jaeger was officially intrigued, but settled for Hannibal's answer for now.
"Oi!" Levi called, approaching them. If you are done resting you two have chores to do before lunch. Get to work."
"Yes, captain."
(-)(-)(-)
Christa couldn't keep still.
She and her comrades had officially joined the Survey Corps last night, and as they toured their new base of operations under the direction of an officer, she couldn't help glancing at right and left looking for a particular person.
"Calm down, princess," Ymir told her, patting her on the head, "your noble brother will show up on his own."
"I'm just impatient," she replied, crossing her arms. "He said he'd find a way to join the Survey Corps and he kept his word. I just want..."
"To tell him how happy and proud of him you are and blablabla," the tall girl completed with a sigh, "under other circumstances I'd be jealous to the bone, you know?"
Christa blushed furiously, before giving her girlfriend a smile.
"Oh I know," she said teasingly, "he told me about the time he gave you the 'brother's talk.'
Ymir gritted her teeth in embarrassment remembering this episode, she had promised herself that day never to become Amos' enemy.
"What happened?" Connie, who'd been listening, asked.
This question drew the attention of the group to the tall girl who shook her head.
"That's none of your business, Chrome Dome," she replied firmly as her girlfriend giggled.
In Ymir's eyes, Amos was sometimes even worse than Mikasa when it came to protecting Christa, it wasn't such a bad thing but it was really terrifying.
"Hey guys ! called a voice they all knew.
The oriental of the group froze on the spot, and turned around, gasping:
"Eren!"
Her eyes widened as she saw her adoptive little brother on Amos' back, visibly exhausted.
"Eren!" she cried, rushing to his side. Are you okay? What's wrong?"
"It's nothing," the shapeshifter said embarrassedly as the noble let him get to his feet, "my training is just grueling."
"Did they do horrible things to you?" Mikasa asked worriedly. "Have they examined your body from every angle? Have you suffered psychological torture?"
The tall blond held back with all his strength from bursting out laughing, his rival was adorable when she was worried.
"No, Eren answered, blushing at his friend's behavior, none of that.
The young girl's eyes darkened suddenly, and she muttered between her teeth:
"That dwaf got a bit too loose in court, one of these days I'll make him pay."
"Wow, that's what I was afraid of."
"Relax Mikasa," Amos sighed, putting a hand on her shoulder and whispering in her ear, "he's just like you."
The Oriental girl froze in place, and grimaced in disgust.
"Are you kidding me?"
"Not at all, wait until you have a few years of experience under your belt before putting your plan into action, right now, he is much stronger than you."
Mikasa gritted her teeth, and snorted in anger.
"Wait a minute, are you talking about Captain Levi?" Eren wondered." Mikasa, what he did in court was necessary, and compared to the punches Amos gives me every morning, he went easy on me"
The oriental girl immediately turned a murderous glare in the direction of the noble who rolled his eyes.
"Not once did you complain…" he growled in exasperation. "But as soon as Mikasa is around you can't help but squeal."
"I do not squeal!" Jaeger roared in indignation, before noticing the appalling look his adopted sister was throwing at the tall blond.
The latter raised an eyebrow, before letting predation take hold of his emerald eyes.
"You have something to tell me?" He asked with a terrifying smile.
"H…hey," Armin stammered, trying to interpose, "you two calm down."
"You guys are super creepy," Eren added, a little taken aback by the violence in their eyes.
Amos sketched a big smile which annoyed Mikasa considerably, before a small blond head jostled Armin to throw herself into the tall blond's arms.
"Hey you," the noble said, hugging his sister against him.
"I've missed you," Christa replied, burying her face in his shirt.
"Yo!" Connie called. "Amos, Eren!"
"It's been a while," Sasha added.
Both young scouts were surprised, neither of them expected so many of their comrades to end up joining them.
"Are you guys all here together?" The native of Shiganshina wondered. "Have you all joined the ranks of the Survey Corps?"
"Do you see another explanation?" Connie smiled.
"So it's only Jean and Annie who joined the MPs?"
Amos then noticed the cadet approaching behind Eren's back, and allowed himself a smile of satisfaction.
"They're all here, all but Annie."
"No way." Jaeger said in shock when he saw Kirstein. "You too?"
"Marco is dead." He announced soberly.
Eren froze in place, before lowering his head.
"I know."
If Jean was surprised, he didn't show it.
