After breakfast, I made the call to the cafe where Laira worked. I needed to see if she had time for a quick chat and a cup of tea.
It was still fairly early but I knew she would be there.
The conversation was short, but she agreed to meet with me after lunch and promise that I would give her a lift home.
I had some time on my hands, so for the first time since my parents has passed, I worked up the courage to go and visit their grave.
Enid was packing her things to take the train to Queenieborough. She'd stopped driving since it was too far and Mason insisted that she shouldn't.
" All set and ready to go," Enid beamed, as she placed her bags on the kitchen floor.
" Have you taken all that you need?" I asked taking a seat at the kitchen table, to finish my cup of coffee.
" Yes. And I have to take my medication too. I don't want to scare the life out of people on the train," She amusedly said. And die. I thought to myself but hummed and nodded instead.
" I'm glad to hear it. Let me know when you get there," I added, as I stood up and made my way to the sink to clear up the dishes.
" Yes, Mother," Enid amusedly added and leaned in to kiss my cheek " Be good. I'll be back Sunday bearing gifts. I'm sorry to leave you on your own," Enid picked up her bags, but she didn't look sorry in the least.
" I'm sure you are. I'm meeting up with Laira this afternoon. Do you want me to drive you to the train station?" I offered as I turned around and watched Enid chasing her tail around the kitchen picking up things that she had left on the table.
" No, dear. Adam will drive me since Mason is not around. Also, Louis called while you were in the library with an update on the soup kitchen. The builders are going there today to begin the repairs. It should be done by Monday," Enid added as she finally made her way towards the door. Relief washed over me at the news.
" That's great news," I mumbled and watched Enid stand in the doorway, not quite ready to leave.
" I will be alright Enid. You should go otherwise you will miss the train," I nudged her to move her feet.
" Are you sure?" Enid asked with quirked-up brows, smiling.
" Yes, I'm sure. Now go," She made me laugh. I wasn't a child anymore to be coddled. I had sufficient survival skills to make it a few days on my own.
" Alright. No boys," She amusedly added as she opened up the front door, smirking at me. The only boy I was interested in, wasn't around.
" No boys," I followed her to the car to say a quick hello to Adam.
" Good morning Lily, Enid," Adam said as he stepped out of the car.
" Good morning, Adam. How are you?" I took the bags to stuff them in the boot of the car.
" I'm well, Lily. And you? I heard the good news. Congratulations." Adam replied smiling, as he opened the door for Enid to step in. I've been around with him a few times but he'd never opened the door for me or Mason.
" Thank you. I still have to go through the interview, " My voice faded when Enid rolled her eyes.
" I'm sure that you will pass with flying colours. If they don't see your potential, it's their loss," Eh? I appreciated the blind faith that everyone had in me but that made things so much worse. No pressure. I thought to myself.
" Thank you, Adam. Have a safe trip, Enid" I waved, smiling to which Enid said her goodbyes as Adam shut the door, and slipped into the front seat.
I watched as Adam drove away, and slipped into Morston traffic, as loneliness crept into my heart. Turning on my heels, I made my back into the house, to get my things and be on my way. Lamport was quite a drive and Enid's car wasn't the fastest or the safest but it did the job.
Grabbing my bag and keys, I glanced at the clock. It was pushing nine o'clock in the morning. I didn't ponder any longer, and closed the front door, locking it.
For the first time since I moved to Morston, I was all alone. I wondered briefly if it was just a coincidence or if Mason had arranged to make it so. I shook my head at the paranoid thought and put the car in drive.
The darkened skies didn't seem to clear and I hoped that it wouldn't rain again, so they could go ahead with the repairs on the soup kitchen.
As soon as I drove past the marking between Morston and Karrig, my heart sank for some reason. I felt like I couldn't breathe.
I hadn't left Morston in two years, so I thought it might a little bit of angst since I never drove anywhere outside Morston. Or it was the guilt over the fact that I hadn't visited my parent's grave since they passed.
I didn't know which one it was, but I had plenty to feel anxious about. To keep it at bay, I decided to focus on the road, to stop my thoughts from going on a downward spiral.
It was a difficult feat since I spent quite a lot of time inside my own head. As I approached Lamport, I revisited the memories of the time I almost died. That irked me, even though I had put it behind me as an isolated incident. The medication, I was on, worked wonders. My nightmares weren't as frequent, anymore.
The best part, there was no trace of hideous creatures.
I sighed when I passed the Lamport sign. I was back where it all began.
The retirement community was up and about. When I passed the house, I felt tempted to stop, but I was too afraid to step inside the house. So, I slowed down and looked at it as I passed it. All seemed in order. The memories of my time there came crashing down on me.
And I was quickly dragged back into the past.
My mother and laying on the lawn, in the front garden tending to the flowers, or me playing with the dolls under the summer sky. Making snow angels with my father, and playing chase.
When I reached the cemetery, realised I was crying my eyes out. They were gone, just like that. And after two years, I was finally mourning. I hadn't allowed myself to do so.
I sat in the car, bawled, inconsolable. I was angry, at the world, at God to have taken them away from me, and at myself.