[Cringeworthiness increased!]
"I WANT YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!"
"I WANT YOU AND ONLY YOU!"
"I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS HAVE!"
"I WANT TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE!"
"I CAN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING WITHOUT YOU!"
"I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU!"
"THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT I WANT MORE THAN I WANT YOU!"
"ALL THIS TIME, I'VE BEEN THINKING OF WAYS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY, EVEN IF FOR JUST A SINGLE MOMENT!"
"I WANT NOTHING ELSE BUT YOUR HAPPINESS!"
"I WANT TO SEE YOU SMILE!"
"I WANT TO SEE YOU HAPPY!"
"BECAUSE YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST!"
"YOUR SMILE, THE WAY YOU DO THINGS, EVERYTHING YOU DO IS JUST PERFECT!"
"YOU ARE PERFECT!"
"YOU ARE TOO PERFECT, ICHINOSE!"
"EVEN IF THE EARTH STARTED TURNING IN REVERSE, MY FEELINGS FOR YOU WOULDN'T CHANGE!"
"I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!"
"I'll DIE FOR YOU!"
That something was growing in me as like something new.
My heart started palpating a bit faster and I felt it increase with every statement he uttered.
Just what is going on with me?
"I WANT TO DO SO MANY THINGS WITH YOU!"
"I WANT TO KISS YOU SO BAD AS IF IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!"
"I WANT TO EMBRACE YOU IN MY ARMS AS IF YOU ARE THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN THE WORLD!"
"BECAUSE YOU ARE!"
"I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!"
"I WANT TO DRIVE YOU MAD TO THE POINT WHERE YOU WILL ONLY THINK ABOUT ME!"
"I WANT TO FUCK YOU SO HARD THAT YOU WILL LOSE COMMON SENSE!"
"I WANT TO DO EVERY NAUGHTY THING I CAN THINK OF ABOUT WITH YOU!"
"EVERY! SINGLE! THING!"
"I WANT TO GO ON DATES AND HAVE FUN WITH YOU!"
"I WANT TO MAKE BABIES WITH YOU!"
"I WANT TO HAVE AS MANY CHILDREN AS I CAN WITH YOU UNTIL WE FILL THE WHOLE CITY!"
"I WANT TO DO EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE THING THAT COUPLES DO WITH YOU!"
I think I am losing it!
Please!
No more!
"I WANT YOU IN MY LIFE!"
"I'VE ALWAYS WANTED YOU IN MY LIFE!"
No more!!!
"I WANT IT TO BE YOU SO THAT WHEN I COME BACK FROM WORK, YOU WOULD BE THE FIRST PERSON THAT I SEE!"
"WHEN I WAKE UP EVERYDAY, I WANT YOU TO BE THE FIRST PERSON THAT I SEE!"
"I WANT YOUR SMILING FACE TO BE THE FIRST THING THAT I SEE EVERYDAY!"
Please!!
Stop!!!
"I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE A LIFE WITHOUT YOU!"
"I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU ICHINOSE!!!"
"THAT'S JUST HOW MUCH I WANT YOU IN MY LIFE!"
I can't take this anymore!
At this particular moment, my heart was already beating so fast to the point where I began to wonder if it was even made to beat that fast. My body was beginning to grow so hot to the point that the wind had no effect at all.
'What is wrong with me? I've never felt this feeling before.'
He breathed out as his hot breath tickled me, like he was exhaling all the frustrations he had.
But that had a strong effect to me as even my body shivered from it.
I couldn't move, like I was frozen.'
As if I was in a trance.
It was now beating so hard!
And I found it impossible to hate the feeling which was growing in my chest.
"But I always knew…"
"I always knew that it was impossible."
"Ichinose look at me."
I want to but I can't.
"See. I knew it. You can't even take what I said seriously at face value. Just a testament of our incompatibility."
"I know that going out with you is just… some inexperienced virgin pipe dream."
"I know that you don't like me, trust me I knew you didn't."
"I have realized just how much you detest me."
"I knew you didn't but I still went out of my way to do this because I knew I would regret it if I didn't do this."
"Even if you hate me for it even more, go ahead."
