I closed my door and watched him leave, walking over to the house to the right of mine, presumably to ask the person for help involving trying to find Ashley. I put my back against the door and slid down into a sitting position. I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. I put my head into my hands and pondered the situation I was in right now. I hadn't told Ashley's dad (ugh, it feels weird to say it) that she was actually in my house right now, and that I was caring for her. It felt wrong, but at the same time, it felt right. I just didn't know which one was the right thing to believe.
I stood up and walked to the living room, picking up the first aid kit and putting it back where it belonged. Then I went to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. As I got it, my hands were shaking, and I couldn't help but look at my hands as they did. I had never been so nervous and scared about something before, and I didn't know how I was going to talk to Ashley about this. I downed the cup of water faster than you could say "bottle of water," and I set the glass aside. I walked upstairs to see if Ashley was awake, and I saw her sitting up in the bed, hugging a pillow. She had her face in it, and she seemed to be shaking uncontrollably, and I could hear soft sobs coming from it. "Ashley?" I asked softly. She stiffened, then she looked up at me, her eyes red and puffy. Her face still had the bandages on it, and there was a look of absolute fear on her face. She hugged the pillow even tighter, and she said something that I couldn't hear. "Sorry, could you…could you say that one more time? I couldn't really hear you," I said, walking closer to her.
"Is…is he gone?" Those words…they were filled with so much fear, and there was an expression that I had only seen on her face once before: the night that we had gone to the movies together. Now I understood who was talking to her that night, and my fists clenched. I had to clench and unclench them a few times in order to disperse my anger, and I took a deep breath before responding. "Yeah," I said, my voice calm and soothing. "Yeah, he's gone."
A large weight seemed to have been lifted off of her shoulders, and she started crying again, burying her head into the pillow again. Her body was once again shaking uncontrollably, and I instinctively walked over to her, sat next to her, and put my arm around her shoulders, so that way she could feel a little bit of comfort, a little bit of safety from her home life. I understood now why she had never talked about her home life before: this was why. I wondered what I would do if I met her dad the next time: would I be able to hold my composure? Or would I lose it and start beating him into a bloody pulp? I shook my head. That didn't matter: what did matter was making sure that Ashley got her bruises and wounds treated. That was what mattered. We stayed like that for a few more minutes until Ashley had calmed down. She sniffled, and she rubbed her eye. For a moment, there was silence. Then she started talking.
"I…I hoped that…I hoped that you wouldn't find out about my…my home life…" she said, her voice shaky, hoarse. She was also sniffling a lot, which interrupted the flow of words coming from her. "I'm-I'm sorry…that-that I-I dragged you into-into this…" It seemed like she wanted to cry more, but she took in a deep, shaky breath, and she kept talking. "I…I just wanted-I just wanted to have a normal life. Why?" She looked at me, an expression of immense sadness and despair on her face. "Why is this happening to me?"
I didn't know how to answer. She looked away from me, and she kept talking. "I…I don't want him to keep…keep doing things to me…he…he…" At that point, I realized that she couldn't keep talking and that if she did, then things would probably not go too well, so I hugged her and said, "It's okay, Ashley. You don't have to tell me everything, okay? Don't push yourself too hard."
She hugged me back, and she cried even more, sobbing harder and harder with every second that passed. She seemed to be severely traumatized, and talking about it seemed to make the memories of what happened to her even worse. At least, that's what I got from what was going on right now. Whatever the case was, there was a small fire in my heart. It was growing by the minute, and at one point, I realized what it was: it was hatred.
Hatred for Brandon Hendricksen, Ashley's father. For hurting the one that I loved.
After Ashley had calmed down (and by calm down, I mean fall asleep), I went downstairs to the kitchen and called Dick. Normally, he picks up after a few rings, but for some reason, he didn't pick up at all, and it went to voicemail. "Come on, man," I said, and I called him back again. "Pick up, pick up." This happened about three more times, and finally, on the fifth call, he picked up. "Chris, I'm a little bit busy right now," he said, and in the background of his voice, I heard Hailey say something.