"Apparently not everyone can make theatrical outings, we don't even know how he died. He died in his corner without anyone seeing him."
Eren felt down at the moment, he had lost another comrade, and he didn't know it until much later, when Amos told him.
'We should find a quiet corner where we can talk,' the nobleman suggested, 'we have a lot to talk about."
And that's what they did, without a word, they went to a nearby hangar where they could talk undisturbed.
"So..." The tall blond said, leaning against a crate. "If you have something to say, say it."
"Say Eren." Jean began immediately, "it seems that when you turned into a titan you tried to kill Mikasa. What exactly does that mean?"
Jaeger gritted his teeth, he had expected this question.
"That's not true." The oriental hastened to refute. "Eren tried to hit a fly."
Amos slapped his forehead, letting out an exasperated groan.
"You're making it worse." he informed her soberly as she glared at him.
"Mikasa." Jean went on. "Your cheek wound looks damn deep, when did you do that to yourself?"
The oriental tried to hide her scar behind her hair, but it was already too late.
Eren looked at the wound he inflicted on his lifelong friend with a heart heavy as lead.
"Apparently it's true." He finally admitted. "When I transformed I tried to kill Mikasa."
"Apparently?" Don't you remember? You were unaware of the existence of your titanic strength until then, and therefore you have no way to master it?"
This time, Eren shook his head with more conviction.
"No, I don't remember my first transformations. It wasn't until I started training since joining the Corps that I no longer had control or memory issues. It's difficult, but my biggest concern right now is trying not to tire myself too quickly when I'm exercising in my titan form. I will never lose control again, I swear."
Jean was a little reassured to hear that, but he was careful not to show it.
"Do you confirm all that, Amos?"
The tall blond shrugged.
"Eren gives his best from dawn to dusk to fully master his powers and become the best fighter he can be. I can say today that he is much more reliable and efficient than he was in Trost. He still has a long way to go, but you know him, he's not one to back down or go back on his word."
The noble's words warmed Jaeger's heart despite the anxiety that was beginning to overwhelm him. It was good to see that someone believed in him.
Jean was not convinced, however.
"And do you realize that our lives depend on you right now? That we could very well die like Marco without you realizing it before it's too late?"
"Jean!" Mikasa exclaimed ready to fly to Eren's rescue, but the latter stopped her with a gesture.
"Stop it, he has the right to know."
The oriental wanted to add something, but she ended up frowning under the gaze of the young man.
"Jean," Eren said, taking a step forward, "what do you expect from me?"
Kirstein looked at him for a few seconds to gauge him before answering.
"I want to know why we are fighting, I want to know what our lives are going to be used for, we all have to know this to avoid hesitating in crucial moments.
"You're talking to the wrong person then," Amos pointed out, "you should ask Commander Erwin rather than Eren."
"You might be right." Kirstein agreed. "But I still want something from Eren. I want to know if he's worth laying down our lives for him."
"I'm not worth it." Jaeger said abruptly.
The Corps recruits widened their eyes upon hearing him, even Jean seemed a little taken aback by his response. Amos, on the other hand, was curious to hear what he had to say.
"Nobody should have to give their life for me." The native of Shiganshina added, "it's not what I want, and it never will be. Just because I can turn into a titan, because I have an extraordinary ability, doesn't mean I'm suddenly worth hundreds of lives. No life is worth less than mine."
He turned to Mikasa who was taken aback by his words.
"None." He insisted, looking her in the eye before turning back to Kirstein. "All I can do, Jean, is promise you that I will do everything in my power to win this bloody war. The deaths of our comrades, past and future, the death of Marco, I will bear them all." He hit his heart with the flat of his hand.
"I will carry all their hopes, I will defend what they hold dear, for each of them I will move forward, and I will not stop until we have won, only when the sacrifices of all our comrades in will really be worth it. I will fight until the end, for Marco and for each of you! That, I swear!"
A cathedral-like silence echoed these words, the recruits stared at their comrade with pupils filled with passion and gasping breaths. Jean took Eren by the shoulders, and looked him straight in the eyes.
"We're really fucking counting on you. Don't let us down."
"I'll never let you down, I swear."
Armin was blown away by his best friend's mature speech, he glanced at his noble friend who was smiling in satisfaction.
