Hi, my name is Blank Foruman and I'm currently getting my ass beat by two beautiful women with fangs and red eyes; I should probably tell you how I ended up in this situation to cure your assumed confusion…
I was just your average 17 year old highschool student living in Columbus Ohio until the birthday wish I made on my 13th birthday came true and ruined some parts of my life and improved other parts, for example my dreams of getting into a good college and finding a wife and having peaceful life was ruined but now I have bump into very attractive women regularly who formed a harem without asking me and I have supernatural powers that let me use magic and stuff now I guess, but another bad thing is the constant attacks by evil gods, demons, werewolves, and other stuff are really damn annoying, but back to the story when I turned 13 I wished to be the protagonist of a supernatural harem anime, because big booby anime girls are what most 13 year olds dream of add on the fact I was a major "Chunibyo" and you have some pathetic enough to actually wish for that aloud with friends and family surrounding him
4 years had past and I had finally grown out of my Chunibyo phase and started paying attention to my studies but on the last day of school before Christmas break I was enveloped in white light where I met divine planer "4 years ago you wished to be a supernatural harem anime protagonist, you were too young for me to grant that wish then but now I give you the power ability mimic you can do any special move that is a physical ability or is shown to be physical, have fun, bye," I remember the look of cringe on her face as I begged her to not do this but by the time I was able to say a word she was gone, and I was on the school floor on top of something that was pleasantly soft and squishy my fave felt like it had been placed between two ultra amazing pillows I started to lift my self from the ground and realized what I was laying on, as soon as I realized that I was on top of a girl my stomach was about to break my spine given the force from the fist of the pissed off babe I had landed on.
"Damn it Blank!!! you could have confessed first!!!" the scornful yells of my childhood friend Iris Lane pounded my ear drums, but why would she be angry last time I checked she was as flat as a washboard, I opened my eyes looking at the source of the yelling it was Iris but with 3 big difference she had red eyes, skin as white as snow, and was now the woman I dreamed of regularly.
After I landed I spoke, "Sorry Iris, but what happened?" I touched my forehead to feel a warm liquid slightly thicker than water and I looked to the front of the school to find a big hole in the wall through which I could see a truck that was stopped in the middle of the road.
"You were apparently hit by a truck and you somehow landed on me after being hurled through the wall and then you… touched me," Iris explained, looking away while blushing when she said that last part.
My brain remembered the power I have now ignoring the crowd of people around me and the current situation the otaku in me had to see if I could do it, I bent my knees and took a stance known by even filthy casuals as I put my hands together at the base of my wrists and started the chant which will be censored due to Toe animation being the devil for all fan made parodies, "Cooooo… py righted, LAZER" a destructive beam of sky blue light hit the truck as my otaku heart soared everyone looked dumbfounded as I looked around.
"Blank you didn't tell me you were a wizard," Iris said, not at all surprised by what had just happened.
Before I could ask what she meant by wizard Iris had grabbed my arm and sprouted bat wings as she launched the two of us out of the school through the hole in the wall.