After he had said that, DIck and Hailey both said, "No, you're not!" Then they both looked at each other, wondering what exactly was going on.
"So…" I rubbed the back of my head. "Mind going a bit deeper than that? Because that's not enough to really say that you're their parent."
He sighed again. "Firstly, Hailey Tabitha Portman is not my actual daughter, she's my adopted daughter," he said, and Hailey crossed her arms and didn't look at him. She didn't deny it, though. Also, it was weird hearing her full name being said out loud. "And second, Richard Logan Harrison is my biological son." Richard rolled his eyes. "I know what you're both thinking," he said, in a tone that suggested that he wasn't too happy. "So why don't you say it out loud for everyone in here to hear?"
They both froze, and I turned to…Radical. "If Dick is your biological son, then why doesn't he use your last name?" I asked him. No sense in asking him why Dick's middle name was Logan. Probably for personal reasons.
"That's because-" he started.
"It's because he left both my mom and I when I was still a baby," Dick interrupted, and we both turned to look at him. "Do you have any idea what kind of toll that had on Mom's health? Do you know what she started doing?" His voice began rising. I decided then to move out of the way while he continued: "Every day, it would get worse and worse until eventually, she couldn't do anything anymore. She got so crippled, that right now, she's in the hospital on life support that I'm barely able to keep up with the payments. Oh, and how could I forget about what I can do?" He was screaming at this point, and Radical didn't say anything. He kept completely quiet, and his face was like stone. You couldn't tell what he was thinking at all. Dick was pointing at him, all up in his face, a look of absolute anger and hate on his face. "BECAUSE OF YOU, I WAS ABLE TO KNOW WHAT EVERYONE'S INTENTIONS WERE! AND THAT MEANT THAT I HAD TO GROW UP FASTER THAN MOST PEOPLE, BECAUSE I KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING WHEN THEY SAID THEY WANTED TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME, THAT THEY WANTED TO DATE ME. AND WHERE WERE YOU DURING ALL OF THIS??!!?! HUH?!?!? KEEPING US SAFE?!??!?!" Dick was starting to cry while he was screaming, and it was completely jarring to see him so angry, so…so sad. "DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND A FRACTION OF WHAT I WENT THROUGH?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I HAD TO BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE WHEN I WAS ONLY FOUR? FOUR!! THAT I COULDN'T EVEN HAVE A NORMAL CHILDHOOD BECAUSE I WAS CARING FOR MOM? THAT I HAD TO PUT ON A FAKE MASK FOR EVERYONE ELSE TO SEE?!!!? THAT I-" His voice caught. "That I had to bury mom?"
I saw Hailey cover her mouth with her hands, and I noticed that Ashley was covering her ears, her head on her knees. She had moved over to the couch in the living room, and it seemed like she didn't want to be here. It was very obvious that all of the yelling and screaming was getting her extremely anxious and nervous. I knew that I was definitely really nervous right now, and I wanted to comfort Ashley, so I walked over to her and sat down next to her, hugging her. She returned the hug, and she whispered, "I'm scared…" I noticed that she was shaking, so I tightened the hug and said, "It's okay, I'm right here. I'm here, you don't have to…you don't have to worry, you don't have to be scared."
I looked back up at Radical. He was still standing in the same place, unmoving, while he looked at Dick. Finally, he said, "I knew." His voice didn't contain a trace of anger in it at all, and there seemed to be sympathy in his voice. "I knew when she first started taking the anti-depressants." Dick stiffened. "I knew when she started to take too many. I knew when she started to drink. I knew when you had to start helping to bring in money so that the mortgage could be paid. I knew that as you started to grow up, things were difficult for you. You may not have seen me, but I was there." He looked at him, surprise and anger starting to show on his face again. "I saw when you found out that she had collapsed on the job. I saw you rush her to the hospital. And I was there when she flatlined. And I was there at the funeral." Radical bowed his head, and he said, "I loved your mother. I loved Elaina-"
"DON'T YOU EVER SAY HER NAME!!" Dick screamed, once again very angry. "IF YOU LOVED HER, YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED WITH US!!!"
"Dick, you have to understand that I left you to save you," Radical said, his voice almost pleading. "There are many things that are out there that would stop at nothing to get to you to get to me. So I had to leave. There was no other way."
