The Polish Program

(Book 2 of the LSD series)

Compared with the burning rage of a fired woman, global warming is a cosy campfire.

By: Ronaldo Siète

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." (Mahatma Gandhi)

Polderdam, 2nd of January 2023

ISBN: 978-94-92389-26-8

Publisher: Editorial Perdido - at www.editorialperdido.eu

Author-right: @ 2022 by Ronaldo Siète - as @Ronaldo7Siete at wattpad.com

Author-right cover design @ 2022 by Katie Sharp - as @katieishere at wattpad.com

Thanks to John, Maureen, Jet and the Wattpad community.

Index

0. Title Page The Polish Program

1. Fool To Cry

2. House Of Broken Love

3. More Than A Feeling

4. Oh, Jungleland

5. The Boss

6. In The Shadows

7. Johnny B. Goode

8. Roxanne

9. It's My Life

10. Light My Fire

11. My Ever-Changing Moods

12. Black

13. Money For Nothing

14. A Forest

15. The Taxman

16. Ladies' Night

17. Raissa

18. Halo Of Flies

19. Black Magic Woman

20. Let's Work

Extra: Don't Fear The Reaper

Cover text

The International Climate Conference in Krakow will save the world from every known ecological disaster. The LSD (Luxembourg Spy Department) wants to help: they send Red, The Runner, to start this story with a BANG. But when Red completes his mission, he discovers that global warming is just a cosy campfire, compared with Scarlett's burning rage after being fired.

Red tries to stay cool: "You deserve a better job. I'll help you." But Scarlett is not interested in finding a new job; she wants to find the criminal who made her lose the old one.

All the terrible things in human history were done by men. Women are nice, warm, soft, friendly, kind, with a big mother's heart for everyone. When a woman like Scarlett wants revenge, there's nothing to be afraid of.About the author

Ronaldo considers himself «the funniest writer in Dutch literary history». The rest of the country laughs about that, which automatically confirms the statement. After a long traumatic experience in his childhood (the six years of the 1st grade of primary school, when he had to learn the alphabet), he escaped reality and plunged into the world of fiction. He studied laughing stock in Orcsford (England), dark humour in the Black Forest (Germany) and dirty jokes at Club Oh, La, Lá (Place Picardillas 69, Paris, France). He graduated in Tonterías and won a licence in Cachondeo from the University of Málaga (Spain).

His novels and poems are full of his philosophy: smile every day, because no one gives literary prizes to writers who make their readers cry (otherwise he would have written this book on onion skins). He lives everywhere and doesn't work anywhere, because making up jokes while floating in the pool, with a drink in one hand and a snack in the other, "That ain't workin', that's the way you do it".

The LSD-series:

1. The Swiss Suitcase

2. The Polish Program

3. The French Formula

4. The Spanish Spotlight

5. The Austrian Aroma

6. The Maltese Manuscript

7. The Swedish Sex Bomb

8. (you'll have to read the others first)

9. (and we're not giving away this title either)

For more info, news and free downloads: www.editorialperdido.eu

Disclaimer

This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents and dialogues are drawn from the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. At least, that's what my lawyer says, that I should tell you these lies so you don't believe all the other lies in the rest of this book. The truth is that the situations in this book, no matter how much you like them to be true, are fiction. The people in this story, no matter how likely you want them to exist, are fiction. Truth is stranger than fiction. That's why we write fiction: so you can learn to find a better truth.

The grammatical and spelling errors in this work are on purpose.

The first reason for this is commercial. Studies show that readers feel superior when they find errors in other people's writing. That's why we instructed our editor, Miss Take, to make sure our readers feel special when they enjoy our books. Only Editorial Perdido gives this glorious feeling of happiness to their clients.

The second reason is political. Every error is a protest against the Grammar Nazis, who complicated the language so the average educated person cannot put hor thoughts on paper without errors. Even the magic spell checker doesn't understand it anymore. Language is communication. It belongs to everyone, not only to the diehards who dedicated half their lives to studying it.