I help Anthon board, gripping his hand and lifting him up although uselessly since my whole body is in tatters. He does the heavy lifting by himself and sits down next to me, his hand still intertwined in mine.
"Mom, where are we going? How are we going to live from now on? What happened?"
I smile tentatively making up the answers along the way, "We are going to go to our new house. We can go to either Lluceye or Galidade, probably Galidade since it's closer and is known for its protection. I might set up a shop near the outskirts of the city, depending on the housing options. I divorced your dad since I can't handle seeing another second of his face, and I got full custody rights of you along with some money to live off of." I say, squeezing his hand, "Everything's going to be okay." I grin at him but he only gives me an awkward smile back, "Mom," He sighs, "You know Gladidade is filled with beastmen right?"
I glare at him as I frown, "Who taught you to say such things?" He stares at me with a are you stupid look, "You did." I give an awkward smile but it falters as the corner of my mouth twitches, "think of everything I said in the past as pure utter nonsense, I was stupid and my brain was muddled. Yes, Gladidade's population is nearly all beastmen but that means we can be protected even more. Don't believe all those rumors on how they feast on children in the night and all that halabaloo, simply stories to scare children into behaving. Don't believe in rumors, instead believe in what you have seen and experienced." I say wanting to throw my past self off a cliff, I believed everything everyone said like a fool. Honestly I was scared of not fitting in so I just went with the flow, even though the flow was filled with ignorant illogical people that blindly believed anything that they heard.
A bump of the carriage interrupts my thoughts as I stare at the blindingly bright sky, "What happened when I was out?" I turn my head to look at Anthon, he obediently answers. "I went looking for you since you had been gone a long time. I wandered around until I found you on the floor c-collapsed in your own blood. I asked the passing people for help but they just i-ignored me. I tried to drag your body to our room but you were too h-heavy. I had no choice but to leave you there as I looked for the d-doctor, but he also i-ignored me." He starts to cry again as I lean over for a hug he flinches again but leans in, my dress once again stained by his tears.
I want to slap all those nasty people at the mansion, but I can't do anything but comfort Anthon. I hate how powerless I am, how insignificant I am, how useless I am, how weak I am. But I was once one of those people who made him cry, I can't even cover up for my past actions. I was simply stupidly evil. I wish I could go back in time and correct my past actions, but that only happens in novels. Why was I so foolishly stupid? With these thoughts flooding in my head, the only thing I can do is be the best person I can in the future. I sigh helplessly as I comfort Anthon, "I'm sorry." Is all I can mumble, but I don't even have the right to even utter those words to him.