Dick would have said more, but then Hailey stepped over to him and said, "Please…calm down. I know that you're upset, but this isn't going to solve anything." She put a hand on his arm and said, "I know that you're hurting…but this will only make it worse."
Dick looked at Hailey, then he took in a deep breath, then breathed it out slowly. "We're not done, old man," he said, looking at Radical. "We'll continue this later." He turned and walked away, Hailey following close behind him. It was clear that she also didn't want to spend more time in the room with Radical, either. Also…she knew what he was going through. I just hoped that she could talk to him and hopefully…resolve all of this.
Radical sighed, then he sat down in one of the chairs. It was now just him, me, and Ashley in here, and Ashley was still shaking. She also seemed to be very intimidated by the big man. Out of nowhere, Radical suddenly said, "I'm not that scary, you know."
Both Ashley and I turned to look at Radical, who was looking straight at me, and he said, "You were thinking that I'm scaring Ashley, weren't you, Mr. Ward?"
I nodded, and he said, "I knew it." He looked away from me, and Ashley went back to laying her head on my chest. He didn't elaborate on it, but my mind was racing. Dick had said that he was able to know what people's intentions are, and he said just a few moments ago that it was Radical, his dad (which was still really hard to wrap my mind around) who gave him that ability. Probably not literally given to him, but Dick had probably inherited it from him. "You…you have something to do with how Dick is right now," I said to him, still holding Ashley close to me. "You're able to do something like Dick, if anything something that's even greater than what he can do right now."
"Chris," she said softly, so much so that I barely heard her.
Radical sighed. "You're an intuitive one, aren't you?" He looked at me and said, "I know what you're thinking about right now. I also know what kind of person you are, what your hopes and dreams are, if you're good or evil, what emotions you feel the most, and what things plague your dreams in the dead of night."
I shuddered a little bit, and I turned away from his gaze. I still had that same, chilling feeling when he was looking at me when I first met him. "And can you do that with every person you meet?" I asked him, trying to keep my voice from shaking as much as possible.
I didn't see him, but I knew that he had nodded. "Every time I look someone in the eyes, I see everything about them. And it's both a blessing…and a curse." He pulled out his Winchester and a cloth, and he started to polish his weapon. I couldn't help but feel a little bit uncomfortable, and I knew that she wasn't feeling comfortable either, so I said, "Ashley, how about you go figure out how Dick and Hailey are doing, okay?" I let go of her.
She got off of me, and in her eyes, I saw her saying "Thank you." She went into the other room, turning back at the doorway to look back at me, and I nodded. She looked a little bit uncertain, but she left. I turned my attention back to Radical. This…this is only a little bit awkward, I thought to myself, and I felt myself sweat a little bit. It also didn't help that he was cleaning his gun right in front of me. Still…I couldn't help but be interested in this. Here was Dick's dad (and Hailey's adopted one, which was hard to wrap my mind around), and he was a-
"Yes, I'm a vigilante." I realized that he was looking at me again, and I realized that I had let my eyes wander back up to his face. "And no, I'm not like those heroes on TV. I'm nothing like them." He seemed to say that he wasn't happy about that at all. He seemed to be very dissatisfied with the way things were right now, like he wanted to get out of this life.
"You don't like this, do you?" I asked, and he looked back up at me again. "This life. It's eating at you. You just…you just want it all to be over, and you want to spend some more time with your kids. That's what you want, right?"
He was silent for a bit, then he pulled the lever of his shotgun, and a shell was ejected out of it. He caught it and looked at it, analyzing it in the light of day. Then he tossed me the shell. "Tell me," he said, after I had caught it. "What is it that you're holding?"
I looked at it, and I spun it, taking in everything about it. I couldn't believe that something so small could be the cause of death for people. "Well…it's a shotgun shell. 12 gauge, and it has the capacity to kill a person." Radical didn't look at me. "It's something that could possibly end the life of someone so evil that death is the only thing that can put them down, or it's something that could be used against innocent people, leaving many traumatized people to suffer without that person in the world. It has the capacity to severely injure someone, to the point where they might not be able to do the things that they used to easily. And some…well, some are lucky that they made it out without anything too serious." I laughed a little bit.
