Chereads / Right State of Mind / Chapter 5 - Chapter Five

Chapter 5 - Chapter Five

"I once stumbled upon a poem on the internet," Leah says, her voice neat and low. "This poem is one of the best things that ever happened to me. This poem-" She makes a rather low cough clearing her throat.

'I spread vibrant captivating green color around

Sometimes I scatter shades of grey with the dark side so loud

Of course, I am pretty and admired by many

Even pacifists line up to prey

Furthermore, I am ugly, look close behind my smile you will see a tongue rich in decay

I bring bliss to everybody

From today maybe till tomorrow

but blink once and I will shower your life with sorrow

How are you going to dislike me when you are my servant

Know that your request to resign is forever denied

The fates are toys to my hands

Worry not, balance between good and bad is exercised

Listen, my sister and my brother

Evil done unto you means good is done unto another'

Concluding the poem she sprightly recalls the satisfaction she felt when first hearing such sincere words with eye-opening points. Turning sight in Troy's direction after beautifully reciting the poem, she is met by awe displayed on his face. For the first time, she saw a different type of emotion assembled by his facial expressions.

"To be honest with you. This was the first ever real lesson I learned." Leah says as her smile broadens. "The second is when I met you."

"That poem is exceptionally good." Troy says, his eyebrows raised, popping out his eyeballs. In surprise at Leah's poetry taste, he is moved by the deepness of the poem.

"Yes, it is."

"It has a really deep meaning and wisdom behind it." He says.

"Yes." Leah's smile keeps stretching and undressing her mouth making her bright white teeth appear of sight. "The poet's name is-"

"I do not think the poet is much important." Troy speaks cutting Leah short. "The receiver is more important, especially what he or she plans to do with such knowledge."

"Because what good is the message if it is not received?" Leah speaks confidently believing that she is putting a short stop to Troy's statement. Troy smiles.

"That is why I say you are bright."

"Thank you." Her smile stretches some more. "I believe you are bright too."

"I appreciate that." Troy reply. "Now there is your smile. Ravishing." Her smile extends long enough to compose a small chuckle just enough to give Troy a glimpse of her bright whitish teeth again. He stares at her whole face and is lost in its luster.

He came across many poems but never had he heard one that comes nearer to be finer than the one his companion just uttered. In his opinion, the phrases are so enriched with mesmerizing insight. What he enjoyed most about it is how a string of phrases is effortlessly elucidated on the mind at the conclusion. Respectfully, he was in a great margin of distance to introspection that Leah took interest in reading poetry. His dumbfounded face explains why he is admirably gazing at her.

Eyeing the rhetorician of the poem with a buttered face, his thoughts are pushed to the fling territory as he picks out her pretty smile on a cotton-smooth facial skin.

"So you like poems?" Troy says breaking eye contact and realizing that ideas are becoming fluffy.

"Not really. It is the only one I can recite from my brain."

Troy might have been nodding at Leah's reply as a person who is listening very attentively but the truth is that his attention is absorbed by his thoughts, not entirely but enough to both attend the dirt trying to heckle his mind while partially giving his companion an ear. Not that he loathes the idea of having feelings for her, but he considers having passionate feelings for her a crime that comes with it a fierce punishment. Liberating those feelings at once now becomes a top priority.

"Tell me more about the poem. What you think it means and all." Giving her a course to talk some more, he makes room to visit his head.

Gradually relaxing his muscles he lets the thoughts freely take residence in his mind. 'She is a very pretty girl, I can build a very nice family with her. People will respect me some more seeing me with a beautiful girl like her.' In his head, these thoughts are running rampant and getting dirtier by the next. Opening wide the door, he invites in these thoughts with a smile even though he wishes cessation upon them. In fair heartedness he vouches to tackle this issue without a turbulent toil; trees grow slowly and yet a forest is formed at the end.

So he listens to his breath. His companion's speech becomes secondary to listening to his breathing. He eliminates or at least makes an effort to not mind anything that has nothing to do with his breaths and the conversation. Centered on the counts of his breaths, gradually his mind and body are filled with soothing air from the inhales he is making. Breathing out, his mind and body loosen up all the tension put up on his soul. The freshness of the air he breathes reminds him of the beauty of nature, and in remembrance, his smile widens out beautifully. A couple of runs later, he is unrestrained. Now replying to Leah who is enthusiastic about this chatter, he now faces head-on the chatter without any distractions. Simple in action and thoughts he is now returned to the source of being. Such being a refined man his mind is perfectly at ease. His veins pumping lukewarm blood, his manners natural. The size of his brain is broad. He is cold as autumn but as warm as spring. He is in accord with all things and no one knows the limit of thereof.

