When he wrote to me that evening about changing the date, I remember I was so shaken that my heart seemed to skip a beat. We had been moving forward, ignoring that we would eventually reach this moment, to avoid thinking about it further—or at least that's what I did. But when I saw that message, I was in my room, having gone there shortly after finishing a conversation with my aunt, recounting the two magical days I had experienced.
Upon seeing the notification of the message from what had now become my boyfriend, I immediately opened it to read, and there it was, a surprise. I stared at that message for several minutes, desperately trying to find something to say. A sentence that didn't sound rehearsed, something that would have helped or reassured him even a little bit, but nothing came to mind. So, I didn't reply. Not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't. This was one of those cursed moments where words do not help. These are the worst moments...
And so, the day of the hospital admission arrived in a flash. The day before the surgery, I headed to the hospital to be with him, even though since he got admitted, I had practically gone to see him every day after school.
As I made my way to his room, I noticed three figures standing in front of the entrance. All of them appeared to be in their forties. One of them was the doctor, which was evident from his white coat. He was quite tall and sturdy, while the other two were strangers to me.
Approaching them, I said, 'Hello,' as a way to convey my intention to pass through the closed door they were standing by.
The woman, shorter than the rest of the group, had beautiful shoulder-length hair and light-colored eyes with slightly full lips. She wore a peach-red t-shirt and long pants, holding her coat in her arms. The man, taller than the woman but shorter than the doctor, had short hair and wore glasses through which his dark eyes shone. He had a blue shirt tucked into his pants, held in place by a belt, and he too had his coat in his arms.
'Salve. You must be Maeda-san,' said the woman in response to my greeting. Hesitant that a stranger knew who I was, I nodded affirmatively.
The man also started speaking, 'Pleased to meet you; we are Yuto's parents.'
Finally, there they were. For the first time since I knew the Nakagawa brothers, I met their parents. All this time, I had never seen them, considering Yuto-kun had spoken to me about their problems with the transfer.
Well, it was about time they showed up, damn it. They hadn't been around for months, and it was strange that they hadn't come to the city, given their son's imminent operation.
'Oh, pleased to meet you,' I said, giving a slight bow as a sign of greeting.
'This is my brother,' said the woman, who was now clearly Yuto-kun's mother, gesturing towards the doctor who was with us.
'Pleased to meet you,' and I returned the greeting.
The doctor turned to the two parents, 'Well, I'll go arrange the paperwork. I'll wait for you in my office,' then he walked away, leaving us alone with Yuto-kun's parents.
The mother started talking to me, 'Yuto has talked a lot about you. Thank you for being there for him.'
'Oh, you don't have to thank me. I should be the one thanking him. He always helps me,' I said, feeling embarrassed.
Then the father also began speaking, 'No, we really must thank you. We couldn't be with Yuto all the time due to work and transfer-related issues, leaving the burden on Chika's shoulders. Even though she's his sister, it's not the same as having someone outside the family whom you can rely on. When he talked about you, he did it with such enthusiasm, and from that, we could tell that he was truly happy here, even when we weren't with him at that moment.'
'Indeed. Thank you,' the mother added.
Both of them leaned forward towards me, but I didn't know what to say in that situation. I just expressed what I felt, "You don't have to thank me. I did it because I care. I think it's normal when you care about someone."
"We're really glad to hear you say that," the mother said, displaying a sweet and calm smile.
"Now we should go. We need to finalize the last things for tomorrow," the father spoke this time.
"Of course. Sorry for the inconvenience," I replied.
And so they headed in the same direction where the doctor had gone. They were undoubtedly going to his office, as they were asked to do earlier.
As I watched them walk away, I started to think about how they must be feeling. Their beloved son's life hung in the balance, and all they could do was pray. Pray to every existing deity that everything would turn out alright.
I turned back to the door and knocked, "Tock Tock."
From behind the door, I could clearly hear the voice of the patient inviting me in, accompanied by a softer female voice that seemed familiar to me.
