Tori gasped so loudly I could hear it from the kitchen. She was in the living room and I was making a late night snack.
"Rinnie come here, now!" I waddle over to her. My back aches and my feet have begun to swell. My belly is huge, and I can't recognize myself. When I arrive I see Kang on her phone.
"What's wrong? What is it?" I sit down on the couch behind her and focus my eyes on the screen. Kang starts to speak first.
"Woo5 is going on a hiatus for military leave." "Really, when?" I watch as his eyes flick towards Tori. "Next week."
"Rina, I won't be reachable, I think it's time I talk to Tae." He pauses. "He needs to know he is a father and what he is doing is incredibly stupid. No girlfriend compares to the mother of his child."
My emotional pregnant state can't stop the tears from falling. I know Kang is right. I really do. But I don't want to be loved because I am carrying his children. I want to be the first choice. I won't trap him in something loveless because of his child. I'm too selfish. I want him to want me.
I don't want him to be forced.
Tori pulls me into a hug, it's alright. We will both be here for you. No matter what. Her statement raises even more doubts. I hadn't even thought that he might reject me and our children. A hollow pit in my stomach forms. What will I do if the man I love won't love me back?
I nod towards Kang. "You can tell him." "Is there anything you need me to say?" I think for a moment. There are so many things I want to say. Everything now felt left unsaid.
"Just let him know that I am okay. I will raise this baby and I don't require his help."
I get up and walk away. I trust Tori.
It's been a few days and I just had another appointment with my high risk OBGYN. Baby B isn't growing at the same pace as Baby A. My doctor is not too worried as this can be common in twins. I need to keep my work load extremely light and am basically on a modified bedrest.
On my drive, I take the time to think about my situation. I still have funds from Tae Woo. I was able to get health insurance. I had Tori and her Dad. I think through everything and then dial my manager. I look at the trash still littering the floor. I need to clean before the babies, or pay someone.
"Rina what's up?"
"Hey Theresa, sorry to bother you. I just thought a phone call would be more efficient. My OBGYN would like me on a modified bed rest. I think I need to reduce my hours."
"Is everything alright with the babies? I can't wait to meet them. Let's sort it out, what are you thinking?" I feel the tension in my body ease.
"I think one night a call a week would be alright, at least until things change or when I deliver."
"Thank you so much, Theresa. I can't thank you enough."
I pull up to my driveway and end the call with my manager. I feel like Wonder Woman and all I have done is go to the doctor and call my boss.
I pull out all of the ingredients to make a sandwich for me and Tori. The doorbell rings and I hear a Tori yell from down the hall.
"I'll get it."
I begin to spread the mustard on the bread and I hear loud talking in the entryway. Is something going on? Are we getting robbed? I pull out a kitchen knife and slowly approach. I hear a voice in Korean and then I hear Tori speak, "What the hell are you doing here? I didn't say you could bring him here?"
She sounds upset and I see that flash of blue hair. A voice I have come to recognize as Kangs, "It was seriously a huge misunderstanding. Let him talk to Rina. Trust me."
A misunderstanding?
Dating a new woman? Not reaching out to me for months? A misunderstanding?
Tori leans to the side to scratch her ankle, exposing my hiding spot in the hall. Those sunlit eyes meet mine. I feel all of the color return to my world. Everything felt so wrong, and now it was right.
I watched the horror on Taes face as he saw my swollen form. "My baby." Was all he said. I hear Tori's annoying Aunt voice come in, "Of course that's your baby. She was a virgin before she met you."
Oh. That's what he meant. He wasn't sure if it was his baby, well babies.
I drop the knife and run to my room. I hear Tae call out to me. I don't hesitate. The look of horror. His words. How stupid could I be, he doesn't even trust me. I lock the door behind me and take deep breaths. I can face him. I can.