I ascended look up the term on urban dictionary if you don't understand I want to monetize this one day so can't be talking about steamy fun times.
I woke up in a black void that was the same color as my heart where my soul fought to keep my legendary power sealed, why am I slipping back into my edge lord phase, but back to my the void a speck of light began to glow in front of me it turned into an old fat dude with Skullet hair dew and shaggy beard.
"Hey son it's me your father I'll be retiring from being the god of power in 5 years so I'll be leaving it to you, I'll pop in every now and then to check on you if you could, keep the fridge stocked with beer for when I come to the enrollment ceremony, also your mom faked her death and ran off with boyfriend Chad so I have full custody now sadly," the old man said.
The sounds of trumpets thundering woke me from my sleep, and a voice announced the coming visit from the god of power in 3 days, I looked to my sides to find the twins fast asleep as the sensation of an needles stabbing every part of spine only became stronger as I looked to the door of the room it was Iris blushing while the her eyes glowed with a hellish fury.
"YOU TWO GET UP!!! WE'LL BE LATE FOR THE SHOPPING TRIP!!! AND YOU MR RED EYE I HAVE NEWS!!! SO GET UP," Iris said with the stereotypical voice of Satan before slamming the door shut.
"Good morning Lord Red Eye, do you want me to help cut down that tree?" Glory asked.
"No thanks, tadpole retention makes me powerful beyond this world," I said giving up on trying to retain a "mature" outer appearance?
"Oh, fertility training? Are you training to get us pregnant?" Roary said with a mischievous grin.
"BLANK HURRY UP AND GET DRESSED THEMN MEET ME AT THE FRONT DOOR!" Iris yelled.
TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 3 BACK TO SCHOOL SHOPPING.