William found himself walking through a hazy field of white. Not just white, it was as if the air itself was smoke—a thick haze without color that swirled and swaddled him like a newborn in a blanket.
He knew the ground beneath his feet was snowed by the familiar crunch each of his steps made, but he didn't feel cold at all. He didn't feel anything actually; he was content to just keep walking in this blinding white world where the horizon seemed to blur into non-existence. Yet there was something in the back of his mind that tugged at this unnatural contentment.
The tug made him question himself out loud." where am I...what ..was I doing before this ..something..important."
He felt like he had forgotten something, something that made his heart ache. He knew he hadn't been to this place before, yet he felt an odd sensation of deja vu. The environment felt welcoming and lonely simultaneously, like the feeling you get when seeing the house you grew up in filled with someone else's things. As if this place was something holy that had been defiled.
Something was missing, or someone was missing, someone that made him feel whole. William couldn't even pinpoint when he'd arrived here; indeed, his hadn't always been. There was more than this pure. White, there had to be because when he searched his mind, he remembered shades of blue skies—the brilliant greens of summer trees and the golden sunsets of fall.
As the fog ahead of him parted, William could see a man's silhouette standing in a black cape. The closer he got, the more he felt like he recognized this person.
Luke?... That was his brother's name. He knew that, but this wasn't him. The cold recollection hit him like a ton of bricks.
"Andrew.." Will felt his mouth grow cottony as he stared unbelievingly. This was a grown man, Andrew ..who had been Luke's twin, who had died at the age of 3 in a car accident with their mother. The same accident left his little brother in a coma for four months and himself with several scars.
"Yes, big brother. " The young man said as he approached.
Andrew looked a lot like Luke, with less muscle though he also had long hair like their father. A gentle smile graced the young man's flawless features.
William felt like he couldn't breathe for a moment; he somehow always regretted being the one who escaped the accident with such minor injuries. Seeing his little brother alive and grown was the greatest of gifts. He ran forward and hugged the young maWilliam found himself walking through a hazy field of white. Not just white, it was as if the air itself was smoke—a thick haze without color that swirled and swaddled him like a newborn in a blanket.
He knew the ground beneath his feet was snowed by the familiar crunch each of his steps made, but he didn't feel cold at all. He didn't feel anything actually; he was content to just keep walking in this blinding white world where the horizon seemed to blur into non-existence. Yet there was something in the back of his mind that tugged at this unnatural contentment.
The tug made him question himself out loud." where am I...what ..was I doing before this ..something..important."
He felt like he had forgotten something, something that made his heart ache. He knew he hadn't been to this place before, yet he felt an odd sensation of deja vu. The environment felt welcoming and lonely simultaneously, like the feeling you get when seeing the house you grew up in filled with someone else's things. As if this place was something holy that had been defiled.
Something was missing, or someone was missing, someone that made him feel whole. William couldn't even pinpoint when he'd arrived here; indeed, his hadn't always been. There was more than this pure. White, there had to be because when he searched his mind, he remembered shades of blue skies—the brilliant greens of summer trees and the golden sunsets of fall.
As the fog ahead of him parted, William could see a man's silhouette standing in a black cape. The closer he got, the more he felt like he recognized this person.
Luke?... That was his brother's name. He knew that, but this wasn't him. The cold recollection hit him like a ton of bricks.
"Andrew.." Will felt his mouth grow cottony as he stared unbelievingly. This was a grown man, Andrew ..who had been Luke's twin, who had died at the age of 3 in a car accident with their mother. The same accident left his little brother in a coma for four months and himself with several scars.
"Yes, big brother. " The young man said as he approached.
Andrew looked a lot like Luke, with less muscle though he also had long hair like their father. A gentle smile graced the young man's flawless features.
William felt like he couldn't breathe for a moment; he somehow always regretted being the one who escaped the accident with such minor injuries. Seeing his little brother alive and grown was the greatest of gifts. He ran forward and hugged the young man, who matched his height.
"It...It's you! My God...It is" William was in tears feeling the arms of the other wrap around him
"Look at my beautiful boys ...." A female voice said from beyond the mist.
William looked up at the voice he thought he would never hear again. The white haze parted, and there stood his Parents. His beautiful mother, Julia, with her long white hair and broad smile, and his father, David, with his unreadable expression.
"father! Mother! " The grown man rushed to his parents like he was a child again, hugging them with tears running down his face.
"Oh, look at my big boy !" Julia cooed, rubbing her son's face.
"I. I don't understand this. How are you here? Is this a dream? " Will asked, looking at his mother trying to etch her face into his memory. Realizing he'd almost completely forgotten her in all these years.
He felt worse for Luke; he didn't remember their twin. The accident had torn all the memories away from the little boy. And their father had been so broken after what happened he hid away all the photos of his late son and wife. Thinking it would be better for the boys if they didn't have the reminder.
"Oh ..my baby...This is no dream, your dead love. "
Everything in him went cold at her words, stepping back as if the woman's touch burned him.
"What?... no. I can't be dead!! That's insane! ...what about Luke and...wait, there's something more important ..." William ran his fingers through his hair and squeezed his eyes tightly shut.
Something, no, someone needed him. He needed to remember.
" I'm sorry, but it's true." Julia reached out for her eldest.
"Luke will be fine; he is strong. " David said, his blue gaze steady on his son.