"What did you tell him, what did you do to him to make him grow up so fast?" the little blond wondered. "Did you do as Pixis did with his men By pressing the right buttons? Is this how a leader should act?"
Hannibal was very pleased with his comrade's speech. He no longer spoke out of revenge, he took responsibility, and focused on what mattered most. He had grown well.
"Amos?" Ymir called out from the crate she was sitting on, drawing all the attention to them.
"Hmm?"
"Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you fully trust him for the future?"
The noble rolled his eyes in exasperation.
"I never trust anyone that much." he informed her soberly to the surprise of the other cadets. "And I would be incredibly stupid to do such a thing. Not everything depends on him, far from it. He's a considerable asset for sure, but it is also necessary that the officers who will give him orders and instructions are competent, and that the people around him do their job properly. In short, even if Eren will have an important role to play given his condition, we all have to do our part if we want to have a chance. So no, I don't fully trust in Eren -no offense-, on the other hand, I am sure that he'll keep his word."
The tall girl was satisfied with this answer and nodded, Jaeger also seemed to be satisfied.
"By the way." Reiner said hesitantly. "While we're at it, Amos, are you really a member of the royal family?"
The concerned rolled his eyes at the multitude of curious looks towards him.
"Believe me Reiner, when I tell you that there is nothing glorious in being the King's cousin."
"Ain't that the truth." Eren said darkly. "I still have a hard time believing you're related to that filthy little prick."
The recruits exchanged questioning looks.
"At least you put him back in his place." the native of Shiganshina added, sketching a sadistic smile. "It was fucking satisfying to see him piss himself."
This time everyone's eyes widened and their mouths gaped open, except for Christa who knew her brother better than anyone and knew no one was stepping on his toes.
"Amos?" Armin asked hesitantly. "What have you done ?"
Eren's smile widened, as Amos pinched the corners of his eyes.
"He grabbed him by the fat and threatened to rip twenty pounds off him if he didn't shut his mouth."
Amos let out a dismayed grunt as his comrades looked at him as if he had just grown a second head.
"W-w-w-what did you do?" Sasha blurted out in shock.
"Oh dear." Connie hissed impressed.
Bertholdt and Reiner exchanged a thoughtful look.
"What did he say to make you freak out like that?" Christa asked a little surprised.
Hannibal grimaced in disgust and gritted his teeth. "He insulted Kaa-san." He spat angrily, "Nobody insults Kaa-san."
The little blonde's eyes widened, before clenching her fists in turn.
"He also said some disgusting things about Mikasa," Eren added, twisting his face in anger, "frankly, I was almost disappointed that you did not make him eat his fat."
The oriental raised an eyebrow, but failed to suppress a smile at the way her adoptive brother defended her.
"Aren't you afraid it will have consequences for us?" Jean asked slightly worried. "I mean, he could hit us back in retaliation."
The nobleman shook his head.
"He has no real power, my grandfather controls everything. And if there's one thing he'll never blame me for, it's disciplining that little prick," he explained. "He was always terribly disappointed by Philippe and by my aunt for raising him so badly, it was probably the only thing I did that day that delighted him."
"You know Amos," the native of Shiganshina said, "you should plan a coup and take the Crown instead of this little shit, I'll help you if you want."
Hannibal burst into a brief laugh upon hearing it.
"First of all it doesn't work like that, I'll need a lot more than a crown to become King. Secondly, it's a stupid job, and I'm not stupid. Thirdly, I have no claim to the throne. I am not of royal blood, I am only the cousin of the sovereign."
Eren sighed in defeatism.
"You'd still make a better ruler than that asshole."
"My horse would make a better ruler than this bitch," said the tall blond, rolling his eyes under the bursts of laughter from their comrades.
"So does that mean you're going to fund the Survey Corps or something?" Connie asked.
"Can you add meat to our menus?" Sasha begged hopefully.
"No," Amos answered defeatingly, "my privileges as a noble are suspended while I'm a scout. To get them back I would have to quit or get engaged."
His comrades couldn't believe their ears.
"That you… what?"
"But does that have to do with anything?"
"Why?"
Christa, Ymir, Sasha and Mikasa stared at the tall blond with pity for some and horror for others.
"It is the duty of an heir to a great House," he explained with a sad smile, "to marry a young girl of good birth to guarantee the future of the House through a beneficial alliance. Tell yourself that I will no doubt have to comply, in case the Survey Corps needs the support of the Hannibal family."
