Succumbing to exhaustion, I fall asleep on top of Mason. Sleep comes easily, there is no tossing and turning, whenever Mason is around. A bit like my own personal sleeping pill, but without the side effects.
Whatever effect he has on my sleeping pattern is most welcome, because I could use some sleep.
Still lying on top of him, with one arm wrapped around my waist and the other, languidly stroking the length of my back. Needless to say, there is no regret on my part, and the fact that he is still in the same bed as me brings a sense of peace that I only had the chance to experience once.
" You're still here," I say quietly, and glance up to see how long we've slept for. The sun is sinking towards the horizon. It's well into the afternoon but the house is quiet, except for Shay lightly huffing and puffing at my feet. He is asleep.
" Where else would I be," He slides a finger under my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. There is a gentleness to his gaze, searching mine for answers to a question has yet to ask.
" You usually leave before I wake up," I say quietly, he smirks and kisses my forehead in the most loving way you could possibly imagine. If I wasn't already in love with him then, that little tender gesture would have definitely done the deed, all by itself.
" Only to go to work, Canim. After our first night together, I left your bed only to go to work. I was in the office. I work better at night. It's quiet. No interruptions." He gives me an easy smile that lights up his eyes, making them a shade lighter than they already are. I'm stunned into silence, but that doesn't last long.
I have many questions about us, but one rears its ugly head. It has been bothering me, but since he said it while he was angry, I assumed he was doing his best to hurt me.
" Did you sleep with other women? Did sleep with Ava?" It might sound petty, childish, and immature but I need to know.
He gives me a sly smile," Are you jealous, Canim?" He purrs and leans in to kiss me. It is soft, and gentle, almost reverent. It does many things to me, but the worst of them is that, he tends to put me at ease, sliding into a comfortable zone where I trust him fully, forgetting about the outside world.
Gaze locked to his," No," I lie shamelessly, but I know it's no use. He smirks, and kisses me again, delving deeper this time. More passionate, almost desperate to prove his point without speaking any words.
When he pulls away to catch his breath, " Only two. Righty and when that got overused, Lefty" He smirks," Desperate times, calls for desperate measures. And no I didn't sleep with Ava. How could I, Canim? When all I see is you. Awake or otherwise. How could I? When the sole reason I wake up every morning is just to see you again, even if it's just from afar. Even if you don't know I'm there. I'm always there-" He cuts himself off probably because I'm frowning at him. His eyes rove over my features, patiently waiting for me to absorb all the information he has just dumped on me. I'm sure there is more to come.
" You think after you left, I would take my eyes off you. You must be crazy," He says it as an afterthought, and my frown grows grave. He has me watched, if not by himself than by someone else.
" Who?" I push myself off his chest, to have a better look at him. He follows the motions, his eyes trailing down my face, to my neck and settling on my breasts. Tugging his bottom lip between his teeth, he pulls me back down to lay on his chest," If you don't want to get fucked right now, I strongly suggest you put those tits away," He mutters under his breath, tucking my head under his chin.
" Louis is keeping an eye on you when I can't," He says quietly, threading his fingers through my hair. I'm not concerned about this newly acquired pass time, but it is nice to have all the pieces to the puzzle.
" I'm sure you have more questions, Canim, but we need to shower and get dressed. Graham has gone out, but he will come back any time," I lift my head to look at him once more, concerned that Graham has seen us like this, me sprawled all over Mason. He gives me a sly smile, proud of his achievement and chuckles.
" No going back now, Canim. In what world did you think that I would ever let another man touch you? I gave you an out years ago because you were young and guilt ate away at me because I couldn't keep it in my pants long enough to honour my life debt towards your father," He smirks," Unfortunately for you, that was a one-time offer, Canim. You are covered in my cum. Don't even think for a second that I would ever allow another man to mark you as his. And if it's the right time of the month, soon enough you'll carry my baby in that smooth little belly of yours," It feels quite frightening when he says it with a proudful smirk on his lips. I feel like I have fallen into a trap. I'm in love, not stupid.
He chuckles, " So, no baby yet, huh?" He asks mischievously, winking at me, as he pushes himself to sit on the bed nose to nose with me.
" No baby," It comes out all breathy and choked but I kind of want all of those things. Just not right now.
" Soon, though. Yes?" He asks full of hope, and I find myself in need to find someone willing to slap some sense into me because I'm on the verge of falling at his feet and beg. What for? Not quite sure?
" You're forgetting that I'm still in school," I put my hand up to stop him from speaking, but his hands seem to have a mind of their own since they slide up my sides and settle on my breasts," You're forgetting about your soon to be wife," I take his hands off my breasts and put them in his lap. I might have had a lapse of judgment the night before but I'm not brain-damaged, and I can remember perfectly what is awaiting us outside.
That kind of bursts his happy bubble. His shoulders slump as he heaves out a deep breath, eyeing me with consternation.
I'll be the first one to admit that this is bad, in every possible way, but I don't find the strength to let him go. I've been a coward for so long when it came to us that now, I can't quite remember why I gave up on us in the first place.