Now what? I find myself asking, reality rushes in at full force bringing with it, the ugly truth. He is engaged to Ava, set to marry in less than four months, and here I am sprawled under him, ready to let him do whatever he wants to me. Micah is hunting me, and I'm still in school. Societal norms be damned. It came last for a reason. I actually, don't care about that as much as I thought I did.
" You're thinking very loudly again, Canim," Mason kisses the corner of my mouth, his lips trail on my cheek to my jaw and then to that little sensitive spot behind my ear. I swallow the moan caught in my throat when he sinks his teeth into my skin, and when he bites, I whimper, arch off the bed, pressing into him. He pinches my nipple a little, harder and my body arches into him even more, shuddering. The moan that comes out of me is bordering animalistic. I'm not made of stone. You'd have to be dead to be able to ignore a man like Mason. I have it bad. So bad, that there is no cure for what I have.
Mason flexes his hips, pressing his hard length, soothing the throbbing ache between my legs, but it only makes me squirm under him drawing all sorts of grunts and groans out of him. It's official, all the blood has migrated to my nether region leaving me dizzy, and drunk with lust. I crave more, I knew I would. He slides his hand from my wrist, threading his fingers with mine, while his lips rove, from my neck to my shoulder, bitting and licking. All the while, my instincts are running this sinking ship, gliding merrily towards my final damnation. I'm going to hell for this, without a shadow of a doubt, but I'm not even the least bit sorry.
" Canim," He purrs in my ear, and takes my lips, our tongues dancing a well-practiced dance as if only yesterday we were in each other's arms doing exactly this; this particular kiss feels branding because I feel everything he is putting behind it. It's messy, wild, and passionate, stealing my breath, and my heart all over again.
" Petal," Mason breathes against my lips, the term of endearment clears some of the lust haze bringing me back to the present.
Our eyes met, and we both swallowed thickly," Mason," He presses his forehead on mine, gently rubbing his nose on the length of mine, and I was swept away by a million different emotions. His and mine.
Petal
It's hard to express every emotion, but if you could express all that you feel in one word, wouldn't that be grand? And he has done just that, putting everything behind that word.
" Canim," He kisses me again, a little more forceful this time, almost bruising, while his hand kneads my breast, pushing me closer to the edge. It doesn't take much at this point, I haven't been touched in well over a year. All I feel is this unsatiable craving wreaking havoc on my mind and body.
My heart is pounding madly in my chest, while the rest of me struggles to keep up with the rush I'm currently being swept on.
My body is on fire seeking his for release, we are desperately grinding against each other, moaning, and when it comes, the relief is only temporary. It's not enough. It is an itch that I can't quite scratch. Not yet, anyway.
Mason lets out a long groan, muffled in the kiss, and I whimper and kiss him back with the same fervour. I haven't said much, but I'm done talking. We've bickered, argued, said some awful things in the heat of the moment but right now, all seems right with the world.
Panting, he buries his face in the crook of my neck," I've missed you so much Canim," He whispers, kisses my neck and sets his full weight on me.
" You have no idea," I say softly, tenderly treading my free hand over his nape, and then through his silky hair.
He smiles against my neck, and slowly lets go of my breast, to cup my face.
" Tell me, Canim," He raises his head, kisses the corner of my mouth and looks me dead in the eyes.
" Do you love me?" His eyes search mine, and I'm unsure if I say 'yes' if he will believe me.
Smiling, " More than anything....," I trail off searching for the right words," So much Mason. Words fail me...I'm sorry...I never...I thought...," I come up short, because the word 'love' fails to express how I truly feel about him.
" I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't think...I hoped...that you will understand what I'm trying to do. It didn't cross my mind, not even for a second that you'd think I'm dead," I swallow the around the lump of emotions in my throat. Everything is rushing back, threatening to drown me. All the nights I've spent curled up on the floor wishing I'd be in his arms, instead of in a stranger's home. Denmar and Nareen were good to me, but he is my home. Nothing can replace him. Some people treat others as disposable commodities. When in reality we fail to acknowledge the incomparable effect those very people have on our lives.
Mason's eyes flutter closed, to hide the anguish and regret he is feeling, " No, I gave up on you so quickly. I should've never stopped looking for you. I just wanted to give Enid closure. Every time I came back from somewhere, she was so hopeful, and each time, it broke her a little bit more than last time. And it devastated me. I failed you, Canim," He opens his eyes, a lonely tear slips on his cheek and I kiss it away, tasting the saltiness in it. Shuddering, Mason presses his forehead on mine," I love you, Canim. Don't ever leave me again. I like who I am when you are around. I would like it even more if you'd become a permanent part of my life," Mason presses his lips on mine, muffling the sob caught in my throat.
" I love you," I whisper through hot tears, breathless. I never thought we'd ever get here, but I'm glad I was fucking wrong.
Each day is a turning point in life.
" Talk to me, Canim," Mason kisses my forehead, and I look up to find his eyes.
" I never thought, I'd live to see this day," I say quietly, his lips twist with a regretful smile. We wasted three fifteen months of our lives. It will be hard to recuperate all that was lost. But one must try, even if it ends in failure.
" I had to die to get us here. You are a stubborn bastard you know," Mason chuckles, kissing my lips and I wouldn't be anywhere else but his arms.
" I'm home," Mason nods, understanding what I mean.
" Yes, Canim. I'm finally at peace," He says quietly, kissing me once more and I don't want him to ever stop doing that.