"What happened?" I asked, as I checked the wounds in the mirror. He surely wanted to break my left side, as I was in bandages due to the glass he beat me with. Oh God, why couldn't he get over the fact that the princess had a liking for me? Now, I will have to commemorate her with some scar on my left side near my eye; I am sure the cut was quite deep as I still felt the pain even on raising my head. The King, of course, had left; he was always busy for sure, maybe. I was with one of the royal nurses.
"You are lucky the King feels remorse for you. You would end up as his other bastards," the nurse stated, observing me, and made me wonder how many women the King had impregnated in his youthful days. Being polygamous was something Kings always had an advantage in; I sometimes wondered if women had feelings when it came to the man they loved finding love in another human's body. It just felt hurting.
"Are there others?" I asked.
"Yes, yes, of course, but it seems you were the only one he always looked out for. He always wondered where you went. He seemed very sorry for his youthful mistakes regarding you and your mother; that is why he is trying his best to make you understand him. He does not offer such to his other sons, just money and a little refuge, then chases them away," the woman stated and fell silent when the door was quietly opened. Our attention shifted to the door as white gloves shoved, and I felt my heart skip a bit, and suddenly it was beating as if the oxygen within was not enough.
"Willock," the princess called out, and it was like I could not find my voice for a second. I just stared as the nurse excused us. "I hear Lord William did this," she added. I wished to nod, but I would not have her know that the reason behind our fighting was her. She was the reason, and I was beaten and lay in bed, however, I am sure William was also in a terrible state.
"Heard the news?" I asked her when I realized she was eager to hear about the news. "It's just a little cut on my left; it's not as painful," I stated. Of course, it was, but with her here, it just seemed all the pains flew away, and my everything focused on her, like she would be the only reason I would feel any pain and aches, and she would be the reason I would feel happiness. "Heard the news?" I asked again, knowing the happiness in my voice could not be suppressed. I just wanted her to tell me she heard that the King had accepted whatever we had. I just felt much for her. I did not care about my wounds, family, or anything that would create a barrier between us, even though it meant me moving away, far away from family, I would, I surely would.
"Yes, I did," she stated, seemingly unconcerned. She casually mentioned it, and I suppose I was the only one feeling elated. I closed my eyes; I was the kind who never concealed my emotions. Anyone could discern them through my eyes. She, of course, could see that I was disappointed. I don't know why; I just thought she would be happier than I. "I love it, everything... but I am worried; that would be so much for you," she added.
"No, no, why worry? I am in favor of everything the King has to offer. Additionally, he is in debt as he, he, he..." I searched for the words to convey that he was my father but just couldn't. I couldn't accept the idea of replacing my father, the Duke, with his majesty. It just felt a little bit wrong, but I was just glad he had offered the lands; that will do for now.
"I am sorry about Lord William," the princess stated, and I just smiled at that. However, I knew I needed to leave for Bavdon, as my father awaited me there, and the King prepared to host the ball that would finally introduce the princess and me. I was just happy that I was finally marrying her or getting engaged, whatsoever.
"I wish to leave for Bavdon; I am sure father waits for me there," I told her, prompting her to call the palace manager who escorted me to the carriages, and I left with one of the King's guards. The King's guards never knew my mother's resting place, but I felt I should go there and maybe share the news with her. I feared if they knew wherever she was buried, the Queen would end up destroying the tombstone. It would be heartbreaking, so I knew what I would do. We would head to Lake Tigris, spend the night in my father's castle, and to conceal the King's guard from realization, I would take him to my father's hotel and make him drunk. I wondered if Lady Debris and her siblings still lived in that house; it would be the first time in a long time we would meet, and I would be glad. "Do you know the shortest route to Lake Tigris?" I asked him.
"Yes, your Lordship. Any business there?" he inquired.
"Yes, I wish us to spend the night there."
"Right away, sir," he stated, and I heard the carriage shift to another direction. He seemed well-acquainted with the route. As we rode, I thought about many things. I contemplated life and realized that, financially, life had been fair on my side, except for the times when I was in the wilderness and ended up in Iraq; that was the first time I felt truly lost. Afterward, I drifted into sleep as I heard the carriage come to a stop.
"Is there some matter of concern?" I asked.
"I have no idea where the Duke's house is, sir. Some directions would be appreciated." Of course, I knew many people were unaware of the Duke's hideouts, so I had to ensure this man would say nothing. Should I buy him a room in that hotel and just leave? But I decided to give him directions; after arrival, I'd make sure he said nothing about the house. It was somewhere no one was supposed to know.
We arrived at the house almost three in the afternoon. I gave the man my word not to disclose anything about the house. I took one of father's horses to go to my mother's resting place. It was the first time I felt the need to speak to her; she just seemed to occupy my thoughts. I hoped wherever she watched over me, she would sense that maybe I was happy. I don't know; I wish I could truly grasp my emotions. On arrival, I tethered my horse near her stone and began wiping the dust from the top. As I read the words, "Lady Isla Hirlvington," she was a Viscount, of course. How did I ever miss those words, I told myself? I had brought some flowers and laid them on top, finding myself tearing up. I had no idea why. It had been a long time since I came here, back before I was chased out of England by people I have no idea about.
"I am sorry. It's been a while. I kinda missed how quiet this place seems," I started as I realized I lacked words to say. "Do you remember the princess, Princess Diana? The King finally accepts what we are. He wishes I take over one of the palaces in Wales or Scotland. He seems to make it up for me, but I would love to know why he had to leave you in such a situation. How painful was it to die while having me? Sometimes I think about you, I think about how it would really feel being loved, being embraced by your own biological mother. Not that I am not, but I just ask myself, how would my pains feel under your eyes? How would my happiness feel under your eyes? How happy would you be if I shared great news with you? The Duke's wife, Ma, she's the best mother I would ever have. She has always held my hand even when father raised voices at me. She truly is, but is that enough? Is it really? Don't get me wrong; I just sometimes wish I could have had more time and learned about you. All I hear are stories about you and the King. I don't like how that ended, but no one tells me about you. No one tells me how loving and caring you were. No one tells me if you loved winter seasons or summers. No one tells me if I have the sympathy of you. Everyone has something to say about you, but it all revolves around 'her wrongs with the majesty.' I am sorry; I am just overwhelmed by them. It's not beautiful to always be reminded of your place in society in a different manner; it is surely not beautiful. The aching part is his majesty never got to even taste the wickedness of this society. I hate it, Ma. But sad moments aside, I wish you could meet her, the woman I am to marry. She has the whitest and blemishless of skins. She likes white; her teeth are white, her eyes have shades of hazel, but turn colorless when they look at me. It is like they just see through me. I will bring her here one day and introduce you. You will never be forgotten in our lives, not one moment. That's one of the happiest things I have been offered concerning my emotions. She is the beautiful thing; she truly is."