Barty read the next sentence and promptly snorted and started laughing uncontrollably as everybody looked at him in confusion. He continued laughing until Rabastan finally snapped and asked, "What are you laughing so hard about?" Barty calmed down and showed him the next paragraph as Rabastan snorted as well. Barty cleared his throat and started reading with a smirk on his face.
"Severus Snape hated teaching." Barty started dramatically, as a lot of people laughed and Severus looked confused.
"He hated the snivelling dunderheads who couldn't grasp even the most basic knowledge and he would love nothing more than to spend the rest of his days living as a recluse without another child or even adult bothering him and disturbing him from his brewing. He knew even if he was able to ever reach a peaceful retirement, Minerva would not let him turn into a hermit but between meddling old headmasters and Potter's brat, Severus doubted he would even make it to retirement age at all."
"Awweee, I like you too, Severus." Eliza said cheekily at him, as he glared at her and sighed.
"First he had been the unlucky bastard to go and introduce Potter's brat to the wizarding world just to have his entire world view shaken when he had found her in an underfunded, under-everything orphanage and every inch the brash and irritating dimwit he had expected her to be if not a little bit strange.
And then she gets sorted into Slytherin and Severus realises he's been played a fool. Because this too sharp, too cunning, cold, calculating child he has been confronted with was nothing like the bumbling idiot he had found at the orphanage. The girl at the orphanage had been a fairy-tale fool who clung on to happy ever afters and magic and friendship."
"Don't feel bad, I fooled everyone."
"The girl that got sorted into his house could only grow up to be a weapon.
And Severus could honestly say he had no idea who for."
"For myself."
"He had seen how she acted when the headmaster was around of course, she played the crackpot old fool as well as she had played himself but Severus knew that no golden girl could topple the Malfoy's claim to leadership. He had almost choked on his tea when he had seen her take that seat."
Bellatrix started cackling, "C-crack-p-pot o-old f-fool." she said between her laughter.
"And then off she had toddled to visit the resident half breed oaf Hagrid.
He wished he didn't have a life debt centred on protecting such a contrary brat.
He wished he hadn't done a lot of things."
"WHAT?!"
"Severus sighed and poured himself another cup of steaming black coffee. It was finally Saturday and even if he had to attend the Great Hall for meals he didn't have to see any of the student populace. The thought alone was like a soothing balm for Severus' soul."
"If you hate children so much, why did you start teaching?" Marlene asked him.
"I don't know." Severus said, genuinely concerned about what his future self was thinking of, to teach children.
"He was running through all the things he would have to do today, marking mostly, whilst also keeping an eye on Quirrell because Dumbledore loved hiring the most suspicious applicants he could find. He took a sip from his coffee running a cursory eye over the Slytherin table and abruptly choked on the bitter drink, spluttering as he cleared his throat."
"Why?"
"Because Potter had just taken a seat as leader of the underclassmen court.
In one night she had conquered half of all of Slytherin.
Severus went back to staring at his coffee contemplatively wondering if he could drown himself in it.
Anything to escape the hell Potter wrought with every breath she took."
Eliza cackled in an eerily similar fashion to Bellatrix as she heard the last sentence, knowing Severus would never escape her. Hearing her cackle, many people turned pale, thinking how similar it is to Bellatrix's while, said women herself looked excited at knowing there is a mini her running around. James and Lily looked concerned for their daughter's mental stability, but based on what they had read so far, they realized she had to be a bit insane. But they wouldn't change it for the world.