His words only proved to contort the man's face. All the unresolved anger at his father bubbled to the surface. William had spent years feeling bitterness and sadness over the loss of the man before him. Hating him for not trying harder to stay for them but living with him all the same. It had taken so long, and William thought he'd worked through that. But standing here and hearing those words brought it all back.
"Strong, strong like you were when mother died? How you hid every sign of her because you couldn't take it! Or strong when you left us, huh, older man? You didn't even have the guts to tell us you were sick! Did you even try it? Even go to a damn doctor more than once! Don't you tell me he will be strong like you had anything to do with that; he's only who he is because I raised him, not you! I raised him, and I never asked him to do it! If he's strong, it's because I taught him to be."' William yelled back, his jaw locking and brows furrowing in rage.
The words wouldn't stop. It had been so long that he had held onto this, things he couldn't say to his father after he was gone—all the anger and resentment for the older man before him. Every day, he saw his little brother off to school with a smile and then went home to cry because he would never do it in front of the boy. He would always stand in the cemetery in the rain and ask a stone why ..just to have the silence bore into his heart.
William had been forced to grow up so fast just to keep them together. He was holding down two jobs to keep a roof over their head while trying to go to school at night. It had been so hard, days he fell asleep standing up and felt like a ghost just moving through the world.
"You left us. I won't leave him! I can't and won't abandon the people I love, and there's more I can feel it .." Will could see it now in his mind's eye, soft wavy locks of gold, gentle eyes of blue that calmed his hot blood. Sweet kisses that tasted of vanilla lip balm.
"Cassie, she needs me, so I can't die; I just can't ." William's voice was calm, and his trademark determined smile returned.
David shook his head; in a way, he knew he deserved it. The way every parent comes to the cold realization that their best wasn't enough. He was also proud to see what a brave and remarkable man his boy had become.
"Brother, it's not that simple. You can't decide to cheat death," Andrew said.
"Yes, well, not everyone is me! I can do whatever I want so that I will live!" William announced, marching away from his family. The sound of his mother's bright laughter at his back ..how he missed her laugh.
"You might just do it!" She called out. "You might just!"
n, who matched his height.
"It...It's you! My God...It is" William was in tears feeling the arms of the other wrap around him
"Look at my beautiful boys ...." A female voice said from beyond the mist.
William looked up at the voice he thought he would never hear again. The white haze parted, and there stood his Parents. His beautiful mother, Julia, with her long white hair and broad smile, and his father, David, with his unreadable expression.
"father! Mother! " The grown man rushed to his parents like he was a child again, hugging them with tears running down his face.
"Oh, look at my big boy !" Julia cooed, rubbing her son's face.
"I. I don't understand this. How are you here? Is this a dream? " Will asked, looking at his mother trying to etch her face into his memory. Realizing he'd almost completely forgotten her in all these years.
He felt worse for Luke; he didn't remember their twin. The accident had torn all the memories away from the little boy. And their father had been so broken after what happened he hid away all the photos of his late son and wife. Thinking it would be better for the boys if they didn't have the reminder.
"Oh ..my baby...This is no dream, your dead love. "
Everything in him went cold at her words, stepping back as if the woman's touch burned him.
"What?... no. I can't be dead!! That's insane! ...what about Luke and...wait, there's something more important ..." William ran his fingers through his hair and squeezed his eyes tightly shut.
Something, no, someone needed him. He needed to remember.
" I'm sorry, but it's true." Julia reached out for her eldest.
"Luke will be fine; he is strong. " David said, his blue gaze steady on his son.
His words only proved to contort the man's face. All the unresolved anger at his father bubbled to the surface. William had spent years feeling bitterness and sadness over the loss of the man before him. Hating him for not trying harder to stay for them but living with him all the same. It had taken so long, and William thought he'd worked through that. But standing here and hearing those words brought it all back.
"Strong, strong like you were when mother died? How you hid every sign of her because you couldn't take it! Or strong when you left us, huh, older man? You didn't even have the guts to tell us you were sick! Did you even try it? Even go to a damn doctor more than once! Don't you tell me he will be strong like you had anything to do with that; he's only who he is because I raised him, not you! I raised him, and I never asked him to do it! If he's strong, it's because I taught him to be."' William yelled back, his jaw locking and brows furrowing in rage.
The words wouldn't stop. It had been so long that he had held onto this, things he couldn't say to his father after he was gone—all the anger and resentment for the older man before him. Every day, he saw his little brother off to school with a smile and then went home to cry because he would never do it in front of the boy. He would always stand in the cemetery in the rain and ask a stone why ..just to have the silence bore into his heart.
William had been forced to grow up so fast just to keep them together. He was holding down two jobs to keep a roof over their head while trying to go to school at night. It had been so hard, days he fell asleep standing up and felt like a ghost just moving through the world.
"You left us. I won't leave him! I can't and won't abandon the people I love, and there's more I can feel it .." Will see it now in his mind's eye, soft wavy locks of gold, gentle eyes of blue that calmed his hot blood. Sweet kisses that tasted of vanilla lip balm.
"Cassie, she needs me, so I can't die; I just can't ." William's voice was calm, and his trademark determined smile returned.
David shook his head; in a way, he knew he deserved it. The way every parent comes to the cold realization that their best wasn't enough. He was also proud to see what a brave and remarkable man his boy had become.
"Brother, it's not that simple. You can't decide to cheat death," Andrew said.
"Yes, well, not everyone is me! I can do whatever I want so that I will live!" William announced, marching away from his family. The sound of his mother's bright laughter at his back ..how he missed her laugh.
"You might just do it!" She called out. "You might just!"