" It's disgusting," Christa said disgusted, "how can he treat you like a stallion?"
"It's despicable," Eren adds, "why? What is he hoping for?
"He wants to create a long dynasty," Amos said with a shrug.
Mikasa suddenly felt a shiver of horror run down her spine, she turned to her rival.
"That girl in court, the fat nobleman's daughter. What did you do with her?"
"Oh, fuck," Amos grimaced, "you do not want to know."
"I do want to know," She growled. "Fuck, Amos, what did you do to get her to side with you during the trial?"
The nobleman was a bit surprised to hear the girl swear, but he didn't really care.
"I fucked her," he finally admits with an exasperated sigh, "for her it was a golden opportunity to get pregnant with my child in order to become the next Lady Hannibal. But I seasoned her tea with a contraceptive, that's why her father didn't turn against Eren during his trial.
The latter opened his mouth in horror, while Mikasa's face contorted in indescribable disgust.
"You prostituted yourself to put that fat pig in your pocket, realized the disgusted Oriental.
The noble opened his mouth to protest before taking a second to think.
"You could say that," he admitted, sighing again.
"Amos," cried Christa, grabbing him by the shirt as the recruits stared at him with gobsmacked expressions. How could you do such a thing?!"
"That's enough," He growled, shocking his sister with his aggressive tone, "if I hadn't done that my grandfather would have jumped on this pretext to execute Eren and Mikasa."
The concerned widened their eyes.
"That's the kind of sacrifice I have to bring myself to make," he added finally, "you're all ready to sacrifice your lives, besides that my dignity isn't a very high price to pay."
Nobody had anything to say to that, they looked at their comrade with haggard and sorry expressions. Armin, Jean and Ymir were impressed by his resolve, Christa and Eren were sickened by what he had been forced to do, Mikasa… was furious.
"That's enough now," the tall tired blond repeated, "we will never talk about that again. Just know that I'll do it again if needed, and it does not amuse me at all."
With these words, he headed for the nearest bathroom to splash water on his face, his friends could only watch him go.
"It's disgusting," Eren finally blurted, red with anger, "nobody should have to do that. Him even less… Why?"
"Leave him alone," Ymir said, exasperated, "you heard him, he did this to protect you and Mikasa. He felt that your lives were worth more than that, that's all. Respect his choice."
A shiver of realization ran down Christa's spine.
"What did he do…what did he have to do to protect me?"
The tall girl put a comforting arm around her girlfriend's shoulders.
"You know he would do anything for you, princess. It was always his choice."
The little blonde could do nothing but cry at these words, and took refuge in her lover's shirt, who hugged her.
A moment of heavy silence passed, before the eastern decided to follow the nobleman with a determined step.
"Mikasa!" Armin called.
But she royally ignored him, and went after Amos with clenched fists and angry jet-black eyes.
(-)(-)(-)
Hannibal quickly splashed some water on his face, after which he found a quiet little spot where he could smoke without having Levi catch him. He leaned back behind the HQ, and lit a cigarette. A wave of warmth washed over him, and he let the smoke lick his lips.
"I doubt they'll ever understand how politics and the noble world work," he sighed inwardly, taking another puff, "but if they're getting excited over so little, I dare not even imagine how they would react if they found out…"
He was snapped out of his thoughts when Mikasa made her presence known by planting herself a meter away from him, Amos raised an eyebrow upon noticing her gaze, he sighed:
"Leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you."
He never saw the slap coming.
Hannibal was taken aback by the violence of the blow, his cigarette swirled in a nearby bush.
The tall blond looked at the oriental with surprised eyes.
"Did you just slap me?" he growled, outraged.
The girl's fist was his only response, but this time he was ready, and dodged it. The wall behind couldn't withstand the force of the impact.
"The fuck is wrong with you?!" blurted the noble, startled by the power of the attack. "I need to get out of here before she smashes me into HQ."
He took a dive to avoid the oriental roundhouse kick before rolling in the grass to get back on his feet. But Mikasa was already on top of him, unleashing a series of attacks in a row.
Amos dodged six before grabbing the girl by the wrist to swing her over his shoulder, he didn't wait for her to land to lunge at her and lock her in a hold.
"Holy shit!" he mused, feeling her struggle. "She's completely unleashed! If I don't knock her out real quick she'll tear me to pieces!"
