Your POV:
"Ah! There she is!" Peter greeted me with a grin as he watched me walk through the door, "I've been waiting to hear how things went." He got up from his desk and pulled me into a hug.
"You're in a good mood today." I comment nervously as I return his hug.
"I'm just happy to see you! So, how was your night, huh? Tell me all about it." He sits back down in his chair behind his desk and waits for me to answer.
I sit across the desk from him, trying to think about how to approach this. Should I try to catch him in a lie? If I show him the document I have, will he claim Leopold is the name of an uncle or great uncle? He never mentioned my grandfather's name before, at least not to my recollection. But at the same time my memory isn't exactly always reliable.
I'm taking too long, he is going to get suspicious, "It went well," I smile at him, "There were a few issues, but I would say, for the most part, things went fairly well."
"Yes, I did hear about some 'problem', at the event last night," He laughed, "Guess Banning finally got the rug pulled out from under him, huh?"
This isn't like him. Why does he seem happy about what happened at the party? I get that he doesn't like Banning, but innocent people were killed. To say I was a little surprised by his reaction would be a gross oversimplification.
Has this side always been here, and I have just never noticed it? Either way, I can't have him feeling suspicious by my quiet behaviour. Play your roll, (y/n), find the truth.
I let out a little laugh, "Yes well I suppose you were right about Banning, I would have never guessed he was up to anything shady. But I guess he is associated with Laurie so...."
"Ah, don't blame yourself, (y/n)," He smiled widely at me, "How could you have known for sure? This is good though, he will have a lot of uncomfortable questions to answer. The best part is he will be associated with something negative, and people won't follow him blindly anymore."
Peter definitely seems to be happier that Banning is in trouble than he is sad that people were killed as a result. I feel like I'm going to throw up, but I have to keep myself composed.
"Well at least I got to perform one song before everything went to shit," I say with a smile, trying to match his enthusiasm, "I have to admit, it was nice being up on stage again."
"Right you are, I'm proud of you for performing again, showing all those rich bastards you can bounce back from anything."
His kind words make my chest feel tight. But I can't let it affect me, I need to learn the truth, whether I want to hear it or not.
"Of course, a lot of people recognized me," I continue, "But there was one man who introduced himself to me that I don't remember ever meeting. I can't quite remember his name... Oh well, anyway apparently he knew my grandfather."
I study him casually for a moment, trying to get a read on if he responds at all to me mentioning my maternal grandfather. It was subtle, but there was a flash of uncertainty in his eyes. I wouldn't have noticed it if I were not looking so intently for a reaction.
"Ugh, it's going to drive me insane now, I can't quite remember it, Leonard, Lewis or something along those lines," I groan, pretending to strain to remember his name.
"Leopold," Peter chuckle, "But you were close."
"Yes! Leopold, that's it! Weird huh? He recognized me since I resemble my mother so much." Okay, I'm able to confirm he knows my grandfather as 'Leopold'. Now he can't use a 'wrong name' excuse when he sees the death certificate. The only problem would be him claiming the document is forged.
"So, I know you did some snooping. Did you find anything interesting?" He asked me, leaning back in his chair a little bit, studying me carefully.
The way he was studying me made me feel a little uncomfortable. No, more like he is analyzing me. I have to plan out my next attack, I can't tell him Katrina gave me the death certificate. He could use that to convince me Katrina is lying. And, in fairness, that could still be true, I haven't ruled out that possibility completely.
I should say I found it in Banning's office, if he seems to be genuinely shocked, then Katrina is wrong about Peter. If he is hesitant, aloof or at all deceptive I'm confidant I'll know, and I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
If I feel he is trying to conceal something I can try and convince him, I know more than what I do.... But would he fall for that? I guess it depends on how well he knows Banning and just how much information he has hidden.
"I don't know yet, I was able to find out a few things while I was looking around his office. There were a few 'curious' things I found." I try to sound as confident as I can, but would he believe that Banning would leave something so important in a place where it could be discovered?
