Last night was a short night. It took us until 3:00 AM to pack all of Scarlett's clothes, cutlery and other caprices into cartons, canvas and cases. The pile of garbage bags, filled with the content of her walk-in closet, made me fear the worst for the two shallow wardrobes in the tiny flat in Jungleland. The late hour and the short time available forced us to an efficiency that left no time for Scarlett's nostalgic moments, like when she found a photo of happier times or a dress that made her so beautiful ten kilos ago. There was no time for tears. There wasn't even time to decide what to take and what to throw away. We just packed everything and labelled each bag with brief instructions for the movers: «kitchen» or «bedroom» or «spare room», repeated so often that they became the first words I learnt in Polish.
While we were working, we agreed not to use Mister Kowalski's name anymore. When «something happened to him», people might remember a strange couple, mentioning his name. Spies hate attention. We decided to call him «the Boss» and use codes like «educate him» instead of «torture him», «bring some stationery to his attention» instead of «sticking a pen in his eye» and «play the ball, not the man» instead of «screwing his testicles off». Every job seems lighter when you're having fun.
I hit the mattress of my bed in Pension Chopin at 03:45 and shower the sleep out of my eyes at 06:50. The life of a spy is not at all like James Bond makes us believe in his films. At 08:05, I enter Scarlett's old flat. Four boys of the hood already carry bags and cases outside and load them into a minivan, to move them to Jungleland, where others take care of the transport upstairs. With everything under control, Scarlett and I leave to deliver the packages. At 12:15, when we've finished, we return to Oak Tower 18b, to see if we can find anything of Scarlett's stuff there.
"Everything is here. It's unbelievable.", Scarlett wonders when we enter.
The boys are painting the ceiling and the walls of the two bedrooms. They already painted the living room in a pastel blue, and the white walls of the kitchen are already dry. Two of them are filling the cupboards with plates and the refrigerator with beer. Anja comes out of the bathroom with a bucket of soap: "At least, you can take a shower. Nothing makes you feel as good as a clean face."
"Nothing makes you feel as good as a full stomach. How about using the kitchen to prepare us some lunch?", Tomasz says with a nasal voice, thanks to the stuffing that fills up his nostrils.
Lunch for ten boys, Anja, Scarlett and myself… And Barbara and Lukasz, who came out of curiosity and are now hanging up photos and fixing loose door frames with a drill.
"Lunch is teamwork. If two or three of you can show me where I can find the nearest supermarket, butcher, baker and greengrocer… And help me carry the bags…", I say.
An hour later, the smell of steak with pepper sauce, baked potatoes and fresh coffee wins it from the sharp odour of paint.
"It smells like home.", Scarlett smiles.
Barbara stands up and says: "Did you hear that, boys? The Misses feels at home here."
Beer bottles cling a toast to a new start.
Scarlett takes advantage of the moment, showing her skills as an organized woman who used to run an office in the centre: "There's one thing I would like to discuss before I feel at home here: why do some of you use the staircase and the hall as a public bathroom?"
"That's a protest against the state, for not doing anything for us.", Tomasz says.
"Well, it's a stupid way of protest. The state never comes here. They don't give a shit about us. Do you like to live in a pigsty? This is our house, our home. Being poor is no excuse to be filthy. Someone told me that poor people can live at least as good as rich people, as long as they work together. We have a few hours of afternoon left, and also a lot of soap. I want to make a deal: if we clean our building together, and if we all explain to the other neighbours that we like to keep it clean, that pissing contests are no longer tolerated inside our house, I invite all my new neighbours next Saturday for a big barbecue: burgers and beer, on the square outside."
"And who's going to do the cooking?", I ask.
"You are. Does anyone doubt about Red's qualities as a cook?"
Nobody has any doubts. They've just finished a taste of my work.
"And who's going to pay for all that?", I ask.
Scarlett has thought of everything: "You are. Does anyone doubt about Red's qualities as a crook?"
Nobody has any doubts. They've seen me in action.
They all agree with Scarlett's plan. Hands knock on doors, explanations borrow buckets and brooms, and eighteen floors receive a treatment like they didn't have for years. The local Do-It-Yourself and a fistful of zlotys from my wallet deliver paint and brushes. Scarlett presents herself at the front door of every flat and convinces the jobless people to help for a few hours. The empty bags we used for the transport of Scarlett's wardrobe fill up with all the junk and garbage the neighbours find in the surrounding park. Mister Lewandowski's old furniture finds its way to the open space in the entrance hall, which transforms into a cosy meeting centre for lonely neighbours. Barbara starts with the first activity: organizing the weekly cleaning of the hall and the staircase by the inhabitants of the Oak Tower.
