When they say practice makes perfect- in my experience, so far- they fail to mention how much practice you actually need until you reach perfection.
Gruelling. That's the first word that comes to mind, as I drag aching bones up the stairs to my solitary loft.
Mason showed no mercy once he picked up that damn staff. Even, the ever derisive, grumbling Eric seemed slightly taken aback at his lack of leniency.
Who am I kidding? I knew he wouldn't show any.
What makes it worse is that I have to return to an empty room, where his absence is pressing down on me. Thankfully, I'm too tired to even have a pity party.
As soon as I shed my jacket, I slide under the covers hugging the lumpy pillow to my chest and drift to sleep- a gross exaggeration. Better said I pass out because I don't remember anything else.
A wave of sorrow hits me when I wake up into the blinding light of the winter sun, blazing down on me through the window.
His absence, and the fact that we won't see each other as much leaves an unmistakable mark on me.
I drag myself out of bed, fighting against the mutiny my body is having at my insistence to leave the bed.
Cursing, I slip under the hot stream of water and give myself a moment to soak up that moment of peace. It will be a long day. I know it will. Call it innate intuition, but days that go smoothly without a hitch, are few and far in-between. So, it is kind of the norm, for something to go awry.
A knock on the wall drags me out of my reverie, startling me awake. I sit for a few more seconds under the shower before I go see who the hell is kicking my hatch down so early in the morning. Luckily, I don't have many classes today and I can easily drag my ass around going unnoticed. Hopefully.
When the second knock comes a tad more aggressively than the first, I turn off the shower and slip on a robe, slightly in a hump.
Is it too much to ask to have a shower uninterrupted? Jesus.
Stomping my way across the hardwood floor, just to let the person down below that I'm coming, I lower the hatch, then the ladder, and descent ass first giving the person waiting down below a view of the moon in broad daylight.
Yes, I went there. I'm in a mood, that requires copious amounts of chocolate and ice cream for it to marginally improve. I have none of those things at my disposal. So, chances are that I'll be spending the rest of the day on the verge of snapping someone's neck, just because.
At the sound of subtle tittering, I look over my shoulder only to see Laira holding a box and a red envelope in her hand.
" What are you laughing at?" I jump when I'm halfway down the ladder and regret it as soon as I land in front of Laira. Every single bone in my body hurts so bad that I want to scream. Truthfully, T'aethi pushed me but Mason is hell-bent on breaking me in ways she never could.
Frankly, I'm glad to see a friendly face and when Laira smiles at me, warm and gleefully, I feel some of the soreness leave my body.
" You," She waves the empty hand at me, " What possessed you to come down just in your bathrobe with nothing underneath? Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against showing a bit of skin, but you're pushing it, just a tiny bit" She hands me the box and the envelope " This was delivered this morning, right after the gates opened. Special delivery, from someone equally special, " She widens her eyes for emphasis, but we both know who it is from. Is thoughtful of him to send me something to cheer me up? Yes. Is it reckless? Also, yes. I don't see the point in doing any of this if he keeps toeing the line. A wave of sadness washes over me nonetheless, the red envelope in my hand, silently daring me to open it.
" It is, " I say soulfully, wishing he'd be here to deliver them in person. But that doesn't mean, I don't appreciate the thoughtful gesture any less. He is trying to make this work, even though he can't be here with me, this is his way of making up for his absence.
And it means more than I will ever be able to express.
Emotion clogs up my throat, and the letter and the box in my hands blur, making this a painful moment rather than a joyful one.
Laira's hand glides on my shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze, " Hey," She says softly, gaining my attention " It will be alright. It's just for a little while. If all goes well, you'll beat Enniko's record and finish before the year has even passed. I know you, and you'll be just fine," She gives me a frazzled smile, and I choose to believe her because I need a speck of hope. A bold ambition, but I'm not Enniko, and I have no interest in competing with someone who has been dead for over a hundred years. That's just sad.
Sniffling, I pull her into an impromptu hug, squishing the box between us, " Oh, no the cake," Laira laughs, but she hugs me back nonetheless.
" I've grown fond of smushed cakes," I try to put some lightness into my voice, but it is forced and Laira knows it.
" By any chance are you feeling somewhat generous today, and might want to share that piece of cake with someone who may or may not need it just as much as you do," Laira ventures, crossing her eyes at me, in the hopes she will manage to get me out of this funk.
" Yeah," I say softly and turn to climb up the steps while she follows behind. I don't even know why we stood in that corridor in the first place. Today is not a good day for me.
When we reach the loft Laira pulls the ladder up and closes the hatch while I settle at the table to read the note Mason has sent.
I leave Laira to fumble through the small kitchen for plates and cutlery, while I gingerly peel open the envelope.
" Good morning, Canim,
I hope that our training session hasn't left you feeling unwell today. I would like to apologise for taking things a notch too far. We are pressed for time, and my desperation to put an end to everything, so I can hold you in my arms whenever I want is showing.
Jacob will be with you around mid-afternoon to check up on you and make sure that you are not injured.
I'm sorry, Petal.
In other news, Eric is satisfied with how training was conducted last night, but he will still attend whenever there will be more. I gave him the schedule on Tuesday, in a show of transparency. I'm only making you aware, there is no need for you to do anything.
Until next time,
Always
Yours truly,"