Seated on the bench their moods are lovely, and smiles decorated their faces as they discuss the pros and cons of the poem. Decent chuckles and soft laughs took time off existence as it flew past unseen by the two confidantes. With every smile, the flower bloomed, with every giggle, a bird's egg was hatched, with every laugh the smoothest wind blows. Swamped in a world of delight, euphoric bliss of emotions burst out of their souls like a rainbow under a summer sunset.

The conversation evolved and got more absorbing, especially in realizing that they mainly possess identical perspectives. The atmosphere remained vibrant, unfortunately not for long. Two of the four men seated on the bench that is in line with theirs start shouting at each other in irked voices. Dark energies take hold of the atmosphere, the two men stand to their feet with every word getting louder and fiercer than the last. Ire in their eyes reflects malice on the persons staring at them. The other man wearing a pink shirt, who seems to oppose the altercation hoofs in middle looking to cool down the rapidly blazing heat. Wolves let loose, are wolves difficult to maintain indeed as one angry man intensely pushes and shoves away the pink shirt man making him lose balance and fall to his back.

Rising tensions reach the limit in a very short space of time as words are cut to actions. A harsh gun sound-like slap ran across the face of an angry man one on angry man two. The slap must have symbolized a bell ring because a fight got underway at its sound, and hands got to flying. Leah, Troy, and everybody around these parts get to their feet and turn sight to this malicious scenery.

While these wrestlers are boiled up with so much anger inside, few of the audience watch in pity while most gaze at this rampant scuffle in satisfaction Some even pull out their smartphones and record the fight at grand angles. The weather turns dark and cloudy in scenery impacting sorrow on Leah's emotions. A robust blow from the angry man two made blood ooze from his opponent's face at a lightning pace.

"Help me break it off." A voice comes from the man with a pink shirt. Blood making the picture even gorier gave other spectators more reason to help break off the fight.

"Call the ambulance." A woman said.

"Call the police, he needs to be arrested for abusing him like that." A man from the crowd says.

"They are like animals."

"Wow. Did you see that punch?" Another says.

"Both of them got to be arrested." One more spectator gets a say.

With the fight stopped, now everyone is ready to throw on a gown, hold a gable and take a seat on a high chair.

Taking his eyes off the hierarchy of a setting, Troy learns that Leah is not where his eyes last left her. Expanding the view he sees her seated at the furthest bench away from the assembly, her chin is lowered to her throat as if her head was heavy. She seems to be at sixes and sevens.

Approaching, he makes a stop at a food stall of a lady who at the moment is unhappy about her enterprise for keeping her from moving closer to the recent interesting activity.

"It was a fight, right? How bad was it?" A lady plump in figure but lightning quick at moving her hands in work says before her customer could open his mouth as she flipped several sausages instantaneously from the braai stand. Since she, unfortunately, sees it not fit to ask a stranger to stay with her enterprise so she can move closer to the action she instead chooses to ask for some updates.

Reading the writings on a wall, Troy expects a lot more questions to follow.

"There was blood, so I guess it was bad. Can I get two bottles of water please?" At this moment Troy takes out the exact amount of the price aiming to avoid piling up additional chitchat time.

"How did it turn bloody?" She says. In a speedy motion, she gives him the goods then gets straight back to flipping sausages and repositioning properties from their place then back to their place again. Naturally, she is a person who is immune to standing still for a millisecond. So it seems.

"One of them took two too many punches to the head. That's how." Troy replies while he gives her some money. "Thank you, Miss." He speaks again intercepting the lady's utterance when he sees her mouth make a small opening. He turns and attempts to walk away.

"Two too many? That is so bad." She shouts out loud. Her eyes broadened and her mouth opened up wide. She covers her mouth with both her hands ground down in disbelief. "Is he dead?"

"No ma'am, he is not dead." Troy says moving his feet away from the stall. The lady yells some more but since it was not a question but a statement Troy chooses to not make a reply.

