Breakfast... a disaster.
After leaving my room and tidying up my things since we would be returning to Tokyo after visiting Kyoto, I went downstairs to the dining hall to have breakfast with the rest of the class.
There was a long table for each class and smaller tables for people who had nothing to do with the school. Obviously, we weren't the only students in the hotel.
The long table dedicated to my class was almost empty. Of course, being late and still feeling the effects of my first hangover, it took me longer than usual.
Breakfast was served in a Western style, and there was a buffet with typical breakfast foods. So, I took some toast and jam and used them to fill my stomach.
I sat down at one of the many empty seats and started eating my breakfast, even though I had no appetite...
Needless to say, the reason for my exhaustion was the constant thought of the kiss that had happened the previous evening.
The thing is, this is yet another uncharted territory in my sheltered teenage life. What do you do in these situations?
When Yuto-kun was in the room, I abruptly interrupted him before we could talk about what happened. Upon reflection, the answer to why I behaved that way was clear... I was scared.
What if this event ruined our friendship?
What if he hates me now because I "rejected" him?
What if, because of the awkwardness, we're no longer friends?
The little food I had eaten was having a strange effect on my stomach, fueled by the nervousness of the situation.
"Hey!"
A voice next to me caught my attention. It was Yuto-kun. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice him approaching.
Surely, he must have been running late for the same reasons as me.
And now?
What will he do?
Will he bring up the previous conversation?
Without hesitation, he sat down next to me as if nothing had happened and started having his breakfast, also with toast.
His demeanor devastated me, sending me into even more confusion.
After the bizarre situations we had experienced in less than twenty-four hours, he acted as if nothing had happened.
He sat there, enjoying his breakfast with his usual relaxed expression. Knowing him, I understood that he's the type of person who doesn't worry too much about things, but this is going too far...
It annoyed me to see his innocent expression while I twisted myself with a thousand questions. I wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come out. They were trapped in my throat.
In the end, the boy finished his breakfast without either of us opening our mouths. In comparison, a conversation between mimes would have been more exciting, until...
"Still worried about earlier?"
A question I had been both waiting for and hoping for. I had to somehow break free from that situation. I didn't want to remain silent all day until we returned home.
"A little."
"Don't worry. In fact, I apologize. It was the alcohol. And with the atmosphere... well, it happened."
"Of course. It was the alcohol. It was also the first time both of us were drinking."
"Exactly, so we can relax. And besides, we're just friends. I doubt a relationship can suddenly emerge out of thin air."
"True."
Then we both forced a somewhat strained smile.
"Now, I'll go finish packing things in the room. We'll be boarding the bus soon."
"Yes, you're right. See you later."
And with that, he walked away towards the exit of the dining hall.
Thank goodness.
Here's the rewritten version of the next part:
I was reassured by the fact that it was all just a coincidence and that nothing had changed between us. We would continue to be who we had always been, and I had always liked being that way. So why do I feel unsatisfied?
We had resolved this delicate issue in the best possible way, yet something felt off. It was as if I sensed that things weren't supposed to be like this, even though it was probably the most logical and right thing to do.
After storing our luggage in the bus compartment and taking our seats, we departed for Kyoto.
The place we were going to visit was the famous Fushimi Inari-taisha Shrine located at the base of Mount Inari. The structure is dedicated to the goddess Inari, the goddess of rice and business.
We set off in the late morning and arrived there in about forty-five minutes. The bus stopped near the entrance, and from there, we could see the entrance in the distance.
The closer we got, the more we saw a constant flow of people and tourists who had come to visit. Once we reached the actual entrance, we could admire the grand rōmon, where we had to pass under a large torii gate to reach it.
A small staircase led to the entrance, flanked by two stone pedestals depicting wolves. It is said that these animals are messengers of the goddess Inari. A recurring attribute is the key they hold in their mouths, symbolizing the key to the rice granary.
Upon passing through, we could finally admire the actual shrine where people gathered to pray and make offerings. Well, nothing different from a normal temple, except for what lies behind it. In the midst of the mountain, there is a path consisting of thousands of torii gates that lead to the summit.
We were free to explore, so Yuto-kun and I began our ascent to the top. We were supposed to meet everyone back at the rōmon at sunset to return to our bus and head to Tokyo.
It had been almost an hour since we started our hike, proud of our energy and eagerness to explore.
We passed under the torii gates surrounded by vegetation, which filled the air with its pure and untouched freshness, giving us a sense of rejuvenation. It was as if our souls were being cleansed from the dirt of our chaotic lives, but that hour was enough...
