Alone in the car driving back home after he just dropped off Leah, the only noise you here is of wipers slushing and raindrops pattering against the windshield. Thoughts so mute, the only thing on Troy's mind is governing the car's motion along the road. The only body sound he makes intentionally is his breathing but even with a nearer ear, you would not pick up the slightest sounds of his breaths. His controlled breaths are silent like that of a sound made by a water snake swimming across the river. His heartbeat pumps at an extraordinarily moderate pace, his timing in between blinks of his woke eyes nearly identical, his body temperature medium, and his energy on point Troy starved his distractions and lavishly fed his focus.
With this amount of focus, he could not perform a single fault with his driving.
Instead of thinking about things he will do when he arrives home, he chose to concentrate on things he is with momentarily; the road, rain, traffic, rainwater running down the road, the grip on the stirring wheel, and his body posture along with its movements. Swamped entirely on the present, Troy can not help but rejoice in the beauty of life.
Understanding that thoughts shape his life he understood that his life becomes what he thinks. Hence he filled his mind with pure thoughts (reality: tangible, present life), and joy automatically follows and so does the smile.
There is always a real possibility that a car might come ahead and collide with his, causing a brutal accident that cements a scar or probable disability to his life. Only being attached to that scar or disability will bring suffering upon his life and his smile will be wiped off his face. But for that to happen he will be dwelling on the past and Troy is the guy that only lives in the present. Instead of reminiscing about the incidents of the accident, he'd see and feel the beauty of the love his family and friends are giving him in times of his recovery hence his face will still wear the smile with ultimate confidence.
With this mindset, Troy drove merrily all
the way home.
After yet another rough battle with waking, Leah grumpily walks around her room for the entire ten minutes searching for the right shoe for her pair of flip-flops. She angrily turns the whole room upside down growling and sighing at every dead end she comes upon.
Eventually, she quits after swearing and uttering profanity about the fates, furious about this mystery of a popular disappearance. It would have been easier to find it if her room did not look like a mess in the first place. Even so, only if she began by relaxing and then taking seriously the terrific art of turning chaos into order maybe things would turn out differently for the good.
Suddenly she transports her lifeless body to the shower in bare feet.
Cooling her hot running bloodstream with showering water, her current mad-dog state of mind shifts positively as she begins to think of Troy. A smile obeyed by a blush decorates her facial expressions and she looks down to the ground in shyness as if Troy was there with her seeing all the blossom of her thoughts about him bring eros into her heart. Today is the day he calls, and Leah is over the moon about it. She is thinking of how their next meeting is going to turn out. Cheerful as she is, she does not let Troy off her mind for a second until she has rounded out showering and dressed in a day's apparel.
Eyes steadily glued to the phone, she makes her way to the kitchen. During a stroll to the kitchen, she makes not a lot more than zero glimpses at the route she walks. Her attention is fully seized by a smartphone before her eyes but still, she makes her way safely to the kitchen without running into the wall or bumping into a corner. At this point in her life, she can walk around the whole house in a blindfold.
For the next few hours, her fingers toy around with her phone, and a strong internet connection came with it fluffy browsing. From the table absent-mindedly eating breakfast, she scrolls her finger across the screen, abutted with social media she pauses at every posh post with a feeling of envy sometimes a little jealousy takes hold over some posts. She can not help but correspond her life to theirs and wish their shoes had a place for her feet; thus bringing a bit of sorrow with every glance at these lavish posts. Being convinced other people's lives are better than hers is absolute rubbish she is not ready to see, only if poor Leah knew that happiness does not depend on what she has or who she is but solely relies on what she thinks and maybe she would think positively of her being.
After downing some breakfast she moves on to the living room and tries to watch television but ends up nabbing her smartphone which sat beside her on the comfort of a couch. It only sat for less than a minute. He who knows enough is enough will always have enough, but who knows? Maybe Leah believes less than a minute was enough for a breather and so she resumes. Putting her mind to work she commences the never-ending hobby.
