My little stealth adventure is going great so far. The spy I just met leads us into town and we are both wearing black cloaks and masks in order to hide our identities. This is pretty much standard thief or assassin attire, but no one in town is questioning our fashion choices so there's that.
If people in my world saw two individuals walking around with hoods up and wearing masks they'd be reported to the police instantly. We stop by the beach and there is a small fishing boat lying inside a small wooden shack.
"So where exactly are we going to meet your spy buddies? Oh and exactly how many of them are there?" I ask as we drag a small fishing boat into the water.
"One of my allies has a hideout on a small island just off the coast of Sonia. We are going to meet him and see if he knows where my other ally is. Also, just so you know his name is Manchester and he has this really strange obsession. You'll know what I mean when you meet him, but try to keep your pants on," Scylla warns.
"My pants? Is this guy so sexy that he'll make me want to rip my pants off just by being in his presence?"
"He is hot, but it has more to do with his magic ability. It's really hard to explain so I won't."
We both get into the boat, but it has no paddles so I have no idea how we are going to make the boat move.
"Umm, the boat has no paddles. Are we just going to paddle with our hands?" I inquire.
"Oh no I got this. Just hold on to your seat and try to not fall off," she instructs as she puts her hand right behind the boat and unleashes an explosion of wind that pushes the boat at supersonic speeds.
"HOLY SHIT!" I swear as I try to hand on to the boat for dear life.
Well this is one way to make the boat move, but I swear to Vienna that I will never complain about transportation being too slow ever again. That sonic boom that Scylla caused must have alerted the entire town by now. So much for being stealthy.
'I'm not sure if this is the right time, but be cautious of that girl you're with. She is much more powerful than she looks.'
"Yeah I can tell! A little late on the notice Mythril," I complain.
'What I meant was that I am unable to analyze her abilities. She has some way of blocking my power to view her stats.'
Name:
Scylla
Class:
████████
Race:
███████
Defense Level:
██████
Aura and Magic:
█████████████
"Huh, your right, that's weird. Is that normal?"
'Typically not. Those who block this power are either magicians or extremely powerful that they're power cannot be comprehended. Based on current data I believe this person may be both a magician and extremely powerful.'
"I'll just confirm that for myself then."
"Hey Scylla, what's your warclass by the way? You don't seem to be carrying any weapons and you seem very strong with magic, so I'm guessing you're a magician," I say as a fish hits my helmet at supersonic speeds.
"Ding, ding, ding. That's correct. I can use pretty much all of the basic elements. Fire, water, air, earth, lightning, light and darkness," she informs me.
"Yep, definitely not messing with this girl," I mutter.
I wonder if people can have that many affinities.
'People don't normally have more than two or three affinities for elements, however people can use an element they don't have an affinity for, just to a much lesser effect.'
"Do you have an affinity for all of those affinities?" I ask.
"I said I could use them, not that I had an affinity for them. And it's mostly through the use of my ability."
"Which is?"
"Not telling, that's a secret. It isn't smart to go around telling everyone your secrets," she lectures.
"But you just told me you were a spy no less than 2 hours ago," I refute.
"Cause I wanted you guys to know. I was being very apparent with how I acted to get your guys' attention. If a hooded person starts following you out of the blue, wouldn't you find that very suspicious? I chose to interact with you all, since you stuck out so much. Also the giant airship in the distance is a big giveaway that you're not normal," Scylla says bluntly.
"Geh, I mean you're not wrong, but it hurts to hear it said outright," I sigh.
My party is anything but stealthy. With the exception of Nazuko of course.
"Why do I get the feeling that you don't even need my help to complete this mission?"
"Oh? What gives that away?" she answers.
"Just an instinctual feeling."
"Hmm, I guess I could take on 5 dungeon boss level monsters if I was really forced to, but it would be messy. Like the destruction of this little town messy. To be honest I kind of agree with your bombastic red head back there. It would be easier to bomb the town hall and be on our way, but I didn't say anything since the rest of your party seemed like good samaritans. Anyways don't feel down, I see this as an opportunity to work with the first hero," she declares.
"First- But I never told you anything about being the hero," I stammer.
"Didn't have to, I could tell from the ring on your finger. Still think I'm the worst spy ever?"
"Those weren't my words. Can I assume that your other allies are equally as capable?" I prod.
"In a way, one of them is my super capable best friend. She's probably found all the info we need already and the other, well you're about to meet him right now."