Upon opening the door, I saw Yuto-kun lying on the bed with Harada-san sitting on a chair beside him. Due to the specific area where the operation would take place, she had shaved her hair completely a few days before for convenience.
"Hello, guys."
"Hello."
"Hello," they both replied.
Suddenly, Harada-san got up from the chair.
"Well, I should go."
"You're leaving?"
"Yes, I have things to do."
"Wait, one last thing. Didn't you say you were transferring to our class?"
"Yes, but it's not my fault they take so long for a transfer. But don't worry. Everything should be sorted out. I think I'll start from next week."
"I understand."
Throughout this, I had remained at the threshold of the door, and as she was about to leave the room, once she reached me, she whispered so that Yuto-kun wouldn't hear, "When you're done, meet me in the atrium."
After that, she left and closed the door behind her. I wondered what she wanted this time. Surely, she would criticize my relationship with my cousin again, just like last time, but I was confident that her words wouldn't affect me this time. I felt strong in the bond we had built, although I wasn't sure if she was aware of the developments in our relationship.
However, I put aside the importance of her request to focus on the real reason I was there—to provide support. I took a seat where my cousin had been sitting previously.
"How do you feel?" I asked, even though I knew it was a bit of a silly question.
"I'd be lying if I said I feel good. I'm seriously getting scared now," he chuckled.
"Well, I'd be worried if you said otherwise. But stop pretending to be strong. I can see you trembling," I teased.
Indeed, he was trying his best to hide his true emotions behind a mask, but after my request, his demeanor turned more somber.
"Fear doesn't even begin to describe it. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm terribly afraid that tomorrow, I won't be able to open my eyes anymore. I'm afraid my last memory will be of the nurses in the operating room. I'm afraid. I'm afraid. I'm afraid," tears began to stream down his face.
I gently cupped his face with my hands and drew him close to me, planting a kiss on his lips. After we separated, I placed my forehead against his and whispered, "It'll be alright. After the operation, I'll be the first thing you see when you wake up. The nurses will be the last thing you see in your old life, but I'll be the one you see in the new one. A new life where you can have a normal life. Understand?"
"Yes. Let's make a deal that if I regain consciousness before you arrive, I'll keep my eyes closed until you're here."
"You must really like me if you're willing to do that," I joked, although he caught me off guard with a statement I didn't expect to hear.
"I love you."
"?" I was taken aback for a moment.
"Did I scare you by saying I love you?" he asked with his usual playful demeanor, while I had a more serious expression as I tried to respond.
"No, it's just that I didn't expect it. You know I'm not a genius in these matters, but I do feel something—an uncontrollable need to see you every day, or just catching a glimpse of you makes me happy, or even just hearing the sound of your voice makes me feel strange. Can these be considered signs of love?"
"Yes. Because I feel the exact same way about you."
We sealed that moment with one final kiss, the last one he would give me in that moment, and it marked the end of this dark chapter of his life and the beginning of a brighter one.
"I'll come tomorrow after school. I'll drop by my house first and then come with my aunt. She said she wants to be by your side too."
"Alright, although I might already be inside by then."
But my "adventure" wasn't over yet, as Harada-san was waiting for me. So I made my way to the atrium, where she was standing near the entrance.
"Here I am. What did you want to talk to me about?"
We headed outside and went to the vending machines to get drinks before sitting on a bench nearby.
Both of us, wearing our jackets to shield ourselves from the chilly winter breeze, started to slowly sip our drinks. It was her who broke the silence first:
"I'll tell you this once, so don't make me repeat it."
"?" A sentence thrown out of the blue, and I couldn't understand its meaning.
"I'm sorry for the things I said the other day, and thank you for not listening to me. You see, Yuto has always been an energetic and cheerful person, but since they diagnosed him with this illness, he's been gradually losing that spark. However, when he met you, it was like seeing the old him again. I could tell by the way he spoke and behaved. He's happy."
"I don't know what kind of person he was in the past, and I don't deny that I'm curious to know, but if I somehow managed to make him happy, then that's okay. Everyone keeps thanking me, but from my point of view, I don't think they should. At first, I couldn't stand him, and his mere presence annoyed me, but now the effect I have is completely opposite."