Radical was silent for a little bit, then he said, "I've fought many people. People that could do things that other people might scoff at. Knowing you, however, you are different. You're used to things not happening out of the ordinary, and things being completely…supernatural, correct?" I nodded. He smiled. "I see." I got up and tried to give the shotgun shell back, and he said, "No. Keep it. It's a reminder that things aren't always that normal." I looked at the shell, then I put it into my pocket, wondering why he would even give this to me. After resetting the lever and chambering another shell and setting the gun aside, Radical resumed talking: "With this next person…it'll be the last. I'll be done with that life. And maybe…maybe I could have a family again."
Dick suddenly barged into this room, all mad, with Hailey and Ashley behind him, trying to calm him down. "What did you say?" he asked, his eyes burning yet full of tears. "What did you just say?" He grabbed his father and pulled him closer to him so that they were looking at each other. "Tell me it again, please. I want to hear it."
Radical sighed, and he looked Dick straight in the eyes. "You of all people should know that what I'm saying is the truth, Richard," he said, and he didn't have any anger at all in his voice. It was clear that Radical loved Dick a lot, even though he couldn't see it yet. As Dick looked into the eyes of his father, he slowly realized that what he was saying was the truth, and he let go of his father, and he sank to his knees, all of the fight that was in him gone in an instant. "Fuck," he said, and his voice started to shake. "Damn you, old man…damn you…" He began to sob, and Radical, saying nothing, stood up and kneeled down next to his son, placing a hand on his shoulder. Dick didn't say or do anything and let it be, and Radical seemed to be saddened by the fact a little bit as well. Hailey awkwardly kneeled down next to Dick and put a hand on his other shoulder as well, and she immediately took on a a pained expression.
I knew that I wasn't supposed to be here. It was a…family matter. And so, I looked at Ashley, and she immediately got what I was trying to say. We both left them be, and we walked upstairs into my room.
Before we go any further, I should mention the state that my room was in at the time. Since my mom had been admitted to the hospital, I was barely able to keep myself going for that time, so my room was a huge mess. There were stacks of papers on my desk that I hadn't organized, clothes everywhere on the floor, a few soda cans on my desk, and a bunch of trash everywhere.
In other words, it was just a bit short of a pig's sty.
"Sorry that my room is a mess," I apologized, and I started to pick up stuff that was on my floor. "I've been meaning to clean it, but I couldn't get around to it."
"It's okay," Ashley said, and she bent down and started to pick up stuff, too. "I'll help you clean up."
"No, it's okay, I can do it myself," I said, but it was too late. She had already started to help me out. I sighed, and went back to cleaning again. "Thanks," I said eventually, and I heard her giggle a little bit. We kept cleaning, and eventually, my room looked a lot nicer than it had before. As I was organizing the papers on my desk, I came across the letter that the principal had given to me. I remembered that he had said that my mom had wanted me to read it when her illness couldn't be hidden for any longer. I took in a deep breath, then I turned to Ashley. "Ashley?"
She looked up at me, on the floor cleaning up some more trash on the floor. "What is it, Chris?" she asked, sitting on her knees.
"I…" I held the letter closer to my chest. "I…I need you…I" I stopped. I felt like I was choking in my sadness and tears.
Ashley didn't say anything, but she stood up, walked over to me, and wrapped her arms around me, saying softly, "I'm here for you…don't worry."
I didn't know what to do. My body started to shake, and I wanted to cry so badly, to be vulnerable. But…I felt like I had to keep strong for Ashley's sake. We ended up staying like that for a few moments, then she let go. I gestured to my bed, and we both sat down on it. All of this was in complete silence, except for what little sounds we could hear from downstairs. We both sat there, a little bit uncomfortable and unsure of how to break the silence. I eventually turned to her and said, "Ashley. I…I got a letter. From my mom."
She looked at me, her face full of compassion. "Want to read it together?"
I nodded, and I opened the envelope, taking out the letter. I breathed in slowly, and I let it out just as slowly. I unfolded the letter to read what was inside.
My sweet child,
If you're reading this letter, then this means that my heart disease cannot be hidden any longer. I'm sorry that it had to be revealed this way. I wanted to tell you about it, but I just wanted you to enjoy your time in high school. It's something that you'll probably never be able to experience again, and I didn't want to take that away from you by telling you that I may not have too much time left.