After a few minutes of going at supersonic speeds we arrive at a tiny island off the coast where there's a small shack that has pants nailed to the front door. Scylla walks up to the front door and starts knocking.
"Manchester open up. It's me, Scylla. I've gained allies from the North who will help us escape," she announces.
The door opens up and we are greeted by a guy that is wearing multiple pairs of pants. It looks like he's wearing a pair of pants over another pair of pants. He has no shirt on and I can see that he's buff. Not buff like Ryder, but semi buff. To top it off he's wearing a final pair of pants on his head that have one pant leg longer than the other.
"Ah my friend I've been expecting you or rather heard you. You do know that making sonic booms to power a boat is quite loud. Anyways, what's important is that your pants game is on point today. Damn straight," Manchester praises as he stares at her pants.
"Umm so this guy is your other spy ally? I really don't see how he would be able to blend into society with pants on his head," I grumble.
"He has his familiars do all of the spying for him while he hides out on this island," Scylla informs.
"Your pants on the other hand are on an even greater level. This is dragon skin texturing that is almost skin tight and emphasizes your leg muscles. This is obviously the work of a legendary smith," Manchester notes as he stares at my pants.
"Enough of admiring his pants, where is Elisa? We need to find her and defeat the stupid Sonia idiots and their monsters," Scylla interrupts right before he closes in to stroke my pant legs.
I think I understand what Scylla meant when she said to hang on to my pants. If I spend anymore time with this guy I feel like he'll steal the lower half of my armor right off of me.
"Elisa is… well she got captured by those rangers and she's being kept in the basement of city hall. I suggest we go on a rescue mission at once. If we don't hurry they might destroy her wonderful pants," he claims.
"I don't think her leggings are very high on their list of priorities, but okay," I sigh.
We proceed to leave the island and get back on the small fishing boat. Scylla fires off her wind to propel the boat, but at a much slower pace as both me and Manchester pressure her into not sending us at full speed. We are going at a steady pace and have almost reached shore when it seems we are starting to slow down.
"Hey why are we slowing down?" I ask.
"It's not me, it feels like the water is fighting me for some reason," Scylla responds.
Suddenly a whale comes out of the water with what looks to be Sonia Green riding on top.
"Oh great not this guy again," I groan.
"It is I evil doers- wait YOOOOOUUUU! The fiend who interrupted my glorious pose. It is time to deliver divine punishment," Sonia Green says angrily.
"Hey you, your outfit looks particularly stylish. I have to say that those green silk pants really make up the bulk of your attire," Manchester compliments.
"What! Well I'm- i'm glad you like it. Yes, a Sonia Ranger must be a leading figure in style. Perhaps you aren't such an evil doer after all," Sonia Green ponders.
"Yes, these pants are amazing. I think I'll add these to my collection," he says as he holds up Sonia Green's pants.
How the heck did he just steal that guy's pants? I didn't even see a thing, although I did sense some magic get casted. We all pause for a good minute until Sonia Green notices he's not wearing any pants. At least he's wearing green underpants so he's not completely naked down there. I'd take a picture right now if I had a camera.
"Wait, how the heck did you get my pants? Give them back at once. Whaleking attack!" Sonia Green commands as the whale jumps out of the water and flops down right next to us.
The impact of the massive whale hitting the water nearly causes the boat to flip over, but luckily the three of us manage to stay upright although Manchester drops Sonia Green's pants into the water.
"No, not my pants! Curse you evildoers, do you know how expensive getting custom tailored clothes are now these days?" he swears.
"Yes, surrender immediately. A man who has no pants has no power," Manchester demands.
"Is there something in the water in this area? I've wandered into crazy town," I grumble.
"I don't think he'll surrender because he's not wearing pants. The only way to take down idiots is with sheer force," Scylla says as lightning starts to spark from her hands.
"Wait, wait not while we are on the water. At least wait until we get to the beach or think of some other way to attack. Otherwise you'll electrocute everyone," I warn.
"Well I have another idea. You look like a person who has an affinity for wind right?"
"How do you even know that?"
"Just a lucky guess, do you know the incantation for creating a tornado?"
"Yeah why?"
"If we both cast the same spell at the same time then the effect will be magnified. I think the force of the tornado is enough to send the whale onto land," she claims.
"Wait, but we will be sending an extremely powerful tornado right at the town," I argue.