"Ah!"
"Uhf!"
...to make us out of breath and exhausted. We even refrained from talking to save energy because we both wanted to climb as high as possible.
What saved us was the fact that the path was not completely closed from start to finish. Along the way, there were small squares with benches where we could rest and catch our breath. Some of them even had vending machines where we could get something to drink.
Eventually, in the late afternoon, we decided to throw in the towel. We would never make it to the top in time, so we took a final break in one of the small squares.
We both grabbed fruit juice from the vending machines and sat on a bench overlooking the city. We were high enough to admire it from above.
"Ah, darn. We didn't make it in time," he said, devastated by exhaustion.
"Well, the view is not bad. It makes up for the effort," I replied.
While we were gazing at the panorama, I asked him a question I should have asked during breakfast but completely slipped my mind.
"By the way, did your roommate say anything about you not returning to the room?"
"Heh, he told me he went to bed early, so he slept through the whole time. When I saw him this morning, I told him I had gotten up early."
"Lucky you."
As we were still enjoying the view that I tried to etch into my memory, he suddenly said, "I lied to you..."
"Huh?" I didn't understand what he was referring to.
"What do you mean?" I asked, as his gaze, which had been fixed on the panorama, turned towards me.
"I didn't just kiss you because I had too much alcohol in my system."
As he spoke, he was getting closer to me, just like the previous evening. In that moment, it was certain that we would kiss again.
"I like you."
For a moment, I was stunned by the words "I like you," and I started feeling butterflies in my stomach. I was happy to hear those words, especially because no one else had shown me such affection romantically.
But...
"Wait."
I put my hands between us and stopped him. Our faces were just inches apart, close enough to feel each other's breath on our skin.
"Is this really going to be okay? What if we ruin everything? You've become one of the most important people in my life, and I don't want to jeopardize it just because we've gone from being simple friends to something more. I don't want a day to come when, for some reason, things don't work out, and we can't go back to being what we've always been."
"What if it does work out? Why do you assume that everything will go wrong? This concerns the two of us, so it will depend only on us. Even if things were to go wrong, I doubt I'd ever detach myself from you. I feel good with you in any situation, whether as friends or more. And I think it'll be more fun precisely because we're friends. We'll fight like friends and make up like a couple."
As the sun was setting, we sealed those words with a kiss. The unpleasant feeling of dissatisfaction that I carried with me throughout the day vanished. That would be the beginning of a new chapter in our relationship, and I couldn't wait to discover every aspect of it, both positive and negative. Isn't this what it means to be in a relationship with someone?
Finally, after realizing that the sunset had arrived and it was the signal to return, we hastily descended the mountain.
Of course, we arrived late again and got a scolding because we were the only ones missing.
We returned to Tokyo, but this time, we were more connected than ever before.
- From Yuto-kun's perspective -
After returning home, Ayame-san entered her house, and I went into mine.
"Big sis, I'm back!" I called out once I entered.
"Yuto, you're back. How was the trip?" she asked.
"Great. You know, Ayame-san and I are together now," I said as I took off my shoes at the entrance.
"Wow, congratulations!" I could see my sister's happiness at the news, but there was also a hint of sadness on her face.
"Big sis, what's wrong?" I asked.
"I need to tell you something. They've moved up the date of the surgery. It's next week."
Upon hearing those words, my brain felt like it shut down completely. I stopped thinking, and the only thing I managed to say was, "I understand."
With that single word, I walked towards my room, leaving Chika-San behind.
I threw myself onto my bed. The moment had come. I was already anxious when I found out it would be scheduled for the first few days of December, but now that it's been moved up and is just around the corner, I don't know how to handle it.
I'm scared...
I'm terrified!
I don't want to die...
Tears began to flow like rivers, and I spoke out loud to myself, "I also want to live like everyone else and have a normal life."
I needed to be strong because what I was about to face would lead me to what I desired.
Despite everything, I picked up my phone and texted Ayame-san, my only anchor in this chaos that had become my life.
My hand trembled from the overwhelming emotions, making it difficult to type on the phone's screen.
With great difficulty and slowness, I composed the message informing her of the change.
The message showed as "seen" a few seconds after I sent it, but I received no response. How could I expect one? She certainly didn't know what to say.
In the end, I fell asleep with tears in my eyes, my phone by my side, and our chat open, waiting for a possible reply.
It didn't have to be a whole sentence. A single word, an emoji, any kind of response would do, as I myself was no longer able to provide one.