"I knew that there was no way in hell you would want to go out with a pathetic guy like me."
"I know what kind of guys you like and it hurt a lot when I knew that I wasn't part of them.
"I even knew I would still get rejected but when it finally happened, it even hurt more than I thought it would."
"And more than anything, I have been subjected to believe that people like me and you just don't mix."
"I wasn't completely sure at first, but now I have been fully convinced."
"We just don't mix!"
I felt crushed by the momentum of these four words.
The atmosphere remained silent for a moment with only the wind surrounding us making a sound.
I finally decided to will the courage to look at him only to witness the sadness that was in his raven eyes and I could feel myself break up from within.
Why is this hurting me so much?
"Sorry about all this but I just needed somewhere to let it all out."
He finally removed his arms which were still slammed on the wall and trapping me.
"You may hate me for it, but that was all I had to do."
"I hope that one day you will truly find the perfect match for you and have unending happiness. Even if it's coming from a nobody like me that's all I just want."
He finally made a genuine smile I had never seen before like a huge load had been dropped off his chest.
THUMP!
'What's this uneasiness I'm feeling right now? My chest hurts so bad!'
For a brief moment, I felt like I wanted to comfort him.
I felt like I wanted to answer him.
I wanted to prove him wrong.
But I could not find the courage to do so as I remembered those exact words coming out of my mouth.
"I promise that I won't ever show my face to you ever again. Hope you enjoy the rest of your day."
I could not get that opportunity as he suddenly left, leaving me stranded on the rooftop all alone as my emotions were rampant, fighting each other as I did not know what to do next.
I started to ponder about all those words he said, every single one of them and felt like my body was on fire.
With every second, my heart was increasing its pace to the point it might jump out of my chest.
Every action he did, his mannerisms, his slight facial expressions were doing something to me.
It was like my heart was being attacked mercilessly.
'No. It can't be right?'
I wanted to deny what was happening to me right now.
This could not be happening to me.
It can't be happening.
But as more time passed, I could feel it happening as I felt more and more convinced about myself.
My legs gave in as I felt like energy had been stripped off of them as I slipped down on the ground resting my back against the wall.
"…"
'How did this even happen?'
Never in my wildest dreams did I even expect of this outcome.
I put both my hands over my chest in the hopes of trying to calm down my throbbing heart, but much to my dismay, the more I tried, the more it throbbed.
It was throbbing for him!
And I knew exactly what that feeling meant.
I love him!
I love him?
The moment I thought about that, my body reacted on its own as if confirming my suspicions.
My skin also was turning bright crimson.
I was failing to control my whole body as it wasn't listening to me!
Not in the slightest!
My heart was beating so hard, it became the only thing I could hear verberating through my eardrums.
For some reason, it felt was so warm, so soothing like I was being hugged back by an invisible force and I don't think I have the ability to let go that feeling.
Even if I wanted to.
It was becoming addictive to me as more time passed.
'Am I this easy?'
I just could not process how I fell for someone just like that.
It was out of nowhere!
Like an over exaggerated drama.
Is this what they call karma?
'Why can't this pain in my chest just go away?'
I couldn't even understand what was going on with me anymore.
Images about him kept playing over and over again in my mind like a broken record.
And I started to shiver from excitement.
I wasn't myself anymore.
This feeling felt weird like I wasn't listening to myself anymore.
'I can't believe this is happening to me right now!'
I tried to divert my attention to think of other things but they all led back to that intense scenario as he let it all out.
This is my reality now.
I feel for the same guy I just trash-talked a few moments ago.
I could feel tears trying to pop out of the corner of my eyes but I resisted the urge to do so.
How could I be this shameless?
I have no right to cry.
I remembered the last thing he said to me once again when he said he would not show himself in front of me and I felt a tearing pain in my chest.
The tearing hurt so much like my whole being was being split in two.
Were hearts ever made to withstand this much pain?
If that was the case, I don't want it.
I feel like if I remember again his last words I might burst into tears.
He won't ever want to see me again!
Why did I have to go and act like that?
Now I am trapped and I don't even know what to do anymore.
My life seems to have taken a weird turn.