Gently, I opened my eyes. I struggled to focus on the scenery around me; the only thing I could grasp was that I was lying on a bed. Then... the pain... Every fiber of my body seemed to be screaming.
I couldn't even move my head, which was resting on the pillow, without experiencing agony. The colors started becoming clearer, and consequently, my vision became sharper until I could see the ceiling. I was in a hospital room. I couldn't understand why I was there. I tried to turn my head to the right as much as possible and managed to catch a glimpse of some machines out of the corner of my eye.
Obviously, they were used to monitor the patient's vital signs. Patient? I noticed that there were cables coming from the machine in question, attached to my body. I rotated my head to the other side and saw the IV pole with tubes making their way under the sheets. It was clear. I was the patient.
I couldn't move my arms, but I could faintly feel the needle's tip in my arm. I wanted to call someone, and only then did I realize that I had a mask covering my nose and mouth, which I hadn't noticed before. It was helping me breathe. The more seconds passed since regaining consciousness, the more my body started perceiving external stimuli, albeit minimally. I began to feel a sense of discomfort coming from my chest. I tried to move my arms once again in the hope of shifting the blankets to see what was wrong, but to no avail.
When the word "chest" came to mind, I finally remembered... I had been stabbed. The memories that were slowly resurfacing frightened me. At that moment, a series of thoughts started swirling in my head. I almost died. And what happened to my father? Is my aunt okay? I hope they managed to catch him this time. I noticed a rectangular plastic object near my left hand on the bed. As I held it in my hands, I felt a button on it. It was a remote control. It must be for calling someone, and I started pressing it repeatedly from under the covers. It didn't take long before someone came. A nurse entered the room dressed in her usual work attire.
"You're awake!?" exclaimed the astonished nurse as she quickly went to call the doctor.
She conducted a quick examination, comparing the values on the chart she had in hand with those displayed on the machine – at least that's what it seemed like to me, considering my lack of knowledge in the matter. She also removed the mask since I could breathe without issues but inserted some tubes into my nostrils through which air passed to provide additional support. I had seen that doctor somewhere before, but I couldn't recall where. During this time, the hospital had informed my aunt about my awakening, which reassured me because it meant my aunt was okay.
"Ayame!!!"
The aunt exclaimed, impulsively opening the door to the room.
"Auntie!!!" She threw herself at me and hugged me, tears streaming down her face.
"You're... okay..." She said amid tears and sobs.
As I saw her expressing her joy at seeing me well, an involuntary impulse made me start crying too. It was as if my reaction to what had happened had been delayed. Everything I had felt... the fear of dying, seeing my father again, my aunt being okay... it all overwhelmed me like a flood.
"Oh, auntie... I was... scared..." "I know, but it's all over now."
After we calmed down, she explained everything to me. She told me that my father had died. Later, I managed to remember the scene of her stabbing him; in addition, she also revealed things I didn't know.
During my absence due to the school trip, she had received some strange phone calls from an unknown number, it must have been him. Moreover, I had been in a coma for about a month. Christmas had just passed.
"Knock Knock" At some point, there was a knock on the door.
"Come in." My aunt responded.
The door opened, revealing Chika-san with her parents and Euiko-san.
"You finally woke up." Chika-san said as she tried to hold back the tears that welled up in her eyes.
"You had us worried." This time, Euiko-san spoke.
"I informed them as soon as I was informed about you waking up." My aunt said. The two adults approached me, and the lady came closer, hugging me.
"You're okay. Thankfully."
"Thank you." I replied, slightly embarrassed.
I couldn't understand why Yuto-kun's mother was so concerned about me.
"YUTO-KUN..." I exclaimed loudly.
With everything that had happened, I selfishly hadn't asked about how he was doing. As soon as I realized that his mother was hugging me, I immediately thought of him, not to mention that he was the only one missing from the group.
"...How is he? Is he okay? Did the surgery go well?"
I bombarded everyone present with questions, starting to get agitated. In the midst of it all, I started to lose my breath. It must have been because of the operation.
"Calm down, breathe." My aunt said, worried.
Mr. Nakagawa started talking to me:
"Don't worry. He's fine. He's also confined to his room and can't get up. Otherwise, he would have come. The surgery was successful."
"Really?"
"Yes." He replied with a slight smile.
It was done. The worst was over. Finally, his dream could come true. He could have the life he had always dreamed of.
"When will he be able to get up from the bed? Or when can I get up to see how he's doing?"
"We don't know. We have to see how your body reacts."
My aunt said. After the visiting hours were over, everyone went home, and my aunt told me she would come every day until I was discharged. I felt lonely when they left, but the knowledge that Yuto-kun's surgery had gone well made me happy. That thought alone was enough to carry me through the night of solitude.