"It's fine, pretty much all of the townspeople are peasant sympathizers and they've killed at least a dozen knights so I think it's time for a little payback," Scylla brutally states.
"You know what, fine. I don't care anymore about what happens to this town after seeing these Sonia idiots."
We both start to focus and begin our incantation.
"Raging Winds I summon thee,"
"Breathe upon this land as thy see fit,"
"Seek no Retribution for chaos,"
"And Give Birth To Destruction"
"TORNADO"
I can feel an enormous amount of energy being drawn to the both of us as an enormous tornado starts to form. If the tornado I summoned against Ryder could be considered an F3 tornado then this one is definitely F5.
"EH!? What's going on," Sonia Green shouts as the whale he's on starts to get lifted into the sky.
Our boat also starts to get lifted into the sky, but the winds are so violent we end up falling off and are subjected to the power of the tornado. As we approach the town I can see all the townspeople start to run for their lives. Unfortunately for them, they start to get sucked up by the tornado too.
"Ugh peasant pants. Such things shouldn't be worn in my presence," Manchester claims as he snaps his fingers and everyone's pants disappear off their bodies. The resulting clothing is now flying around the tornado along with all the debris from the now destroyed town. I can even see the tavern that we were just at intact, but flying in the air.
"What the hell is his power anyway?" I ask Scylla.
"He has near omnipotent power and control over pants. Yes I know it's ridiculous, but don't question it," she answers.
A few moments later I see the rest of the Sonia Rangers get sucked up into the tornado along with their monsters. The red one is riding atop what looks like a dinosaur. The blue one is atop one that looks like a centaur. The yellow one is riding what looks to be an orc. Wait that one isn't even a monster and if they claim it to be then that's racist. I think? The final one has this huge serpent clinging to them that reminds me of that serpent from the 2nd harry potter movie.
"Ah Sonia Green I see you've encountered the evildoers we shall do our best to help. Rangers get ready to pose," Sonia Red commands.
"Wait, the yellow idiot is just on top of a large orc. That's not even a monster you racists," I yell.
"The knights we vanquished last time defeated his monster so we're umm... hiring Mr. Orknack from the apothecary shop to look threatening until the Man of Stone sends a replacement," Sonia Yellow says nervously.
"Hello," the orc says.
"Hi you should just leave sir, unless you yourself are a peasant sympathizer," Scylla suggests.
"Yes, but I'm being paid too much to deal with this bullsh*t so please don't kill me," he pleads.
"Don't worry sir, us knights only harm those who strike first," Manchester announces.
Unless stealing people's pants counts as harm then he's right.
They all start to pose again, but before the green one poses I shoot a few wind bullets at him interrupting his pose.
"F*ck you! Why do you hate me so much!" he swears.
"Meh," I say as I shrug my shoulders.
I also shoot a wind bullet at the black one before she poses but it actually hits so she gets knocked out of the tornado.
"Not again! Curse yooooooou evil dooooooer," she says as she falls out of the tornado.
"Heh," I chuckle as I watch her fall to the floor and hit her head.
I wonder if she's dead. Nah idiots somehow have the ability to survive the apocalypse at times so I'll assume she's alive. Honestly if being evil is this fun I might consider changing sides.
"Watch out my allies, that fiend over there with the pants on his head has the ability to make your legwear disappear," Sonia Green warns.
"It's too late for I have already stolen their colorful pants!" Manchester announces as he holds up a red, blue, and yellow pair of pants.
"You fiend, give those back at once," a now less clothed Sonia Red demands.
"Never!" he shouts as he puts on their pants so now he's wearing 6 pairs of pants.
Manchester and the three Sonia rangers proceed to get into a fist fight in midair as they try to get back their pants. As I'm watching this ridiculous exchange I notice the huge whale that the green guy was on fell out of the tornado and hit the city hall building.
I really hope the last spy didn't get crushed by the massive behemoth, but Manchester did say she was being kept in the basement so she's probably fine. About 10 seconds later a small girl flies right at me and tackles me so I end up spinning in midair.
"OW! Nazuko?! What are you doing here?" I ask dizzily.
"We saw the huge tornado and a giant whale fly into the sky so we knew it was probably you. Everyone else is on the ground near the airship because Ryder said he was going to launch his most powerful attack at the tornado so I came to rescue you and the spies. Also why are there pants flying around everywhere?" Nazuko questions.
