The ride there was in silence. Neither of us said anything, except when we had first gotten in. She had told me where she lived, and so I decided that I would stop at my house and let her walk back, since it wasn't too far away from mine. But it was starting to weigh on me, the silence of the ride.
Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I turned to Ashley. "So…do you want to listen to the radio?"
She shook her head silently. I laughed a bit nervously. "Okay," I said. I faced forward again, and inwardly, I wanted to smack myself. There were so many things that I was thinking about, chiefly that I had improved as a person. I would normally be used to the silence, but now, it was crushing me. And now I had no idea how to stop it from crushing me.
As we stopped in front of a red light, she spoke. "I'm sorry," she said, so silently that at first I thought I had imagined it.
"Sorry, could you say that again?" I asked her, turning towards her. "I…I didn't catch that."
She said, "I'm sorry," a bit louder this time. "About earlier."
The light had turned green. "It's nothing," I said, turning to her and looking at her. "I won't ask, because it's personal to you. And there's nothing to apologize for." I looked back forward, driving.
She didn't say anything for a minute, then she said, "I…I should tell you something."
"What is it?" I asked, not taking my eyes off of the road. It wasn't because I was being rude, but more that I had to stay focused on the road.
"It's…it's about me," she said quietly. "It's about my parents."
I turned my head to look at her, and she was looking at me, a sad look on her face. "You've told me a lot of things about yourself, and yet I've never told you about my family. Well…I-" She tried to continue, but she then broke down crying. I wasn't sure what to do, and inwardly, I was panicking. I tried to stay as calm as possible, but it was really hard when I had to focus on driving as well as listening to Ashley. So I made the split second decision to turn off of the road and park on the side of the street. I turned off the car, and I immediately hugged her. "It's okay," I said quietly. "I'm here for you. I'm here."
She cried into my shoulder, her tears wetting my clothes. At that moment, I didn't care that her parents would probably be mad that she wasn't home yet. I didn't care about what they would think. Right now, she needed somebody, and I was going to be that somebody.
…Damn. Rereading that, that was a pretty selfish thing to say and do. But that's what I did. And I don't regret it at all.
A few minutes later, she had stopped crying. She wiped her eyes, sniffling and laughing quietly. "I-I thought that I had stopped crying," she said, looking down, not at me.
"Hey, it's okay," I said gently. "It takes time for that kind of stuff to happen, and you're doing an amazing job right now." She looked up at me, her eyes red. "We're human. We're going to fail, but we push on, knowing that one day, things will be different. Of course, if that's the only mindset that you have, then you'll just be the same as you were. You have to have the mindset that you can change, and that one day, it will be obvious."
She smiled at me. "You improved, too," she said, smiling.
"Did I?" I asked her. "How so?"
"You…you're more energetic, more social than you were before. You seem to enjoy being around other people when before, you would have rather stayed away." She looked down. "I honestly thought that you were like everyone else, that you would leave me and never come back." Then she looked up at me. "But you didn't. And you stood up for me…I don't think you would have done that before."
"I guess…" I looked at the time. "I should get you home, I don't think your parents would be happy if you came home really late." I started up the car again.
She gave a small nod. "You're right," she said quietly. "They wouldn't."
I put the car into gear and drove off.
A few minutes later, I parked in front of my house. "Well," I said, taking off my seatbelt. "This is my house. Yours should only be a few blocks down, so you can just walk back."
Ashley nodded, and she said, "Thank you, Chris."
"Absolutely," I said. I got out of the car, and I went around and opened the door for her, and she stepped out. She gave me a quick hug, then she walked away, going to her house. I looked after her until I couldn't see her anymore, then I turned and walked into my house, making sure that all of the doors on my car were closed, the windows were up, and the doors were locked. I walked into my house, and I called, "Mom, I'm home."
There was no response. I sighed to myself. "I forgot that she has work," I muttered to myself. But as I walked inside, I noticed that there was a light on, and there were things that had been set up for dinner for one.
Something was off.
I took out my phone and dialed 911, but I didn't call it yet, just in case there was really nothing wrong and I was just imagining things. I walked quietly and cautiously, making sure that I wasn't making too much noise. I looked everywhere, trying to see if anything was off.
And then I saw her.
It was my mom. She was on the floor, facedown, not moving at all. I ran to her, kneeling down beside her. "Mom?" I said, shaking her. "Mom, wake up! Wake up!"
She didn't stir. I flipped her over and put my ear over her mouth. I didn't hear anything, and I started to panic. I lifted up her arm and put two fingers onto her wrist, to see if I could feel a heartbeat. I couldn't feel anything, and that's when I started to cry. I immediately pulled out my phone and pressed dial, and I put the phone next to my ear. A few seconds later, the dispatcher was on the phone, saying, "911, what's your emergency?"
"My mom…she's on the floor, moving and not breathing," I said, my voice full of panic and tears.
"Okay sir, calm down," the dispatcher said, trying to soothe me with her voice. "Does she have any wounds on her?"
I looked at her body. "No, she doesn't," I said. "None at all."
"Does she have a heartbeat?"
"No, no she doesn't. She has none at all."
"Alright, I need you to stay on with me, and calm down. You need to listen to me very carefully. We're sending some paramedics over to you. Do you know how to do CPR?"
"No," I said, my voice very shaky. "Is she…is she going to be okay?"
"She will," the dispatcher said, her voice soothing. "Now, I need you to follow my instructions: place your hands over her chest, and begin pumping. But not too hard, because that could kill her. Do it constantly and quickly, and every thirty, I want you to tip her head back, close her nose, and breathe into her mouth, so that way you can keep the heart and brain alive. Do it twice, and if there isn't a heartbeat, do more chest compressions. Repeat this until she either wakes up or the paramedics arrive. Do you understand?"
