where are we going ? " I asked for the third time as we got to the school parking lot.
" we are going on a trip " Alex said and smiled at me before dumping our bags into her car.
" aren't we supposed to be in school now ? " I asked with a frown while trying to wipe my eyes.
" well who says we aren't in school... " she said and entered the car before starting it.
" but I have never skipped school before " I said still frowning at her.
" oh will you just get in " she said with a frown.
" what if... " she honks " what " she honks " what if we get " she honks the car horn very loud.
" okay okay alright " I said and get in. She stopped pressing the horn and gave me an angelic smile.
I burst into laughter as I stared at her. Soon we were both laughing like fools as she drove out of the school parking lot. With laughter I stared at her face which was fixed on the road..I loved her so so much and I missed her too
" now will you tell me where we are going ? " I asked her
" my house " she said still facing the road
" your...house ? " I asked stammering.
I have never been to her house or anyone's house for that matter. What will happen
" yes my house.. " she said and that's the last thing we both said through out the ride till we got to her house.
" we are here but Ralph is home " she stated and I frowned
" do you want to go else where ? " she asked me
" no no.. I will just try to be civil with him " I said.
" good then. Let's go " she said then she got out of the car.
I picked my phone and got out hurriedly to match her pace. Soon we are met faced with a big house painted in yellow.
" this is my house " she said and smiled as she spread her arms out.
" its nice " I said curtly as I followed her to the door. She pushed the door and it opened revealing a sitting room enough to fill a classroom. That's just how big it is.
" woah " I muttered and she chuckled before closing the door after us.
" hey nerdy " I looked ahead to see Ralph in the sitting room drinking soda while watching a movie.
" hi " I said plainly
" don't bug her dork " Alex said as she hit Ralph's head with her phone.
" what the fuck " Ralph growled and I found myself smiling and trying to hold a laugher.
" what's that ? " he turned to me angrily
" nothing " I whispered.
" I will be back Betty. I will just get snacks and then we can go off to my room " she said walking away from the sitting room. Leaving me and Ralph alone.
" okay " I nodded and sat on the arm rest with my phone in my hand. I didn't know what to do so I just stared at the television not even understanding what's going on.
" hey " my head turns abruptly to look at Ralph
" why are you guys not in school " he asked while munching on pop corn
I don't know which I'm more focused on. His lips or his question
" nothing " I muttered.. He stared at me for a while before looking away
" okay " he muttered. And I looked at the TV again.
" do you understand what you are watching ? " came his next question
" I think I do " I said unsure
" its an anime. I love watching it " he stated and I nodded again.
This is pretty boring
" what did you say ? " he asked
" nothing. "
" you just said you are bored " he stated.
" no " I said lying. I said that in my mind didn't I?
" yes you did " he said and stared at me.. I couldn't look away and soon we were having a stare off that I didn't know when he moved from the couch to my chair.
" did you cry ? " he asked, his thumb grazing my face. I looked away
" its none of your business " I muttered and tried to look away but that's impossible since he was looking right into my eyes holding my face.
" you were. " he stated.
" I said I ... " I started.
" stop bugging her. " Alex came back into the sitting room with a bag filled with snacks before pulling my hands.
" let's go " she said and I nodded.. Ralph dropped his hand from my face and I stood up before following Alex upstairs.
As soon as we got to her room she locked the door and then sat down on the bed with her laptop. I flopped down next to her.
" which do you like better in legacies and vampire diaries ? " she asked.
Huh?
" we are watching a movie ? " I asked her.
" yes of course. Reply quickly. " she ushered.
" don't you want to ask me the meaning of what I said earlier today ? " I asked her and she stated at me with a smile.
" you kept it for a reason. If its time you will tell me when the time is right. " she said and pulled me for a hug.. " I love you Betty and no matter what your past is, I will always love you " she added and I didn't know when the tears started falling from my eyes. I broke free from the hug
" I love you too. " I beamed " but I want to tell you. " I added and she stared at me
" are you sure ? " she asked me as she held my hands in hers.
" yes Alex. I'm very sure " I said
" okay I'm here for you. I won't talk till you want me to talk " she said and used her hand to do a seal on her lips causing me to chuckle and then she smiled.
" so I met Radena.. I have known her since we were kids. We basically grew up together " I stared and stared at Alex's face. " I have always been like this. The lonely girl at kindergarten, the loner at elementary school and the loner at middle school too " I added and tried to smile but you should know I failed.