"Ah, right. He told me that you two became a couple."
I lowered my head, looking at the can in my hands.
"I have to thank him. I am who I am now because of him. I've experienced things that, for others, were considered everyday occurrences, all thanks to him. Because he tolerated and supported me. So, don't thank me. I just did what I felt like doing."
"There's something else I need to apologize for. I've felt guilty all this time."
"Guilty?" I said it, but in my heart, I knew she was talking about our past.
"Yes. For what I did to you in the past. For turning my back on you. It's a regret I've carried with me since then. I always thought I was wrong, but I did it anyway. I felt burdened by this all the time, trying in various ways to forget about you and, consequently, what I had done. Imagine my surprise when I saw you at Yuto's house for the first time. I wanted to disappear, which is why I wanted you to stay away from him. It wasn't for his benefit; it was for mine. I wasn't prepared for something like that. I know that saying sorry won't change anything, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry."
"Don't worry. I'm not angry, or rather, not anymore. How can I put it? I don't justify such behavior, but I understand it. In life, apart from family, it's important to feel accepted by others. In a way, it helps you grow because the more you're with people, the more you can make distinctions between different behaviors. Then it's up to you to decide whether to use what you learn to be yourself or conform to the crowd. The fact is, when you conform, you do it just to feel accepted, even if the actions of the crowd may be wrong. I'm not saying you did the right thing, but who knows, maybe in a different situation, the roles could have been reversed."
"I understand. Thank you."
"Listen, do you want to do something? I should mention that I'm still inexperienced in this area, so I might make mistakes."
"What?"
"Do you want to... well, become friends? I mean, start over. Only if you want to..."
I said, stuttering. Apart from Yuto-kun, I had never opened up so much to anyone, and it was the first time I asked someone if they wanted to be my friend. Ironically, that person was my first friend. I had a strange reaction to the question:
"Pfff ahahaha!"
She burst into laughter suddenly.
"What's so funny? Did I say something strange?"
"No, no, it's just that the way you started the request made it seem like something complicated or absurd, given that you were stuttering."
"I told you, I'm not good at these things..."
I replied, slightly pouting.
"Of course, I'd be happy to. You can just call me Euiko."
"Alright, Euiko-san. Same goes for you."
"Okay, Ayame-san."
At the end of our conversation, I headed home, while she would be accompanied by her aunt and uncle. To my surprise, I had gained a new friend, and this time, I had taken the first step.
The next day, as planned, I headed home right after school. My aunt and I would go to the hospital together, and I would also have time to drop off my school things. For the occasion, my aunt had taken a day off to stay close to Chika-san and her family. She had grown fond of her and her brother and said she wanted to come at all costs. Of course, my aunt wouldn't bring Hiro to the hospital, especially for an indefinite period, so she took him to a friend's house, where he would spend the night.
Once I reached the front door of the house, I noticed something strange—the entrance door was ajar. I thought it was odd but didn't pay much attention to it. Most likely, my aunt hadn't realized she hadn't closed it properly; she can be quite absent-minded sometimes.
"Aunt, I'm back," I called out as soon as I entered, closing the door behind me.
I noticed another odd thing—the lights in the house were all off, and there was no sunlight coming in from outside, so all the windows must have been closed.
"Aunt, where are you?" I continued calling, but there was no response. So I quickly took off my shoes and started searching for her in the house. It didn't take me long to find her.
"AUNT!" I shouted as soon as I found her lying on the kitchen floor.
I impulsively rushed to her without wasting any time.
"Aunt, answer me!"
For a moment, I thought she might have felt unwell and fainted, but then I noticed a wound on her head, from which some blood was flowing, and some objects had fallen to the floor. Someone must have been inside the house.
The kitchen door closed—I heard the sound—and as I listened, I turned around and caught a glimpse of a figure. The light was slowly turned on, and what I saw made me shudder.
"Y...you?!"
"Hello, sweetheart. Daddy's home."