"What?" The sound bites out of my throat. His conviction doesn't waver. "Then marry me. I'll take care of the insurance, you, and…" he stutters "I'll take responsibility for the baby."
A million thoughts are running through my head such as, I can't be a burden, I can't marry someone I don't love, I can't make Dr. Hart raise another man's baby. This is completely inappropriate. We are just coworkers. How would that logically work out, would we live together? I can't do that to Tae. I just can't do that to Tae. A very stupid selfish part of me believes he will come back for me and that this is all just a huge misunderstanding. Instead of choosing any of those logical non-emotional questions my brain decides to open another can of worms entirely.
"Ben, ummm, do you perhaps like me?"
And the man blushes for an answer.
"Rina, this is honestly foreign to me too. I wouldn't necessarily say I had feelings for you a while ago. I just liked talking to you, I liked your strength. I liked that your family was your turtles and you loved talking about them to me. Then you were sick, and I really enjoyed your company. I would be honored to spend my life with you."
His words were incredibly sweet, and definitely the right words to say. They just meant nothing to me. They were bland, and wouldn't let my heart flutter.
"Wow, I appreciate your feelings. I do enjoy your company as well Dr. Hart." Before I can finish, he interrupts me.
"Dr. Hart," he whispers "I understand Rina. I won't force you. I truly won't. Don't avoid me or let this conversation bother our friendship. I am here for you in this hard time no matter where our relationship stands, okay?" His eyes are longing but fierce. I appreciate this more than he can know. I don't want to stress about turning him down. "At Least for me, think about it. Know that my offer stands." I nod in appreciation.
"Now finish your food so we can go home and sleep." He pauses, then smiles. "Separately."
It's a few days later and finally, It's time to move. Thankfully, we have Tori's dad, Grant, and his friend here to help us move. After everything is packed up, we make it to the mansion. That's what I have called it for years because it is the largest house I have ever been inside.
They eagerly walk me up the stairs and I can't tell who is more excited about this baby, Grant or Tori. They show me to 2 rooms down the hall of my bedroom. Tori speaks, "Me and my Dad have already decided that we would not be mad at you either way."
My confusion grows, "We tried to design a nursery together but we fought too much and then it became a competition so we decided we would each make one and you can pick your favorite."
I roll my eyes at both of the toddlers in front of me. I enter through door number one. I gasp. Oceany waves are on the wall with murals of different sea life. A large whale, and dolphins splashing. A beautiful light wood crib with white linens and gold furnishings. The room is beautiful and homey. I turned to Grant, "did you do this?" A huge grin appears on his face "I told you Tori, my little Rina would know whose was whose." He clears his throat, and the tear in his eye makes my tears form.
He pulls me in for a comforting dad hug whispering in my ear, "I know the ocean can be a sore place of memory for your family. Only I know though, of the love and joy it brought your parents. I hope you can raise this baby with the same love of the ocean that your Mom had."
Tori coughs and I see her wipe her eyes, "that's real cheap Dad using her tragic backstory against me." We all laugh. I am then swept away to the next room.
This room's paint is darker almost charcoal across all of the walls and ceiling. White framing is done on the walls to match the white crib with dark sheets. Silver furnishings and a plushy white rug completes the room. Tori hands me a remote, and points to a button. As soon as I press down the whole ceiling is lit up like the night sky. Constellations covering the ceiling and walls. I grip Tori's hand in excitement. She wraps me up in a big hug, "when we were just little you wished to be happy, and to have a family. I always thought I would be enough. Me and Dad will always be your family but I think your wish has finally been answered."
We all cry again, and once I rest my head on my own pillow I am exhausted from moving. I smile for the first time in 5 weeks. We can do this baby.