" Radena was in almost all my classes so she did her best to befriend me. We became friends after she beat a guy up for calling me a loner in middle school. You should have seen her face. She had the prettiest toothy grin when I hugged her for helping me. After that we just clicked and became best friends. " I stopped and stared at Alex as she squeezed my hand.
" she called me Eliza. Radena was a lesbian and I often thought she was in love with my mother " I said and Alex chuckled. " she was adopted by her step parents when she was five and yet she was the happiest person I knew at the time.. Whenever she was with me she was never sad because she was too busy trying to make me happy and for that I blame myself for watching her die " I finished and the first drop of tears falls from my eyes.
" when I was thirteen I first saw the signs " I drew in my breathe and stared at Alex. " my mum was always looking sad whenever she looked at me. She always had sleep bags under her eyes and she always hurt when I touched her. I was confused or maybe I just tried to ignore the signs and believe that my Dad would never hurt her. " I said and stopped. My eyes filled with tears as I watched Alex sad look.
" then one night my dad was drunk and he beat me up and touched me. He tried to rape me Alex. He tried many times after that day but he wasn't successful. I only told Dena all this. I couldn't tell my mum because I didn't want her to worry too much, not knowing that my mum was also keeping things from me so i wouldn't worry either. " I said letting the years fall.
" one night I walked in on my dad beating my mum when I wanted to get a drink in the kitchen. His eyes were full of malice and anger and I was scared. I was scared for my mum and for us. I didn't know I tried to stop him but I only got hurt so I ran out to call Dena for help. I shouldn't have gone to her that night. Alex I...I..sh....shouldn't.. " my voice broke.
" hey hey. Its fine Betty its okay " Alex holds me and I cry in her chest.
" dad.. He killed her with a gun. I should have died instead Alex. I should have saved her. I gave her hope that night and I couldn't do a thing as she died.. She died right in my presence. In my arms Alex " I cried out as I hugged her tight.
I didn't know how long I had cried on Alex's chest or how I fell asleep or anything but I could hear Alex's soothing words as she told me it wasn't my fault all over and all over again..
?????
" hey " I opened my eyes to see Alex smiling widely at me. I rubbed my forehead as I sat up on the bed.
" where am I ? " I asked her
" my house " she said
" your house ? .. What am "
Suddenly everything came crawling back to me . from the lunch room to leaving the school to how I told Alex everything.
" its fine Betty. I told you earlier, I love you and I'm not letting you go " she said and smiled
" you sound like my mum " I said and smiled at her too.
" maybe I am " she said
" eww " I scrunched my nose up in disgust before she hit me with her pillow and soon our laughter filled the room. She still loved me. She still wanted to be my friend.
Wait what is the time
" what time is it ? " I asked her. She picked up her phone
" its almost eight " she answered and I screeched
" what the fuck " she answered and I smiled and remembered Dena saying that exact statement.
" my mum. I need to call my mum " I said
" already called her " she said and raised my phone up at me. I kept on staring at her
" I asked her if you could sleep over and said that's fine " she said
" but she can't be all alone " I said.
" why ? "
" I... " I left the part about dad still out there out of the story. I didn't want to scare Alex any more than I already have.
" nothing " I said
" promise you won't ever lie to me" she said
" really " I asked
" promise me.. Hurry " she said
" I promise you Alex " I said smiled.
" good. If you ever lie to me I will kill you " she said and I chuckled. " now come here " she said and I hugged her tight.
My mind still wandered back to mum who was all alone now. I really hope she is safe.
" so now that we are good. Please let's never fight again .. It hurt like a bitch " I said to her.
" trust me I thought I was going to die first " she answered and brought out her tongue imitating a dead person.
" dweb " I muttered. " let's never fight " she said.
" promise " I said as we both crossed our hands over our chest.
" now enough of the mushy mushy feeling. Let's watch vampire diaries " she yelled and tossed a jelly bean bag to me.
" you are crazy " I said.
" only for you babe " she said and jumped down on the bed and then started the first episode of vampire diaries while stopping here and there to make silly comments about hot guys and how Elena is so stupid..
At the back of my mind, part of me knew I lied when I said I'd never lie to or keep anything from her because I'm doing just that right now. But as I watched her stare at the screen of the laptop and smile from time to time at me. I knew I'd lie to her over and over of it meant keeping her safe because losing Alex will mean losing my whole world all again...
" did you see that ? " her voice breaks me out of my thoughts as I joined her and rested my head on her shoulder.
For the first time in years I felt satisfied.....