"Dick, where are you right now?" I asked, and I couldn't help but wonder if Hailey and he were dating. And so soon after his…other breakup. Speaking of which, I always wondered what happened to Abigail. I'd seen her around at school, but she had never talked to me or to Dick after that. I shook the thought from my head. Focus on that later.
"Oh, I'm actually out right now," he said. "I'm getting groceries with Hailey." I heard Hailey say something indistinguishable, and then he said, "She says hi."
"Well, tell her I said hi back. Hey, listen. When you're done, can you come over to my house? Actually, bring Hailey with you, too. I need to talk to both of you about something."
"Uh…sure. What's going on?"
"It's…it's complicated. I'll tell you when you get here." I knew that it would be a better idea to tell them about this in person rather than try to explain it over the phone. I was pretty sure that we would have had to talk about this in person anyway even if I had tried.
"Alright," he said, and he sounded a little bit skeptical. "We'll be there. See ya."
"Bye," I said. "Wait, don't eat anything, okay? I'll make some food for you guys."
"Aw, sweet man! I always love your food!" Dick said, and he sounded really excited. "Well, I've got to go. Hailey's wondering what I'm doing." He hung up, and I leaned my head against a cabinet, and I figured that I should cook something for Ashley to eat, too. At the very least, she could have some food in her stomach so that way she could have more strength. So I cracked my fingers and began gathering ingredients to cook something for everyone.
It took a minute, but eventually, I had everything that I needed, and I got ready to cook up something that they all would love. I started by opening up a package of ground beef, and I had to look at the recipe book, which told me that I would need to mix in some spices in order to ensure that it tasted amazing. So I went over to the pantry, got the spices, and mixed them into the ground beef. (Before you ask, yes, I was wearing gloves.) I then separated some of it and started molding it into patties, taking great care to make sure that they were as firm as possible. I then separated a bit more of the ground beef and started rolling them into small balls (you probably see where I'm going with this), setting those aside as well. I walked over to the stove, turned it on, and put a pan over the flames. I let it heat up, poured some oil onto it, then poured the rest of the ground beef that I hadn't used onto it. The meat made a satisfying grilling sound as it hit the pan, and I spread it all out evenly across the pan and went back over to the other meat. I made sure to preheat the oven beforehand, and I got out a tray. I put all of the small meatballs onto it, making sure that there was a non-stick paper on it, and put it into the oven, simultaneously setting a timer for about fourteen minutes. I walked back over to the stove and turned down the heat, making sure that the meat on it cooked slowly.
I took the gloves off of my hands and wiped my forehead. Cooking always made me get a little bit sweaty, but I always found it satisfying. It meant that my hard work would not be going to waste.
(I'm actually going to skip the rest of this because I'm pretty sure that it's a little boring to read.)
When the doorbell rang, I had created a feast, basically. You could eat burgers, spaghetti with meatballs, or tacos, and you could make your own food. There were also some salads as well, just in case somebody didn't want any meat-based foods. I went to answer the door, and there were Dick and Hailey. I smiled. "You're just in time," I said, and I let them come on it. "Lunch is served."
"Woo-hoo!" Dick said, pumping his arm, and I immediately shushed him, and I pulled them inside, shutting the door behind me. "Woah, hey buddy," he said, and he got his arm out of my grip. "What's going on?"
"Well…like I said: it's complicated," I said, and I immediately started explaining the situation to them, and when I was finished, the two of them looked at me a little bit worriedly. "What have you gotten yourself into, Chris?" Dick asked me.
"Believe me, I know what I've done. But I don't know what to do." I wanted to throw something. I felt hopeless. I felt angry. I knew that eventually, I had to give Ashley back to Mr. Hendrickson, and I wasn't happy about that. I wasn't happy with my decision, but I didn't regret it either. It was weird to feel this way.
"Well…you know that she has to go back, right?" Hailey asked me, concerned. "Because if he finds out then-"
"I could have charges pressed against me," I said, finishing the thought. "I know." I knew very well what could happen to me if I kept Ashley hidden from her father like that. The very thought of it brought shivers down my spine. "But I can't just do nothing. I have to find a way to get her out of that house, away from him!"