"Umm, it's a long story. The short version is that knight over there with the pants on his head has the power to control all pants and he's stripping everyone of their leggings right off of them to add to his collection," I answer.
"Wow, that's… that's the stupidest thing I've heard all day," Nazuko states.
"Yeah I know, on the bright side it seems to really piss those guys off though I'm wondering how you can use a pair of pants as a weapon. Anyways since Ryder is launching his nuke at us that means we probably have to leave the area as soon as possible," I tell her as I open a portal to escape the tornado.
The only problem is getting into the damn portal as the erratic wind speed makes it hard for us to tell where we are going. I decided to use one of the techniques I learned during my two months of training and turn that portal into a black hole portal. It will pull anything and everyone into it within a certain radius.
I grab Scylla's arm and grab Manchester by the pants on his head so the four of us get sucked into the portal. Luckily I close it before it sucks in any of the Sonia Rangers and their monsters. The four of us end up getting sent out of the portal nearby the airship and ragdoll on the ground for a few seconds.
"Welcome back, did you find the spies?" Azura greets while wiping all the dirt off my face.
"One of them at least, the other one is kept prisoner in the basement of the city hall building," I answer.
"Does that mean I'm free to unleash a nuke on that tornado? I'll be able to hit them all in one fell swoop," Ryder exclaims.
"Feel free," I tell him.
"Alright," Ryder says as he starts his incantation.
Once Ryder finishes a large house sized bomb materializes in the tornado, we see an enormous explosion go off, followed by a large mushroom cloud.
"I thought you said you didn't want to destroy the town or cause a massacre," Lilith reminds me.
"Well that was the initial plan, but since the spies are fully incapable of making rational stealthy decisions, I gave up. Anyways Ryder is right, this way is easier. We accomplish our objective at the cost of destroying an entire fishing village."
"Yes, but this was a fishing village of peasant sympathizers so that makes their destruction okay," Scylla adds.
"I'm not really sure that's the case, but since Will's okay with it, I'll accept it," Lilith sighs.
A moment later Ryder falls over due to exhaustion and we carry him into the airship. As I walk out I can see the Sonia Rangers fall out of the sky and land in a field next to the airship.
They look all singed from the explosion, mostly around their legs since they didn't have any protection there. Damn, these guys must be insanely lucky to have survived an explosion like that. Everyone is pretty much knocked out cold except the red guy. Sonia Red gets up and stumbles in our direction.
"W-w-w-we a-are not… done … yet. When we regain our stamina and our pants, we will defeat you," he threatens, although it's not threatening at all when they are so beat up.
Suddenly their monsters fall out of the sky and land behind them. They seem to be roasted way more than the Sonia rangers were so that must be what Ryder had aimed at. Clearly Ryder knows who the threats are.
Most of the monsters aren't getting up so I'm going to assume that Ryder 's bomb did some major damage. The only one that manages to move is the red guy's dinosaur and it starts to roar so loud it could break glass.
"Yes, he's still alive! Now is the time to start quaking in your boots evildoers," Sonia Red threatens.
"Wait what if we are not wearing boots?" Manchester questions as he shows his bare feet.
"Well umm... I don't know, put some footwear on first and then start quaking. Either way just die already so I can take back my pants," he says menacingly.
"Fine if you want them back so badly you can have them," Manchester says as he tosses the red guy his pants back.
The next thing I know I see red pants fly into Sonia Red's face and wrap themselves around his head. It seems Manchester is controlling them as the pants wrap tighter around Sonia Red's head and begin to suffocate him.
About one minute later he passes out due to lack of oxygen heading to his brain. That is not how I'd like to die: death by pants. I bet Quincy would like to die by books if given the chance. If he keeps up reading the forbidden books he just might. I think if I were to die by suffocation I'd like to die by getting suffocated in Azura's or Lilith's breasts.
'I'm not sure if I should be telling you this, but I believe Azura's breasts are slightly bigger than Lilith's.'
"Really! I'll have to jot that down later," I mentally note.
"Is he dead? I hope he's dead," I say looking at the unconscious body in front of us.
"He's not dead, just down for the count. I couldn't bring myself to kill a person who wears such flamboyant pants," Manchester responds.
"If you guys are done having a morbid conversation, then please turn your attention to the threatening monster right in front of us," Remi pleads.
Oh right, I forgot about that. It seems it's time to cause the extinction of the dinosaurs again.