Engaging in breaking celebrity news: rumors to the exact, with no gown and gable, she freely judges cases that she has less or no knowledge of. In other cases, she made fun of some people as the mob did. Envious to go with the mob movement (or shall I say the trend), she uploads some thoroughly assessed content across her social media accounts and afterward waits fruitfully desiring for her content to obtain sizable love from other users. In another section under her job description under this platform, she posts about the things she likes to do, what she ate during the day, if she has a headache or perhaps if she is feeling sad, happy, or pretty, sometimes she updates others users on these platforms of her new hairstyle or clothing. Truly it takes a Bible-size book of pages to outline everything she does under this peculiar hobby, and this Bible-size book is fit enough to wear a print that says 'Leah's Addiction is Pride' for a title.
At the end of it all, a mass reaction from other people loving her content is the golden goal.
Taking a look at Leah's habit from an eagle's view may give one the idea that bizarre is one way to describe her hobby. A wise man of a golden generation would call it a crying shame.
After eradicating her phone battery power to a low, she accepts an involuntary defeat and puts it on a charger. Now stepping into the real world, she realizes her mother is seated on the couch, Ms. Naledi had been at arm's length all along yet was obscured from Leah's sight all this time. Calm and relaxed in her outer impression and unhappy on the inner surface, she is holding a newspaper with a very slight engagement on it. All Leah can do is ask herself when did her mother walk into the living room or how long has she been seating there.
Not even a short greet was exchanged between the two yet they live under the same roof. For the first time in a long time, she sees and feels the absence of socialism between her and her mother.
In just a few seconds detached from her phone, Leah jumps from the seat like a springbok at the juncture of danger from an approaching predator when she hears her phone ring. Hearing Troy's voice her heart gets filled with excess passionate joy and her smile automatically stretches to her ears, tons of blushes fills the air sending waves of romantic sentiments in Ms. Naledi's direction. Intentionally not, Ms. Naledi eavesdrops on the phone call conversation out of curiosity and excitement for her dearest gloomy daughter.
"Boyfriend?" Ms. Naledi gets at her right after she takes a seat. Silently she prays not to be shown the backdoor.
"Not sure if," Leah replies with a wary smile uncontrollably coming up her face. "But the truth is I think I like him, mama."
"Oh. You have to be a sure sweetheart." Ms. Naledi folds the newspaper then puts it aside as she pushes her back to sit tall and proud. She senses the slightest invite from her daughter. She highly appreciates such invites no matter how small they are since they come once in a blue moon.
"Sure of what?" Blushes still wander around her face.
"I can tell he gives you a restless mind. You must think he is the one?"
"Stop looking at me like that." Leah giggles as she drops her face to the ground.
"Listen sweetheart. You have to be sure that you like him. Like him unquestionably." With a tone so serene and joyous Ms. Naledi says. Leah replies with a nod trying too hard to lay low her blushes. "Sweetheart love is filled with abundant glamour. Is the most beautiful thing you'll know and get to enjoy." She says in a calm voice adding a smile on it to reflect her daughter's. She commences. "The more beauty it brings the riskier abundant hurt it can convey unto you. So please darling, be extra careful with every inch of feeling you invest in love and always learn to control your emotions." Unfortunately, she speaks from experience, and holding a degree in major heartbreak, she reminisces about the misery she went through during those dark times. A small cringe unfolds from the corner of her facial expression which then expands when she imagines a rose of a daughter of hers walking down that lane.
"I hear you, mama." Replying, Leah erases a smile from her face in respect of her mother's expression of greater concern and incredible advice.
"Tell me. Is he handsome?" Afraid of tiring out the common ground condition, Ms. Naledi loosens the screws as she brings a big smile back to her face.
"Yeah. He is quite impassive too." An appealing smile spreads across her face.
"Oh, fancy that."
"We are meeting in an hour. I am excited mama." Leah says cheerfully.
"Are you ready?" In a gaiety voice. She inquires.
"I'm not sure." Her smile grows wider by a second. "I should go and prepare myself."