I scan Peter's body language as I speak. I can see his jaw clench a little and he is absentmindedly pulling at his fingers a bit. I've been around him long enough to know that is a sign he is nervous. It's now or never, he is vulnerable.
"I found this in his office." I say as I hand him the rolled-up death certificate.
Peter picks the paper off his desk and unrolls it. I continue to study him carefully as he reads it. It doesn't take him long to read, he should already have some kind of reaction by now if he didn't know this existed. Is he making a conscious effort to control his emotions?
"How do you know this isn't forged?" Peter asks, looking at me coolly.
He's not showing any kind of signs that he is surprised... If my grandfather died of this disease shouldn't he be really surprised? He should be showing some kind of emotion, anything!
"Why would Banning have a fake death certificate for my grandfather in his office?" I challenge him.
Peter doesn't say anything, just continues to stare at me with an unreadable expression. What is he doing? It's like he is not even trying to seem innocent. He could at least try to mislead me, what is going on?
"I suppose it has to be fake, right?" I continue, "Because he died of the illness my mother has, right? He wasn't robbed and murdered, that's a lie, right?"
He is still not saying anything. I didn't plan for this, I thought he would at least try and fight. He knows more, I know he does, his reaction to this whole conversation is a dead giveaway. Does he want me to find out? That's the only explanation I can come up with. Why not just tell me the truth before this?
"Peter, tell me the truth about my mother and my grandfather. I want to hear it from you. If you try and lie to me again, I'll take the information I do have and give it to Erwin. But if you tell me the truth, I won't say anything." I have to make it seem like I actually have evidence on him, if I don't, he'll be able to talk his way out of it. This way, he has no way of knowing what type of information I do have and do not have.
He looks down at his hands and remains silent. I'm sure he is trying to figure out what I could possibly know; figuring out what he should say and avoid saying.
"Peter, is this document fake?" I press him, growing impatient.
He looks up at me again, sad hazel eyes looking into my determined (e/c) ones, "This isn't fair, you know I can't lie to you when you ask me out right. No, it's not fake." He sighs.
"My mother doesn't have an illness, does she?" I surprised myself with that question; where did that come from? Just because he lied about my grandfather, doesn't necessarily mean he is lying about my mother... Right? Otherwise, why would I be experiencing her symptoms?
"No."
"What's wrong with her?" My heart feels like it's about to burst, what else has he been lying to me about? Or have I always known the truth? Is it stuck with my other memories, and Peter just wanted to protect me from it after they were gone?
Peter paused for longer this time before answering, "Her body and mind are being destroyed by side effects."
"Side effects from what?"
Peter bites at his lower lip, no longer looking me in the eyes. I feel like I should feel more surprised, but I don't. Is it because I have known the answer for a long time, but I have just not been able to remember, or I have just been denying it...?
"She knew too much... We.." He whispers to himself.
"Just explain it to me, Peter." I can feel myself wanting to back out of this conversation, like I don't really want to know the truth, because there is no coming back from this, "Maybe I'm wrong, I'm wrong right? Just tell me you're not involved." I was starting to sound desperate. But I don't have a large group of people I trust, and up until this point Peter has been at the top of that list.
As I look at him, I can tell he wants nothing more than to reassure me, tell me everything is okay. But he can't, we're at the point of no return. I'm popping my ignorance bubble, everything is going to change, I can feel it.
"When I was a teenager, Dr. Banning insisted on mentoring me. He thought I showed a lot of promise. One day he decided he trusted me enough to show me a special project he had been working on."
Peter stood up and started pacing around his office as he continued, "He brought me to the dungeons of Lawrence's main residence, and that's where I met your mother."
My hands clench into fists and I can see my knuckles turning white.
"Laney somehow got access to highly classified information. It was Banning's job to make her forget it. They felt, given the circumstances, it was a good excuse to test their formula they had been working on." Peter pauses to look at me, trying to read my body language and figure out what I am thinking.
"What did she know?" I asked quietly.
"That I do not know," He answered before continuing," Banning had been working on his own formula. I don't know what template he was working off of, or who gave it to him. But he was able to provide a basic foundation for certain experiments involving titan spinal fluid."
