"Mom are you alright?" Is all I hear as my head starts pounding like crazy, my body won't stop shaking and I have to tell myself over and over that I was dreaming. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, scratch my skin off until it's left only a bloody mess, and cry grueling tears until I die from dehydration.
"I'm fine." Is all I can manage to spit out, my voice quivers. A slightest poke could make me shatter into a nasty ball of tears and snot. How I wish I was dead. But I can't just leave Anthon on his own with his toxic so called father, nor can I just traumatize a little kid with his mothers suicide. A loud bang blows the door open interrupting my thoughts, Marybeth welcomes me with a stare seemingly saying I killed nine generations of her family.
"Darling wants you. Probably gonna punish you for that whole fiasco with the ambassador, stupid hag." She sneers at me then leaves with a look of disgust. I hear her happy humming and clack of her heels slowly diminish as I slowly drag my tired body off the bed. Anthon tugs my nightgown sleeve with a look of pleading not to go, but I simply shake my head and quickly get dressed. I reach to pat his head but he flinches, I frown and pull my hand back. How could I have not seen how terrible I was in the past? I want to rip my body apart piece by piece and chuck it off a cliff, how could I be so stupid?
I wave goodbye and walk towards the office, but he's not there. For the next thirty minutes I'm wandering around the exhaustingly large hallways looking for him, classic Marybeth. I eventually find him on the balcony and he shows his appreciation for my visit with a big slap to the face. He glowers at me and my body starts to shake like I'm being sent to a slaughterhouse. I tell myself I'm not afraid but when I meet with his glare I falter.
I want to take a step back and bolt out the door like a fleeing deer, but he grabs my hand and throws me on the couch. "How dare you do that!" He screams at me, he raises his fist and punches me across the face. My whole face would normally feel like it's on fire but I feel nothing. I reach and touch my cheek and press, but I still feel no pain at all. Before I can think more about it he kicks my stomach and I fall down on the couch. He keeps punching, kicking, and slapping until he breathes heavily and slicks his hair back.
As he's about to leave I try to speak, but no words come out. I slowly take a deep breath and the words quietly sneak out, "I want a divorce."