Without even realizing it, I had started to cry while reading this letter. "Damn it, mom," I said, my voice breaking. "You should have told me…I could have…I could have spent more time with you."
By now, you must realize that there is no possible way that modern medicine can heal me. And you're probably going to try and seek out a healer. Please, Chris…don't do it. I don't want you to waste your life away just so that you could spend some more time with your mom. I'm so happy that I was able to spend this time with you. That I got to see you grow up. That I got to see you make more friends. That I got to see you fall in love.
At that point, I realized that she was talking about me and Ashley, and I turned to look at Ashley. She was crying…though she was trying to keep herself from crying too hard. I think she remembered when she first met her.
It was a Saturday, maybe two weeks before she collapsed and had to go to the hospital. I had asked Ashley if she wanted to come over and study for a test that was coming up, and she had said yes. So, I had driven her to my house, opened the car door for her, and let her out of the car.
"Thank you for this," she said, and she smiled at me.
I smiled back. "Of course. It's my pleasure." We walked to the front door, and I unlocked it and walked in, saying, "I'm home, mom."
Immediately, her head popped out from the corner, and she said, "Welcome home, sweetie. Oh?" She walked out a little more and said, "Who's this?"
"Her name's Ashley," I said. "She's one of my friends, and she's here to study with me for a test coming up."
"Oh, that's amazing, sweetie," she said, and she walked over, smiling at Ashley. "It's nice to meet you…" I realized that I had forgotten to tell her name to my mom.
"It's Ashley," Ashley said, and she smiled. "It's very nice to meet you, Miss Ward."
"Aw, how sweet of you," my mom said, and she took her by the arm. "If you don't mind us, Chirs, we're going to talk with each other for a few minutes."
"Ah-! But-" Ashley looked at me, and I smiled, and said, "Don't worry. She's nice, I promise." She looked back at my mom, then back to me, and nodded. There was a little bit of uncertainty in her face, but she went with my mom. I went up to my room, got all of the things that we needed so that we could study well, and waited for her to come up.
A few minutes later, she did, and immediately, I noticed there was something different about her. She seemed to be extremely nervous, and her face seemed to be flush. "Uh, hey," I said. "Are…are you alright?"
She nodded, and she seemed to be a little bit flustered, so I decided not to say anything. We studied for a few hours, then she had to go. After she had left, I walked over to my mom and said, "Alright, mom. What did you guys talk about?"
"Don't worry about it," she said, and she smiled. "I didn't tell her any of your embarrassing stories."
I felt my face heat up. "Mom!"
She laughed. "I'm just teasing you," she said. Then she said something that completely caught me off guard. "Are you in love with her?"
Immediately, I said, "No, we're just friends, mom."
She looked at me thoughtfully, then she said, "I see." She sounded like she didn't believe me at all. I didn't get it at all, then, and I had asked her what she had meant. But she had just smiled at me and said, "You'll find out eventually."
I didn't think that I would find out like this.
I kept reading the letter, wiping away my tears as I did so.
I was so happy when you said that you found someone. You do not get to meet many people like her in your life, and she is an amazing person. You just have to reach out to her. And tell her how you feel.
I'm sorry. I probably sound selfish. But…please, Chris. You're my baby, and I love you so much. I don't want you to be worrying about me. Live your life.
-Mom
As I finished reading the letter, tears began to fall from my eyes, and they landed on the letter, wetting the paper. I brought the letter to my chest, sobbing, like the ugly, real sobbing that you might see some actors do in some movies. I felt so stupid, so hopeless, so powerless to do anything to help my mom at all. She was telling me not to worry about her. How could I not worry about her? She's my mother, for God's sake. She raised me, cared for me, nurtured me until I was able to do things on my own, and I…I didn't want her to die knowing that I could have done something to prevent it. It would feel like I had committed a murder…and I didn't want that at all.
I felt a hug from my side, and I knew it was Ashley, even though I couldn't lift my head up. It was comforting to know that she was there, even when I was going through something like that. I wanted to do something, say something to show my appreciation for what she was doing then. But I couldn't. All that I could do was keep crying, the tears rolling down my cheeks, still clutching the letter to my chest.