Felicia looked over at her husband as they drove away from the hospital, the emerging light of dawn casting a hazy blue over them both. The world felt like that misty blue, cold, and almost colorless. It had been silent for some time. At first, she thought they were going home, which was all she truly wanted. Felicia just wanted to be home in their bed, to call in sick and lay there in the soft serenity of their king-sized bed and try and pretend something wasn't missing.
However, she quickly realized this wasn't the way back to their home. Not to mention they were still behind Randy's Mercedes. She knew they lived farther out from the city than they did. Still, no one had said anything about going there. She thought maybe it had been something Randy and Luke had discussed privately. Perhaps they were going to head there for breakfast and to decompress before tackling the heavy task at hand.
Felicia remembered how hard it had been when she and Victoria had to plan their grandfather's funeral a few years ago. The man had practically raised them, and while it wasn't unexpected, it still hurt.
Yet the farther they drove, the less it seemed like they were headed to any residential neighborhood.
"Luke ..where are we going?" The auburn-haired young woman sat up a bit in the seat. She hated having to ask anything of him right now, considering everything that was going on, but her curiosity was getting the better of her. She was concerned when her husband didn't answer.
"Luke, Honey ..." She leaned over and touched her lover's arm, warm honey eyes filled with worry.
"We are going to the lab." Luke looked ahead. He didn't know how he was going to explain this. In all honesty, he didn't want to. Felicia had never asked him what he did at work and when she did bring it up, she took whatever he said as the Gospel truth. How would she feel if she knew what they had been doing?
" Luke ..no, I'm sorry, but I must put my foot down. You need to rest! Please, let's go home; let me take care of you; you can't go back to work after… after what happened.." Felicia paused and slid over the buddy seat next to her husband, laying her head on his shoulder and running her hands down to Luke's larger ones that had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel. "Please, Luke ...you're scaring me. Let's go home."
Luke let out a tired breath; he had to tell the truth. If his wife thought him a monster, he would face it. " We are going to the Lab because of my brother ...Do you remember when you asked me what we did at the lab?"
Felicia was confused but nodded. "Yes.., "
"And ..what did I tell you? " Luke kept his eyes on the road, thinking back to that day. He had come home after a tough day. One of their primary subjects had ..gone very severely. Had it not been for Conrad being there to shoot the chimp, it would have killed Travis, one of Eva's assistants. He had been so shaken he sat on the back porch for an hour. Felicia had come out wanting to know what happened. Wanting to know what they were doing that had him so out of sorts, he couldn't say. How could he have told her about that? Felicia and her kind ways and love for all creatures, big and small. Maybe that made him a coward, but he couldn't do it.
"Um...You said you did work that could help people one day. "
"Yes, well, today we are going to help William. I know how it sounds, and I can't explain how; see that I never told you because I never wanted to frighten you. " He didn't know how else to say it. One can't just come out and say, hey honey, how was your day? I spent mine reanimating corpses...no that's not a proper dinner conversation. So he never said it. What he did say about it being something to help someone one day wasn't a lie, not really.
"But Will is... " Felicia pulled away. What Luke was talking about wasn't possible, was it? Felicia had grown up a devoted Catholic, even to suggest such a thing was. But the look on her lover's face, the tears that stained his cheeks, hurt her just as much. She wonders about her sister. If it had been Victoria, it could easily have been. The apartment was right next door. ….. And she was there in her sister's apartment when it happened. An ice-cold feeling clutched around Felicia's heart for the first time. She had been next door. That man that broke in and killed William …. It could have been her. Luke could have been coming to identify her body lying in that cold and stark morgue. How far would he go to save her?
"I know, and as I said, Felicia, I can't tell you how because I know what you will say. Just know I will never let any harm come to you, and I thought I was protecting you by not telling you." Luke felt his heart clench at the others' silence, the way she had drawn her hands away from him.
Was that disgusting to her? He would have lost so much if this did not work if they couldn't bring William back. Without Felicia, he would have nothing. He didn't know if he was strong enough for that.
"I…I...Believe you, Luke." Felicia looked down at her lap, and she knew the answer. He would go to hell and back for her. Whatever they were doing, what Luke had kept from him, it didn't matter.
Luke reached over and took one of Felicia's tiny hands in his. " Thank you ..Felicia. "
"I love you, Luke.." Felicia took their hands up and kissed the back of the blonde's hand.
Luke responded in kind, kissing the back of her hand. " I love you too."
A car length ahead in a silver Mercedes, Randal was glaring at the road as if it had wronged him personally. The car was silent save for Chopin playing through the speakers. Ah yes, Chopin..the melody to suit his anger.
"Randy..." Liz crossed her arms, looking at her husband.
"Randy ..you can't blame him; William is his brother, his only brother! I know you don't think this is right, but ..."
"But what, Liz? You know as well as I do what could happen! And that Moron Eva knows too! " Randal was beyond agitated and sliding into a home plate of rage. Sure, he loved the science of it all and thought from the beginning that human trials would be a long way off. It was how he kept working. As fabulous as science was and thrilling as it was, there was something about playing god that had always struck a nerve in him. Maybe he shouldn't have accepted the assignment. But damn it, the idea was too fantastic to pass up. Now here he was about to attempt something that should never be tried.
Perhaps if it had been a John Doe, he wouldn't feel this way. But it wasn't. It was William, and so it was different. This was a man he had known for years. A man whose voice he could pick out of a crowd and how, if he closed his eyes, he could tell you how he smiled and how he carried himself when he walked. This was too close…much too close.
"You don't know that! My God! This was the first human trial, and not all the subjects ended badly. We have made a lot of strides! Eva knows that, and so does Luke. Even if it doesn't work, at least we tried. Think of poor Cassie !" Liz countered. She understood why her husband was so against this. For all of his and William's posturing towards each other, they were still practically family.
The brunette was developing a tick in his eye. Why couldn't she agree with him? " For Christ's sake, do you think Cassie wants a monster as her lover? Or what if she gets her hopes up just for it not to work? Then it will be like losing that arrogant douche all over again. How is that good for her? How is that good for any of us being so invested in this ?!"
The woman closed her eyes a moment before letting out a breath. The car grew silent before she made her last attempt. " What if it was me?"
Her voice was soft and sounding a little weary, it had been such a long day, and with all the events, she was running on fumes. But that was one thing that had crossed her mind ever since they knew what was going to happen. What if it wasn't William? What if something happened to her? Would she want this to happen? Would she want her husband to make this kind of decision? For all the time they had worked in the lab, knowing what they were working on. She has never honestly sat down and thought about it till now. This wasn't their only project for the government; this was only one aspect of their research. What all the work would be used for, none of them knew. They all just tried to stay positive and look at the numbers on the method. The only person this had been so personal to was Eva, but now this would touch all of them.
Randal swallowed a bit, looking forward at the red tail lights of Conrad's jeep in the distance and reading that stupid bumper sticker 'honk if you love Heros' repeatedly. He wanted to pretend like he didn't hear her. He didn't want to answer that.
"I said..what if it was me?" Eliza reached over and placed her hand on her husband's knee. She watched the irritation melt out of his face and form something akin to sorrow.
" Liz... I. "
"Answer me, Randy; what would you do if it was me in that van? Dead. "
The man bit his bottom lip in thought; the mere idea of losing the woman next to him was too much. " I'd still be following this stupid jeep into hell. Because I could never let you go."
She smiled, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "I know, Randy; just remember you're not the only one who doesn't want to lose what they love ."