My eyes narrow at him, what the hell is he even saying? Titan spinal fluid? How? Why?
"I worked with him on trying to come up with a combination that would aid him in a number of ways, one of the things he was studying was a more specific therapy for erasing memories. So, he was trying to perfect a combination that would work on your mother. Titan spinal fluid has many mysterious properties, some good, some bad, and some really bad. The plan was to pinpoint certain memories involving the information she had learned. We had to experiment with different catalysts and different types of spinal fluid. We created something to target her amygdala, but also something that wouldn't completely destroy it."
"Who did you experiment on before my mother? There is no way you got it on the first try." I interrupt him.
"(Y/n), you don't want me to go into that. You want the rest of the truth from me, and I am willing to give that to you. But I won't burden you with all the gruesome details," Peter stops pacing and sits back down behind his desk, "Point is when we felt we had a combination that worked, we gave the final product to your mother. Her husband, David, is an important benefactor and didn't want his wife to be killed. So, he gave us permission to do what we could. He didn't want his children to know about what was really going on with their mother. So we told them and you that it was a genetic disease. To make it easier for all of you to believe it we told you that your grandfather had it as well. We destroyed any documents that contradicted that... Well, I thought we did, apparently Banning was stupid enough to keep some evidence. As for the formula itself, the combination worked for the most part, and we were able to erase certain memories."
"But it doesn't just affect her memories," I whisper, "She has other problems."
"Yes," Peter nodded, "All experimentation comes at a cost. The treatment affected and continues to affect her brain in other ways too."
"Were those side effects the tremors and other somatic nervous issues?" I ask quietly, unable to look at him anymore.
"Yes, the mood swings as well. Laney was able to escape though, and she ran into the underground with your father. Then she had you, and eventually we were able to track her down. We steadily gave her more and more doses to ensure her silence. I see her on a periodic basis to monitor her behaviour, and to make sure she doesn't remember what we erased. I do my best to help with the after-effects of her treatment the best I can. But despite my best efforts, she is continuing to decline faster."
"My mother has started having more severe issues with her legs," I comment, "For how long have her legs been giving out?"
Peter's eyes widen, surprised that I knew about that since it has been a more recent event for my mother, "Within the last week it has gotten more frequent."
"Did the experiments you did on her damage her DNA?" I feel sick, like I already know the answer to that question.
"... Yes."
"My body is suffering the same effects as my mother," I finally look up to glare at him, "You knew this would happen."
"We anticipated that it may happen. We kept an eye on you when we found out Laney had another child. I thought maybe you would be okay, but when you were 11, Banning noticed on one of his visits that you looked like you were having tremors."
"Why don't I remember?"
"We didn't tamper with your memory of that event, if that is what you're implying."
"Because that would be unethical, right?" I snarl at him.
"We just modified it a little."
"Elaborate."
"When you were sold to Lawrence, he was well aware that the side effects from the experiments on your mother were inherited by you. He took an immediate liking to you, so he asked us if there was a way we could prolong your life."
"Prolong my life? But I wasn't dying." I ponder, giving him a confused look.
"Since you were affected by the side effects young, they were more frequent and severe. So, you are dying faster than your mother."
"What did you do?"
"We developed a new formula with different types of titan spinal fluid, and another catalyst to prevent you from actually turning into a titan-"
"Wait," I interrupt him, "You can turn people into titans?" How is that even possible? I mean Eren and this Annie girl can turn into titans I guess...
"Not intelligent titans like Eren," He seems to read my thoughts, "Regular mindless titans."
Again, I feel like I should be more shocked by this revelation, but I feel like I have read about it somewhere before. It has to be in one of those private libraries I was in, maybe one of the ones I've seen in my memories from my dreams.
"Anyway, when we injected you, the effects were instantaneous," Peter said, pulling me out of my thoughts, "You became stronger, no more tremors or mood swings, you were faster and far more resilient. It's the reason why you can survive what seem to be impossible circumstances, and why you can heal faster than others. You and your mother were our first success stories out of those particular experiments."
