Today was going to be a long day. The two girls decided they wanted to clean up the apartment a little. But while they did that, I had to go out and look for more meat, we couldn't go much longer without protein. As I packed my stuff to go, April was sitting on the bed looking at me. I was kneeling to put my stuff in my bag, and while I did I looked up at her.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I was confused.
"What do you mean, I have to get food?"
"Well yeah, but do you want to go alone? I bet my mom wouldn't mind me going with you while she cleans."
My heart jumped at the thought.
"I would love that, but it's probably safer for you here."
"Don't say that. I'm so sick of people telling me what's good for me, I'm going with you. End of story."
Now I was really confused. I don't know what I did wrong.
"Uh..Okay, I'd love that." I gave her a half smile and continued putting my things in my bag. She left the room to get a sharp rock from out back, and her mom walked into the room.
"Don't take what she says too literally. She loves you, she's just had a lot of trouble with people trying to save her and getting hurt themselves in the past."
"Yeah I kind of figured. With me being gone for so long I missed a lot and wasn't there to do things with her, so I hadn't expected much from the filthy kids we lived with." She nodded and left the room, unsure of what I was going to talk about with April, I made a list of questions in my head, and repeated it a few times to make sure I would remember at least a couple of them.
We headed out 15 minutes later, her mom already busy dusting above the cabinets in the kitchen.
"By mom, we'll be back before it's dark." She waved goodbye, and we were off. We walked for a good hundred feet or so until I asked a question first, "Did you have a lot of friends when I was gone?" She looked at me as if I had suggested killing someone, and said, "No, oh gosh no. You were the only reason I had friends in school, when you left I was just the weird girl who wasn't supposed to be here." I watched for the biggest leaves to step on while we trudged.
"I'm sorry. I would've stayed if I could have."
"I know. And I don't blame you for any of it, you only left because your parents couldn't keep what they were doing undercover."
I stopped walking, a weird warmth rising in my chest, "Are you okay?" She beckoned, only making it get hotter.
"Yeah I'm good, lets just keep going."
It was the weirdest thing that I had ever experienced. Everytime she said something to me it got warmer, growing in size as well. She almost tripped and I caught her. Warmth, spreading all across me. It was the most lovely feeling I had ever felt. We got lucky with five rabbits, and a good handful of berries to keep us full while we walked. Suddenly, she turned to me and asked, "Do you love me?" I felt sick. "Really love me?" She was staring at me with her innocent eyes like I was a wounded doe taking its last few breaths.
"Of course I do, I always have." What have I done? We both stood there, berries in our hands, rabbits slung over our shoulders, and we looked at each other. Really looked, for the first time in our whole lives, we were put in a situation where we had to pick between each other. Either we could become a thing, and make something of it, risking our lives more than we are already, or continue as friends and hope we both make it out of this in one piece to date later on. Neither of them were options I was completely comfortable with.