[Notice. I am a system called Reader's System and I was created in order to avoid loss of precious human life.]
[Warning! Severe cases of Bipolar Disorder detected!]
[Warning! Severe cases of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Detected!]
[Read this cringeworthiness at your own risk!]
[You have been warned! (Skeleton emoji)]
When he looked right at me I saw something like idiotic determination in his eyes.
'Just what the hell is his problem?!'
"Just how dumb can you be to understand! Let go of me!" I said as I tried to yank off his hand off my wrist but surprise, surprise I couldn't.
"You think I'm enjoying this? Just listen to what I have to say."
'I can't help but hate him even more! This beta! Does think that by holding my wrist he can somehow convince me.'
Well I'm not buying it!
"If you don't let go of me right now, I'm gonna scream."
"Scream all you want but you just have to listen to me first!" he protested without even flinching at my words.
"What the hell is your problem? Are you so dense that you can't process what I have been telling you all this time?"
"It's because you didn't spare me a moment to say what I really wanted to say this whole time!"
"Akari was right! You are nothing but a piece of trash! I should have turned back the first moment I saw you. You deserve to stay trash just the way you are!"
"Do you really have to be that cold towards me? What did I ever do to you?"
"It's not about what you did to me but what you are doing to me now! Let me go!"
"Why are you like this, Ichinose?"
"Call me Shizuki, not Ichinose. In fact, don't even call me by my name its revolting coming out of your mouth! We're not friends and I don't think I ever want to be friends with a person like you!"
I said as I tried to shove him away.
It's called legitimate self-defense.
Even if I did try to shove him away, he wouldn't budge.
'Where is all his strength coming from!'
"I don't care about being your friend much less your boyfriend. I don't care about that anymore!"
'Did I hear that just right! I must be turning deaf! If that's the case, then what does he think he's doing?'
"If you really want me to listen to you, then first, let go of me!" I ordered him to.
"If I did that, then you would just run away! I don't care if I'm being such a dick right now, but if it makes you stay, then I have no choice." His determination never wavered, not even for a moment.
'Just what could be so important that he's going through such lengths?'
"You are starting to really piss me off! Let go of my hand right this instant before I scar you for life!"
"Then go ahead. Do it."
"You-!"
"Do you really think that I like doing this?"
'What's he talking about!'
"Whatever. What does that have to do with me?"
"For some reason, no matter how much I try to not get involved in these things, they always seem to follow me."
"Save your sentimentalities for someone else!"
Sigh! I'm tired.
"These last three months made me question myself. Am I just an idiot or was I just built differently?"
"…"
"Shizuki, have you ever lost yourself because of someone else before?"
He asked one of the most dumbest questions with a straight face.
"…"
"You don't have to answer that. I can already tell that you haven't. I mean why couldn't you be. All my fantasies about you were washed down the drain a couple of moments ago when I realized how self-conscious you are about the way you look in everyone's eyes."
"…"
"Well, maybe I actually knew that deep down inside but I just did not want to believe it."
Classic.
"Even if that was still the case, my attraction towards you evolved as my feelings for you grew even stronger. But I still knew that I couldn't go through with it because I still knew that you would turn me down again. Just like all the others did. Just seeing you happy was enough of a sight to make my whole day and I could not complain about it."
"So I kept it bottled up for a long time because that was the best choice. Little did I know that I was making a serious mistake. I got so infatuated with you to the point that I lost myself deeply. Seeing you every time, the infatuation grew to the point that I developed limerence."
"You just don't know the courage it took me just to interact with you a couple of moments ago as I could feel myself losing it. I could not even talk with you properly before much less look you in the eye because it's too much for me."
"It was too much to look you in the eye."
"It was too much to talk to you."
"It was too much when you are around me."
"It had gotten too much."
"I couldn't eat well because of you."
"I failed to sleep because of you."
"Even if I got a wink of sleep, I kept dreaming about you. You are all that is inside my head."
"Fun fact. I got the highest record of detentions this month because I have been spacing out a lot lately in class thinking of you."
"Even if in detention, I never even felt the punishment because you were all that was in my head."
"I'm failing to concentrate on my studies all because of you."
"I lost my social life because I have been missing you in my life."
"I cannot taste anything anymore."
"Every single moment, every single time, every single waking moment, it was all you."
"You!"
"You!"
"I hate it!"
"I hated it!"
"I hate how much I felt towards you!"
"Instead of becoming a part of my life, you became my life."
"I could not even do a single thing properly without you."
"I've become so useless all because of you."
"Its not that you did anything to make me this way, it just happened."
"I have become so useless!"
Even though I did not do anything, why do feel guilty!
"I need you in my life."
"I really needed you in my life."
"I don't even know how it happened. All I know is that I just did."
"Every single time I see you, my heart throbs so hard to the point where I think I could lose my common sense!"
"It drives me crazy!"
At that moment, I finally realized how deeply I …" then he just stopped there.
He finally let go of my wrist which meant I was free.
I just couldn't bare to watch this sight anymore.
Its instigating a sense of pity for him in me.
It's like my heart is aching as if I caused all of this.
Just what did I do to put this guy in the state he was in?
This wasn't even funny anymore.
Now its high time I really have to go. I just have to hope that he heals from all of this eventually. I'm not as kind as to sacrifice myself for the sake of a guy who I might as well as be a stranger to me.
Much less if I don't like him.
I can sympathize with him but not more than that.
There is just nothing else I can do to help him.
I decided to open the doorknob but he blocked my way using his left arm as he slammed it on the wall right beside my head. When I tried to turn the other way, his other hand also did the same making me trapped between his arms.
Facing each other in close proximity that I could feel his breath.
"I LOVE YOU, ICHINOSE!!!" He shouted as he looked at me dead in the eye with a straight unwavering gaze without blinking for a moment.
That was so sudden my heart skipped a bit as I reacted to that statement making me feel a bit something.