"How many people died for me to live?" I ask him quietly, "How many people suffered while you figured out a combination that worked for me?"
Peter doesn't say anything, just goes back to staring at his hands.
"Either way seems like your success with me is a lie," I smirk at him, "I'm getting tremors and my legs are starting to give out on me." Peter was talking to me like he did me a favour, so I'm finding amusement in telling him that he's failed to stop what he and others have started.
Peter just stares at me, shocked. Not knowing what to do or how to react to this new information. He's probably been trying to believe my lie when I told him I wasn't having tremors when I was in his office last. I mean I've been lying to myself too, I've been ignoring the tremors and making excuses for them but I can't anymore.
"I'm screwed, aren't I?" I laugh, "I'm dead, I'm so fucking dead. I'm so glad you kept me alive all these years for your sick experiments and to suffer. Sucks for you, looks like your miracle isn't such a miracle huh?" A realization dawns on me, "You had a falling out with Banning... That's why you agreed to take me, isn't it? You were mad at him, so you stole his favourite toy?"
"He wasn't going to credit me in any of the work we did together," Peter slams his hand down on his desk, "I was the one who determined the final formula that stopped you from dying! Me! I was the one who started working for the scouts so I could get someone to get more spinal fluid. But, Banning took all the credit!"
The memory in the dream I had last night comes to my mind. Peter talking to Malcolm and giving him a note. The unsure look on Mac's face when he read that note... The reason why Peter didn't tell me he knew Mac before he died...
"Malcolm," I say barely above a whisper, causing Peter to freeze, "Why did you lie to me about meeting Mac before?"
Peter freezes and falls silent, the anger in his eyes from talking about Banning is replaced with guilt and sadness. That's when I knew without a doubt.
"He was one of the scouts you asked to get you a sample, isn't he? I saw you give him a letter... But that's not true, right? You've never met him, right? I'm mistaken, you would never purposely put someone in grave danger for your own selfish reasons, right?"
I can feel tears sting the corners of my eyes, but I refuse to cry in front of him, "That's how he died isn't it? You gave him some bullshit story as to why you needed titan spinal fluid."
"I told him it was for you," Peter finally responded, "It wasn't a lie, I need specific spinal fluid to keep you alive just in case the effects wore off from the initial dose."
Now I really feel like I'm going to throw up, I've never felt so sick before.
"Yes, okay, my original plan was just to keep you away from Banning at first, and guilt because of what happened to Malcolm-"
"My fucking hero." I reply sarcastically through gritted teeth.
"And once I got away from Banning," Peter continued, "I stopped participating in those kinds of things for Lawrence. I haven't asked anyone else to get spinal fluid for me. I've changed, and it's because of you. You woke me up, I had just been coasting through life, just doing whatever people told me to do. I covered up lies and lied for people who don't deserve it. I have not and will never do that again, I was so thankful I had you, living with you I really did start to catch feelings for you and love you-"
"Love? Love?! How can you possibly say that to me?! I will not hear that, Peter, not from you! I will not hear it! Do you understand me? You've helped ruined my mother's life and helped kill her slowly! You're still visiting with her to make sure she stays the way she is and doesn't remember what you have done to her! You killed Mac and you've killed me too! The minute I was born I didn't stand a chance, not a fucking chance! I could have done something with my life, I could have mattered! But the only reason I'm alive is so you guys can say you've succeeded at something no one else has! That you did the impossible, you've saved the unsavable! But the only reason I need saving is because of you people! And to top it all off, the only other reason I'm alive is because people died in your experiments allowing you to fine tune a formula for me! I'm not worth that! And you put that on me too!"
"Please, (y/n)-"
"Don't say my name!"
"You're getting worse if your legs are starting to give out, I have to inject you again. Otherwise you'll die!"
"How long do I have?"
"I don't know, (y/n), from what you were like before we injected you, I would say maybe a year at most. Which is why we have to act now, please. Don't let yourself die because you want to punish me."
"No! You're not touching me, never again. Stay away from me. You don't get to make decisions about my life, it's my body!"
"(Y/n), be reasonable," He pleaded, "Please don't let this happen because you're angry with me."