"Don't get your hopes way too high sweetheart." Ms. Naledi yells at Leah who hurries away to her bedroom.
Alone again now, Ms. Naledi picks and lifts the newspaper to her eyes then puts it back down on her lap. Her thoughts are not in the room but circulating in disbelief. Just moments ago she was down in the dumps and just now she was chatting and laughing with her daughter who opened up about her relationship with a boy. For a long time, she was never able to reach first base with her daughter and was afraid she may never will. All this time she measured her chances not understanding that possibilities are plentiful as they may seem. Today she experienced a tremendous outcome. Even if Leah took this as another random chitchat, Ms. Naledi highlighted this as a five-star conversation furthermore her finest-ever moment yet. A tiny smile automatically comes up her face. This is no ordinary smile. This is a smile she has no memory of ever wearing before. This is a smile that came with a special delight for a fresh chapter. This smile gave her a silent but open mind, making the whole universe surrender to her feet. This special smile caused a special tear to drop down her cheek. The smile might have been tiny in size but it brought great satisfaction to her heart. Strangely, she feels as if she touched a hidden miracle of being alive.
********
Leah swings Troy's umbrella side by side walking down the streets feeling refreshed under a partly cloudy summer's morning. The lower end of her dress flutters at the blow of dull wind. She is a trouser type but this time around she chose to put on a flower-flickered dress not to honor a summer fashion but to impress an austere-styled man. That is the reason why she decided not to wear lipstick, not that she is big on it. Looking to get his umbrella back, Troy had insisted they meet in the park and so the park is where she is headed at the moment. Emotions jumping up and way up in broad excitement, her heart is set on a nice meeting with Romeo. Although she holds less knowledge of the outcomes that will flare, she strongly believes that something exciting is going to occur no matter the weather. Sandals on her feet stomp the pavement as she headed forth.
Finally, she arrives.
Entering the park she gets edgy, even though she is excited, she is also nervous. Walking off from home she felt the park was a little far stretched out now that she arrived she now thinks the walk was shorter than it should have been.
Ever since she rose from the bed, vivid pictures of last night's car accident had been squeezing in between her thoughts all morning, especially of Troy's reaction. Now walking down the park is all she is thinking of. Quietly she makes a vow to cough it out to him to get an understanding of such unusual behavior. Buried in her thoughts she does not notice a group of four boys overcrowded on a bench she is passing by until one of them sends an affectionate whistle her way. Turning their direction, she only gives a shallow smile for a reply and keeps walking ahead with her intent to converse below scarce. The boys gang up jotting phrases of unpleasant flirts. Annoyed by it, she ignores them.
Ahead a figure of Troy is seated on the next bench in line, her heart pounds tremendously at his appearance. He is seated alone and has nothing in his possession to keep him busy, so he gazes at the park's surroundings. Beside him is a bottle of water, he twists and grabs the bottle. A shift of his head makes his eyes meet Leah's gaze. Taking a few deep breaths she approaches with a smile on her face. Troy stands to his feet at her arrival in respect of dignity.
"I hope I did not keep you waiting." Leah says with a firm smile.
"No, you didn't. I came here early so I can enjoy the view and the breeze, trust me seating in the park is one of the best things ever."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes. I come here most of the time, to relax." Speaking faintly, Troy looks as lenient as a spoiled king.
"Ah. Here is your umbrella and thanks again." Handing over the umbrella Leah hollers energetically.
"I am happy that I can help." A half smile widens in his reply. "Care to join me?"
"Yes, thank you." Leah chuckles excitingly as they both lower down to take a seat.
Troy leans back and supports the back of his head with interlocked fingers. He speaks in a disencumbered tone. "Just look at all of this. It's just, it's just amazing. Don't you think?"
"What's so special about watching different people pass by your eyes?" She says in a snappy manner. "I mean nowadays a lot of people walk past or come to seat in the park. I swear there be like a crusade is going on in here."
