I took a silent breath to work up the courage to voice out some of my thoughts. I could no longer entertain the illusion of us, considering the uncertainty that surrounded us.
" Mason.... I can't...." I whispered, but it was loud enough to get his attention.Mason lowered himself on the bed and rolled onto his side to face me. Three months had passed, and after all the ups and downs, I had no more strength to fight. We locked eyes with each other, when he pinched my chin brushing his thumb over my lower lip, contemplating on the answer.
" Lily" He softly whispered, taking my hand into his and glancing at his watch.
Mason clicked his tongue " I know...." It was a relief that I didn't need to elaborate further. He seemed at peace with my resolve.
" What you're asking...I cannot willingly put myself through it," Who said I had no sense of self-preservation? It turned out that I did, even though if it was a little late to sprout.
" It was just a thought," He paused to take a deep breath," I don't think I would have been able to carry it through, either." He confessed, and for some reason, I felt relieved at that little fact.
" We shouldn't let this change things between us. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me," I was grateful for the offer, but I knew that I wouldn't turn to him unless it was my last resort.
" I better go now, " He said as he pulled himself up to roll out of the bed " I need to have a quick shower and get ready," He said as he padded across the floor to the bathroom.I glanced at the watch. It was almost a quarter past five and I needed to get out of bed as well. After Mason slipped out of the shower, I took one as well and began getting ready as well. The academy was one hour's drive away and I needed to leave the house, at six thirty. I slipped into my bra, underwear, thigh stockings and garter. When Mason walked into the room, wearing a navy blue suit, looking spick and span, handsome as the devil himself, I had to keep my collective thoughts from going astray.
Mason blew a breath and halted his steps, before he closed the door behind him, wearing a somewhat troubled expression.
" I hope that you will be wearing more than just that. Although, I'm sure Aldo wouldn't mind if you do." Mason strolled to where I was preening myself.
" You're blossoming beautifully, Lily" Mason pressed his lips on my cheek, looking into my eyes through the mirror.
" Thank you " I murmured as I slipped into my shirt.
" I will see you soon. Good luck today. Be on time, Lily " He added as he took a step back to allow me to pull on the skirt.
" Have a good trip and be safe" I said as he straightened his tie, and his jacket in the mirror.
Mason nodded " I will. You too. Don't get into too much trouble." He said over his shoulder, grinning and sauntered out of the room.
" I won't," I said to no one in particular and picked my blazer off the hanger. I didn't own anything expensive; that would have been one of the things that I spent more than I should have.
When I was done dressing myself, I had one last look at myself. The pencil skirt, silk blouse and blazer combination made me look a lot older than I was, confident. I needed all the confidence that I could get. I slipped into my shoes and picked up the backpack off the chair. My fashion skills were a work in progress.
When I stepped into the kitchen, I glanced at the clock on the wall. I didn't have any time for breakfast.
" Morning, dear" Enid walked in right after me and walked around me a few times, looking at my outfit, appriacitevely.
" You look so distinguished, wearing a proper outfit. I like it. It's lovely dear" Enid halted in front of me and pulled me into a hug " I love the low bun. It suits you" Enid added as she pulled away from the hug, smiling.
" Thank you, Enid," I said as I glanced at the clock one more time, I needed to be on my way.
" I will take your car, if that's not too much trouble " I sheepishly grinned as I picked the keys off the counter to which Enid nodded in agreement.
" It's a shame that Mason isn't here to see you. He would be so proud." Enid sighed and turned to the counter a bit woeful. He had seen more than you think. I wanted to say but I smiled and nodded.
" I'm sure there will other opportunities. Have a good day Enid. I will see you later." I said as I rushed out the kitchen door. Mason and I in the same conversation was something I didn't want to discuss with Enid. One small slip-up and everything would blow up in my face. It wasn't easy to deflect whenever she brought it up but I did my best to lie as little as possible.