Closing in on Leah he sighs in bother to her discomfort. "Hi." He says. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know anymore." Leah says palely.

"Here. Have some water." Lowering down to the seat, he hands her a bottle. She grabs it, and without a word, she straightens up and then roughly twists the cap open. Next follows large and long gulps.

Joy then all of a sudden comes sorrow. What is the matter with life? Guess it is the way, nothing but the way, no matter what you do or what you think, the way will always remain the way.

Sighing from the last heavy gulp she leans back and looks up high to the skies. Troy just stares in a vexed state.

"For the first time in my life. I see a populace which is lost." Leah's tone sounds inadequate with a twist of rasp to it.

"Is it about the fight between those men? Don't fuss, chances are they'll be friends again tomorrow." Twisting and opening the bottle cap, he makes a remote sip.

"It's not only about that." She brings her head back to normal position. "Back then when you made me realize that I let expectation take hold of my emotions rather than control them, it is what almost most of us people do." She lifts the bottle to her mouth then halts it mid-air like she attempted to make an action then realised that she is not to perform this action, so she lowers the bottle back to her lap and then continues to speak. "I wish people would live the good and only the good life. It may sound measly but I- I- I just wish everybody would be kind to one another."

"Ain't nothing measly about that." Troy says. "That is what I wish for my whole life. But for as long as good exists, evil will always be there to give it significance."

For there to be good, evil needs to exist and oppose it, Leah clearly understood Troy's point. She can not help but wish in her mind that there was an extremely thick line between good and evil, and everyone was on the good flank having no access to smell, see, or touch the other flank behind the drastic thick line. Her head begins to endure small aches as she emotionally whines over the immoralities of the world. Even though she undoubtedly appreciates the lessons she attained from Troy for giving her a purer vision of life, of course, she sees the immaculate beauty of life but the ugly side is the one that gets the better of her immensely, and that alone haunts her.

In a minute she understands that there is a way of life, how everything in life pens out. How one second a person is happy then the next second he is weeping over her loved one's death. How a person lives most of his life miserable while his neighbor is living happily every week of the month. How blood family could fall apart in an instant, all this is nature doing its thing, she thought. She secretly implored for insight on that one. She squabbles with her emotions trying to keep a tear from falling as she thought about her mother and learning how she has been ignorantly keeping her banished from bonding. Swallowed by her thoughts, she does not even realize that they had been silent for over two minutes now.

Troy chose to just seat and observe, assuming her companion is in another phase of attaining wisdom.

"Hello, Miss. Would you care to spare me some change?" A manly voice awakes Leah from in-depth thinking.

Leah looks up, her eyes met by a man who looks as if he was dipped in muddy water and then put under a baking sun until his clothes and skin dried up. His clothes have many holes to count and his beard holds a rich color of decayed bones, bet the hair in his head appears as such also if he was to remove his originally green but now is a dead-lime hat. A tear falls down Leah's cheek.

"Ma'am, I asked if you could spare me some change." The stranger asks again, caring less about her tears or anything else that has nothing to do with 'some change'. Her hands shake as she unzips her handbag and pulls out a cash note.

"Here. Have this." She hands it to him sobbing and peeling away the tears with the back of her hand.

"Thank you, ma'am." Again, the stranger is unbothered by her tears. A huge smile on his face rather adds more blemish when his dirt-yellowish teeth are exposed to the fullest. He walks away chuckling in exhilaration.

Troy gazes at Leah and his mood catches despair of sensations, his smile dies gradually. His faith tells him that whatever Leah learned in their chatter gave her a bigger heart instantly. The greater the heart is, the more chances it is prone to be hurt if exposed to evils.

Just like he always believed in some way to live in peace, courtesy of a written piece his eyes once met; there is that condition where there is no earth, water, fire, or air. Where there are no spheres of infinite space, infinite consciousness, nothingness, or either the spheres of either consciousness nor unconsciousness. Where there is not this world, the world beyond, or both together. No sun and no moon. Where there is no coming to birth or going to death, no duration hence no falling or arising. It is not fixed, it does not move, it is based on nothing. This indeed is the end of suffering.

A powerful stranger of emotion hits him hard, he whimpers in secrete. Leah sobbing and a bit embarrassed by her breakdown sweep her tears with her hands. She turns to face Troy and she is stunned to see him without a smile for the first time.