Dena!!! " I yelled and opened my eyes before sitting on the bed. This makes the third time this week, same nightmare and the same guilt feeling.
" honey " mum dashed into my room the third time this week again. I'm kind of already feeling so bad and stupid.
" hey hey " she whispered as she climbed my bed, carefully pulling me into her arms for a hug.
" mum " I said shakingly as I wrapped my hands around her as the tears start spilling.
" oh baby.. Its gonna be alright " mum chanted over and over again as I sobbed into her chest... There is no going back from this. I need therapy... Again
?????
I make my way into the locker room with a frown on my face and my hood covering my horrible looking hair and not to talk of the sleep bags under my eyes. The only good thing about today is that its Friday which means I don't have to see any human being till Monday which makes me so happy.
I opened my locker and then I picked my English tablet and my textbook before slamming it shut. I rest back against my locker to suppress the headache I could feel growing. I just wanted to sleep.
The locker beside me shut with a bang causing me to shake back to reality out of my thoughts. I opened my eyes to see Alex's gray eyes staring back at me. I had forgotten that her locker was right beside mine. Sadness fills me as I stare at her holding the gaze. She looked like she was going to talk to me but she didn't so I took the first step.
" ale... " before I could finish the statement she turned away grabbed her bag and then left me there. That's when it finally settled in my head again that I was alone. I didn't have Alex too.
I sighed and hugged my textbook to my chest before walking towards the opposite direction where my English class was. I'm actually dreading today then I actually thought...
I made my way into my English class in one piece. Getting to the entrance I decided if I wanted to sit in the front roll or the middle or the back. I agreed on the middle roll because I didn't want to sit at the front roll and be bugged by the teacher and I also didn't want to be bugged by the bad guys in the class because we all know the back was their heaven. Anyone who sits there is just basically walking into their own hell. I move to the empty space in the middle roll before sitting down. I dropped my bag on the empty chair beside me.
I could see people holding their textbooks and walking in. Since the teacher wasn't around yet, I put in my ear phones to block out people. Not that I was listening to any music at the moment but just so people would not talk to me. I picked my pen then I started to scribble nonsense at the back of my textbook to pass the boredom when Adam walked into the class. I thought he only had calculus with me.
I sighed and ignored him but part of me was disappointed when he walked past me totally ignoring my existence and sits beside the window just behind me. In movies the guys usually sit with girls who don't like them. It actually hurt to see that it didn't happen now but its fine.. I don't need him anyways.
The teacher walked in just as I'm about to open another page of my textbook to scribble another nonsense. Yay English period...
Note my sarcasm
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" so I want you all to study well and read your text because next week we will be doing an open presentation " our English teacher said which caused people to groan from different angles in the class.
" if you don't stop groaning I will give you an assignment " he continues and the class is utterly silent. " good that's what I thought. So for the presentation, we are going to be doing it in a group of twos.. " he said and stopped.
" do we get to pick our partner ? " someone asked.
" I'm getting to that. But to answer your question no you don't get to pick your partner. I have already wrapped the names of the girls in the class in a blue basket. After the class the guys will each pick a ball and open it. The name in the ball is your partner, that way I don't get to choose your partner and you don't get to choose either. Is that okay " he asked
" yes " we all chorused.
After learning that we will be picking from romeo and Juliet, Othello and Macbeth, the bell rings signalling the end of the period and the beginning of lunch. We don't get up yet because we still have to know our partners, our scenes and the information.
The boys get up from their seats and walk to the front of the class, each picking a ball from the blue basket. Soon everyone had picked a ball and gone back to their seats.
" okay now. Open your balls and call out your partners and then you guys should come up here for your scenes and then you can go for lunch " he said
" sally " a guy said and I could see a girl beam with happiness as she followed the guy to the table. They were given their scenes and soon they were out of the class.
This went on for six more minutes until I finally heard my name.
" Elizabeth " good. I stood up from my sit, picked my books and my bag before turning to look at the guy who called my name.
I felt like the air was being knocked out of me as I came face to face with Adam's hazel eyes. I could see that he was also confused but soon the confusion was replaced with nothing.. His face was void of emotion. I didn't know how long we just stood there staring at each other till our name was called.
" Adam Elizabeth. We don't have all day " Mr mike finally spoke.
I broke away from the glance and we both moved forward.
" no " Adam said as soon as we got to the front.
