Guess who named me? That's an easy question, of course, it's my father. He's not Japanese though.
And my mother is a Chinese.
What the hell was my father thinking?
Kazu, out.
◇
Every place has an origin. Not just the place, but everything in general.
However, once a motion of beginning occurs, the end is inevitable.
I was a futurologist professor, not the visionary kind, but I knew that every origin was doomed to perish. It would either adapt to change or succumb to its fate.
As I ran towards the bolts of lightning, I kept chanting to myself, "I won't let it end! I won't let it end!"
I was still far away when the lightning strikes ceased. I didn't stop running.
Huff… Huff…
When I reached the edge of the forest, I paused to catch my breath.
I'm too far away to hear anyone, but I catch her scream, "No!!! Rowa!!".
Someone is sobbing; it must be Anna. I dash towards her, and after scaling a small hill, I spot her crying. But I quickly duck behind the hill, only peeking my head to see what's happening.
I can't believe it!!!
The person crying is definitely Anna, but she is not human.
When did I ever think they were human? The sound of countless footsteps echoes in my mind, and I'm so stunned that I forget why I came here in the first place.
When I heard a voice, I snapped out of reality.
"Anna, you shouldn't be here. It's dangerous!"
"But Rowa…"
"I know we failed. If only we had a little more time, Rowa would be the real deity we deserved. But… We have to go."
And all I could do was watch them crawl away. Ah, yes, they crawl.
They look like cockroaches. The image of a beautiful teenage girl named Anna shatters in my mind like glass. I slump on the hill, numb, unable to process it.
My feet ache, as if to remind me that this is indeed real.
◇
I wandered aimlessly in the opposite direction of where they were headed. I kept wondering, when did I start assuming?
I could have gone to meet them even if it was hard to explain, but instead I walked away. Was I biased? I had no idea. I had lived alone for a long time and thought I knew myself.
I continued to roam aimlessly. Walk. Die. Walk. Die. Until I fell into lava, which burned, but this pain was nothing to me. I was constantly resurrecting and dying. It was better this way.
That's what I thought, but the lava was no longer there. What happened?
There were still a few lava pockets here and there. But the large lava pool had vanished; had it drained away?
A gigantic crater had formed where the lava pool used to be.
I think I understood why. I moved over to the small puddle of lava and lay down on it to test my theory. After a few times of dying and resurrecting, the puddle of lava had disappeared, leaving only a faint mark of a human shape.
So that's how it works? If I drowned in the ocean, I would probably turn it into a desert. That would be horrible.
I'm not only resurrecting - I'm restoring, and everything that blocks my resurrection is either assimilated or erased. I'm guessing the latter.
I'm still wearing my shirt, now that I think about it. This is indeed not just a resurrection; these are the clothes I wore when I went to the academy. I see. That's how it happened.
I doubt I would be here if I hadn't used the Transportal. Where did the lady go? I came here with someone. Or was I just unlucky? I was too busy mastering myself to notice her; sure, mastering suffering is necessary in my case, but I wasted too much time. How long have I been here? A thousand years? Maybe millennia. Sigh…
Nothing can be done then.
◇
Huff… Huff…
"Will there ever be a day when I don't have to die?" I wondered as I caught my breath climbing out of the crater. It took me three lives just to get out of here.
I kept walking, but when the sun was almost down, I stopped. I couldn't go on like this.
I had to decide what I was going to do from now on.
I started gathering wood for fire. Many of the trees in this area were dried out, probably because of volcanic activity. This area looked like a canyon, but it was very wide. Smoke rose here and there.
I was watching the sunset from the highest cliff I could climb comfortably. The sunset had a special beauty that I had never noticed before.
Lonely but warm.
As the sun set, the torch I was holding lit up the area, replacing the sunlight. I had seen a lava pocket on the way here and dipped a piece of wood in it. I could only carry a few pieces of wood, but they would be enough for the night.
I built a campfire and looked for a good spot to sit and stare at the flames. And thought, "It would be nice if someone sang…"
But I was the only one here.
So I started singing…
But I didn't know any camping songs. Well, let's make something original. My friends always stopped me from singing for various reasons. But no one was going to stop me now. He he he.
Let's do this.
[🎶
I see a fire... burning bright
I see the stars, they burning right?
A lonely night, but I'm not alone.
A have the light that gives me warmth.
I must be loved.
I'm alone... but it's warm.
I must be loved...
🎵(instrumental using my mouth and slapping my legs) 🎵
I'll find a way to reach the stars
'till my heart... got scars
A place full of smile
A place... that warm like home
I must be loved.
I'm alone... but it's warm.
I must be loved...
🎶]