Suddenly, she stopped struggling, and stood up, with the nobleman still on her back.
"Oh great," he grumbled before being grabbed by the hair and swung like a sack on the floor.
He rolled for a few meters before resuming his support and coming back to his feet, the asian stared at him with a furious look.
"Very well," he thought, letting the predation possess him, "no room for negotiation here. Only one solution left."
Time seemed to slow as Amos pulled himself to his feet, his breath slow and his eyelids narrowed.
"Critical situation, concentration and predation must be at their maximum, no mercy."
His imagination took over, and simulated the fight that was to follow.
"First, disorient her." he thought, parrying a punch before slamming his palms over each ear, "then blinding her before retreating."
He pressed his thumbs to each of her eyes, then lunged back to avoid her punching him in the stomach.
"The wounded bull will dance its horns, one must be cut off."
Mikasa tried to reach him with a roundhouse kick, but he bent down and grabbed the knee of her other leg with the whole hand to apply an overpowering pressure there which made her lose her balance.
"Preparing the ground for the final blow." He thought, jerking himself up to slam the top of his head into the girl's chin. "Weaken the prey."
He struck the nerves in her neck with precision, before taking a step back, and cocking his final attack.
"Slay the beast."
Amos lunged forward and straightened his leg to smash Mikasa's chin with a devastating upturned kick. The oriental rolled in the air before spreading out on the ground. Hannibal wiped away the light trickle of blood that had run down his nose.
"There you go." He sighed, sitting down next to her to pull out another cigarette, "I hope you'll give me an explanation once you wake up."
An overpowerful punch in the face hit him before he could even screw his cigarette on his lips. His head hit the grass hard as candles danced before his eyes.
Mikasa threw herself on him instantly to tackle him to the ground, and armed a new attack.
Amos reacted just in time, and sended his fists crashing against the chest of the young oriental girl who let out a cry of pain, before being grabbed by the hair and knocked down on the ground. Hannibal drew a dagger from his boot and slammed it against her throat.
"That's enough!" he roared furiously as blood now flowed profusely from his nose and split lip. "You stop this bullshit right now!"
His hemoglobin dripped from his face until it fell in large drops on the girl's face, who stared at him with teary eyes.
This sight disconcerted him, he withdrew his blade and frowned.
"What the…? Why are you crying?"
Amos finally released her, and put away his knife. The oriental straightened up, sat down beside him and hid her face behind her scarf.
The noble heaved a deep sigh, before reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket.
"Are you still gonna try to hit me or am I finally allowed to smoke quietly?" he quipped.
The girl's cold gaze was his only response.
As he lit his third cigarette, he thought back to the fight they had just fought.
"Fuck, and to think I thought I could last a few more months without resolving to cheat to beat her. She has become far too strong, the Battle of Trost must have hardened her considerably."
"Why don't you tell me what I did to deserve your fury?"
Mikasa hugged her knees to her bruised chest, and wiped Amos' blood from her face.
"What you did was disgusting."
He rolled his eyes.
"It's because I did that that you and Eren didn't end up being shot," he replied, without looking at her, "and don't even think about regretting having saved all those people in Trost. Frankly, I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of it."
The girl clenched her fists.
"You prostituted yourself," she spat furiously, "you're ready to do it again, how many times have you done that?"
Amos paralyzed on the spot, a cry of horror drowned in a torrent of tears echoed in his brain.
"Please! Stop! I promise I'll be a good boy!"
He gasped sharply, catching the girl's attention.
"Amos?"
"I'll do it again if I have to," he said after swallowing his emotions, "you're right when you say it's disgusting. But we all have to make sacrifices if we want to move forward. It's only one way among many, and it's better than getting eaten or shot. It's just... a way like any other."
Mikasa glared at him, with such anger that the young man almost shivered.
"Why do you have such low self-esteem?"
Amos was so unprepared for this question that he choked on his smoke and coughed.
"What the hell are you talking about?" He choked out, clearing his throat.
Mikasa pulled her scarf up over her nose, before answering:
"You don't take care of yourself, you treat yourself like some kind of weapon or tool."
Hannibal raised an eyebrow in dismay.
"Where do you get that from?"
"You call yourself an asshole," she continued ignoring him, "you consider things as important as your marriage a cruel necessity. You calculate absolutely everything to make the most pragmatic choice possible, no matter what horrible things you do to yourself."