" I don't understand you " Mr mike said
" can I switch partners ? " he asked again.
Anger filled my body as I stared at him with hatred and confusion.
" me too " I didn't know when I blurt out.
" no you cannot. " Mr like said
" but " I started.
" I didn't pick you guys so I can't change your partners. " he stated.
" okay then we.." Adam started too but was interrupted
" I see that you don't want to work with each other for a reason but I can't change partners. I'm using up your lunch break and I'm sure everyone is hungry too so let's just do this peacefully " he said. " are we clear ? " he asked
" sure " we both said . a smile lights up on Mr mike's face as he picked two papers up.
" the heavens are in your luck today too. " he stated before handling us the papers.
I'm confused but my confusion is easily over as I stared at the paper..
Romeo and Juliet
Confession scene
My eyes scans the paper till I get to the end. Romeo holds Juliet by the waist and kiss her ..
Kiss her?
I look up with immediate effect at Mr mike who was still smiling at us. From the corner of my eyes I could see that Adam had the same expression as mine
" see you next week. " before we could argue, Mr mike said and ushered us out of the class but not before yelling at us to practice our lines over the weekend. Here goes my peaceful weekend.. In the bin already.
" hey how are we.. " I turned to ask Adam but before I could finish the sentence, he bolted for the other direction in anger.
What the fuck!
I don't want to work with you too
Oh I know I want to
Shut up
I sighed and walked towards the cafeteria for lunch. We still had twenty minutes left before the bell rings for another period....
?????
I have been sitting in lunch alone since Tuesday after my fight with Alex. Cole sat here sometimes and Shawn sat with me too but it was only for a minute so I'm basically alone like I have always wanted. Then why do I feel so bad and lonely.
I spot Alex as she entered the lunch room too, her face was down as she looked around for where to sit. She spots me and smiled before walking towards me. I'm confused but I smile back. As if she just got a hang of herself, she stops and the smile on her face fades as she walks away from my direction.
She misses me too. I watch her go and soon she was sitting at our usual table alone, picking on her food. Okay okay I can't do this anymore
I get up with full force and then march to our table with my food. I dropped my food on the table and she looks up with surprise.
" what are you doing here ? " that's the first thing she has said to me since our fight.
" I..I..I " I stammered and just stared at her.
" if you have nothing to say please leave " she said and turned back to picking on her food...
I'm in a tight spot here. What do I say?
You know what she wants to hear
I do.. I sigh and prepare myself.. I needed to be prepared to say this and also be prepared to see her expression when I do say it.
" please leave " she said. I didn't move from the position. Seeing that I was not ready to go, she stood up and grabbed her things before walking away from the table
Here goes nothing
" I killed my best friend " I half whispered and half yelled. Causing every where to go silent. Or maybe I thought I was whispering because everyone was staring at me with sadness and sadness. Wait people shouldn't be feeling sad for me. I just said I had committed murder. maybe I didn't explain myself well but how else should I explain myself. Soon I saw that they weren't even looking at me but at a girl who had fainted. That explains the sad looks . No one heard me but I think the person I was talking to heard me. Tears pilled up in my eyes as I stared at Alex's back
Alex had stopped on her trails and then she turned to look at me with pity.
" oh Betty " she said and walked back to me. She immediately pulled me in a hug and rubbed my hair.. I wrapped my hands around her and hug her too tight.
" I'm sorry I kept you in the dark Alex. I really wanted to tell you " I gushed out in tears and she just kept on nodding her head as she pats my head and my back. I didn't know how long we had been standing in the middle of the lunch room hugging and me crying my eyes out or how people didn't notice us or maybe they just ignored us but I couldn't move.
Not after what I had just said. I really just said what I had been keeping in me for two years ... I just told someone that I had killed Dena...
I moved away from Alex and looked at her, waiting for her to understand what I had just said and then she would finally leave me but she didn't. She was just staring at me and not saying anything.
" oh how I hate it when you cry " she finally said rubbing my hair " it makes your blue eyes less blue " she said and chuckled breaking the silence and then she smiled at me.
I was speechless as I stared at the girl in front of me.. Didn't she hear me? I said I killed my best friend.
" did you hear what I just said ? " I asked her.
" do you want to skip third and fourth period with me ? "
That was her response as she grabbed both our bags and pulled me out of the lunch room.
What just happened