My entire life to this point has sucked. While my parents are slightly wealthy, they are never once home leaving me to be raised by a bunch of nannies. I was bullied constantly at school because I lack any real social skills.
Rebecca, the only person I truly trust is officially engaged to her fiancé. I am fully supportive of her changing her identity to an Apache attack-helicopter but now that she ran off with a surprisingly emotional hunk of 747, I only see her occasionally. I fully support her happiness, but I am basically fighting a daily battle of not becoming a bit bitter about it. They are having a baby and if it's a space shuttle he names it, if it's a F-35 she names it.
One day a mysterious box appears on my doorstep. I however just immediately rip it open expecting it to be by newest manga volume. This kind of stuff is truly the only stuff that makes life worth living. Inside is what at first, I think is a golden teapot. but once I pick it up a purple mist appears out of nowhere and engulfs the room. And soon it solidifies into the torso of a man hovering in mid-air.
After a few seconds they say. "Well, hello there, I am a Djinn from a faraway multiverse. My goal is to create entertainment for my people since we are a race of immortal celestials you see, we are always incredibly bored. So, we invented this, were every millennia or so we go to a random Multiverse and pick some random guy to get three wishes.
You are our One billionth wisher. That means you get the elusive fourth wish. However, there are rules. They are:
Murdering: I cannot just smite someone. Yeah, pretty obvious.
Love: I cannot manipulate the minds of others. One Harem fusing into a star was enough.
I cannot bring back the dead. It gets messy.
No time travel. Where not losing another multiverse to ret-khan.
No more wishes than what the genie has given you. How do you think The Djinn came around. We were given one wish by the creator of all.
No wishing for all knowledge. Having a multiverse become a technological Singularity was again, enough.
No wishing for infinite power. Obviously, we cannot grant you something that is infinite.
No giving any Hitlers/Stalin's wishes. I can't believe we have made this mistake nine times.
No, you may not have sex with the genie before you.
You may ask for advice on anything the genie recommends though if it may backfire, we do not take any responsibility.
And finally, No lawyers or convoluted wishes. That time we came across a judge almost destroyed all of existence.
Yes, all these rules only apply to humans since they are the only ones stupid enough for any of these to exist. Do you promise not to break these?"
I was in shock take about ten minutes to process this before saying. "Yes. Can you Isekai me."
"Yes." Says the genie who is now drinking some wine while cooking an omelette.
Then can I be sent to a fantasy world." I ask with a hint of excitement in my tone. He just responds while flipping the omelette. "Fine… Next?"
"I want Tychokinesis but subconsciously. Life has sucked so far." I state and the Djinn seems to think on it for a moment before answering. "Very well. If you had asked for the active version, I would have had to tell you to make it subconscious since that breaks the rules. Next?"
I thought on it for a moment before saying. "The ability to teleport anything I want with me to a place I've been before but the heavier it is the more exhausted I am afterward."
He flipped the omelette onto a plate that had appeared out of thin air as the frying pan, he had been using disappeared. He then answered. "Very well, but the exhaustion will be exponential. Also, it will almost make you pass out when you travel between worlds, got it."
I just nod as I think about what I want my last wish to be. It had to be something worthwhile. "Can I have a better D..."
"Say, no more my friend. Yes." said the Genie before he finished the last mouthful of the omelette he had made. "Okay so first, I hope you have lots of fun in your fancy pantsey world. Second, make sure to visualize the position of where each thing you're bringing with you when teleporting should end up and you can only go to places you've been from now on okay, not in the past. And finally, your dick has now improved immensely. It is now Ten inches long, with 6-inch girth. You subconsciously control whether the sperm that comes out is fertile or not. You have improved stamina, and your semen has a slightly addictive quality to it. You're welcome, since a lot of us are perverts, we have made it extra powerful. You have about two hours before you will be teleported to another world. Go say bye to whomever you want." said the genie as he disappeared after a monologue that would rival a villain.
I then immediately texted Rebecca to see if we could meet up. I went over to her house when she said she was there for an hour. We talked for about half an hour before I brought up the fact I was leaving while leaving out the whole Isekai and magic lamp part. She got upset and I said I would visit as soon as I could, but I had to leave soon. After leaving I made my way to a survival store. I bought a small backpack with survival stuff in it along with some medical stuff.
I also made sure to go to the local hospital so if I got injured, I could just teleport there. In the end I just sat in the back corner of a café eating a slice of cheesecake and a sipping on a cup of tea. I had the money on the table so if I had to jump, I wouldn't stiff them. I closed my eyes for a second and then I saw I was now in a massive forest.