It was a lot of information to take in, regarding the fact that my mom was on the floor, could possibly die, and probably traumatize me forever, but I had gotten it all down. "Yes," I said. "Yes, I do."
"Good. Now get started."
I set the phone down and put it on speaker, and I began to do CPR, pumping my mother's chest. I vaguely remembered how to hold my hands so that way I could pump easier from the movies and from that one time where I was in a lifeguard camp. After thirty pumps, I tipped her head back and breathed into her mouth, and I watched her chest raise up, and I breathed again. I felt her wrist for a heartbeat. Still nothing. I immediately went back into chest compressions, the tears rolling down my face and onto my hands and her body. Please, mom, I thought to myself as I kept doing it over and over again. Wake up…please, wake up! I can't do this without you!
When I heard the sirens outside of my house, I sobbed in relief. I kept doing it as they came inside the house, and I kept doing it until they had to tear me away from her so that they could help her out. I tried to reach out to her, to get to her, but there were several paramedics who held me in place, saying things to me that I couldn't hear, that I couldn't understand. All that I cared about was if she was going to be okay. I saw her get put onto a gurney, an IV drip going into her arm and an oxygen mask over her face. They let me go when they knew I wouldn't do anything, and I saw her get put into the back of the ambulance. I saw it drive away.
I fell to my knees, not feeling anything. I couldn't feel anything. I felt dead. Maybe I was dead. Maybe she was dead.
I didn't know anything anymore.
The next few days were hazy. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I think I went to the hospital, and stayed for as long as I could until they had to kick me out. And at school, I was barely able to make it through my classes. The news that the doctor had given me about her was all that was on my mind.
"It's possible that she could not survive," he had said, looking at a clipboard. "It seems that your mom's heart is very close to giving out. If you want to save her, she has to undergo a heart transplant." He looked up at me. "But…" He took off his glasses. "As you're aware, there are many experimental, and so, expensive procedures that could be done. One of them is relatively new, and it involves the use of the supernatural. Normally, my practice as a medical physician has me reject all theories about it, but after seeing it firsthand for myself, I know that it could work."
"What is it?" I asked, my voice seeming murky through my ears.
"A healer," he said, looking right at me. "A person with healing abilities, supernatural abilities, might be the way to save your mother. But they charge a lot."
"How much is a lot?"
"Over $50,000," he said. "It's very expensive, but I think it would help you the most."
I nodded. "Thank you, doctor. How long…how long do you think my mom has?"
He sat there silently for a minute. "I'm not sure, son," he said. "I'm not sure."
One day, that seemed to be all that I thought about. I could not do anything, so in the middle of fourth period, I was sent to the office, where the principal was waiting.
"I heard about what happened to your mother," he said, looking at me. "I'm truly sorry for you."
I nodded, barely aware of what he was saying. He continued on: "She is a hard worker, and it's very saddening to see someone like that be hit so hard by a medical condition." My brain processed that for a second, and I looked up at him. "She…she told you about it?"
He looked surprised. "Yes," he said. "Didn't she tell you?"
I shook my head. Understanding seemed to go through his eyes, and he said, "I see. Well, Mr. Ward, I can't tell you why she didn't tell you, because she will probably tell you about it…if she wakes up." He saw my eyes go blank, and he added in quickly, "But I can tell you that she wanted you to be as happy as possible before she passed. You can have the next few days off, no homework at all, so that you can recover from this horrible accident and come back ready to take your finals."
I nodded slowly, and I stood up and started walking out when he stopped me. "Oh, and Mr. Ward?" He handed me a letter. "This was from your mother. She told me not to open it or give it to you until the time came when her condition couldn't be hidden anymore. I would like to now give it to you." I looked at the letter and his hands, and muttering thanks, I grabbed the letter out of his hands and walked out of his office.
I walked through the hallways of the school, my footsteps echoing throughout the hallways. My backpack was over my shoulder, and I was barely able to see where I was going. My mind seemed so murky, and it seemed to apply to my eyes as well. I walked out of the school, and I descended the steps that led up to it and walked to my car, getting in and putting my head down onto the top of the steering wheel. With my mom in the hospital, I wasn't sure how I was going to pay for the tuition for the next year. It seemed impossible…this school's tuition was super high, and my job wasn't exactly going to make ends meet. At most, I would probably be able to pay for two months, and then I wouldn't be able to go to Eastwood anymore. I wouldn't be able to see Dick. I wouldn't be able to see Ashley.
Ashley…my murky brain seemed to clear for a few minutes, and I immediately recognized something: I hadn't seen Ashley at all today. Was she okay? What was wrong?
I unlocked my phone and went to my texts. She hadn't responded to any of them, and they hadn't even been read. I exited out and went to Chrome, looking at that blog post about soulmates. I read through it one more time, and at the bottom of the post, there it had the person's email address and phone number. "Maybe…maybe I should call the guy" I said to myself. "Maybe he could help me understand more about this." I started up my car, simultaneously dialing the number of the person who had written the blog. I put on my seatbelt, and I held the phone to my ear. It rang a few times until a person picked up. "Hello?" a voice said. It sounded like a girl, but I wasn't exactly sure.
"Hello," I said. "I'd like to know about soulmates. Could we meet today somewhere?"
The voice on the other side of the call was silent for a few seconds, then it responded, "Is this a joke? Because most people who call and say that don't-"
"This isn't a joke," I said, interrupting it. "I want to know about soulmates."
It was silent for a little more, then it said, "Meet me at the McDonalds on Birch and First Street, and order a drink and a McDouble. Once you get your food, look for a table that is closest to the exit, and I'll be sitting there. Please be there." The line went dead, and I put my phone into my pocket. I knew where that McDonalds was, and I wasted no time in putting my car into gear and driving to it.