Troy just maintains his focus on what is at his forefront without taking a flinch at her. "Hence makes it a bit impossible to be at peace. I mean look at those guys there arguing about football. How can one enjoy her space with all that yelling going on." She gives a wretched stare at the four chaps she had a dire interaction with not so long ago.
"I think football is nice. Don't you?" He says still facing up ahead.
"For me honestly, it's not that nice," she replies. "But that's not the point here."
Still not making a flinch, still relaxed with no worries in bits of his body, and also still wearing a half smile. Troy's slight movement of his lips makes it seem as if he is about to let out some words but then he makes a quick halt as he thought hard about what he intends to say.
"I have been meaning to ask you something." Leah breaks a few seconds of silence agreeing that Troy has exhausted his floor to speak on that matter. "It's about last night. I was shocked by my reaction to the incident. How were you able to stay that calm?"
He does not reply instantly. "Ah yes." He says after staying quiet for some time. He turns to face Leah for the first time since they sat. "I understand that you don't like football but watch this."
Leah sends a puzzled face. "Aren't we passed that already?" She enquires. "I thought maybe you didn't have interest in replying to that matter."
"Don't rush me, girl." He says with a charming tone; that is how she would put it. "May I please show you something?"
"Uh, Okay."
"May you please close your eyes for me?" Troy says in an even more charming tone: also that is how Leah heard it.
"Close my eyes?"
"Trust me."
Blushing with shabby thoughts invading her mind she closes her eyes kindly. Troy instructs her to sit up straight with both her hands lying on her thighs while her palms face down. She complies.
"Great. Do not speak during the activity unless I tell you to. The golden rule here is you must attentively listen to your body." Leah nods at Troy's 'charming voice'.
She takes a long deep breath and then freely exhales with a sigh like instructed. Her excitement and curiosity fuel up at every instruction Troy gives. She begins to wonder if this is some sort of a game or if perhaps he is trying to get her to like football. Maybe he is trying to rub the nuisance of football out of me, she speculates the basis of the experiment.
Troy continues to give instructions. "Listen now, silently in your mind, you are going to count. Count to four as you inhale, then again count to four as you hold your breath, afterward count to four as you exhale, and then again count to four as you hold your breath. Afterward, repeat the process until I stop you. Got it?" She nods. "Remember, you must listen to the changes to your body."
As a forensics student, Leah likes and highly enjoys practical work fundamentally, and her good grades are her spokesperson for that. Her devoted form at the realization of a practical activity right now is understandable.
"And please do not speak until I tell you to," Troy says.
Unraveling a child's face seeing a parent return with new toys after being gone for a whole day, her joyous face creates breathing room for the mouth. At a count of four, she slowly inhales. She holds her breathe (in one, two, three, and four) and exhales at the count (of one, two, three, and four). Finally, she hold her breathe while counting to four then repeats the process. Troy's voice counts every second with her during the first run, then lets her count quietly her mind on the next rounds, and she flourishes.
Hence satisfied, he informs her to open her eyes and reminds her not to say a word at all. Like the good student she is, she follows effortlessly.
"I want you to keep breathing like that with your eyes open for a moment. Please." He implores. After a re-run of breaths, he gives instructions to stop. She makes a light sigh as she goes back to her normal breathing.
"Now tell me. What did you notice?" Finally, he decrees her an option to speak. "Please reply freely, no matter how remote the info is."
She does not respond instantly but takes a moment or two to take hold of her normal breathing. "I noticed that my heartbeat was a little high before but during the process, it lowered to pump at a moderate pace." Pleased she smiles persistently while uttering her first words since she closed her eyes.
"Uh-huh. What else? What about your senses? "
Again she does not give an instant reply. She carefully ponders over the results of carrying out the technique. Words become hard to put in place. "It was the most beautiful thing." Leah says. As the best student in her class, Leah possesses the ability to listen attentively so taking part in this activity was not much of a burden for her. So she listened to her body and mind very carefully during this breathing technique. What she realized during that time was the reason she is staring at Troy in fertile wonderment.