"Angry with you, is that what you think? I'm disgusted with you, I can barely stand to look at you."
I get up from my seat and walk toward the door, "(Y/n)!"
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. The scouts need you and I happen to think you're an amazing father to your children and I won't take that away from them. We both know if Ellen ever found out about what you have done, she would never let you anywhere near those kids again. I can't go to higher ups because they will silence me, and just say that I'm just a rambling drunken slut who doesn't know what she is talking about, just like in that article Katrina wrote."
"Please, (y/n) please! I can give you more time, the last formula I made, if I could just manipulate it a little bit more and take another sample from you, by my estimate I can give you at least 10 more years!"
"I don't want your help, because you helping me is also helping you. And I refuse to do that."
"So, you are going to let yourself die to spite me?"
"So do something! Go run and tell Beth or Ben or anyone here to help you hold me down. Oh wait, then you would have to explain to them why you need to inject me." I challenge him, "It's not like I can say anything, no one in Wall Sina will believe me. That's why they manipulated Katrina against me, isn't it? You guys needed to discredit me ahead of time in case I remembered and started to tell others what has really been going on."
I walk out and slam the door behind me. I run full tilt to my room, hoping that Sasha would still be in the Mess Hall stuffing her face with food.
Of course I don't want to die, the thought terrifies me. But I don't want to live on someone else's terms. I'm going to make the most out of the time I have and find out as much as I can and expose this system for what it really is. I'm not going down without a fight.
Peter and Banning may have been the ones who have been messing with my mother's mind and body, as well as mine. But I know Laurie and David are the ones who call the shots. I am going to expose them if it's the last thing I do. They are not going to get away with this. I need to figure out what memories have been taken from me. But how?
I finally reach my room without running into anyone else, thankfully.
As soon as I close the door I crumble to the floor. The interaction I had with Peter was still playing over and over in my mind.
"Dead woman walking!" I hear someone say cheerfully.
I get up and whip around to where I hear a male voice behind me, it was Kenny, "How the fuck did you get in here?"
"I have my ways," He laughs as he stands up from sitting on my bed, "So, talked to Thompson I imagine, judging by the look on your face."
I just glare at him as my response, "Why are you here?"
"To be a shoulder to cry on of course!" He jokes, "You know, I kind of know how you feel, my family is a product of titan experimentation too."
"Is that so?" I scuff, "Are you also dying because of it?"
"Nope!" He smiles, "Makes me better actually! Unlike for you, where it is both killing you and keeping you alive. Like some weird undead bitch. Plus, the people who dealt with my ancestors knew what they were doing and had access to the good stuff. Unlike the amateur experiments they did on you and your mother. But I suppose they had to work with what they had."
"Oh god," I give him a shocked expression, "Please don't tell me this means we are related in some weird way."
"You wish," He laughed, "If we were related in some way, you would be in a much better position."
"Just tell me why you're here and then get the fuck out." I growl, growing impatient with his senseless chatter.
"Straight to the point, I like it! I happen to have a list of names of people who contributed to what has been going on at Pearson's."
"And what would I want with them?"
"Revenge of course."
"What's in it for you?" I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously.
"Given my current position, I have to stay somewhat on the MP's good side. I can't go around murdering people that are helping them do sketchy stuff that they get into. My position will be much better with a certain confidant of mine if these men were to... Disappear."
"... Are you sure you're Kenny the Ripper, how the hell are you butt buddies with the MPs now?"
"I have my reasons, which is why I want you to take care of them for me."
"So that's why you wanted me to find out the truth," I smirk at him, "So I would be motivated to do your dirty work for you?"
"Yes and no, you can think of it as me giving you an opportunity to get revenge on the people who wronged you and your mother."
"What's done is done," I shrug, annoying Kenny, "I don't have any interest in playing your game, Kenny."
"Sure sure, but in case you change your mind, here is the first man on your hit list," He says as he places a folder on my bed, "You only get one at a time though, you have to pay to play! You do this for me, and every asshole you dispose of, I'll offer you information that may help you get your memories back."
