Dean laughed to himself. He was out here sitting in the cold like an idiot crying to himself.
He wiped his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree. It was cold and rather great outside, but the sting of the cold air felt good. It proved he wasn't numb to feeling like he was afraid he'd become.
Meanwhile….
Camille had been online searching up fairy lights and flowers. She'd been on more wedding websites than anyone could count. She found a genuine happiness in this. She couldn't wait. Just two more months and then she would never have to say goodbye to him again, she'd always be right there next to him.
Just as she got her phone out to call Dean her screen lit up. The word ~Mother~ filled her screen.
Camille hesitated for a moment and then reluctantly hit the answer button.
"Hello…"
"Hello… It's me. Mom."
"I know."
"I'm in town today… I came to meet a girlfriend who moved up here a while back. Would you like to meet up? Grab a coffee?"
Camille wanted to refuse. She really did. But there was also that part of her still longing for her mother's affection.
"Sure…. What time? I have to make sure I have the time…"
"I was thinking around 3:00."
"Um.. okay, I'll see if I'm free, just give me a moment."
Camille turned away and flipped through her schedule. She didn't have anything like studying planned for three o'clock so she figured she was free. Why not?
"Um, yeah. I have the time. Just send me the location and I'll be there."
"Alright, bye."
"Bye."
Camille hung up.
She hadn't spoken to her mother since she left with Dean that night. She knew that she came to the graduation because she texted her. But face to face… she hadn't seen her in months.
It was two-thirty right now. Camille went through her closet and found a simple white long sleeved shirt and some jeans. She didn't know whether or not it was a matter of dressing up, but she at least wanted to look presentable.
She combed her hair back into a low ponytail and put in small gold hoop earrings. She applied light makeup and then put on a black leather jacket and black boots.
She grabbed her wallet and phone and then checked her messages. She saw the location from her mom. It wasn't very far. About two blocks away. She ordered and uber and texted Dean.
It wasn't long until she arrived. When she got out after thanking the driver she could see her mother sitting in a chair staring down at her coffee. Camille walked up the steps of the cafe and entered in. A little chime signaled a new customer.
Camille walked to where her mother was and sat down slowly onto the seat.
She looked just like how she remembered. And then she didn't, there were things that were different. Camille noticed it.
Her eyes looked sunken in, as if she'd become more tired. There were strands of grey in her hair which she always kept dyed blonde. Her nails weren't done for once. Though she was dressed nicely and her hair was done. The things she had always done, she didn't do them. It gave Camille a sinking feeling.
"Hello Camille… how have you been these past few months…"
Camille cleared her throat. "I've been well… how have you been."
"Good… actually I have a few things I wanted to say to you."
Camille nodded and sat quietly waiting nervously.
"Since you left.. I had the past few months to sit alone and reflect on my behavior and I realized that I have not been in anyway a good mother. I… I blamed you for things that were out of your control."
Camille still sat quietly listening to her talk.
"I guess I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." Her mother said with a slight grimace on her face. It was strange to see her apologize. Camille could tell she meant it even if she didn't want to say it.
"Thank you… I accept your apology." Camille said quietly
Laura cleared her throat. "Your father officially left me. I always knew he had affairs while he went wherever the hell he went. But apparently this time… he was in Italy and met a nice woman. That's what he told me. He said since you graduated and were on your own now, there was nothing bounding us together… I always saw it coming."
Camille nodded. "I'm sorry mom, I know you cared about him."
Her mother didn't respond. Her lips were set in a grim line as she stared out the window.
Camille didn't have much to say about her father, since her father had originally decided to leave and start being unfaithful she hadn't had much of a relationship with him.
Camille looked down at the ring on her finger. But her mother was quicker to speak on it.
"I heard you got engaged. Congratulations."
"Thank you. Honestly I wasn't expecting it."
Her mother let out a sad smile. "It's ironic… I'm hearing about my own daughters engagement from other people… It's what I deserve. I don't expect you to invite me to the wedding… or to include me in any part of your life. I just wanted to own up to my mistakes. Like I said I've had a lot of time to think, and I'm not getting any younger."
Camille let a half laugh had sigh.
"Honestly mom…. You weren't a good parent to me, not since Dad left. It was like that day he took a piece of you with him. A piece that was big part of you. I wanted to be what healed you. But I obviously wasn't… however I just… all I've ever wanted was for you to love me the way other mom's loved their kids. I appreciate you acknowledging this a lot… I don't plan to exclude you or cut you off from my life. Honestly I've been trying to build the courage to ask you to have this conversation with me."
"Mom you deserve better than my father. If he couldn't love you then, then he wouldn't love you now. There's nothing that would change that. I'm sorry that it took you so long to see that. But he was never meant to be yours. He doesn't want to be."
"I know." He mother whispered with tears in her eyes.
Camille lowered her eyes. "I would love it if you would come to the wedding.. it's in November. I've been getting invitations ready. I just didn't know if I should rsvp yours yet… I wasn't sure if you'd want to come."
Her mother smiled at her. Something so foreign. " I would love to come."
.....
When Camille arrived at Dean's door later that evening she was eager to tell him about today. He would be glad for her.
She knocked and Scott answered. "Oh hey, your Camille right. Dean's fiancé?"
Camille nodded.
"He's in his room, he got back a while ago, he looked at little tired so I don't know if he's awake or not."
Scott stepped aside and let her through. He took his place back on the couch watching TV, and Camille walked down the hallway towards Dean's room.
She knocked softly and opened the door.
Dean lay sleeping at his desk. His glasses still on his face.
Camille sighed. She took them off his face and brushed his hair out of the way.
But Dean began to mutter in his sleep.
~ I don't understand, I did everything I came to do, why is there still a consequence, what do I have to choose!?~
His eyes flipped open.
Camille stared back at him.