After our short stop at the school, we stopped at Denmar and Nareen's spice shop. They mutely showed me around the shop, most of the messages were relayed by hand gesturing and a lot of pointing, which they followed with a word. In their own way they were teaching me and I was grateful.
Evening came by and when the sun sank behind the horizon, I was already perched on the roof of the house Taethi had pointed out earlier in the day.
She appeared on the roof just as the last light disappeared and twilight crept in. She had changed her clothes to something less formal.
Nodding in greeting we stood facing each other. Taethi assessed me for a good minute and then striked. Her punch was lightning fast and hit me straight in the windpipe.
I fell to the ground flat on my ass the next second she hit her target. Wheezing and coughing like a cat spitting a hairball, I do my best to get my bearings. I was pitiful. I knew that but I was willing to get beaten up each day if that meant I would learn everything she knew.
Taethi says nothing, she doesn't move, her eyes study me with keen interest as I stand back up on my feet and rub a hand over my neck to soothe the pain. If up until that point I could talk, after that I found it hard to believe that I would be able to speak another word in the coming days.
" You slow. See snail faster," She says as she turns to face the horizon. After a heavy sigh, she points at the spot next to her and I take my place.
" You do. I do," I nod and she begins what I assume to be a warm up, because it's a series of stretches, and a lot of flailing.
When we are done she faces me once more and clasps her hands behind her back, " Strike," She commands and I use the strongest asset I possess, my legs.
It is a direct strike to her stomach, she grabs my ankle, twists my whole body with frightening precision and I hit the floor with a loud thump.
" Again," She commands in a stern voice and I push myself off the floor groaning in pain.
" Faster," She commands and I put some extra effort to push myself up.
I strike again, only this time, I punch, Taethi catches my fist in the flat of her hand and pushes me back with such force that I stumble backward and fall on my ass.
She commands me to go again, and I push myself faster up and strike again. And again I end up sprawling on the floor. For once I'm not bothered by it because I need to keep my mind busy, and my body tired. Anything to keep the blooming ache in the pit of my stomach at bay. I know what it is. It's yearning. I yearn for him, for home, for family. I yearn to belong.
By the time the moon rises, I have a bruised bottom, a split lip, and an aching jaw. Taethi is not afraid of inflicting pain. And I'm not afraid of it, not anymore. I need pain. It will help me forget. It will help me drown out everything else. Pain will be my crutch. A constant reminder of what's at stake if I don't stay away.
I need it just as much as I need air.
It's for the best.