Was that something I even wanted? There is just too much happening right now that I can't even think straight.
"What makes you think I want my memories back? From what I gather, they weren't all fun and happy times."
"You're not a person who is satisfied with ignorance, unlocking your memory is unlocking the information you're looking for that is stuck in that thick skull of yours."
Despite my moral code, I can feel myself responding to what he was saying. With the little time I do have left, wouldn't it be best for me to find out all I can? I can give anything I find to Erwin or Hange, they would know what to do with it. Who knows what they will be able to do with the information I have forgotten.
Even if it means I remember things I don't want to, especially when it comes to taking advantage of people. I need to know, I have to do something with my short life.
"So, what was last night really about?" I raise an eyebrow at Kenny, "Are you 2 breaking up? Mommy and daddy getting divorced?"
"Don't worry, no matter what happens between him and I, we still love you no matter what." He jokes with a smirk, "I just think we have come to a point in our relationship where we should start seeing other people. He just doesn't satisfy me anymore."
"But Kenny, if your love doesn't last, how will I ever believe in love again?!"
"So, do we have a deal?" Kenny asks, reaching out his hand for me to shake.
"I'll think about it." I walk past his outstretched hand and grab the file he put on my bed.
"Edmund Digman," I read the name at the top of the file, "Should I know who he is?"
"He's one of the main guys in the underground in that gang I sent after you. I need him dead, plus he is also the one who informed Banning where to find your mother. So, he is also a secret informant protected by Lawrence."
"... You want me to go back to the underground and track him down, why?"
"You don't need to know all the details. I want him dead, you kill him, you're one step closer to your memory being restored."
"I don't think I want to have to serve 25 to life in jail for my memories."
"Well, as we have established, you're a dead girl anyway, what do you have to lose at this point?" He laughs, "Besides, he's also a wanted criminal, you kill him, no one is going to care. Apart from Lawrence of course."
"Then why don't you kill him."
"I already told you, I have to keep a low profile for the time being."
I skim over the file a bit and see a sketch of him. He does look familiar, but I don't think he was one of the men chasing me in Stohess.
"Think about it," Kenny prompts me, "Once I have confirmation he is dead, I'll offer up some more information you should find useful."
He turns away from me and heads for my window. Ah, so that's how he got in undetected.
"Later." He tips his hat and ducks through my window.
This is too much to process, I feel like I can't even think straight right now. I need a distraction; I just need to not think about any of this for right now. It's a lot to take in for one day. I have maybe a year left to live... Half of that time I'll be like my mother, trapped in my own mind and not being able to control my body.
Not being able to trust Peter anymore is a big blow though. I don't know if I could ever forgive him for being apart of this whole thing.
I shake my head, hoping that will help me think about something else. First things first, I need to have an existential crisis in the shower, then I'll have to figure out something else to do so I'm not driving myself crazy. I can think of a very good distraction... Erwin.
Erwin's POV:
Well, that meeting went a lot longer than I expected, but I guess it makes sense when Hange is involved. I tried to dodge her personal questions as best I could, she is a persistent one.
Heading back to my office I'm trying to think of the best way to meet up with (y/n) again. I've had her on my mind all day, and I really want to hear how her visit went.
What's the best way to get her here? Should I go get her? Get someone else to bring her here for something? That might be a little too weird for her.
I didn't see her at dinner, I thought for sure she would be back by then. I hope everything is okay with her.
I finally make it to my office and let myself in. As I close the door behind me, I realize I'm not the only one in here.
"Erwin! Hi!"
I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration when I see Marie standing there. How has she not understood that I have no interest in rekindling things with her. If anything, this behaviour just pushes me away even further, now I can't even really stand to speak with her or look at her.
"I understand you're angry and probably don't want to see me here. But I just want to get something off my chest. Just let me explain some things to you, please. If you listen to everything I have to say, and you still want me gone, I promise I will leave, just hear me out."
I sigh heavily, I really don't have the energy to deal with this. But if hearing her out means she will leave me alone for good after this, then fine.
"Fine," I answer her, "But make it quick."