The biggest miracle of all happens when Scarlett enters the spare room in her new home and sees the pile of bags and clothes she no longer has space for. Fancy sports outfits, flashy shirts, expensive office suits, and even a few cocktail dresses with the price-label still attached; they find their way to new owners, to the women and teenage girls of Jungleland, either to sell them or to wear them. Scarlett has a few words of goodbye for every piece of exclusive fashion that starts a new life: "Welcome to my nightmare. I hope you're going to like it. The Boss will pay for this, don't worry. With the compliments of Mrs Kurczak. She will not miss it. It's too small for you? It's meant to work out, to move your big butt, to lose weight, to get into shape. You're jobless. You have all the time in the world to work on a better health regime. Running costs nothing. Just do it. How is it possible that the poorest people have the worst condition? Of course, this dress fits you; half an hour of aerobics each day and you'll wear it next Christmas. No, you don't have to go to the gym. That's so expensive. Why don't we make a gym here, in the park? A bit of iron and aluminium, some paint, and a few hours, that's all we need. If these boys can arrange a ghetto blaster and some music, we'll work out for free, here, in the park…"
I have to interrupt Scarlett and her August act of Summer Santa Claus: in hardly any time, it's September. We have to avoid paying the rent for the now empty flat in the centre.
"We have to go. Your landlord's office closes at five o'clock. We need to hand in the key and persuade him to return you the guarantee you paid for the rent. We'll need that money to pay the boys."
Tomasz gives us a lift in the minivan; his broken nose still hurts when he makes an effort, so he's happy to be useful as a driver. He promises to wait outside until we return.
* * *
"We come to return the key of Jerzy Dudek Street 85. The flat is empty and can be rented out again next month. If you would be so kind to send someone to inspect it, you'll find it in a better state than it was when the current tenant received it, so we hope you can repay her the one month's rent she deposited as a guarantee, right now, in cash. We'll need that money to pay the company that moved the furniture.", I say.
The lady behind the desk is paid to follow the rules: "The rules say that you should give written notice, three months before you move out. We can't pay the guarantee in cash, and we will only transfer the amount after the inspector gives us permission, which usually takes two or three weeks."
We don't have time for this. We have a lot to do and nobody pays us to waste our time. I keep my good manners and smile to the lady: "The rules, my dear, are for the ones who follow the rules. Miss Scarlett has rented this flat for twenty-six years, and she was never late with the rent. She treated the house like it was her own. The new tenants don't even have to paint or clean it; they can move in right away. After all these years of model behaviour, Miss Scarlett expects you to return the favour, which means that you pay her back the guarantee, a nice sum that you had all those years without paying one cent of interest to the owner. That way, you can use your precious time to find a new tenant instead of bothering your model tenant to pay for the time you're wasting by following the rules.
» There is an alternative: re-model behaviour. You're free to follow your precious rules, but we won't. We'll go back to the flat (we still have the key) and we'll remodel it. Getting the place back into shape again will cost you three months and ten times the amount of the deposit, at least. We will lose the guarantee, but you will lose a lot more. Miss Scarlett lost her job yesterday. Her new address is: Bank «beware, wet paint», first path on the right, Park Lotników Polskich, Krakow. If you have any illusion that she will pay for the damage we're going to create, please tell us where she can get that money, because she herself has no idea… It's your choice: follow the rules, or not follow the rules. What will it be?"
The lady is not sure. She gets paid to follow the rules, but she has a boss for all the other situations. Her boss is not so easy to convince. We ask him to come with us, right now, to visit the flat and see for himself how nice and neat we've left everything. He accepts. A short ride later, he's surprised about all the kitchen machines Scarlett left (because there's no space in her new kitchen) and how clean and neat the flat is.
He accepts the deal. We return to his office, where he pays Scarlett her guarantee of a little over 4.000 zlotys. Scarlett passes the money to Tomasz, to share it with the gang. I add another check mark to my mental To-Do list:
√ Deliver packages
√ Move from old to new flat
√ Settle accounts with the landlord of the old house
o Find a way to get closer to Mister Kowalski, the Boss
"Three tasks out of four carried off, and we have still six hours left to find a way to nail the Boss. Do you want a coffee?"
"I want a beer… which is strange… I liked wine, a little champagne sometimes, and fruit juices, but I never was a beer drinker. But today, at lunch, everyone drank beer, from the bottle. Somehow, I adapted to the situation and even liked it."
I think: «Thanks to her capacity to adapt herself to almost every environment, the sparrow became one of the dominant species of birds of our planet».
"You're an amazing woman, Scarlett. Beer it will be. I'm buying. There's no better place to cook up plans of revenge than a dark bar in an old part of an ancient town."
"I think I know just the place."