The beauty of this moment is overshadowed, only by the fact that I'm doubting my capabilities to resist Mason, if and only he decides to change path.
Right now, I'm beyond confused and don't know what to make of it.
Mason decides for me, draping the coat over my shoulders while I retreat in the only sanctuary I feel safe. My mind.
When I'm in there the world seems to cease to exist. And it's good, but also means that I miss a lot of important things. Such as, the way his scent wraps around me like a protective shield, and his lingering warmth has managed the incredible feat of burying itself in the deepest part of my soul.
Or the way he is looking at me, in this very moment, as if I'm someone he has been searching for an eternity and he has finally reached his goal. There is a certain look in his eyes, that screams triumph. Or maybe it's just me, simply reading too much into it.
" You're thinking very loudly," He interrupts my thoughts, dragging me to the earthly plain.
" I'm sorry. It's just a habit. I'll try to keep it to a minimum, if it bothers you," I say under my breath; although is mostly because I'm feeling a bit winded, and I haven't moved one inch in however long we've been standing there.
" Don't. Not on my account. I don't get everything, but sometimes your mind feels and sounds crowded," He pushes a lock of hair over my shoulder, and searches my eyes for something more.
" How much do you get?" Not being at each other's throats on a daily basis, is something I could get used to. And I find myself leaning into his touch, he doesn't pull away, but I refrain from leaning further, seeking his warmth and the comfort of his touch.
" It depends. Sometimes is more. Sometimes is less. Right now, is more," He says softly, and all of a sudden I find myself in need to think of clowns and other funfair-related characters to keep my mind from going somewhere, where it has no business of going.
" Can you be a bit more specific?" I need details.
With a sharp inhale, " You're worried about my intentions. You don't know what to make of my sudden change of behaviour," He leans in closer," You're worried that you might give in," He whispers into my ear, and I jolt back as if electrocuted. Nope, too close. My mind screams danger, my body screams a lot of things that should never be spoken out loud.
Scratch that, I shouldn't even think of them.
He gives me a lazy smile," Ahh. Even louder now. I'd love to sit around and watch you squirm but I'm afraid we will be here for a very long time. I never knew you had so much to say," He drops his hand off my shoulder and turns on his heels, leaving me to stew in my own juices.
True, so very true. I don't often put forward every single thought that crosses my mind. If I would, indeed none of us would be going anywhere, or getting anything done.
" Lily," Graham shouts, and I finally move my feet to get going. However, there is this lingering sensation of deja vu that stays with me long after I've left the room.
I've never seen the outside of Graham's place, so I push the worries niggling at me aside for the time being.
Once we are out the door, I realise that Graham's apartment is taking up an entire floor. Impressed, I look around the wide hallway leading to a set of outside staircases on the side of the building. So, he has a private entrance or he is more snobbish than I pegged him to be.
The building is five stories high, enough to give you vertigo. The stairs are made of metal, painted black, overlooking a breathtaking lake with azure water, reflecting the sky and the encompassing valley that is equally enchanting.
" During the summer is absolutely gorgeous," Graham says as we begin our lengthy descent. Where is a lift when you need one?
" How did you even find this place?" I find myself wondering out loud
Graham chuckles," It belonged to a very wealthy man who, thankfully passed away a long time ago. He owned the entire building. But had a very loose hand with his finances. When he died, his son was forced to put the building up for sale to pay some of the debt. I bought the greenhouse, because I needed the space for Shay, and also was the cheapest. Nobody wanted it. I had a vision," He says proudly as we descend on the endless stairs. No wonder the man is fit. He only has to climb up those stairs once a day to stay in shape. It goes on forever.
" That's very nifty, " I say slightly distracted by the view surrounding the lake. Meza doesn't appear to be big, nor compact. It feels a bit more like a village than anything else, with houses sparsely scattered through the valley, dominated by lush forests and greenery that currently is buried under a thick layer of snow.
The air is crisp but not as frigid as the one in Morston. Sheltered in the valley, the climate in Meza is a lot milder than the one in Morston.
" Nobody says nifty, anymore," Graham laughs, and Mason chuckles from behind. Shay is leading us down this lengthy staircase, probably more excited than any of us to be out in the open. Although, he is probably able to leave at will, and yet he chooses to stay.
I find that endearing, to some extent because Graham seems to be treating Shay well. He does use Shay as a mule, but it is not a common occurrence. Other than us, I haven't seen anyone appear randomly in our vicinity by using Shay.
I wonder how long it would take Micah to figure out that I'm here and use Shay against me. Against us.