"Ansh Patil"

'Hmm….. is that McGonagall? and Harry Potter and the Weasley??'

"Ansh Patil"

'Huh, this seems to be one of those lucid dreams I've heard about. And this setting seems like the sorting ceremony is ongoing right now and I am yet to be sorted'

"Ansh Patil !"

'Seriously who is the idiot who is taking so long to respond, does he have his ears jammed or something? Or did my dream make someone that idiotic?'

"For the last time, Ansh Patil get up here"

'Hmm…. why is everyone looking at me?....Wait is that supposed to be my name? seeing their expressions looks like it.'

Seeing the other kids give me a clear path I tread forward. Looking at McGonagall's face she looks pissed.

"What in merlin's name made you take so long?''

'Ugh what am I supposed to do if my brain can't even keep my name the same in a dream.' "Sorry professor, just got so fascinated by everything around me that I lost myself for a moment"

"Well now sit down, we don't have all day"

I sit on that old chair and she places THE hat on my head, or should I say my whole face.

"hmm… an interesting soul, eager for power, thirst for knowledge, the will to stand headstrong in front of extreme situations and yet can be extremely lazy towards things that don't interest you. Now the question arises, where do I put you?"

'Yeahh I'm not gonna waste my time listening to a hat or trying to have a conversation with it when its just a fragment of my imagination. Rather I always wondered what made the hat have sentience, lets see what my brain came up with as the answer to it.'

I get up, pull the hat from over my head and try to confirm what was my most trusted analogy, I try to tear it open at top to look inside of it. I mean what if there was a complex magical circuit or maybe a wizarding form of mini Jarvis installed inside of it?

As I try to try to tear the hat I see from my peripheral vision three bolts of red colour rushing towards me making me drop down to dodge them (I am vaguely aware of the hat screaming but choose to ignore it). I stand up to see Snape, McG and Flitwick pointing their wands at me. 'What the heck is their problem, what if I got hurt, or worse this dream ended? Who knew when I'll have another Harry Potter themed dream?'

Mcg-"Mr. Ansh what is the meaning of this? What do you think you are trying to do?"

Dumbles-"now Ansh I know that the hat can be rather blunt and offensive at times but that's no reason to try to tear it up"

Mcg-"Mr. Ansh what is the meaning of this? What do you think you are trying to do?"

Dumbles-"now Ansh I know that the hat can be rather blunt and offensive at times but that's no reason to try to tear it up"

Hat-"OFFENSIVE!!?? I speak the truth. Clear unadulterated truth and nothing else. And I speak the truth when I say that the kid should go to Azkaban, Azkaban I say!"

Snape-" Usually I wouldn't care about what the hat says but seeing this boy's actions I do somewhat agree with the hat's decision."

McG-"Ansh do you realise the gravity of your actions?"

'wow looks like my mind wants me to be scolded in my dreams too. I mean ok I do miss my mother nagging down my back sometimes, but she still does it enough over call, no need to simulate it in a dream'

McG tries to snatch the hat out of my hand but I hold on tight to it refusing to let go, today I will look inside it I tell you!

Ansh-"leave the hat you old grannie, I wanna see what's inside it. There must be some form of mechanism that's enabling it to speak, I wanna see it."

Dumbles-'...'

Mcg-'...….'

The whole great hall '.....'

Weasley twins 'well damn, the boy's got guts. Too bad they are gonna be separated from him in a minute. REST IN PEACE Brave Warrior, we'll remember you'

McG-"What did you say to me?"

Snape-"wait. Did you try to take apart a thousand-year-old artifact to SEE HOW IT WORKS??"

Ansh-"what do you think, you wanna-be vampire. Today I will see what makes this thing work.

Hat-"not again, not another one. No no no no no. Dumbledore, I served this school for centuries and never asked for anything in return, today I want you to give me my salary. Remove this kid, banish him away this instant. I don't wanna face another Rowena in my life. One was enough, no more I say, no more!"

Flitwick-"wait how does Rowena come into this?"

Hat-"that crazy woman had an unhealthy obsession with knowledge, she once tried to pry open Salazar's throat to see what enables him to speak parseltongue. And this kid is following in her footsteps before even getting sorted anywhere. For my safety, for everyone's safety, send him to Azkaban."

McG-"I have to agree with the hat's words Headmaster"

Dumbles-"now now hat, you know I can't do that. Besides after what you told us, if we are to send someone who is so similar to one of our founders away, that wouldn't really make sense would it? And try to calm down Minerva, I am sure Ansh here didn't mean what he just said and is just a little overexcited making him say things he doesn't mean"

Hat-"if you can't do that, then what use is your Supreme Magdump or whatever title for? And if you can't then I will. I am the sorting hat, if I say he goes to Azkaban, then Azkaban it is"

Dumbles-"Lets just continue with the sorting. Ansh would you kindly stop trying to tear the hat apart so we could get on with the sorting ceremony. Instead how about this, once you prove to me that you have enough capabilities to study the hat, without harming it of course, I'll allow you to do so in my presence."

Hat-"no way am I ever going to accept that! You don't own me. If I say he can't come near me, then he can't. NO MEANS NO!!"

'hmm…. I've already wasted enough time on this one scenario. I don't want this dream to end without me being able to even cast magic, looks like I can only move on.'

Ansh-"ok I accept your terms"

saying so I leave the hat and McG just glares at me.

McG-" Ansh sit on the chair again AND if you try anything with the hat this time I promise it won't end well for you'

'sure whatever you say, like I am gonna listen to a fragment of my imagination'

Hat-"yeah...…. no, nope, het, nahi, nakko, not gonna go on that crazy brat's head again. If Azkaban isn't an option send him to Ravenclaw, just keep him away from me."

Nobody except the Weasely twins clap at my sorting. Seems like I have two young admirers of my own. Immediately my robes take on a blue colour with bronze border. 'Noice'. I start making my towards the Ravenclaw table and sit at the far end, immediately noticing how my fellow housemates are keeping their distance from me.

'Great, my brain thinks of me as a crazy person.'