…..
September 2023
Dean and Camille had settled into college life. Mainly Camille as Dean had already experienced this once.
Camille had majored in Pre-med and was already starting to get pretty busy.
She was also constantly on face time with his mom and had picked out a dress. With that in mind Dean decided today he should go and get a tux. Might as well call up Jackson and ask him to come, he thought about his brother for a split second… would Dante want to come?
So when he got a break he walked outside to a little table that sat under a tree. The leaves on it various shades of red, yellow, and orange. Some scattered around on the ground.
He pulled out his phone scrolling down his contacts. He ended up calling Jackson first and asking him to come to the wedding. He of course had told Jackson he proposed but he didn't tell him they were getting married that quickly.
Jackson had congratulated them and said he'd be more than happy to come. He asked how their college life was going so far and complained of how busy he was. Dean felt happy joking around with him, but also bittersweet. They didn't used to have to keep up like this because they knew what the other was doing everyday. It was like a barrier had been put between them that no one could take away. That would probably eventually end up taking over. Jackson left to go to college down in Arizona. Dean couldn't even drive to visit him if he wanted. He didn't have the time.
Dean too had went into Pre-Med. He was aiming to be a general surgeon. Camille the brillliant mind she always was wanted to be a Cardiothoracic surgeon. He knew she would do it.
After the call with Jackson he sat there for a few minutes trying to build the willpower to call his brother and eventually forced himself to hit the button.
*Ring~ Ring~ Ring~*
"Hello?"
"Dante? It's me, Dean."
"Oh, how, how have you been?"
Dean was momentarily thrown off by the formal kind of greeting. Then he reminded himself that he hadn't seen his brother in years. They'd both grown to be different people.
"I've been good, honestly real good." Dean answered.
"That's great man… I'm glad to hear that, I really am."
Dean mentally took a deep breath and then said. "So… I met a girl. A great girl. I love her a lot… honestly to infinity and beyond isn't enough to explain the love I have for her…"
Dante chuckled.
"And back in July I proposed to her, so I'm engaged now… and we're getting married in November…"
Dante let out a breath of air. "Wow, you sure, this young?"
Dean laughed. "Hell yeah I'm sure, never been more sure about anything else in my life."
"Well then, I'm happy for you Dean. Congratulations."
Dean smiled to himself. "I wanted to know if you would come… or you know if you could make it, Mom and Daniella are gonna be there and I just feel like it's incomplete if I don't have my brother there on the most important day of my life…"
Dante was silent for a few seconds.
"Dante?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm here. Dean I'd be more than happy to come, I just want to say again that I'm sorry for being distant the way I have all these years."
Dean shook his head. "Listen man, we can put all that in the past, what matters is right now. The weddings gonna be November 16, 2023, so make sure to put that in your calendar right now. I better see you there." He joked.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world little bro."
Dean smiled and said goodbye before hanging up.
Talking with Dante made him think about his mom. Of course she would always love him, and she acted the same around him. Checking up on him and such. But Dean felt bad about what he'd said to her the day his father showed up at the house. She'd told him and Camille that she got the papers and signed them. Now her lawyer was trying to track down Drew to deliver him the papers.
Even though he knew it would be unexpected Dean called his mother then.
It rung a few times but she eventually picked up.
"Hey honey, how are you today?"
"I'm good, but mom, I had a specific reason for calling you."
"Oh, are you okay? Is Camille okay?"
"Yeah we're fine, I… I wanted to apologize for what I said back then."
"When?"
"The day Dad showed up at the house and I flipped."
His mom let out a small sigh. "Dean, honey, you don't need to apologize, what you said was true… honestly I had it coming. You kids probably have so much pent up anger from us…"
"No I do need to apologize, I can't say that I'm not upset about the things that have happened in the past… and the way they were handled but… hopefully one day I'll be able to forgive them… but I never tried to see it from your side. I realize it now mom, now that I'm in love with someone, now that I'm close to marriage myself… You loved him, dearly. You loved him the way I loved her. You gave your heart to him. And he let his addiction take over him and shatter himself while also shattering your heart. Day by day he became more and more like a stranger… nothing like the father I once knew… But I didn't think about how hard it was for you to see the person you loved as a boy eventually turn into a man, and become so corrupted he forgot himself…"
He heard his mother sniffle on the other side.
"I don't know what I would do If that happened to Camille… I know that I wouldn't give up though, I would hold on, hold on as long as time would allows me and fight to get back the girl I love… so I understand now, I understand why even though he had become who he is… why you couldn't let go… I'm sorry for not understanding you before."
Samantha let out a tearful breath. " Thank you son, I love you kids, Dante included… I love you more than life itself… I'm sorry that I put you through those things, that I didn't take you away from the situation sooner… I guess I just hoped he loved us enough to put down the bottle… but I realized that he never would… at least not for us. I'm sorry that your father became who he is, I wish so badly you could feel the love I know he has buried somewhere in there for you… it doesn't seem like it now. But he loved all of you… he loved you so much. His addiction ruined him, and he took it out on the only people who could help him."
Dean blinked away his tears, more like fought them away. He didn't want to cry now.
"I could only hope one day your relationship with your father could be mended. But for now I'll do my best to love you and your siblings double."
Dean nodded, and a few tears had escaped down his face.
"I love you mom."
"I love you too, son. Always remember that."
The call was hung up.
Her words had resonated deep within him. Memories of his father when his eyes were brighter. He looked out together. He was tender and warm towards his mother and he loved his kids. He could remember his father walking around with Dean on his shoulders, throwing him up in the air and chasing him around the house. He remembered when they brought Daniella home, his father had looked down at the tiny bundle with so much adoration in his eyes…
Then he remembered when things first started to change. His fathers job had laid him off for a fight with a coworker. His father had been trying to defend himself. A man there had said racist things to him everyday, he let his anger get the best of him.
He drank that night. For the first time he drank. Then he found out his father got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer… it was too late to do any treatments to get rid of it, and he was diagnosed terminally ill. He had been so close with his father. For the next six months he had watched him slowly fade away, practically begging to go from the pain. The day he had finally died his father hadn't returned home. Dean found out when he was older that he had spent the night at a bar, and from then on he just wasn't the same.
Dean felt pity for him, but so much anger towards him as well. The child in him cried out wishing for the father that had once loved him.
He was haunted by the words his father said to him that day. But he knew none of them were the reason he drank. The reason he drank was because he couldn't cope with the pain he had felt then. And the more he drank the more that pain grew… to the point he'd never stop if he could have that relief.
He wanted to have a conversation with his father… one where they weren't fighting each other, he wanted to ask him what happened… why he didn't love them anymore… No… why he wouldn't allow himself to love them anymore.