Stuart's expression read worry as he stepped out of the bar, gently pulling Berry behind him. He had already settled scores with those three and all that was left was to apply ointment on Berry's elbow.
He opened the door of his car and helped Berry inside before turning around to enter from the other side. The driver began driving soon after. He assumed that Stuart wanted to go back home since it was already night
In the rear seat, Berry was enjoying the special treatment from Stuart. The soft touch of Stuart's thumb on his elbow sent warmth filling his whole being. He was smiling as he watched Stuart's worried face but his smile was not entirely from happiness.
Deep down, he knew that Stuart had only Kevin in his mind while worrying for him. He knew that Stuart's treating him this was to make up for not taking proper care of Kevin back then.
In simple words, right now, Stuart saw him as Kevin.
As much as he didn't want to mind and be satisfied with this, he couldn't. He wanted Stuart to see and feel him. Only him. He wanted Stuart to think about him alone.
This thought made it difficult for Berry to further enjoy the special treatment. He withdrew his elbow and with a gentle smile, he said, "It doesn't hurt very much. I can handle it".
But Stuart took his elbow again and continued touching the red spot, "Don't try to act brave. I know how much this hurts, it's so red".
Berry's eyes dropped. He couldn't even feel the pain in his elbow. All he felt was numbness. A shaky sigh escaped his lips before he said, "I'm not Kevin, Stuart", those words were difficult to say. Kevin's name was torturous to pronounce but he said it still.
Stuart's hand movement stopped and he looked up from the bruised elbow to look at Berry. Because Stuart wanted to keep touching the bruise, they were seated so close in the rear seat so when he looked up, he met face to face with Berry
The driver, as if sensing the sudden shift in the air, raised the partition. This left Stuart and Berry in their own little space which was the rear seat of the car. The only source of lighting was the little bulb installed in the roof of the car and their vision was limited to whatever they could see in the dim lighting.
Berry prepared for the worst. He had shattered Stuart's delusion of him(Berry) being Kevin and now, he was waiting for Stuart to send him out of the car or treat him like air just like he had always been doing.
"...Can I hug you…please…" Stuart's voice cracked as he said those words. He was hesitating because he knew it was not right and that he might come to regret it later but he couldn't help himself. He would not deny that he had seen Berry as Kevin and that he was only being like this because he thought Berry was Kevin.
But he could not help it. Doing this was a form of spiritual support for him, a way of maintaining the balance within himself. The guilt he was feeling was eating him up so bad that it was beginning to burn and the only way to overcome this was to make up for the times he didn't know that Kevin was hurt.
How was he going to do that?
He was going to take care of the bruise on Kevin's elbow and monitor it till it completely disappeared but since Kevin was not here… he had to use Berry instead.
He was hoping that Berry would not notice and even if he did, would not say anything about it but he did.
Those words, "I'm not Kevin" broke Stuart and brought him back to reality from his delusions.
Without waiting for Berry's answer, he threw his hands around Berry in a hug and buried his face in Berry's shoulder. He knew that he was being pathetic right now but he couldn't help it. Hot tears flooded his eyes and blurred his vision and he let them out on Berry's shoulder.
Berry was too stunned to react in time and only came back to his senses when he heard Stuart's sniffles. He raised his hand and hugged Stuart too, patting his back and caressing his hair.
He wanted to do more than that to make Stuart stop crying but this was all he could do. Only Kevin could make Stuart stop crying and he wasn't Kevin.
Minutes passed and Stuart eventually stopped crying. He raised his head from Berry's shoulder and slowly withdrew from the hug, the soothing warmth of the hug almost making him return to Berry's embrace.
What he saw was Berry's smiling face, a smile that restored the energy he had lost from crying. Without knowing why, he smiled back. The silent conversation going on between them through those smiles lasted for long seconds before Stuart turned away.
To his surprise, when he looked out of the tinted windows, he saw that the car was already parked inside his house. He looked at Berry questioningly, but Berry shrugged. Neither of them knew when the car stopped because they were too occupied with the thoughts in their heads.
Stuart stepped out of the car and Berry came out after him. He walked around the car to stand beside Stuart. From where he stood, he admired the building and there and then, he decided that he wasn't going back home tonight. He was going to sleep over.
He turned to Stuart, the long gone mischief returning to his eyes and said, "Look what you did to my shirt," he pointed to the wet patch formed by Stuart's tears on his shoulder, "I am the world's number one chef. I can't let people see me like this". He crossed his hands with his chin lifted and a smug expression.
Stuart almost laughed seeing him like this. Berry looked like a child ready to assert his dominance over an adult. Without even trying, he already knew what this shameless pervert of a man was thinking about.
He had plans to let Berry stay over for a while, to apply some ointment on his bruised elbow, but seeing Berry like this, he kind of wanted the man to stay the night. He felt Ike it would do him good to see some new friends after his past friends proved to be assholes and he felt that Berry would make a good friend.
That was all he wanted from Berry– Friendship.
He thought to himself, 'How bad can it be?'