"Plans with (y/n)?" She tried to let out a playful laugh, but I could tell it was for show.
"Can you just say what you came to say and go, I'm really not looking to have you here longer than what is necessary."
"Fine fine, I understand. Look-"
A knock at my door interrupts her, and the person walks into my office. Of course, it had to be (y/n), this is the worst timing.
"Erwin, hey I-" She pauses when she sees Marie there too, "Oh...Hey, sorry for interrupting."
More than anything I wanted to kick Marie out and keep (y/n) here. But at the same time, I know Marie isn't going to leave me alone unless she says whatever she came here to say. So, making her leave now wouldn't help the situation, she would just come back later.
I want this to be the last time Marie bothers me, so I'll have to see (y/n) later, "(Y/n), sorry just give me a little bit."
Her (e/c) eyes go wide, "You're asking me to leave and not the married obsessed woman? Does Nile know you're here, Marie?" (Y/n) bites her lip and her face goes red, "No, sorry that was rude of me, I'm sorry. It's none of my business."
She backs out of the doorway and closes it behind her. Fuck, I was not expecting that. I hope she doesn't think I have any intentions of hooking up with Marie, I'll explain it to her later.
"Wow," Marie smirked, "Someone is a little defensive."
"Don't talk about her to me, our relationship is none of your business," I round on her, "Just say what you came to say and go."
"Fine." She lets out a frustrated sigh and sits in the chair across from the one behind my desk.
"Look, I'm sorry about how I acted last night," She says quietly, "I just, I guess I was taken aback when you openly showed your affection for (y/n)."
"That's why you're here?" I roll my eyes at her, "To talk about (y/n) again?"
"I'm just trying to understand, Erwin," She agonized, "I always thought the reason we couldn't work out was because you couldn't have those kinds of feelings for anyone. It's bothering me, Erwin, you pushed me away and we could have had something amazing."
"And I fail to understand why you are still so hung up about what happened years ago," I argue, "I mean seriously, Marie, you're married and have kids haven't you moved on by now?"
"I know that! I love Nile and our kids. But ever since last night all these old feelings have been resurfacing, and I can't make them go away."
"Try harder."
"How can you be so cold, Erwin?"
Ugh this may take longer than I thought. I thought she had closure years ago. I'll try not to cut her off, I know this is something she really just needs to say. I just hope that she gets whatever she needs out of this pointless conversation and can finally leave me alone again.
Your POV:
Well.... I definitely wasn't expecting that. What is Marie doing here? I thought Erwin rejected her on more than one occasion, what is her deal?
Clearly Erwin is busy at the moment, I'd like to say I wasn't even slightly hurt that he asked me to leave instead of her... But I was a little taken aback by this. I know I shouldn't be, what he does with other people has nothing to do with me and I have to remember that.
I guess I will just head back to my room, nothing else to do but lay awake thinking about my ultimate fate. Should I go along with Kenny's plan? Ultimately, I suppose it depends on who the people are he wants me to target. Maybe if I can get those memories back, I'll be able to help the scouts somehow.
Helping the scouts has been my goal coming here in the first place. Since Laurie's people were indeed experimenting on my mother and I, and others as well, I'm sure. They have to know more about the titans than they are letting on. Why else would they be using their spinal fluid to experiment with? That's the reason they tampered with my memory too.
Did they use similar techniques when it came to erasing people from other's memories? Like how Andrea was erased from everyone's memories... Or were those types of situations different? My mother and I seem to be the only ones whose health suffered as a consequence. Stranger still, though my physical symptoms resemble that of my mother's, but her mental state is much worse than mine. What was done differently to us?
I almost make it back to my room when I hear someone call my name. I turn around to see Sasha running up the hallway, "(Y/n)! There you are! I've been looking for you, how was your night last night?"
"It was okay I guess, what is your rush?" I laugh at her urgency to get me to ask how my night went.
"Captain Levi was looking for you when we were all in the Mess Hall," Sasha explains, a little out of breath, "He asked me to find you and send you to his office."