"How do you plan to do that?" Dick asked. I noticed very quickly that he seemed like he wasn't planning on stopping me from it, but it was also unclear what he was thinking about me doing this. "You have a plan, right?"
"Well…a very loose one." I sighed. "But can we eat first? It would be a waste for all of it to get cold without you guys eating some of it."
While Dick and Hailey were enjoying their food, I couldn't enjoy it at all. So I said, "I'm going to go check up on Ashley." I stood up, gathered some food to bring to her on a tray, and walked up the stairs, making sure to not spill any of the food at all. I entered the room, and Ashley was awake. She was sitting on the bed, with her legs to her chest and her arms wrapped around them.
I set the tray down on the bedside table, closed the door behind me, and sat down on the side of the bed. "Are you feeling better?" I asked quietly.
She nodded. "How much of the conversation did you hear?" She didn't say anything. I sighed. "Ashley…I…I don't know what to do. Everything…everything is set up for me to fail. And…and I feel so hopeless." I looked at her. "How are you strong, even though you go through abuse every day?"
She was silent for a little bit, then she said softly, "Because I believe that God is going to help me."
That caught me completely off guard. "God?" I asked, completely surprised. Ashley did not strike me as a Christian at all. "You're a Christian?"
She nodded, and she seemed to be a bit ashamed, although I didn't exactly get why. "I…I didn't want to get…bullied any further…" she said quietly, and she seemed to curl into an even tighter ball. I understood: she was going to a private school, and even though it wasn't as bad as public school, religion wasn't exactly welcome here. So it made sense that she hid it from me and everyone else around her. She looked at me, and I saw that there were tears and fear in her eyes. "Are you…are you going to leave me?"
It suddenly occurred to me that in the past, she had probably told other people she was a Christian too, and they ended up abandoning her. But I wasn't like other people. I wasn't going to leave her alone. I would never leave her alone. "No," I said, and I sat closer to her. "If anything, I think that you're even more amazing than you are now."
She looked at me, then she wiped her tears and turned away from me. I noticed that the tips of her ears seemed to be bright red, but I didn't say anything. I turned away from her and said, "Actually…I've been lacking some sort of…I don't know, strength? Some sort of belief that what I'm doing is right." I heard Ashley shift on the bed. I kept talking. "And now that I know you're a Christian…well, some part of me wants to also be one as well. Like, the fact that you know that everything will be okay in the end is not something that I have right now. Especially the situation with my mom. I can't help but think that a God who is supposed to love me and her would do this kind of thing to her." The words were pouring out of my mouth. I was finally able to get some of this off of my chest. "That's one thing that kind of turns me off to Christianity, you know? Like, why would a God want to even put humankind through these sorts of things, you know? And there's these things about, like, how God ordered the genocides of millions of people, even though they really didn't do anything wrong. Like, come on: a God that is loving would do this to people? And I'm not even sure that he exists at all. What if everything in the Bible is a lie? What if it's all just not real?"
Ashley was silent for a minute, then I said, "Forget about it. Forget that I said anything. Sorry." I had just hurled all of my insecurities at Ashley about all of this. It wasn't fair to her. I was about to get up when I felt a pair of arms reach around me and hug me from behind. I looked behind me, and there was Ashley, hugging me. "What's this?" I asked, and I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit.
She said something to me, and I couldn't really hear her, so I got out of her hug and turned around to face her. "I'm sorry, I couldn't really hear you. What did you say?" I asked.
"I understand," she said, her voice even quieter than before. "But…I think…it could really help you get through things. It's really confusing at first, but I promise that you'll get to understand things a lot better when you've learned a bit more about it…" She seemed to be convincing me that I should become one. I couldn't understand where she was getting this courage to tell me about this, because I don't think that I would have had any courage to tell anyone about this. And so I decided.
"Sure," I said. Ashley looked up at me, a little bit of confusion in her eyes. "How do I get started?"
She looked at, still a little bit confused, then it suddenly dawned on her that I was saying that I wanted to be a Christian. She said, "Oh!' And I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit. Her face reddened a little bit, then she said, "Well…you have to say…this small prayer, first…" She looked at me, then she said, "You have to believe with all of your heart that what you're saying is true."
I nodded, then I said, "I'm ready."