Amos watched her calmly and went over each fact she had stated one by one, before shrugging.
"I just have a sense of duty."
"You are hurting those around you a lot," Mikasa replied promptly. "Christa was devastated just imagining the sacrifices you made for her."
"If I hadn't made these sacrifices her situation would be far worse," Amos replied, beginning to get annoyed at this conversation. "I don't see where you're going with that."
The Oriental woman glared at him.
"You taught me the value of self-esteem," she growled annoyed, "but you have so little of it that you almost killed yourself in front of your mother."
Amos froze in place, and glared at the girl.
"I forbid you to use her!" he shouted.
She ignored him.
"The scar on your neck looks deep, so I'm guessing you butchered yourself to make your grandfather give in. How do you think she felt when her little boy cut his own throat?"
"Shut the fuck up!" the nobleman roared. "I was eight years old! I did not know Christa yet, I had no one but her! And you think she didn't tell me that herself?!"
Amos gasped long enough to regain control, before groaning.
"I should never have told you about her." He growled furiously. "and I should have never allowed you to keep her dress..."
Mikasa's eyes widened, another tear rolled down her cheek.
"I'm trying…I'm just trying to show you that you matter. That there are people who care about you..."
Amos couldn't believe his ears.
"Wait, what? And hitting me was the best way to show me that?"
She shook her head.
"No… I wanted you to defend yourself, to protect yourself…"
"What on Earth are you talking about?"
It was official, he no longer understood anything. It was so illogical.
"You are very selfish, you know?" She resumed calmly. "You make the decisions you think are best without considering other people's emotions."
That, on the other hand, he knew was true, his failure with his squad in Trost had been eloquent on this subject.
"Someone has to make these decisions." He replied, stubbing out his cigarette. "you'll soon realize that during the expedition. It is the destiny of the most competent people, those who will do anything to win. Surrender their Humanity to make the toughest decisions and secure victory. This is a small price to pay compared to the lives that must be sacrificed to accomplish this task. Relying on your emotions during a mission is tantamount to heading for disaster."
Mikasa snorted, but said nothing and kept his face hidden behind his scarf. Amos stood up, massaged the swollen part of his face, and stretched.
"Remember that it's because I make this kind of decision that you and Eren are still alive, that Christa is still alive, that I'm still alive. So look me in the eye, and tell me it wasn't worth it."
She refused to raise her head, instead scowling to herself. She knew he was right deep down, but the way he presented it frustrated her.
"Why can't you take care of yourself?" she asked under her breath." Every time... Every time you do that... you eat yourself up inside... You destroy yourself little by little and you accept it so easily..."
"Why don't you mind your own business?" growled the irritated young man.
The Oriental was going too far for his liking, he hated being psychoanalyzed, he hated that people questioned his choices, hated that someone interfered in his head.
"How does she manage to see all this?!" he thought, almost in awe.
"That's enough," he finally decided, getting up, "I don't have to justify myself. Even less towards you, I am not Eren. What I do and what I decide is none of your business. And you're frankly in no position to lecture me given the sacrifices you're willing to make to protect Eren. This discussion is closed."
He left without looking back, leaving the young girl alone. The latter tightened her embrace around his knees, and let out another tear.
"Why did I apologize?!" the noble growled inwardly, recalling the conversation he had had with the eastern after refilling his gas in Trost. "I should have shut the fuck up and swallowed my damn remorse!"
(-)(-)(-)
"Honestly, you could have gone easier on her."
Amos froze in his tracks as he passed the tree Ymir was leaning against. He heaved a deep sigh.
"What are you doing here?" he asked wearily. "Christa must need you right now."
"I told her what I intended to do, and she accepted out of sheer concern," the tall girl answered, shrugging her shoulders before noticing the young man's swollen face. "Damn, Mikasa got you good."
The noble rolled his eyes.
"It's nothing, it will have deflated in two days. Now Ymir, I'm sorry to tell you this but I'm honestly not in the mood to talk. I have said enough so far."
"You have said too much, you mean," the tall girl replied, "I think you have hurt poor Mikasa's feelings. She was just trying to help you, you know?"
"I asked nothing of her." the young man grumbled. "and damn it Ymir, don't encourage that kind of bullshit."
"What kind of bullshit?" she laughed. "Does that scare you that much?"
It took great self-control for the noble to manage to swallow back the violent surge of emotion that surged in his chest. But yes, he was scared.