Levi? Does he want to check up on me? He knows that I was dealing with something, but doesn't know what. It's sweet that he cares, so adorable. Maybe this could work as a distraction, my mind is still going crazy.
"Okay, thanks Sasha, I'll see you later." I wave at her as I turn in the direction of Levi's office.
Levi's POV:
Maybe I shouldn't have sent Blouse to bring (y/n) to my office, whatever she is going through it sounds stressful. But I couldn't help myself, I need to make sure she is doing okay.
I'm starting to gross myself out, I've never done anything like this before. I have never been so hung up on someone before (y/n). Erwin may have gotten to her first, but that's not going to stop me from pursuing her.
I have to admit when I saw the hickeys on her neck, I wanted to find Erwin and punch him. But what would that solve? Nothing.
I don't even know what I'm going to say to her when she gets here... Should I express my desire for her? It seems she already knows that, I guess I haven't exactly been hiding it.
Ugh, when did I become this person? At least I was able to control myself in the past, and just avoid having to deal with what I feel for her. But since Erwin has made his move, I have to make mine. I'm not going down that easily.
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door and someone opening it. It was (y/n), "Sorry to disturb you, sir. Also sorry for just walking in, but the act of you asking who is at the door seems to annoy you. So, I weighed my options and decided I would just open the door and reveal myself right away, and maybe you wouldn't be as annoyed...."
"... You're rambling, what's wrong?"
"Nothing I can't handle myself, Levi. What did you need?"
"You weren't at dinner, I got worried."
"That's so sweet, but I'm fine. Is that all?"
"No, have a seat." I say, gesturing toward the chair that is across from mine at my desk. I notice her bite at her lip nervously before she nods and sits down. Her intoxicating lavender scent wafts over to me and her (h/c) hair looks a little damp from a recent shower.
"How did it go with Dr. Thompson?" I ask her.
"Fine."
"You don't look fine, I can see it on your face. You're not as good at hiding your emotions as you think."
"It's cute that you care, Levi. What did I miss for dinner? Anything good?" She asks quickly.
"You're changing the subject." I note.
"Yep."
"Are you just going to avoid talking about personal issues until you die?"
She tried to suppress a giggle by covering her mouth with her hand. What was so amusing about what I said?
"What's so funny, brat?"
"You wouldn't get it."
"Try me."
"Why did you call me here, Levi?"
"I wanted to speak with you."
"You've spoken to me, so what now?"
"You're frustrating." I sigh.
"You're the one who called me here, and it's not to talk about how I'm feeling. And I didn't come here so I can share personal details about myself." She says as she rolls her eyes. I couldn't stop my eyes from staring at her midriff as she stretches her arms up, causing her shirt to lift up a bit showing off her stomach.
She notices what I am looking at and smirks at me, "Ah, bad Levi, is that why you asked me to come?"
"It is not." Though the thought did cross my mind.
She giggled and leaned forward in her seat a bit, further distracting me since I could see the top of her breasts peeking out.
"You're trying to distract me so I'll stop trying to ask you personal questions." I note out loud.
"Mhmm," She smiled and nodded, "Is it working?"
"Yes."
She sits back again in the chair and studies me, almost like she is waiting for me to make a move. I flex the stiffness out of my fingers; I didn't even know I was clutching my arm rests that hard.
"Okay," She sighs, "Well if that's everything, I think I'll be going then. Good night, Captain Levi." She teases me. I've held back for awhile, but I don't know if I can do that anymore.
She makes her way slowly to the door and I get up and make my way after her. She puts her hand on the doorknob and starts to open the door before I close it.
I press myself against her, letting her feel how badly I need her, "I want you, (y/n)." I whisper lowly into her ear, making her shiver as I bite gently on her earlobe. She pushes her ass into my groin, making me growl and press against her more.
"Finally, I thought you were never going to say it." She giggles as she reached for the lock on my door. Once I hear the click, I turn her around to face me. I'm not wasting anymore time I've been waiting ages to kiss those beautiful lips of hers. She has no idea what she is in for, I smirk to myself. Oh, the things I plan to do to her tonight, she is going to be sore in the morning.