The weeks passed – first one, then two, then three – until finally:
"Well, you can go home." Said the doctor who had been overseeing me since I woke up from the coma, Yuto-kun's uncle. I felt like I had seen him before, but I couldn't remember him well, given that it had only happened once.
"Really?" My aunt exclaimed in disbelief.
She had also come to visit me in my hospital room that day.
"Yes. Just make sure she continues to rest completely. There have been no complications regarding the operation, and the wound is healing." We got everything ready to leave.
As I prepared and dressed slowly, I couldn't help but focus, once again, on the scar I had. I still had the bandages and dressings, but when they changed them and put on clean ones, I had the chance to see the size of the lesion on my chest at heart level. It was quite large and covered the left side of my chest.
When we left the hospital, almost near the exit of the building, I asked a burning question:
"Auntie, is Yuto-kun still in the hospital?" Yes, throughout this time, I hadn't seen him yet. My last memory of him was the day before the surgery, and after that, nothing. In the weeks following my awakening, everyone else had come to visit me with varying frequencies. Every time I asked about Yuto-kun, they would say he was fine or would be discharged soon or that they postponed his discharge for further observation. They were all vague pieces of information. They never told me anything specific about his condition. Right outside, Chika-san was waiting, and I greeted her as soon as I saw her. She asked me to come with her, and so I did. We got into her car, and she began driving to an unknown destination. I tried to ask several times, but she remained silent. She didn't say a word.
At last, we arrived at our destination, and I felt myself sink when I saw where we were. A cemetery... in front of Yuto-kun's grave. My legs lost their strength, and I knelt on the ground.
Looking up at Chika-san with a bewildered expression, I asked, "W-what? Why is there a tomb with his name? You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking!"
"No... This is all real."
"But... you said he was fine. You said the surgery went well. It went well!"
"No, the first complications started almost immediately."
"No, please, please tell me it's just a bad dream." I said, tears starting to flow. I turned my head towards Yuto-kun's tombstone and asked, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" Chika-san squatted down beside me while I cried and tried in vain to wipe away my tears.
"It was because of the operation. You see, that stab wound had caused severe damage to your heart. The only way to save you was to transplant a new heart. We didn't tell you earlier because we were concerned about how you would emotionally react. We didn't know how your heart would handle it. Do you know whose heart is now beating in your chest? It's Yuto's."
"?"
"When they brought you to the hospital, we saw you on the stretcher with your aunt. You were rushed into the operating room immediately. For Yuto-kun, there was nothing more they could do. When the doctor realized a heart was needed, they requested one urgently, but they didn't have any available for your blood type. Except one... Yuto-kun's heart. So my parents decided to donate his heart to you. My little brother's heart."
It was a chilling story. I didn't say anything; I just sat there, letting the tears flow. At that moment, instead of being shocked, I tried to convince myself that he... was no longer here.
"Here." Chika-san handed me a letter with her hand.
"He wrote it on the day of the operation. He told me to give it to you."
I took it, but I didn't open it immediately. I waited until all my tears had stopped. Once ready, I started to open the letter:
"Wait. I'll step away."
"Don't... you want... to read it?"
"No. This is just for you. I'll wait in the car."
After she stepped away, I didn't hesitate any longer. I opened the letter and began to read it quietly to myself:
"Hi Ayame, If you're reading this letter, it means I won't be there anymore, even though as I write these words, I pray that it's me telling you how I feel. I will never stop thanking you for coming into my life. For helping me, supporting me when I needed it most. At first, I thought you were a strange girl, but then you showed me your warrior side, and I was fascinated by it. In my misfortune of having this illness, I was fortunate to meet you. If it hadn't happened, I would never have become your next-door neighbor. Being with you, I tried to be strong, as strong as possible, to resemble you even a little bit. Do you remember when I wrote the 'list of things to do,' and you asked me which item I had already crossed off? It may seem like a silly thing, but one thing I wanted to do at least once was to fall in love. Fortunately, I did, and it's you who entered my heart. I regret only that we won't get to spend more time together, like the impromptu party for my discharge or going shopping or playing video games late into the night. How I wish to do that after I'm discharged from the operation. You have no idea how much I'm struggling to write this letter; I can't express what I feel. The only thing I can say is: I love you, and I hope I can say it to you before going into the operating room. I was scared of dying; I'm still scared of dying, but if I hadn't been sick, I would never have met you, and now, that has become my fear. We can say that, in a certain way, my luck is being unlucky."
My crying started again, uncontrollable. The screams of sorrow I emitted could be heard from any corner of the cemetery.