"You walk pretty fast," he said.
"And you probably don't walk at all," Cece answered. Her eyes traced the exposed skin of his neck.
"Hey, I was playing basketball when I saw you."
"Good for you." Cece imagined him playing basketball. The loose-fitting sportswear he wore covered too much of his skin. Couldn't he wear those sleeveless ones? She had never seen how his hands looked when he worked out or played something. She cleared her throat.
"Do you like the men who stay cool and act aloof, like the dramas and manhwas? You'd be good friends with Sandra then. She practically lives on them."
Cece felt a tinge of jealousy for the unknown woman named Sandra. She recalled the pretty one Gavin would hang out with most of the time. She was close to him, probably the closest woman in the campus. Why did he have to talk about another woman in front of her? Was Lisa not enough?
"What's with the face?" he asked, running his hand through his hair.
"Nothing," she shrugged. There was no way in hell she'd tell him. She started walking.
"Yellow suits you," he said, looking at her shirt. She felt a mild flutter in her body.
"Thanks."
"You know, a bunch of scientists once did some experiments. They found out that the way we share our names matters highly."
To this unexpected bit of information, Cece frowned. "How so?" she asked. This would start a conversation, ideally, she would avoid that, but she wished he'd continue talking and walking with her.
"When we hear someone's name, it creates a certain image in our mind. Like, when we hear a name with an Arabic root, it gives us the thrill and expectation of something very Middle Eastern, with a hint of fantasy. When we hear a typical white name, it creates a completely different impression. It's really interesting to see the image your mind can conjure up when you hear the name, Mildred, or Oksana."
"Ohkay. I see where this conversation is going. Are you going to lecture me now about why we should share our real name and not a fake one?"
"I did not say anything about fake names!" he grinned victoriously. "However, now that you have broached the topic, can I share what I thought of when I heard your name?"
"Would you stop if I say no?"
"C'mon, I am not that shameless. I am just a little desperate."
"What?" Cece couldn't believe her own ears. Did he just use the word 'desperate'?
"Ruby is like the name of a beautiful young girl, a character out of a romantic novel. She is bubbly, pretty; she smiles like a river flowing wildly, she cries like a rainy day, and she makes others jealous whenever she walks by."
"Sounds like an MPDG." Cece noticed the baffled look on his face and clarified, "A manic pixie dream girl."
"She has red highlights in her hair, she loves to dress up, and she wears many accessories, especially rings on her fingers. She reads a lot of books, and makes friends very carefully."
"I am sorry, who are you describing again?"
"You know, Ruby, from The Ruby Nights and Emerald Days."
Cece squeezed her eyes shut. She had this book with her for a long time. It was not anything extraordinary, or some kind of literary masterpiece, just about a bunch of idiotic university students and their relatable life wrapped in the package of comedy. She had to pay the late penalty for the book.
"How did you—" Of course, he saw it with her. She remembered the book was on her table when she came out of the room and bumped into him. How did he manage to see it in that short time? "If you're looking for an apology, you're not getting any."
"I am not looking for an apology. On the contrary, I want to apologise. I am sorry if I made you feel so uncomfortable."
Cece stared at him. His words were processing themselves in her mind very slowly. Meanwhile, her eyes spot the sincerity in his eyes.
"You didn't make me feel uncomfortable, I just didn't want to tell you my real name, or anything else."
He looked hurt. Could she hurt someone she had met only thrice?
"I don't know what impression you had of me, but I am not a creep or an unreliable person."
Cece remained quiet. It was more difficult than she thought initially. In her mind, she had prepared a conversation where she would dismiss him and leave dramatically like the bold heroines of the novels she read. In real life, it turned out to be something she couldn't do. Would the heroines be able to do the same, once they saw the sincerity and honesty in the eyes of their heroes?
The thought brought goosebumps on her skin.
"Still, if you feel I am not reliable enough, I will not bother you anymore. Honestly, I will stay out of your hair."
Cece stared as he finished his sentence and nodded to her to say 'goodbye'.
Was it really a goodbye? Would she never see him again?
"Bye then. Have a good day."
With huge confidence, he spoke and waved towards her. Cece watched as he slowly walked away from her. At first, he walked, then he increased his pace until he took a sprint. He was right, he had been playing basketball before he saw her.
"Please don't go," Cece screamed internally. "Talk to me more. Tell me about yourself, and ask me about my life. Stay."
Gavin couldn't hear that. His silhouette became smaller until he reached the basketball court. Then he vanished in the crowd of young men in their twenties, all dressed up the same way, all focused on scoring.
He was not extraordinarily handsome, he didn't glow like the men in her dreams, but he stood out in the crowd. Of course, it was her hormones talking. Cece stood there for a while to watch the men play.
That night, Cece couldn't sleep well. She thought about Gavin a lot. The three meetings, and the first time she saw him at that party. Mia telling her about the new guy in town and her apprehension about the new guy. She recalled Mia's and her other friends' words about Gavin and his secret crush on her.
Cece kept on asking the same question again and again to herself. Did he actually have a crush on her?
Present day
Cece woke up with a start. She didn't realise when she fell asleep. The pills were left by Sandra for her cramps. She felt cold. Rubbing her hands together she looked around herself. It was late evening; she was lying down on the couch in an uncomfortable position. Once she sat upright, she felt the cold again, this time accompanied by body ache.
She touched her neck with the back of her hand. Her fever was back.
Did Gavin come home in the afternoon as Sandra had shared? Did he see her lying on the couch? Was she decent? The craps returned with twice enthusiasm. She sighed and dropped herself on the couch again. Her eyes closed themselves without her permission.
She expected to fall asleep again, but inside her mind, the dream kept on wandering like a piece of cloud in a clear blue sky. She knew the story Sandra told her was not completely correct. It made her a little happy to think that Sandra did not know every detail. This meant Gavin did not tell her everything.
Now that Cece knew the origin of these dreams, they should not affect her. She should not feel the softness towards him anymore. She was stealing memories of that woman, knowing the fact demolished the last bit of confidence she had gathered for herself in the last three years.
The questions floated in the air.
Why?
Why Cece?
Why Ruby?
Why Gavin?
She opened her eyes and decided that she had slept as much as she could. Now it was her turn to spend a slumberless night. She left the couch and started looking for the switches. The house had so many expensive technologies, that she almost expected the lights to lit up themselves sensing her movement. Nothing as such happened.
When she turned on the switch, she found herself standing in the middle of the living room. She stood there for some time, not knowing what to do. She could leave the house now if only she had seen the security passcode. If only she had been a little smarter.
There was a faint sound. She turned with a gasp.
The door was right in front of her. Not the one she wanted to go through, but the one that could take her somewhere she didn't want to go through.
That was Ruby's room.
She had decided to call her Ruby. There was no way in hell she'd call her by the same name her parents gave her. Didn't the woman herself choose the name Ruby? Why should Cece defy her wishes?
She tiptoed towards the room. There was a passcode for this room too, a six-digit code. She tried to think. What was it? If it were a four-digit code, she would have punched Ruby's name there. But this was a six-digit code. What could it be?
The easiest code a person could think of was birthday. She didn't know Gavin's birthday. The thought brought a follow-up thought, he did not look like a narcissistic jerk. He was a mean sob, but that was mostly driven by his emotions.
If not his then—
She typed a number she suddenly thought of, and pressed the green button on the keypad nervously.
With a click, the door was unlocked.