"Stop it." He said sincerely. "it's the kind of thing I can't afford anymore. Otherwise I'll end up doing a mistake , the kind you don't want me to do."
"Oh for fuck' sake Amos." she growled, shaking her head. "You told me I was family. I have to rattle your cage a little since no one else will do it for you. She's not wrong you know? You should take a little more care of yourself."
Hannibal buried his forehead in his hand.
"I can not." he replied tired of repeating the same thing, "I lose sight of my goals if I do that. It could have terrible consequences for Christa…or for you. So please stop asking me that."
Ymir bit her lip, a little disconcerted by these words. Nothing meant more to her than her girlfriend. However, if Amos were to break down as she feared, she dared not imagine the consequences for their little family. Christa relied heavily on her older brother, and so did she if she was being perfectly honest. If he continued like this...
Ymir exhaled in a loud rattle, she didn't know what to do or say. She wasn't a psychiatrist, and her "brother-in-law" was far too complex and clever for her.
"You suck." she finally said. "We need you, you'll end up bursting if you continue like that. Allow yourself some fucking joy. Your affection is more important than your plans and plots."
"But my plans and my plots, as you say, keep you alive, my affection is only the driving force, so what is really more important?
The tall girl groaned, of course he would counter her arguments.
"I mean." She growled in frustration. "There's absolutely no point being part of the family if you can't enjoy it."
Amos froze on the spot hearing that, and Ymir allowed himself a huge smile upon noticing it. She had managed to pierce the ultra hard steel shell of her "brother-in-law", in her eyes it was a real achievement.
The tall blond wanted to reply, he wanted to justify himself, but absolutely nothing came to his mind. So he consoled himself in the fact that the tall girl had stopped talking about Mikasa, and heaved a deep sigh.
"You're a bitch." He growled with a smile before adding: but you're not wrong.
He gazed at the horizon for a few seconds, before reaching into his pocket to pull out a small box.
"Hey before I forget, Christa asked me before Trost."
Ymir eyed the object suspiciously, before the young man opened it to discover the ring it contained.
"I ain't proposing in case you're getting any stupid idea." the tall blond mockingly said, "I'm officially welcoming you into the family."
The tall girl's eyes widened, before discovering that the silver signet ring bore the emblem of the bat, and the name "Ymir" was engraved at the base.
"Every member of the Hannibal family has such a ring." explained the nobleman, taking it and inserting it on the fourth finger of his "sister-in-law's" left hand. "Since you don't have a last name, I figured you deserved ours. Christa has a similar ring, but it's her real name engraved on it."
Ymir gasped as she stared at the silver bat on her finger, her eyes were wide and her brain was boiling
"Welcome to the family, Ymir Hannibal." the noble smiled with a wink.
The tall girl raised her head, tears in her eyes, Amos took her in his arms.
"Now take care of Christa, and not me, will you?"
This sentence earned him a punch in the ribs.
"How do you manage to be so smart and so dumb at the same time?" She growled, ulcerated despite her joy. "We have to take care of each other if we want our family to have meaning. That's how it has to work if you want it to work, you asshole."
Amos let out a very deep sigh, but refrained from answering this time.
"Why do I have to have two new problems as soon as I've solved one? I have already decided to separate myself from my feelings on the battlefield and to fully enjoy them when I am not there. But those kind of feelings, they're impossible to swallow in the heat of battle, even for me. If ever one of them does something stupid because of me… They must not be in the same sector as me… Damn it's already complicated enough to manage them, I can't leave my affection for others to take over."
"You piss me off." he finally let go in a rattle. "I love you, but you piss me off. I'm totally clueless with your bullshit."
"Welcome to the family." laughed Ymir between her tears. "Nothing makes sense but we love each other, apparently."
Amos let out a sad sneer, the features of his face completely contorted in terror.
"What's the point of me being so smart if I'm doing such dumb stuff?!"
Hello there,
Chapter 14 - A Terrible Mistake
Chapter 15 - The Defeated
Chapter 16 - Duty & Shell
Chapter 17 - Past & Future
Chapter 18 - A Cruel World
Chapter 19 - Royal Blood
Chapter 20 - Her Eyes
have already been written and are available right here on my
w w w . p a t r(e)on (slash) MonsieurLAH
Don't forget to review, it's always appreciated ;)